by Emma Nichols
‘Mother…’ Lauren paused. Valerie looked up from the armchair. Henri looked over his newspaper, from his place on the couch. He had been released, pending further investigation and had been requested not to travel until further enquires had been made. ‘Do you think Phillipe could have anything to do with this?’ Lauren asked.
Valerie’s features drained. Her brother’s name hadn’t been raised in as many years as she had been married, and even before. The bile rose in her throat and she swallowed hard to prevent herself from choking. ‘Why?’ The question was reflective. ‘Why would he be involved?’ she asked, into the room.
‘I don’t know.’ Lauren pondered. She didn’t know, but she couldn’t think of any of their friends or neighbours who might have done such a thing. But like her mother, she couldn’t think why Phillipe would do something like this either. ‘Did he know?’ The question was directed towards her mother.
‘Did who know what?’ Valerie asked, somewhat confused.
‘Did Phillipe know about dad and Antoine?’ Lauren asked, her intonation deliberate.
Valerie’s eyes lowered to her husband. ‘What has that got to do with Henri and me?’ she asked.
‘Maybe this is to do with getting back at you…’ Lauren said, following the train of thought Antoine had suggested. ‘Did he know dad was unwell?’
‘Not that I’m aware,’ Valerie responded, pondering the hypothesis and dismissing it instantly. ‘But then I wouldn’t know. I haven’t spoken to Phillipe since before Petru and I married.’ She paused, in deep consideration. ‘He didn’t want me to marry Petru,’ she said, looking straight at Lauren.
‘Why?’
‘I don’t rightly know. Money. I always thought it was about money,’ she said.
Lauren raised her eyebrows. ‘Maybe,’ she said, not altogether convinced.
*
Eva struggled her way through the front door, trying hard not to crush the large bouquet of fragrant flowers that had cost her a fortune. She wasn’t used to buying women flowers, but reasoned that she needed to pull out all the stops after the way the morning had begun. Fighting exhaustion had been made easier with the boozy lunch, but now she was beginning to feel more than a bit jaded. She hadn’t expected Rosa to be in bed already. It was only 8.30. She pondered the idea of surprising her versus letting her sleep, and couldn’t decide what to do for the better. She flicked on the hall light; back heeled the door to close, and stepped into the kitchen to offload the flowers. She wandered through to the dining room. The place was in darkness. Rosa hadn’t texted her all day, which wasn’t unusual if she were busy with surgery, but she would normally have heard from her by late evening. Eva’s enthusiasm was instantly dampened by the sight of a piece of paper on the dining room table. She picked it up tentatively, unfolded it, and read the hand-written note.
I’m struggling at work, so I’m staying at Dee’s for a couple of nights. We need to talk, but firstly I need to take a break from you. I’m not sure how we move forward Eva. I love you, but I can’t keep doing this, and I can’t deal with us, and my schedule at the moment. Sorry, I’m off on Friday so we can chat then. Rosa x
Eva slumped into the couch, staring at the flickering note in her hand. Her eyes glassed over. The anxiety in her gut was warring with her need for sleep, and she felt utterly drained and helpless. She picked up her phone and tapped on the keys before making her way to the spare bedroom.
I’m sorry, please come home Rosa x
She could only hope that Rosa would give her another chance.
10.
Anna could see Lauren’s distinctive, elegant frame as she approached the airport building. The wave of excitement lighting up her nervous system caused her to instantly blush, giving away her deepest thoughts to anyone who might be looking. She had missed her lover over the last few days, and the sense of reassurance and comfort of being able to touch her again served to enhance the fire coursing through her body as she approached the arrivals hall, with Emilie perched in one arm, the other hand carrying a small holdall.
Lauren’s face radiated a mix of pure love and sheer relief. She moved swiftly towards Anna and Emilie and bundled them both into a hug, careful not to crush her smiling daughter. ‘Am I pleased to see you,’ she said, kissing the top of Emilie’s head, and placing a lingering kiss on Anna’s lips.
‘Me too,’ Anna responded as she pulled back from the kiss, her pupils dilated, her body responding to Lauren’s touch.
