Even When It's Wrong

by Nicole Jackson

  “Yeah, he’s obviously breaking bread.” Nerie nodded. “But does that translate into him being faithful? Or is it that you don’t care, as long as he takes care of you?”

  “The money aint shit without his loyalty,” I held.

  “If you say so,” she laughed. “I wouldn’t be surprised if that nigga was posted up with a bitch, right now.”

  “Why you gotta be so damn negative?” Cavalli wanted to know.

  “I’m not,” Nerie denied. “I just fuck with Mya, so I want her to stay woke. These niggas today aint about shit. Trust me. I had to learn the hard way.”

  “Whatever,” I sighed, while deciding to stand up. Propping my elbows on the railing, I peered around.

  “I swear I never seen a pregnant bitch that stays naked like you,” Jayde teased, causing me to giggle.

  I was a little over four months, and now had a small round belly. This was evident, especially since I hardly wore anything beyond little shorts and sports bras while at home. That day was no exception. I wore black Adidas shorts with a sports bra comfortably. Hell, after living with so many restrictions at Meeka’s, I took the opportunity to bust free whenever permitted.

  “It’s hot out here,” I snickered, knowing that my excuse was bullshit.

  “That hoe done just got used to being half-naked to make for easy access,” Cavalli alleged.

  “You always lying on me, girl,” I kidded, before I heard the front door slam shut. “The fuck?” I held my chest, knowing that I wasn’t expecting anyone, and I’d personally locked the door.

  Cavalli’s eyes widened. “Who is that?” she whispered.

  “I don’t know,” I whispered as well. Slowly, I twisted around, and stepped inside.

  “The fuck you sneaking in here for?!” Omari shouted, scaring the shit out of me.

  “Ahhh!” I screamed.

  He chuckled. “With ya scary ass.”

  “Boy, don’t do that! You damn near gave me a heart attack!”

  “It’ll be alright,” he smiled. I approached him, as he squinted his eyes. “Who you got out there, besides Cavalli’s worrisome ass?”

  “Oh,” I glanced over my shoulder. “That’s Jayde and Nerie.”

  He looked me up and down. “You just living it up with ya whole lil’ crew, huh?”

  I shrugged. “Nothing else to do.”

  “Is that right?” he grabbed my hand. “That’s what you been up to?” he smoothly guided me to our bedroom.

  “Yeah, pretty much,” I answered, as we sat on the bed.

  He leaned forward, grazing his lips against mine. “You missed me?”

  I grinned. “More than you know.”

  I closed my eyes, as he slid his tongue into my mouth. He seductively sucked my tongue, causing my clit to thump. “Okay,” he pulled away. “I gotta roll up.”

  “Okay,” I attempted to stand, but he grabbed me.

  “Where you going?”

  “Back out on the balcony.”

  He gazed into my eyes. “You’on wanna talk to me?”

  My heart skipped a beat, thinking that nothing in the world sounded sexier to me.

  Omari

  “Boy, you know that I always wanna talk to you. Tell me what’s on your mind,” Mya urged, giving me that comforting smile.

  For a moment, I sat there studying her. She looked like a baby with her long hair straightened with a part down the middle, and the soft baby hairs framing her face. Then as I panned down to her stomach, my heart fluttered. There she was carrying my baby, and I still sometimes had to ask myself if this shit was real. Oddly, I didn’t feel pressure or fear. It all just gave my life a purpose, which was something I don’t think I had before. And coming home to her was totally different from what I’d expected. I’d associated commitment with stress, and drama. But it provided a peace I’d never felt before. So now, going into the outside world to hustle or do shows felt like a task, and I always looked forward to coming back home to my safe haven, which was her.

  Reaching over I grabbed my bag of Kush off the dresser, along with the Swisha Sweets. Using a sheet of paper, and my pocket knife, I began breaking down the blunt. “How them grades looking? You turned in that homework packet your teachers sent?” I asked, getting the important shit out of the way.

  “Yep,” she replied, while casually swinging her legs.

  “What my lil’ nigga been doing?” I palmed her belly.

