Lightning Rod Faces the Cyclops Queen

by Unknown

  “So, let me get this right,” said Flynn, anxiously playing with his scarf. “The two of us are supposed to stop that thing?”

  “Ooga,” said Double Trouble.

  “By ourselves?”

  “Booga!” the spell-caster grinned, waving his staff with glee.

  “Thought so,” said Flynn, looking more than a little concerned. “Thanks for clearing that up.”

  High above, Kaos appeared at the prow of the ship and nearly overbalanced, but was caught by Glumshanks at the last minute.

  “Glumshanks, you fool! You nearly had me over the edge,” Flynn heard the evil Portal Master squeak. “I was just about to summon my GIANT FLOATING HEAD!”

  “Sorry, Lord Kaos,” the troll mumbled, looking down in shame as if he’d done something wrong.

  Kaos threw up his arms and a massive menacing head appeared in midair. It was obviously Kaos, but somehow his features looked even more malignant, his expression even more poisonous.

  “Ugh,” said Flynn. “You can see right up his nose from here.”

  “People of Tempest Towers!” the head shrieked. “Fear me! Fear KAAAAOOOS!!”

  “And he wonders why people don’t like him,” commented Flynn. “He didn’t even say hello. Didn’t his mother teach him any manners?”

  “I, KAOS, demand that you bring me the Land Whale right here, right now. Resist me and I will unleash my minions. What’s more I will summon the SCARY SHARKBATH OF DEADLY TOOTH-SHARKS! They will swim through your streets, gobbling everything in their path. In short, you will be DOOOOOOOOMED!”

  “Yeah, like that’s going to work,” said Flynn. From behind the thick walls they could hear a lot of scurrying about and excited shouting. “There’s no way those cyclopses will just hand over the Land Whale.”

  High above them, a window opened and the two gatehouse guards poked their heads out, each holding loudhailers in their hands.

  “Here we go,” sniggered Flynn.

  “Kaos, we bring a message from her majesty, the Cyclops Queen,” called out Slow Hand.

  “He isn’t going to like this.” Flynn laughed.

  “WELL?” shouted Kaos.

  “She says that sounds absolutely fine. Please come and pick up the whale from the Royal Menagerie Tower whenever you’re ready.”

  “She said what?” Flynn said, amazed.

  “Ooga booga?” Double Trouble said, befuddled.

  “WHAAAAAAAT?” roared Kaos. “How dare she defy Kaos? She will rue the day when . . .”

  Flynn watched Glumshanks tap the dastardly Portal Master on his bony shoulder and whisper into Kaos’s ear.

  “Eh?” Kaos said, his Giant Head mimicking his puzzled look. “She agreed to my terms? Just like that? Well, that’s . . . a good thing, isn’t it?” Kaos turned back to address the city. “Excellent! Thank you, your majesty. A wise decision. Prepare to meet your CONQUEROR!”

  Flynn was still scratching his head as the zeppelin thundered over the city walls.

  “I just don’t get it,” said Flynn. “If the queen was happy to just hand over the whale, why haven’t our guys . . . Whoa, what’s happening?”

  Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop!

  The pilot had suddenly found himself lifted off his feet. He looked down to see that Double Trouble had created a bunch of tiny clones that were in the process of picking up the two of them.

  “What’s the big idea?” Flynn asked.

  “Ooga!”

  “Nope, still don’t understand a word you’re saying, fella. I mean, you could be saying that you’re going to detonate these little guys so we’re sent flying up over the wall and into the zeppelin, but that would just be nuts, right?”

  “Booga ooga!” Double Trouble agreed, nodding sagely.

  “Thought as much. So what’s the plan?”

  Double Trouble giggled madly and blew up the clones anyway.

  “WAAAAAAAAAAH!” Flynn screamed as they were both propelled up toward the zeppelin.

  In the menagerie, Drobot was doing all he could to stop Lightning Rod from walking right into the Land Whale’s gaping maw.

  He’d tried hauling him back, standing in his path, and even yanking his flowing locks to shock him out of the trance, but it was no good.

  Rod was seconds away from becoming whale food.

  Time for plan D.