‘I’ve arranged for us to stay in Ajaccio for a couple of nights, with Carla and Francesca. I hope you don’t mind. I thought of it last minute and called them on the off-chance. I think mum and Henri could do with a bit of time to themselves.’ She was babbling, and Anna silenced her with a kiss.
‘Perfect. How is everyone?’ she asked, with concern.
‘They’re doing okay. At least no one’s been arrested…yet,’ she added, with a wry smile. She let out a deep breath.
‘You look like you could do with a massage,’ Anna said, watching Lauren trying to stretch out the tension in her shoulders. Lauren smirked; Anna slapped her on the shoulder. ‘Later… if you’re lucky,’ she said, with a wink and a broad grin.
Ellie watched with muted fascination at the displays of affection, her tiny hand reaching up, finding Lauren’s face, and slowly beginning to squeeze.
‘Ouch,’ Lauren said, jumping back and rubbing at the sore point, teasing her daughter with a tickle. ‘So, was mummy not giving you enough attention,’ she said, lifting her out of Anna’s arms and placing a kiss on her cheek. ‘Come on. Let’s get into town and get this little tot settled.’ She looked back to Emilie, ‘So mummy can get herself a massage, eh?’ she said, nodding at a disinterested Emilie, who was already seeking Anna’s arms. ‘Right, I can see who’s the favourite here today,’ she said, trying hard not to be offended, though feeling the slight jab in her chest at the speedy rejection.
‘Come on,’ Anna said, making a move towards baggage reclaim. ‘Before mummy gets jealous,’ she added, nudging Lauren as she picked the holdall off the floor.
Lauren lifted the large red case as it moved around the belt, and wheeled it to the car park.
*
‘Hey stranger,’ Carla greeted Lauren with a grin. ‘Anna, hi.’ She leaned in and air-kissed her cheek. ‘And how’s our little Ems then?’ she asked, smiling inanely at the dark, curly-haired infant.
‘We’re all good,’ Lauren responded, greeting Francesca as she approached.
‘Come on in.’ Carla turned back into the house and they all followed. ‘I’m guessing you’ll want to get Ems settled first,’ she said. ‘We’ve set up a travel cot in your room. Assumed you’d rather have her in with you.’
‘Thanks,’ Anna said, as Carla showed them to their room and left them to settle.
‘See you downstairs when you’re ready,’ she said, closing the door behind her. Lauren and Anna both breathed out a deep sigh, as if a whirlwind had just ceased spinning, and calmness had descended.
‘Shower?’ Lauren asked.
‘Are you propositioning me?’ Anna asked, with a seductive grin. They both looked at their daughter who was wriggling and gurgling on the king size bed. ‘Let me get her bottle sorted first.’
Lauren pulled Anna into her arms. Something about the way she held Anna felt different. She felt closer than she had ever felt, and whilst that came with a touch of anxiety, the good feelings outweighed the bad. She cupped Anna’s cheeks, rubbed her thumbs tenderly across the soft skin, studying Anna’s steel-blue eyes, deliberately. When their lips connected, the fire in Lauren’s belly sparked violently. She needed Anna, tonight. Anna’s response told her that the feeling was mutual.
*
‘So, what’s happening in your world?’ Carla asked, handing Lauren a glass of wine.
Lauren and Anna’s eyes locked.
‘Not another baby?’ Carla asked, too enthusiastically for Lauren’s liking.
‘Hell no.’ Anna glared at Lauren’
s dismissal of the possibility. ‘I didn’t mean that as it sounded,’ she said, trying to backtrack. Anna chuckled.
Lauren’s features shifted. ‘What’s happened?’ Carla asked, feeling the slight tension, the two women shared.
Lauren explained about the allegation.
‘Fuck, Lou. What are you going to do?’
‘I need to find out the truth,’ Lauren said.
Francesca glanced between Lauren and Carla. ‘I have a friend who might be able to help,’ she offered. ‘She’s police, she might be able to find out something.’
‘We’ve got nothing to lose,’ Lauren stated. ‘Needs to happen quickly though.’ Her features tightened.
