by Emma Nichols
Rosa smiled. In that moment, she wanted to pull Eva into her arms and hold her tightly, but she refrained, allowing Eva the space to finish with the deadly machine. The noise pierced her thoughts and she headed to the bedroom to shower and change.
Rosa stood under the hot water, enjoying the refreshing feeling of the scented soap on her skin, wiping away the chemical aroma from her busy day. She couldn’t stop the image of Eva; the shorts she wanted to remove from her, the vest she wanted to explore beneath. And yet she also conveyed a sense of openness and innocence that drew Rosa in, in a way that no other lover ever had. The light touch of the fingers tracing down her back caused her to gasp, but the tingling waves shooting down her spine took her attention and she turned instantly into Eva’s arms. Eva’s mouth was on hers before she cleared the water from her eyes, which she allowed to stay closed. The exquisite sensation fired through every cell in her body, and rendered her thoughts to a soup of explicit desire and need. Any concerns drifted with the draining water, washed away in the moment.
Eva pulled away gently and Rosa opened her eyes. Their darkened irises connected, and the intensity burned deeply in Rosa’s sex. ‘I’m sorry,’ Eva said, her voice filled with something Rosa couldn’t define.
Rosa pulled back, a sudden feeling of doubt punching her in the gut. Was Eva about to end their relationship? Anxiety caused her pulse to race, and not in a good way. She reached up and pushed Eva’s hair behind her ear, trying to capture her eyes, which were scanning the floor, allowing the water to trickle off her nose. Rosa’s hands were shaking as she resolved to handle whatever it was Eva was about to throw at her.
‘I’m sorry, I’ve behaved like a jerk,’ Eva admitted, slowly raising her head to face Rosa, noting the depth of sadness in her girlfriend’s eyes. The tears were already making their way down her cheeks and Eva brushed them away with her thumbs. She pulled Rosa into her chest and held her tightly for some time, with no words passing between them and the water gently cascading over their bodies. ‘I need you,’ Eva said, eventually. Rosa tried to back off to give Eva the space to speak, but Eva tugged her closer. ‘Please, stay here. I want to talk to you here. I feel safe. Please hold me while I explain.’ Rosa’s hands moved around Eva’s neck and waist, holding her close, encouraging Eva to rest her head into her neck. Eva’s soft breath on Rosa’s ear made way for the words she needed to share.
*
Lauren stepped out of the aircraft, instantly noticing the light breeze. She shivered, but not because it was cold. Darkness had descended already, but there was still a slight warmth in the Corsican air, that was absent in Paris at this time of year. She walked towards the arrivals lounge feeling the weight of desperation in every step. She spotted Antoine before he caught sight of her, and couldn’t help but notice his uncharacteristically slumped posture and tight-looking features. She almost didn’t recognise him. He looked unexpectedly older. He smiled briefly as he acknowledged her, but his eyes betrayed the fact that his world had been turned upside down in the last twenty-four hours. At least he wasn’t under arrest Lauren thought, as she approached him with her arms outstretched.
‘Lauren. You look very well. Paris must be suiting you,’ he said, his tone still carrying a gentle sing-song resonance, even though his energy seemed flat; clearly challenged by the recent change in circumstances. She pulled him into her arms, drawing a deep sigh from him, before he withdrew and reached for her hand luggage.
‘How are you?’ she asked, knowing the answer, as they walked towards the car park and climbed into the Outlander. Antoine fired up the car and started to drive.
‘Fine,’ he responded with his attention on the road, but he wasn’t, not really.
‘Chico?’
‘He’s fine… coping,’ he added, with a tilt of his head as the impact on their relationship flashed across his mind. ‘I’ve been asked to go in on Monday to assist them with their enquiries,’ he said, his tone sombre. ‘Valerie was released an hour ago, but they are still questioning Henri. She should be arriving home shortly,’ he added.
Lauren puffed out a breath. ‘I don’t understand how this has come about,’ she said.
‘It’s a vendetta.’
Lauren took her eyes off the road and turned to face Antoine as he spoke. Her attention fixed on the slight twitch in his right cheek just below his eye. ‘Vendetta?’ she quizzed.