  Taking off, Drobot flew toward the creature, thanking the Portals that his bionic eyes were shielding him from the whale’s hypnotic stare. Priming his weapon systems, he unleashed a salvo of galvanized bladegears while simultaneously zapping the gigantic beast with his quadratic blasters.

  The whale didn’t even flinch. The bladegears just bounced off, while the lasers fizzled helplessly against the beast’s thick, blubbery hide.

  Drobot tried again, swooping around the tank and throwing everything he had at the stubborn beast. Antimatter charges, axon focus crystals, even bladegears that exploded on impact.

  The whale snarled, glaring up at the flying dragon. At last he had its attention. Drobot glanced at Rod and saw that, although the Storm Titan was still under the whale’s control, he had at least stopped trudging forward.

  Drobot soared over the back of the whale, ready to attack again, when the creature growled and shot steaming hot water from the blowhole on its back. The scalding steam blasted into Drobot, smashing him up against the chamber’s high stone ceiling.

  Winded, Drobot crashed back down to the floor, landing inches away from the whale’s slobbering tongue.

  Chapter Eleven

  Battle!

  From their hiding place on the Drow zeppelin, Flynn and Double Trouble watched as the mighty anchor was dropped and the craft came to a halt a few yards from the ground. Everywhere they looked, cyclopses were peering at the ship. They jostled against each other in the streets, hung from balconies, and peered over roofs.

  Kaos, meanwhile, was enjoying every second of it. Captain Brock lowered the gangplank, and the diabolical Portal Master swaggered down to meet the king and queen. The reeking royals were flanked by a pair of snarling creatures known as Slobbering Mutticuses, huge doglike monsters with serrated teeth and slimy saliva.

  “Welcome, oh powerful one,” the queen simpered, trying to curtsy but failing miserably.

  “Well, it’s good to finally be appreciated,” Kaos blustered, pug nose held in the air. “Not everyone appreciates my greatness.”

  “Oh, we do,” cooed the queen.

  “Do we?” queried the king, looking more than a little bemused by this turn of events.

  “Yes,” confirmed the queen, through clenched, wonky teeth. “We certainly do.”

  “Excellent,” enthused Kaos. “Then you’ll hand over the Land Whale?”

  “Oh, must we immediately get down to business?” the queen smirked. “I’d much rather talk about your Giant Floating Head. I’ve never seen anything quite like it.”

  Kaos went to smooth the hair on his head, forgetting for a moment that he didn’t have any.

  “Yes, well, I suppose I am rather unique.”

  “Thought so!” The grin on the queen’s face reached manic proportions. “Guards! Seize him! I shall add him to my collection!”

  “WHAAAAAAT?” bawled Kaos, as he realized he’d just walked into a trap.

  On board the ship, Double Trouble pulled Flynn down behind a stack of barrels.

  “Good idea, feathers,” Flynn said as they hid from view. “I’ve got a feeling everything’s about to go crazy.”

  The spell-caster was right. The residents of Tempest Towers, who had been so calmly standing by, suddenly attacked. Cyclops Chuckers pelted the airship with rocks, Armored Mohawk Warriors whirled their way up the gangplank like axe-wielding tornados, and the Slobbering Mutticuses leaped forward and pinned Kaos and Glumshanks to the ground.

  “BROCK!” Kaos b
rayed, spluttering as he received a faceful of Mutticus slobber. “What are you waiting for? ATTAAAAAAAACK!”

  “You heard the boss, boys,” Brock yelled. “Le

  t ’em have it!” The Drow moved forward as one, spears and shields raised.

  “Boom shock-a-laka,” Double Trouble insisted, pulling at Flynn’s arm.

  “Say what?” the pilot squeaked, not taking his eyes off the battle that was raging all around.

  The Skylander jabbed forward with his staff. “Booga-booga!”

  Flynn looked up and saw Cali tied to the mast.

  “Hey, this is our chance to rescue Cali!” he exclaimed. “Why didn’t you say . . . oh.” Flynn’s face fell. A Drow Archer had remained on the ship, covering Cali with his bow.

  “So what are we gonna do?” Flynn asked. “Send in the clones? Distract him with a little hocus-pocus?”