  She giggled, placing her hand over mine. “This could very well be a she, but the baby’s been cool. I haven’t been as sick, lately.”

  “That’s good.” I rubbed her stomach. Leaning over, I spoke directly to her belly. “Say, Junior, tell ya mama that she aint getting a girl this time. We got this on lock. It’s just the natural order of how its gonna go. You’ll come before your sister, and whup any nigga’s ass who tries to holler.”

  Mya giggled uncontrollably. “You are so fucking silly.”

  “So.” I kissed her belly, before sitting upright.

  “Mari,” she spoke my name softly. “Why are you back two days early?”

  “Cause,” I gulped. “I got a call, and it just put me in the worst mood. So, I decided to come home…to some love, man.”

  She grimaced. “Who called you?”

  I exhaled loudly. “My mama.”

  “Really?” her mouth formed an O. “What happened? What did she say?”

  I drug my palm across my mouth. “First, she started off asking how life was going for me. So, I told her about you, the baby, and my music. Then she mentioned that she’d seen me on TV. That had me feeling some type of way, because now I’m feeling like the call probably didn’t come from a sincere place. Then she confirmed my suspicions by asking me to help her pay her light bill. Her nigga supposedly just lost his job, and I guess that it was supposed to be my muthafuckin problem.”

  “Wow. After all this time without hearing from her, are you serious?”

  “Hell, yeah. She asked for a thousand fucking dollars.”

  “A thousand dollars? Where she living? A fucking warehouse?”

  “Exactly.”

  “So, what did you do?”

  I sucked my teeth. “Shit, I started to hang up in her face, but I ended up telling her to go to Walmart to pick up a wire.”

  “You sent her a whole rack?”

  “Hell, nah.”

  “Then what did you send?”

  I shook my head. “Not a damn thing. I had her ass make a blank trip, and then stopped answering my phone.”

  “What?” she cracked a smile, before kneeling over with laughter. “Boy, you are so fucking messy. And I swear I love it.”

  “Yeah, I know,” I lightly snickered, before a feel of sadness struck me.

  Unexpectedly, Mya leaned in, kissing my cheek. “That’s really messed up that she didn’t bother to call before she needed something. I hate that for you, and I understand how that feels like nobody else. Still, I don’t know what I can do to make you feel better about it. All I can do is tell you that how our mamas did us was fucked up, but we can’t let that define who we are. We can just accept things for what they are, and recognize that as long as we have each other, nobody else is necessary. Not even our mamas. Cause on my life, I love you, and I’ll never leave your side. No matter what. I promise to God.”

  I nodded, throwing an arm around her shoulder. “And that’s why you my girl.”

  She rested her head on my shoulder. “I know. I know.”

  Chapter 26

  Mya

  “Bitch, you done got too bougie,” Nerie claimed, before biting into a slice of pizza.

  I shrugged, because I didn’t care what she said. As hungry as I was, I didn’t want shit out of the school’s cafeteria. Everybody at the table was eating, and I could barely tolerate the smells of their food. Everything was nasty, so I was snacking on a bag of honey barbeque chips, until I could get to some real food.

  “I can’t believe you even showed up today,” Jayde admitted. “You know you
only show your face every few weeks. Ion know what you giving them teachers, because your ass should be off their roster.”

  I smirked. “You mad or nah?”

  “Whatever.” Jayde playfully rolled her eyes. But I knew that she was just fucking with me. Truthfully, she was my girl, and we had been extra cool since we’d both decided to end our friendship with Nisha. Of course, I’d done it because of her low-key hate, and Jayde had cut ties because she found out that Nisha was texting a boy she called herself talking to. Still, however it went, I fucked with her.

  It was the middle of the week, and I’d shown up to get my take-home work. Besides, I couldn’t look like a complete dropout, if I still wanted to walk across the stage at the end of the year. Honestly, school was the last thing on my mind, but I refused to get that far and say fuck it. At the very least, I was going to graduate, and then figure out things from there. The old plans I once had were completely thrown out of the window. College was something I still wanted to conquer, but just not immediately. I wanted to get adjusted to having a baby, before diving headfirst into school, especially if I didn’t have to. Then again, it could’ve been the fact that the baby kept me incredibly sleepy, so I couldn’t see handling multiple things, right then.