Antoine shrugged as if to say, what else? He turned to face her briefly, before turning his eyes back to the road, as he started to speak. ‘I was with Petru the night before he took his own life. We had a candlelit supper together, drank wine and talked… almost until dawn. He didn’t want to go to bed that night, probably because he knew it would be his last.’ He shrugged at his conclusion. ‘He didn’t share that with me of course. We had talked about going somewhere, so he could do it legally, but I think he’d played us all along with that line, so we didn’t look too closely. So he could execute his plan without us really being aware of it. Henri and Valerie knew he wanted control of the end; we all did.’ He smirked. ‘Like he wanted control of everything, eh?’ He turned again to face Lauren, a warm smile on his face. Lauren’s face twitched in response.
‘Take me to the police station please. I need to speak to Henri.’
Antoine nodded, and drove.
*
Lauren stood at the desk, waiting, patiently. The duty officer had been less than impressed with her request to speak to Henri, but she had positioned herself as his lawyer and through a fine display of seduction and intellect managed to get him to agree to a brief visit. Standing, still waiting, she felt like a criminal about to be charged, and that wasn’t a pleasant feeling.
‘Follow me please.’ The young male officer, with his highly pressed uniform and military appearance opened the door into a short corridor, off which were a number of interview rooms. He stopped at room number 3 and opened the door for Lauren to enter. Lauren glanced around the room briefly, spotting another officer sat in the corner of the room and Henri who was sitting at a seat behind a metal table that had no need to be bolted to the floor.
‘Lauren.’ His voice lacked its jovial resonance, and his expression revealed the tension in his mind. He looked older… and very worried.
‘Hi Henri.’ Lauren’s compassionate tone contrasted her body’s sense of urgency as she rushed to take the seat opposite him, nodding briefly towards the two officers in tow. Both left the room. She looked directly into Henri’s eyes. He couldn’t hold her gaze and dropped his head before he started to speak.
‘Many years ago, I was working in London,’ he started. ‘I had a cancer patient. Well, she… Karen White was her name, and she wanted to end her own life. She was only thirty-five years old, with three children under ten years of age. She couldn’t stand the thought of them seeing her dying. She asked me to help her. I was younger, full of idealism… the idea of personal choice… euthanasia, blah, blah.’ His tone bordered on cynicism at his own, naïve, ideological outlook back then. ‘Anyway, it’s a long story but, thankfully, when her case went to court I was acquitted.’ Lauren listened. ‘I didn’t help Petru,’ he added, his eyes meeting Lauren’s with certainty. Lauren nodded.
‘Go on,’ she said.
‘I don’t know anything else, but the police seem to be linking my past with this current situation,’ he said, raising his shoulders, and letting them drop. He already looked defeated. ‘They have a statement from someone.’
Lauren winced, and her chest constricted, but she tried not to show her concern regarding the potential severity of the situation. ‘Okay. Well there’s nothing much we can do right now. I’ll see what I can find out,’ she said, with as reassuring a smile as she could muster.
‘Thank you Lauren,’ Henri’s eyes tried to reflect his gratitude, but what came across more convincingly was his deepest fear. Lauren nodded, and the door opened as she rose from the table. She glanced at the two officers re-entering the room, and nodded her head to confirm that she had fin
ished.
‘Try not to worry,’ she said, looking back over her shoulder briefly before walking towards the door. The old doctor smiled weakly and muttered something inaudible.
‘Right, let’s go home,’ she said as she stepped into the car and slammed the door shut. Antoine didn’t need to ask how it went.
5.
‘Well good evening ladies.’ The chirpy redhead behind the bar greeted Eva and Rosa with a beaming smile. ‘Sancerre?’ she asked, making a move to serve the drinks before the two women confirmed their order.
Rosa pulled Eva into her side. The arm around her waist wasn’t a possessive gesture in any way; it simply reflected the closeness she felt following their earlier conversation in the shower. And whilst they hadn’t addressed the topic of Eva’s nightmares, they had at least talked about the fact that Rowena had decided to retire and recruit a new business manager. It was a start, and Rosa was well aware that this process for Eva might be about taking small steps. Eva was a closed book, so any discussion was a bonus. She slipped her fingers down the inside of Eva’s hip bone, making her jump reflexively. ‘Thanks Ali,’ she responded belatedly, with a light laugh as Eva squirmed at her touch.
