Walking The Razor's Edge

by Ileandra Young

A shrill cry cut off her explanation. It carried on the still morning air and echoed, haunting and pain filled.

  Lenina stood beside the car before fully understanding the decision to leave her seat. ‘Dad?’ She narrowed her eyes at the shadowed trees. ‘Dad!’

  Eyes round and wide, Grace leaned over her seat. ‘Do you think they’re coming after us? Was that your father?’

  The urge to follow ached in Lenina like a physical wound. She looked at her mother and Shawn, then at Jordan still unconscious in the back. She took a step towards the trees.

  Two golden spots flashed in the tree line, then vanished before she could get a clear look. A vague impression of something low and dark cut across her vision to the left, then Ray crashed out of the trees. His eyes were black, his fangs exposed. Blood dripped from the tips of his fingers. ‘Test me, wolf,’ he muttered. ‘I dare you.’

  More silence. Then low rustling as something big and heavy retreated through the undergrowth.

  A moment later Darryl stumbled into view. Aside from the patches of blood on his chest and stomach he stood before them utterly naked. He puffed a curl of hair out of his eyes. ‘Do you believe me now?’ He glared at Ray.

  ‘Get back in the car, Chuck.’

  ‘What’s going on?’

  ‘I said, get in.’

  ‘No!’ She slammed her hand against the roof. The metal bowed. She didn’t care. ‘Don’t prove Kallisto right. You’re not a captain any more.’

  ‘I’m your father.’

  ‘And I’m an adult.’

  He ground his teeth and said nothing.

  Darryl staggered forward, unconcerned by his nudity. ‘My pack have revolted. Luke used this mess of yours to convince the others I ain’t capable of leading. They turned on me.’ He said it quickly, his gaze touching on hers before landing on the floor. ‘I escaped. Just.’

  Inside the car, Shawn gave a little moan. ‘Then where are they? Why are we just standing here?’

  ‘Luke called them back.’ A little growl slipped from Darryl’s lips. ‘That cunning, two-faced slick of scum. He doesn’t want me dead, he wants to make a point in front of the Grandfathers. I came to warn you.’

  ‘Why take that risk?’ She didn’t mean to ask, but now the question was out Lenina waited for the answer.

  Long seconds passed before Darryl spoke. ‘Because you don’t deserve to die.’

  ‘That didn’t bother you before.’

  He sighed. One hand lifted to scratch the back of his neck. ‘I got what I wanted, didn’t I?’ He gestured to Ray. ‘And whether you want it or not that changes everything. The Grandfathers ain’t got no choice now, they need to boost our numbers. There’s only one way to do that quickly.’

  ‘You’re hurt,’ she pointed to a ragged wound across his ribs.

  ‘I’ll be fine. You guys need to get out of here.’

  Lenina bit her lip. ‘Come with us.’

  His head snapped up. Shock glimmered in his eyes.

  ‘I mean it. Get in the car.’

  ‘No.’

  Lenina threw an exasperated look at her father who merely shrugged. ‘Why not?’

  ‘I still have pack out there. People who need me. I can’t leave them.’

  ‘And how many of them against one of you?’

  He shrugged. ‘Don’t matter. I ain’t leaving.’

  She stared at the bloodied, naked man and felt her heart give a little stutter.

  ‘Chuck, no.’ Ray marched across the small space and grabbed her arm before she could voice the thought half-formed in her mind. He shoved her towards the car. ‘Don’t be stupid. You’re coming with me.’

  ‘Don’t tell me what to do.’

  ‘Guys, chill out.’ Darryl waved his hands. ‘This ain’t your business anyway. I don’t need your help.’

  ‘Darryl—’

  ‘I got it, girlie. Stay with your little newborn.’ He jerked his chin at Shawn, still watching warily from the backseat. ‘Way I remember it, he’s going to need feeding soon and you should do the same. I’ll be fine.’ He loitered long enough to offer her a small smile before turning and walking back into the line of trees.

  ‘Chuck—’

  She shoved passed her father and back into the car, slamming the door. After a moment, Ray followed.

  They drove away in silence.

  #

  Ray stopped the car outside an unfamiliar house, cutting the engine and leaning back with a sigh. ‘You stay here for today. Tonight we’ll get out of Leicester.’