  Double Trouble didn’t answer. Instead, he swung his staff around and pointed it at the Drow. Golden beams of crackling Eldritch energy zapped from the staff’s glowing orb, hitting the archer in the chest. The Drow lit up like a firecracker and, a second later, was reduced to a puff of smoke.

  “Or we could just do that,” agreed Flynn as Double Trouble tore across the now empty deck toward Cali.

  Drobot shook his head, still dazed from the blast he’d received from the Land Whale’s blowhole. He knew he had to do something, but wasn’t sure what it was.

  Then, just as the whale’s gigantic, slobbery tongue tried to flip him into its open mouth, Drobot remembered.

  He needed to get away.

  But it was too late. Drobot landed with a splat in the whale’s mouth and was immediately stuck fast to its sticky tongue.

  “Lightning Rod!” Drobot bellowed. “Get me out of here!”

  Rod, still in a trance, stared stupidly at the whale. Someone was calling his name, someone he knew. But that didn’t matter. All he wanted to do was feed the whale, to step into the creature’s mouth and slide down to its wonderfully welcoming stomach.

  “Rod! Please!”

  But . . . wasn’t that Drobot? His friend? And didn’t it sound like Drobot was in danger? Drobot! In danger!

  The thought snapped Rod back to his senses. What had he been thinking? His eyes grew wide as he saw Drobot clambering around on the whale’s tacky tongue.

  “What are you doing in there?” he asked, a lightning harpoon instinctively forming in his clenched fist.

  “Trying not to be swallowed!” came the reply. Rod had never heard Drobot sound so frantic.

  “You dare to eat my friend?” Rod shouted, throwing the bolt into the whale’s face at point-blank range. “One strike and you’re out!”

  The bolt exploded and the beast roared, giving Rod the chance to reach in, grab Drobot’s front claws, and heave as hard as he could.

  With a sickening squelch, Drobot came unstuck, and the two Skylanders rolled away from the thrashing whale.

  “Thank you,” Drobot said, gasping and shaking stinking whale spit from his mechanical wings.

  “Do not thank me yet,” Lightning Rod insisted. “We still need to escape this tank!”

  “Hey, Cali,” Flynn said, popping up behind the tied-up explorer. “Miss me?”

  “You have no idea how much,” Cali said, never taking her eyes off the Drow who, by now, had pretty much driven the cyclopses from the ship. Every single Drow was busy in battle, their hostage forgotten. “ Just untie me, okay?”

  “So you can throw yourself into my arms?” Flynn started, struggling with the ropes. “It’s understandable. I feel the same way, too.”

  Then the pilot frowned.

  “Hmmm. Who knew the Drow were so good at tying knots?”

  Double Trouble shoved Flynn aside. “Booga ooga!”

  A flash of Eldritch energy blasted the rope and it unraveled, landing at Cali’s feet.

  “So, what about that hug?” said Flynn, throwing his arms wide.

  “How about you tell me the next stage of your amazing rescue plan?” Cali shot back.

  “Oh, that.” Flynn put his hands on his hips and puffed out his chest. “It’s simple. We’re just going to, um . . .”

  Cali folded her arms and raised an eyebrow.

  “And then we’re going to, um . . .”

  “Booga? Pssh-booga!” interrupted Double Trouble.

  “Oh, I know,” said Cali. “He hasn’t a clue.”

  “Wait a minute.” Flynn’s eyebrows shot up. “You mean you can understand him?”

  “Of course,” said Cali. “And I thought you could fly anything.”

  “I can!” replied Flynn, indignantly.

  “Anything . . . like a Drow zeppelin for instance?”

  The grin slowly returned to Flynn’s face. Now they were talking.

  Chapter Twelve

  Baiting the Beast

  As the Land Whale writhed around behind them, Lightning Rod made one last attempt to raise the portcullis, but it was hopeless.

  “Wait,” said Drobot, as excitedly as his robotic tones ever got. “Look over there.”

  Rod did as he was told, and saw Pop Fizz trapped in what looked like an oversize stone birdcage on the other side of the corridor. Amazingly, he was still in his beast form. He must have drunk a lot of potion to still be big and furry after all this time.

  “Fizz!” he called over. “You need to get over here and get us out!”