‘You guys seem in good form tonight. What’s the occasion?’ Ali asked as she poured.
‘No occasion,’ Eva responded quickly, smiling through her eyes, releasing herself from Rosa’s exploring fingers. She reached into her jeans pocket and pulled out a twenty-euro note, handing it over as Ali placed the large glasses of wine on the bar. Eva held up her hand to the redhead as she took the money.
‘Thanks,’ Ali said, ringing the till and placing the change into a jar on the side.
Both women picked up their wine, turned to face each other, and sipped simultaneously, their eyes locking over the rim of the glass. Eva felt the sudden rush of heat dive south and settle low, below her gut. Rosa’s cheeks came alive, as if she had witnessed the energetic journey with her own eyes. ‘Cheers’ she said, holding up her glass. Eva clinked the offered glass, her eyes never leaving Rosa’s, the depth of her gaze turning Rosa’s stomach inside out.
‘Hello you two.’ The voice came from behind Eva, but there was no mistaking the tone, or its provenance. Eva stiffened, the arousal of moments ago deserting her instantly, leaving behind a gaping hole and a disconcerted feeling in its wake. If Rosa noticed the change, she didn’t let on.
‘Hi.’ Rosa’s eyes dropped from Eva as she stepped in and hugged both approaching women briefly, before moving away from the bar.
‘Hi,’ Eva responded, reeling at the intrusion. There was no doubting the more reticent response to her presence from the anaesthetist, but her partner, Angie, stepped up and pulled Eva into a generous hug.
‘Ignore her,’ Angie whispered into her ear. ‘She’s feeling grumpy.’
Eva’s eyebrows raised just a touch, before she turned and followed Rosa, who had spotted a vacant table and was on a mission to claim it before someone else did. Eva didn’t believe Angie, but then truth be told, she didn’t much care what Dee thought either. What she liked even less was the feeling she had in her gut around the woman. A feeling that told her she was both judged negatively, and being watched. It reminded her of the feeling she had around Carine. But, the feeling around Carine was a bit more complex and harder to define. Dee hated her and made no bones about it. She swallowed hard already wanting to go home. She felt on the edge of fucking up, and she knew that if she did someone would be gunning for her, someone by the name of Dee Prongue. She took a long swig of the smooth wine before placing her glass on the table and sliding into the seat on the inside of Rosa, facing Dee. It couldn’t get any worse, could it? She focused her attention on Angie, unwilling to make eye contact with the protective anaesthetist. Rosa’s hand was warm against her own which was now clammy.
‘You okay?’ Rosa asked with a look of concern.
‘Sure,’ Eva responded, trying to hide her discomfort, but the shutters were already up and they both knew it. Eva squeezed Rosa’s hand before releasing it and reached for her glass, downing its contents. It was going to be a long night, she thought.
*
‘I need the bathroom.’ They had been sitting for a couple of hours, and Eva needed some space from the medical conversation that had ensued. Angie seemed quite up on their ‘doctor-speak’, but she and Rosa had never really had deep discussions about their work. Rosa eased out of the bench seat allowing Eva out, and teased her with her body as Eva pressed up close to pass by. Eva planted a chaste kiss on her lips, but her smile lacked any real depth. Rosa’s worried look didn’t go unnoticed by Dee as she seated herself again.
‘What did I miss?’ Rosa asked, trying to divert Dee’s attention back to the chat.
Eva made her way across the bar to the ladies’ room. Being away from the table had eased the feeling of pressure that had been steadily building in her chest. There were a couple of faces she recognised from previous visits and she nodded, acknowledging a familiar couple, but didn’t venture to speak to them. The toilets were occupied, nothing new there, so she stood waiting, her attention suddenly directed to the text that had just appeared on her phone.
Hey, Emilie wants to see her aunty x
Eva smiled at the attached image of Emilie’s face covered in food. The warm feeling that enveloped her immediately softened the tension in her neck. She studied the picture. Emilie looked the spitting image of Lauren. She wondered what it would be like; loving someone so much that you wanted to create a life together. She wondered briefly if Rosa would ever be that person to her. She had never thought about having children and an impression of the idea of her holding a baby caused a shiver to pass down her spine. She rubbed at her shoulders and tried to release a breath through the tension in her chest.