  Lenina flexed her fingers, steadying her voice into a vague approximation of neutral. ‘And where are you going?’

  ‘Tribute. Both you and Shawn need it before the day gets too bright. Shawn especially.’

  She frowned. ‘So you’re just going to snatch someone off the street?’

  ‘Is that really what you think of me?’

  ‘What am I supposed to think?’ She slapped a palm on the dashboard. ‘I watched you make a person bleed with nothing more than your mind. You’re a two thousand year old vampire.’

  He gripped the steering wheel. ‘I’m a two thousand year old soldier touched by a god to protect and serve his people. Whatever you think you know, put it aside.’

  ‘Why? You’re trying to tell me the memories I have aren’t real? That you weren’t once a murderer and a bully? I got it all Dad, and from what I saw, you didn’t do much protecting.’

  A low groan came from the back seat. Jordan stirred inside his blanket, one hand clawing at his throat. ‘Mum? Mum!’

  Grace shot out of the car, running around to the back to climb in beside him. She pulled her son into her arms and rocked gently, stroking the side of his face with tender fingers. ‘I’m here, baby. It’s okay. I’m here.’

  He clutched her, whimpering. ‘Am I dead?’

  ‘No, sweetie. You’re not dead.’ She helped him out of the car, beckoning to Shawn to help get him into the house.

  Lenina looked away from them, unable to watch.

  Ray still held the steering wheel, the plastic beneath the leather bent and twisted.

  ‘Where are you getting the blood, Dad?’

  ‘The hospital. It shouldn’t take much to convince the staff.’

  She snorted. ‘Yes, Saar the mind-rapist flaunts his powers once again. Tell me, Dad, how many times a night do you use the Xamesh? Did you use Shalat to convince me Jimmy Barner wasn’t good boyfriend material? I seem to remember you didn’t like him because he was “a shifty little teenager with one thing on his mind.” Or was it you who convinced me that archaeology was a better degree choice than drama and theatre?’

  Ray released the wheel slowly and placed his hands in his lap. When he spoke, he did so in low, haunted tones. ‘I haven’t used any of the Xamesh since the day I met your mother.’

  She paused, mid rage. ‘What?’

  ‘Tonight was the first time in more than thirty years—perhaps you didn’t notice, but I’m a little rusty. You think the old me couldn’t have stopped that fight before it began? What I did to Kallisto I could have done to anyone. All of them. But . . . I couldn’t. I don’t know what would have happened if I tried. I haven’t given tribute since the day you were born.’

  She snorted. ‘Impossible. You’d be dead by now.’

  Ray gave a sad smile. ‘Two thousand years is a lot of accumulated credit.’

  Though it took effort, Lenina forced herself to look at him. To watch his face.

  He’s just the same . . .

  The father who picked her up when she fell. Brushed tears from her eyes. Taught her how to ride a bike. The same man and yet . . .

  ‘Why?’

  He chewed the edge of his thumbnail. ‘You were so tiny, Chuck. When you were born I held you in one hand across my palm and wrist . . . and you stared at me. Just stared. I could see the world in your eyes. You were covered in blood and goo, all blotchy with flaky, wrinkled skin, but you were so beautiful. And human. I knew I could never give tribute again, even if i
t meant loosing Set’s favour.’

  ‘Didn’t you care about how weak that would make you?’

  ‘I didn’t know then what it would do.’

  ‘And if you did?’

  ‘I would have done the same thing.’ At last he faced her, his gaze firm and steady. ‘You held my thumb and squeezed it . . . you had such a grip. And when I tried to put you on your mother, I had to prise your fingers away one by one. You didn’t want to leave me and you cried when I forced you to. But I handed you over because I knew that was best, because you belonged on your mother’s chest for that first experience of skin to skin. She fed you, I watched and I promised that I would protect you.’

  Lenina couldn’t speak. She toyed with the hem of her gown, picking at a loose thread stained red and pink.

  ‘I felt the exact moment you changed. Gods, it hurt so much.’

  She gripped the dashboard.

  ‘I was ironing a shirt for work. Your mother was talking about the wedding. I dropped the iron on my foot. Burned half my skin off and left a hole in the carpet. It was like Mosi stabbing me all over again.’ He gazed into the distance, seeming not to notice the hand he pressed to his chest.