Francesca shrugged. ‘I can’t promise anything, but I’ll ask her.’ Lauren nodded in appreciation and Anna squeezed her hand, aware of the impact the allegation was having on her. They would welcome any help they could get right now.
‘Anyway, something smells good,’ Lauren said, to try to change the topic.
‘Yes, let’s eat. I’m sure you need your sleep these days,’ Carla said, directing her comment towards Anna.
Anna smiled. ‘Yes,’ she said, but her eyes were firmly fixed on Lauren and sleep was a long way from her mind.
*
‘She’ll be fine,’ Lauren whispered, as she tiptoed into the room, with Anna running her index finger down her spine, and breathing into the back of her neck. She slowly turned Anna round to face her, closing the door softly behind them. But for the low baby-light in the corner of the room nearest Emilie, the room was pitch black. Lauren’s hand moved tentatively, her fingers intertwining with Anna’s as she studied her intently, as if for the first time of seeing. The adrenaline pumping through her veins was making it hard for her to make smooth movements with her fingers. The goose bumps were still standing, still tingling from Anna’s earlier touch.
Anna couldn’t see the depth of fire in Lauren’s eyes, yet for such a delicate touch the intensity of their connection rendered her speechless, and wanting. She needed her, and at the same time there was something passing between them now that was so completely different from anything they had experienced together. Something so exquisite it caused her stomach to knot, whilst her heart pounded through her chest, as she reached out to touch Lauren across the short space separating their two bodies. Anna’s heart stopped as Lauren raised her hand to delicately trace the fine lines around her eyes, down her to her jaw; tenderly brushing her thumb across her soft, swollen, lips.
Lauren stared in awe, allowing her fingers to explore every feature of the woman she loved, in slow motion. Her heart ached with the depth of feeling she held for the mother of her child. The intensity burned so fiercely she didn’t know if she could sustain it. She didn’t know how she could give herself so entirely to Anna, aware that at some point in time she would have to cope with the pain of loss, again. The reality cut so deeply that she knew it was already too late. She was so in love with Anna, and there was no way back. Her eyes were locked onto Anna’s as she closed the space between them. And as their lips made the slightest contact, she became acutely aware that Anna too was shaking.
Anna received the tender touch of Lauren’s mouth, feeling her heart swell with passion, and her focus narrowed. This woman, her lover, her friend, the mother of their daughter, was hers completely. The enormity of the realisation seemed to heighten her sensitivity to Lauren’s lips on hers. She bathed luxuriously in the flow of excitement that was tripping through her body, enlivening every cell in its wake.
Lauren moved back to create a short space between them. Taking one button at a time she flipped Anna’s shirt open. Her eyes penetrated Anna’s as she undressed her. She studied every detail of Anna’s reaction, as her fingers undid the bra supporting her still heavy breasts. Delicately, she ran her thumbs across the nipples cupping the beautiful bosom that had given life to their baby, sensing the small bumps rising, and the hitching of Anna’s breath.
Anna bit down on her lower lip in response to the sensations coursing through her body, and a low groan, barely audible, escaped her. Lauren closed the space between them and claimed Anna’s mouth with such tenderness the sensitivity was both excruciating and wonderful at the same time. Anna jolted. The simple reaction to every nerve ending that was beginning to fire with desire, driving her body to a wonderfully exotic place. She didn’t know how much longer she could take the intensity, but she didn’t want it to end.
Anna began to move her hands with a sense of urgency, pulling ferociously at Lauren’s clothes, peeling them off within seconds. The sensation of Lauren’s breasts pressing firmly against hers caused her to shudder and a bolt of lightning shot down her body. In the silence between them, they had spoken to each other at the deepest level of their being. Anna continued to prise off Lauren’s jeans and her own until they stood together naked. Exposed, yet absent of vulnerability. Time stopped, in the stillness.