  “Omari’s gonna have to go straight to Lotus’ when he picks me up. I want some hot boiled shrimp like a muthafucka.” I rubbed my belly, before feeling my baby kick.

  “Here comes that hating hoe,” Jayde whispered, while lightly elbowing me.

  We all looked up, noticing Nisha waltzing our way, accompanied by Lacy. Lacy was a pretty light-brown skinned chick, who’d recently had a baby. Personally, I didn’t have any dealings with her, so that was all I knew about her. Of course, beyond the fact that she was keeping some messy ass company with Nisha.

  “That’s fucked up, Mya. I didn’t know,” Nisha blabbed, as she stepped up to the table.

  I frowned. “What are you talking about?”

  “I didn’t know that you was sick. Why didn’t you say something?”

  “What the fuck are you talking about?” My scowl deepened.

  “You know. You and that baby got that lick. Did you catch it from fucking with everybody’s man?”

  Lacy snickered. “Bitch, you stupid.”

  “No, I’m just saying. Now I see why she was keeping her distance. She aint want me to expose her ass. Bitch is HIV positive, but walking around with her nose in the air like her shit don’t stink.”

  I shot to my feet. “Bitch, I will snatch your ugly ass across the table!”

  “Nah, I’m good,” Nisha claimed, stepping back a few feet. “I aint about to put my life on the line, fighting with a sick bitch.”

  “Sick? Hoe, you got me wrong! The fuck you getting your information from?”

  “Yeah, right. You can say what you want, but anytime ya mama is saying it, then you know it’s real. My mama is friends her on Facebook, and made a whole post about it.” She waved her phone.

  “Let me see.” Nerie stood up, snatching Nisha’s phone. I watched as her mouth gradually dropped. “Nu uh. Look, Mya.” She flashed the phone before my eyes.

  Meeka had posted on Facebook: For yall that keep asking I’m telling yall now. I don’t have a child. That big fat bitch Mya fucked my man, but the jokes on him. Because the little whore caught HIV when she fucked my other nigga years back. So put that information up your pipes and smoke it. While yall worried about my parenting skills. Especially you muthafuckas on her daddy side. Yall got so much to say but I don’t recall none of yall helping me with the bitch while she was eating me out of a house and home. So, yall deal with her sick ass. I’m done. And all you hoes can delete yourselves!

  I was furious, as I felt my body growing hot. Before I knew it, I’d snatched that phone, and smashed it on the floor. I was enraged, as I attempted to race around the table to get ahold of Nisha, but Jayde grabbed me.

  “Nah, friend. I can’t let you do that. You pregnant. She aint worth it.”

  “Let me go!” I reached forward, wanting to strangle the life out of Nisha.

  “Damn, bitch! You mad or nah?” Nisha taunted, wagging her tongue.

  “I’ma kill youuuu!” I roared.

  “Mya, calm down,” Jayde pleaded, as she pushed me further back.

  Nerie shook her head. “Nisha, you tripping. You know that shit aint true.”

  Nisha evilly smirked. “Ion know shit. Meeka could be telling the truth. You see she out in the open, going with her mama’s man. Aint no telling what this hoe will do, or what she got.”

  “And this is what I feel about that!” I spewed, before spitting phlegm on her, which landed partially in her face, and hair.

  “Ewe! This bitch spat on me!” she screeched, before storming off. “I gotta get this shit off me.” Lacy was right behind her, as they retreated like some fucking cowards.

  My chest heaved up and down, as I contemplated killing somebody. I mean, I knew that we’d shitted on Meeka, but she deserved it. Countless of times, she’d fucked over me, but she’d reached a new low with this one.

  Omari

  “Man, stop all that crying, and tell me what happened,” I insisted, as Mya sat in the passenger’s seat of my car, crying her eyes out. She’d called me, demanding that I pick her up from school immediately. So, I’d dropped what I was doing to come get her, and was now parked at a curb outside of her school.

  “Nisha,” she struggled to get. “Nisha came up to me, talking about I got HIV.”