  “No, no, no,” the alchemist jabbered, making a show of attempting to bend the stone bars. “See, see, see?”

  “The cage is made of Cyclopnite,” said Drobot. “He’ll never be able to break out.”

  “And he is too large to slip through the gaps,” Rod noted.

  “Slip through the gaps,” repeated Pop Fizz, excitedly. “Yeah, yeah, yeah. Gaps!”

  As Rod and Drobot looked on in bemusement, Pop Fizz started somersaulting around and around the cage.

  “He’s gone mad,” Drobot said, confused.

  “No, he has not,” boomed Rod, realizing what Pop Fizz was doing. “Use that amazing brain of yours, dragon. The more excited Pop Fizz becomes, the faster he uses up his potion and the sooner . . .”

  “He will return to his normal size,” Drobot finished, smiling.

  Pop Fizz was now tumbling around the cage so fast that he looked like a blur of fur, teeth, and claws. Rod and Drobot cheered him on until . . .

  POP!

  He was back to normal. The potion had completely worn off. The alchemist staggered slightly, still a bit dizzy, before squeezing through the stone bars. It was still a bit tight, but he managed to push himself between them and drop down to the flagstones.

  “Well done, courageous alchemist!” cheered Lightning Rod. “Now throw the lever and release us.”

  Pop Fizz charged across to the tank and pushed the lever, sending the portcullis creaking up into the ceiling.

  They were free!

  Of course, there was still one problem.

  “So, how are we going to get the Land Whale out of this place?” asked Pop Fizz.

  Outside, the battle wasn’t going to plan for the cyclopses. It had started well. They’d had the element of surprise on their side, for one thing. For another, there were an awful lot of them. The only snag was, when it came to battles, Drow were simply better fighters. Cyclops Spinners, for example, whizzed into the fray, axes flashing, but soon got so dizzy that they could hardly stand up. Drow Spearmen, on the other hand, barely even stop for breath when attacking and never once lose their balance. Cyclops Chuckers and Timidclopses, meanwhile, are great at throwing bombs and rolling barrels at their foes, but both are as lily-livered as you can get. Even the Slobbering Mutticuses may have looked fierce, but this time they had picked the wrong Portal Master to pounce on.

  From beneath Mutticus paws, Kaos shrieked, n
ot in pain but in anger.

  “How dare you attack KAOS!” he screamed. “I summon the TERRIBLE TWIRLING DOOMTWISTERS . . . OF DOOOOOOOM!”

  The air around the square seemed to darken as terrifying tornadoes swept in from every corner. One by one, the cyclops warriors were plucked from their feet and pulled helplessly into the swirling maelstroms. In the middle stood Kaos, arms outstretched, cackling at the top of his lungs. With another wave of his hands, the tornadoes vanished, along with the cyclopses they had vacuumed up. Those who had escaped the Doomtwisters simply turned and fled, leaving the square deserted.

  The Cyclops King wanted to run, but couldn’t because a Drow Witch had turned him into a potted plant. A petunia, to be precise. The queen, unfortunately, hadn’t been turned into anything, and looked as hideous as ever. She had, however, been tied to a lamppost by Brock. The green brute had always been proud of his knots, ever since he’d been a member of the Goliath Drow Scouts as a young lad. The Drow Scouts’ motto? Always be prepared . . . to punch anything that moves.

  Looking eminently pleased with himself, Kaos wiped dust from his sleeve and peered evilly at the tied-up tyrant.

  “Now, where were we?” Kaos crowed. “Oh yes, I remember. WHERE IS MY WHALE?”

  The queen glared at Kaos, hatred simmering in all three of her eyes.

  “I think you mean MY whale!” she snarled back. “He’s behind those doors back there.” She indicated the massive stone doors that led into the menagerie. “But they only open when you say the password.”

  “And that password is?”

  “For me to know and you to NEVER find out!”

  Everyone prepared for another outburst, but instead Kaos’s gaze fell on the potted plant by his feet. A potted plant that seemed to be shaking with fright. Kaos chuckled.

  “Glumshanks,” he said softly. “Is that plant who I think it is?”

  “His One-Eyed Majesty,” confirmed the troll.

  In one fluid movement, the Portal Master snatched up the petunia and raised it high above his head.