Lauren guided Anna gently backwards until her legs touched the bed. Slowly she lowered her onto the soft mattress, moving her into the middle of the large bed. Exactly where she wanted her. Her fingers traced the centre-line down Anna’s body until she reached the hot wet space between her legs. The scent was intoxicating, drawing her down, and she breathed her in as her kisses followed the path down her body. Reaching the source of her temptation, she flipped over the top of Anna to expose her own shaved sex to Anna’s waiting mouth.
Anna’s tongue was on Lauren instantly, working frantically to satiate her own craving. Like a starved wild animal, raw, base, she consumed her lover’s gift. It wasn’t enough. It would never be enough.
Lauren buckled under the force of the sparks that fired through her body, zapping her of her strength. She righted herself and took Anna in her mouth, teasing her clit with her tongue before delving into her: devouring her. As Anna penetrated her with her tongue in return, Lauren’s silent screams of ecstasy played out through the earthquake that rippled through her body. The aftershocks continued as Lauren took Anna to her own orgasm; both women collapsing, their heart’s continuing to beat in unison through the thin layer of skin that separated them.
Moving around to face Anna, Lauren kissed her, tenderly at first, savouring the taste of her merging with her own scent on Anna’s lips. Then more urgently as a wave of desire rose again, needing instant gratification. Her hands moved swiftly, and she entered Anna with three fingers, thrusting deeply, and rhythmically.
Anna tried to reach out, to find Lauren’s wet heat, but the rising orgasm that now controlled every synapse in her body, stopped her attaining her target, instead drawing her into her inner world of passion and love. In that moment she gave herself completely, savouring every sensation. Lauren took her to a place she had never been before. When she came this time, she couldn’t prevent the tears that flowed. She grabbed Lauren as if her life depended on it and pulled her into her chest, holding her firmly until the waves had died down.
Lauren wiped away the tears, kissed Anna’s cheeks softly, kissed her neck, and then found her lips with such gentleness that Anna bucked again beneath her. Anna coaxed Lauren to sit astride her, entering her with ease. She would never tire of this feeling. The soft, wet, silky-smooth, sensation on her fingers, enticing them to dance in tune with her lover, until Lauren was spent.
11.
Eva paced up and down as she waited. Rosa had said she would be home just after 9am and it was already 9.20. The tension was turning her stomach inside out. She’d been over the situation again and again since the note, and whilst she accepted she was drinking too much, she still couldn’t see why Rosa had felt the need to stay away from her. That hurt, a lot. She jumped to attention at the sound of a key turning in the lock. She couldn’t stop the sinking feeling in her stomach, or the weakness in her legs. The expression on Rosa’s face nearly floored her, and it took all her strength to take the couple of paces and reach out a hand. She hadn’t noticed the dark rings under her lover’s eyes before. Even when they had first met, and R
osa had been struggling with the death of a young child patient, she didn’t look as pained as she did right now. A swathe of emotion gripped Eva and she threw her arms around the almost lifeless body of her girlfriend.
‘Can we talk?’ Rosa asked. The voice was familiar, but the tone was beginning to terrify Eva as she became acutely aware that her time with this woman was most likely to come to an end. She hadn’t realised before this moment, the impact that reality would have on her. The worst.
‘I’m sorry. Yes.’ The words came out shakily and she backed off quickly, trying to regain her composure, and giving Rosa the space to lead the next step in the conversation.
‘Let’s go and sit down. It’s been a long week.’
‘Sure.’ Eva scuttled towards the living room and stood by the couch until Rosa had chosen her seat. They sat at the same time, leaving a short distance between them on the couch.
‘I’ve been thinking,’ Rosa started.
Eva held her hands up. ‘Please. Please don’t kick me out. I’m sorry. I’ll do whatever you want. I’ll stop drinking… I’ll…’
Rosa’s mouth twitched slightly. She appreciated the gesture. ‘I’ve been thinking about why I react so badly to your drinking,’ she said. ‘I’ve asked myself time and time again whether I’m over-reacting… because I care, and I can’t just turn that caring off. Sometimes, I wish I could, but I can’t.’
Eva lowered her gaze and closed her eyes, knowing the words that were coming next, and hating herself for causing this pain. The burning behind her eyes was reaching an intolerable level and silent tears found their way down her cheeks.