  “What?” I frowned, knowing that was completely false. She was pregnant, which meant that she’d been to the doctor regularly. They’d taken tests for diseases on her second visit, and she was as clean as a whistle. No STD. No nothing. “The fuck is that bitch talking about?”

  “She was repeating what Meeka is going around saying,” she sniveled.

  “Meeka. What the hell was she saying?” I wanted to know.

  Mya gulped. “She posted it on Facebook, talking about I fucked her man, but the joke was on you, because I’m sick. Apparently, some people must’ve been pointing out the fact that she’s never been much of a mama to me, and that’s what she came back with.”

  “You sure that Nisha’s trashy ass aint just saying that?” I questioned, hoping that not even Meeka would take shit that far.

  “I saw the screenshot!” she snapped.

  “Okay, okay. Calm down.”

  “Don’t tell me to fucking calm down! I should kill that bitch Meeka,” she fumed.

  “I hear you, girl. I know that shit was fucked up, and you gotta come to school, facing the muthafuckas who saw that shit.”

  “Exactly. Everybody at school probably knows. Why would she do something like that?” her voice trembled. “She…she must really hate me.”

  I exhaled, not knowing what else to say, because Meeka hating her was a very real possibility, which was sad. Nobody wanted to feel like the person who’d given birth to them hated the very ground they walked on. Regardless of how shit had gone down. I could see the devastation written on Mya’s face, and I would’ve done anything to stop the hurt, right then.

  “Baby, you gotta shake that shit off. Please,” I pleaded. “If for nothing else, think about the baby.”

  She sat continuously crying.

  “Look.” I grabbed the bridge of my nose. “Just do this one thing for me. Just one thing.”

  She sniffled. “What’s that?”

  “Let me handle this.”

  ******

  After doing what I could to calm Mya down, I dropped her off at home. I then did a turnaround, headed to Meeka’s. Honestly, I really didn’t even know what I’d say to her, but I had to say something. I know that I was the last person to preach to her about being a real mother, but damn, man. How far was she willing to go?

  Needing answers to my questions, I found myself at her door. Truthfully, it felt weird, because I hadn’t been there since the day she’d caught me with Mya. We’d abandoned everything we’d left that day, whi
ch was thousands of dollars’ worth of shit, but that’s just how much neither of us wanted to deal with the situation. But shit had gotten too far out of hand, and needed to be addressed. So, I knocked.

  After just a few seconds, I heard her voice from the other side. “Who is it?”

  “Omari,” I answered.

  Immediately, I heard the locks snapping, before she pulled the door open. I was then greeted with her bright hazel eyes. Meeka stood there in front of me, and for the first time in a long time, I realized how attractive she was. I’d stopped looking at her in that way once I laid down with Mya, but facts were facts. Regardless of her age, she was a looker, but I couldn’t say the same about her heart.

  “Hey, what’s up?” she asked inquisitively, as I noticed that she was rocking Mya’s Pink shirt, and her Nike’s. Clearly, she’d made use of the clothes we’d left behind. I was a little surprised that her greeting was so welcoming, considering everything.

  “Can I come in?” I quizzed.

  “Umm,” she hesitated, glancing over her shoulder. “I don’t think that would be a good idea.”

  I nodded, figuring that she had some nigga inside. I wasn’t surprised. Little did she know, but I’d found out that she’d slept with a few other niggas, while I lived with her. Not once did I confront her, because I really didn’t give a fuck.

  “Okay, well, step outside, please.”

  “What’s up?” she asked, tipping completely outside.

  “Look, man,” I licked my lips. “I know that we didn’t have this conversation before, but I’m gonna address it. Regardless of how fucked up I feel you and Mya’s relationship was, I was still wrong for my part. I shouldn’t have stayed here, and slept with your daughter under your roof. So, I apologize.”

  She nodded. “Thank you. I appreciate that. Honestly, it might feel better if you didn’t apologize, and then still deal with her.”

  “Yeah,” I sighed. “And I feel bad about that, but I aint gon stand here, and bullshit you. I’m with Mya, and that’s how it’s gonna be.”