  ‘Daddy—’

  He cleared his throat. ‘Didn’t you wonder why none of the Majestics recognised me? Or Tristen? I’ve aged. When I stopped giving tribute I began to age. Not quite like a human, but it’s enough to trick people who expect to see someone young, clear skinned and long haired. I was younger than you when Kazemde found me, did you realise that?’

  She shook her head.

  ‘I’m not the person I used to be. Whatever magic it was that gave you the memories of my life, they stopped when I “died” in 1815, didn’t they?’

  A nod this time.

  ‘I did die then, though not in the traditional sense. I died from my old life and became something else.’

  ‘Blood is power . . .’ Lenina stared at her fingers. ‘But the Saar in me recognised you.’

  ‘We share blood. I’m your father. Of course he would recognise his own blood. What I don’t know is how he got there. What do you remember?’

  ‘Everything. I need to think about it, but if I want, I can see your whole life. Right up to . . .’

  ‘When you were conceived?’

  Lenina scrunched her eyes shut. That was one memory she didn’t want to examine.

  Ray smiled. ‘Sorry, but that makes sense. You probably haven’t had much time to think about it yet, but when you do, study those memories—the other ones, not me and your mother. Look at what I was doing, how I lived. That’s who I am now. The other guy is gone.’

  Lenina gazed at the house beside them, with its run down garden choked with weeds and crawling lengths of ivy. Flies buzzed around an open compost bin while a fat ginger cat watched haughtily from an upstairs window.

  She cleared her throat. Unclenched her fingers. ‘Who lives here?’

  ‘Frank and Helen Timmit.’ Ray faced the front again. His voice became business-like. ‘I convinced them they needed to visit their son and daughter-in-law for a couple of weeks. They’re safe and out of the way.’

  ‘When did you do that?’

  ‘Before I came to Red Fang. I also called your manager and told her you wouldn’t be at the museum for a couple of days. She said take all the time you want and to call her if you need anything.’

  Lenina bit her lip. ‘You never thought Kallisto might kill us all?’

  ‘No.’

  She could think of nothing else to say.

  Fumbling with the handle, Lenina let herself out of the car. She scurried up the drive, ready to hammer down the door, but it was already open. Ramona stood on the step, silhouetted in the glow of a small, dingy ceiling light.

  ‘Nina! Holy crap, I was so scared. Your dad told me everything—he said we had to come here—I can’t believe it. It’s crazy. Our house isn’t safe any more. How could all this happen? Why didn’t you tell me? Are you okay? What did they do to you? Is that blood? What are you wearing?’

  Lenina stared at her best friend. Something loosened in her gut. Until that moment she had no idea how tightly wound she was. Tears dripped off the end of her chin as she leapt forward and crushed Ramona in a hug. The familiar scent of pencil shavings, printer paper and ink wafted up her nose.

  ‘Never change,’ she whispered into those wild red curls. ‘Never, ever change.’

  Chapter Thirty-One

  Holding the mug made Lenina feel almost normal. The fact that it contained blood, warmed gently in the microwave didn’t bother her at all. She took another sip before cradling it to her chest. She imagined the scent of black tea leaves, or peppermint from her mother’s garden. It helped, but only a little. The next time she raised the cup to her lips, the rich sweetness of human blood chased away the fantasy.

  Finally free of the filthy ceremonial garb, Lenina wore a big pink dressing gown with ragged sleeves and a wide hood. Just one of the items commandeered from the drawers of Helen Timmit.

  Wedged against her right side, Shawn also nursed a mug of blood. He stared at it with wide frightened eyes, occasionally glancing at the three empty cups lined up on the coffee table in front of him.

  Every bite mark, bruise and cut had vanished from his body. His arms moved freely with no signs of having been dislocated or broken.

  When he returned from his shower half an hour before, he had marvelled at the change to his skin. Every motion, every step was smooth and easy, made with no wasted energy. He flexed his biceps, pushed his fingers against the tips of his fangs and stared in the mirror at his bright white eyes.

  ‘Why are my eyes that colour? Shouldn’t they go black like yours?’

  Ray clapped him on the shoulder. ‘It means Set is particularly fond of you. You’re an Elder.’