Hey, sometime soon x
She needed to catch up with Anna, having neglected her over the past months in favour of spending time with Rosa. She promised herself to visit them soon. Maybe Rosa and she could go together. The clicking sound drew her out of her thoughts as a woman exited one of the cubicles. She jumped into the space before the toilet door automatically closed, flicked the lock, pulled the lid down and sat on the toilet seat. She would pee in a minute. She flicked through Facebook and smiled at the Friday night antics that had already been posted. She jumped at the pounding on the door, unsure of how long she had been browsing.
‘You coming out of there tonight?’ an unfamiliar, deep voice barked.
Fucking impatient. She jumped up, pocketed her phone, flicked open the door and walked to the washbasin. She hadn’t even peed and now she felt like she might need one soon, but she couldn’t face getting back into a queue of people, for whom she had been the subject of an eviction. Her cheeks burned, and she coughed to clear her throat as she exited the bathroom and searched out the bar. She would get another round of drinks in.
Still pondering the idea of seeing Anna sometime, she placed the drinks on the table. ‘Here goes.’ She smiled warmly at the three quizzical faces, aware of the burning sensation caused by the simple sight of Rosa, and her embarrassment at the length of time she had been away from the table.
Rosa stood again to allow Eva to sit. ‘Thanks for the drinks,’ she whispered into Eva’s ear as she passed, biting down on her earlobe. The seductive move hit the spot instantly and Eva’s already flushed look darkened as goose bumps travelled down her back. She wanted out of the bar.
‘Cute,’ Angie commented, her doe eyes switching between Rosa and Eva, oblivious to Dee’s dubious glare.
‘Cheers,’ Dee responded, reaching for the drinks, and placing them in front of their owners. She held up her beer in a toasting gesture, before taking a swig from the bottle.
Eva sat and leaned into Rosa. ‘What did I miss?’ she asked, repeating Rosa’s earlier statement, not really needing an answer. ‘I want to take you to bed,’ she whispered into Rosa’s ear, her breath teasing where it touched. ‘Let’s finish this and go?’ She pulled away, instantly missing
Rosa’s scent. The fire in Rosa’s eyes lingered in Eva’s sex. She picked up her drink and took a long steady gulp.
Rosa groaned under her breath and sipped at her wine. She needed the throbbing sensation pulsing through her clit satiated, and that wasn’t going to happen sitting opposite her best friend drinking wine. ‘Right, I need to make a move, I’ve got work to catch up on,’ she lied. The three women’s smiles played out like a Mexican wave at a rugby match. ‘What?’ She couldn’t help the grin taking over her face as she stood, pulling Eva up with her. ‘Much as I love you guys, I’ve got better things to be doing,’ she added. ‘And… for the record… I do have work to do, but I might leave that until tomorrow.’ She pointed at Dee as if to say, don’t start. Dee grabbed the pokey finger and pulled herself up to stand, enjoying the tease. ‘Enjoy your evening,’ Rosa said, grabbing Eva’s hand.
‘Sweet dreams,’ Dee said, sarcastically. Rosa frowned at her, and walked Eva through the bar to the exit. Dee was shaking her head and her face had contorted, reflecting her inner turmoil with her friend’s relationship.
‘You worry too much.’ Angie said, wiping her thumb tenderly across the frown lines on Dee’s forehead. She could feel the tension in her lover and her touch did nothing to release it.
‘Maybe,’ was all Dee could say, lost in thought. She flicked her attention back to her girlfriend and smiled. ‘Right, home or party?’ she asked.
Angie eyed her momentarily. ‘Party,’ she said with a slightly wicked smile.
*
Eva hopped from foot to foot as Rosa tapped in the key combination to the gated entrance and waited for a space wide enough to pass through. The winter chill had descended quickly as the night had progressed and she was shivering. But her trembling had as much to do with the promise, as it did the reality of the cold, damp, weather. She wanted to slow things down though. She took Rosa’s hand as they walked the short distance to what had quickly become their front door. As Rosa reached to put the key in the lock, Eva turned her around and stopped her.