  ‘I’ve only been a vampire for three hours.’

  ‘God-touched,’ Ray corrected. ‘And Elder isn’t about age, it’s a title. It means you’ll have strong gifts in one of the five powers. You’ll find out which one as you give more tribute.’

  ‘Like Tristen?’

  A muscle pulsed in Ray’s jaw. ‘Yes.’

  Now Shawn slurped the last dregs of the fourth mug of warmed blood and licked his lips. ‘Is there any more?’

  On the floor, sitting with her back to the wall, Ramona gave a little shudder. Verni wrapped her arms around her, stroking her face with one pale hand.

  ‘I can get it for you, Officer.’ Grace trudged down the stairs wiping her hands on a towel. She brought the scent of shampoo and shower gel with her.

  ‘Thanks, but I don’t think I’m an officer any more. “Shawn” is fine.’

  Grace threaded her fingers through the mug handles. ‘Jordan doesn’t want to come down. He’s angry, but he’ll be okay. Are you sure we can’t take him to the hospital?’

  A single shake of Ray’s head stopped that line of questioning. She sighed and carried all the mugs into the kitchen. The low hum of the microwave soon filled the still.

  Lenina put her mug on the floor. ‘So, what now?’

  Ray shifted in his seat. ‘Maybe I should explain?’

  ‘You can try.’

  ‘You’re upset, Chuck. I understand and I’m sorry, but I’m not going to apologise. It was the right thing.’

  ‘You lied to me.’ Though her voice was calm and level, Lenina clenched her fingers in her lap and stared straight ahead. ‘You knew about the prophecy, you must have known what it meant for me.’

  He scoffed. ‘There is no prophecy. Yameen was so frightened after he found me that day, that he turned my sleep talk into something more than it was. I let him. And I let the others keep believing it as a means to control them. There’s no bigger cage than hope, Lenina.’

  ‘But . . .’ Her stomach flip-flopped. The urge to vomit surged within her, but her god-touched body refused to give up the blood. ‘Then what about this?’ She pointed to the tick-shaped scab on her cheek. ‘And the Saar in my head and the blood and the
memories and all these horrible things? You mean it wasn’t real?’

  Ray shook his head. ‘I’ve barely thought of anything but this since I felt you change. Lenina, you’re my daughter. Your blood is my blood. Is it really any surprise that you were so susceptible to the Kiss? Jordan is probably the same.’

  ‘So you knew. All this time you knew that any god-touched could come along and turn me into one of you?’

  ‘Of course not. If I did, I would have told you the truth as soon as you were old enough to understand. Your mother thought I should, but . . .’ he raised his hands then let them fall. ‘I still thought I knew better than a mere human.’

  Footsteps padded on the stairs. Jordan stepped into view wearing a pair of blue tartan pyjamas far too large for his skinny frame. He stopped half way down, scratching at the bandages wrapped about his wrist. More white plasters covered marks on his neck and shoulders. ‘Great. So you lied to protect me and all it did was make things worse.’

  ‘Not if I can help it.’

  ‘Wonderful, super-vampire rolls in to save the day.’ He grunted, stomping down the rest of the steps. ‘This is such bullshit.’

  Ray narrowed his eyes. ‘Don’t speak like that around me, Jordan. I’m still your father.’

  ‘I have no idea who you are. My dad or some crazy vampire from Egypt who tried to kill everyone? How could you? Why am I the only one left out? Mum knew, Nina’s a vampire like you . . . what about me?’

  Lenina frowned. ‘What about you? Do you have any idea what I’d give to be normal? I didn’t ask for this.’

  ‘But you got it. Like you always do.’ Shaking his head, Jordan whirled and stomped into the kitchen, bumping Grace on the way. She returned with a fresh mug and a worried frown.

  ‘What’s his problem?’ Lenina asked the empty air.

  ‘Everything he thought he knew is wrong, Chuck. He just needs time.’

  ‘But he sounds jealous.’

  ‘Maybe he is.’

  ‘Why?’ Lenina watched Shawn grab the mug and glug the contents. She shook her head. ‘Does he want to drink blood every day? Stupid dreams, memories and pain all the time? He can have it.’ Lenina touched the side of her face again. ‘I killed Nick because I couldn’t control myself and he’s jealous? Idiot.’