by J. L. Beck
“I want to taste you, Mouse.” I press my lips against the side of her neck, alternating between sucking and kissing. She softly whimpers, tilting her head, exposing more of her neck to me. And like a man starved of food, I ravage her, turning her around in my arms, while backing up to press her back against the tile. I blaze a trail of hot kisses across her collarbone and down between her tits, rolling her pink puckered nipples between my fingers.
My lips travel lower, over her smooth belly, and to each hip, which I bite tenderly. Another soft whimper of pleasure escapes her pink lips as I do this, and I slowly drop down to my knees on the floor before her. Her hands make their way into my hair, and she peers down at me. She looks like a goddamn angel, and fuck, I’ll be damned if I don’t want to fuck the good right out of her. Placing a soft kiss against her mound, I slide the tip of my tongue between her folds, very slowly, before hooking both of her legs over my shoulders.
She slides down the wall with a yelp, but I catch her ass in my hands, my fingers messaging the soft flesh.
“I’ll always catch you if you fall,” I murmur into her softness, pressing my lips over her clit. I move my hands up, to her thighs, spreading her wider, until I see her pretty pink pussy beckoning me forward.
I lick my lips and dive in, licking her from top to bottom. She melts in my fucking hands, and I feel my cock harden when her fingers grip onto my hair painfully.
“Hurt me, Mouse. Hurt me like I hurt you,” I growl against her pussy, and her moan of pleasure vibrates through the fucking walls of the bathroom. I know I have to hear that sound again. I feast on her like she is my last meal, licking and sucking her clit furiously. Mouse starts panting and I suck harder, flicking the tip of my tongue all while continuing to suck.
I feel my muscles burning, my need to be inside her nearly consuming me, but I push the fucking thought down as I feel her fingers sink into my scalp. Her nails are nothing, but they dig into the skin, causing a sting of pain and pleasure to course through my veins.
“Come for me, Mouse, come all over my fucking tongue,” I demand.
She wiggles her ass in my hands as if she’s trying to get away, and I smile, knowing there is nowhere for her to go.
“I… Xander… I’m…” She gasps, her movements frantic, and her hips thrust upward, grinding her pussy into my face. I move from her clit to her entrance right as she goes off, my tongue swirling around inside her tight little hole as her sweet cream gushes all over my tongue.
“Mmmm…” I moan between her folds. “You taste so fucking delicious. Like a find fucking wine, I think you taste better every time I dip my tongue inside you.”
I lick her from ass to clit a few more times before placing her back on her feet. Her knees seem to buckle beneath her, and she places a hand on my shoulder to steady herself.
“You’re really good… at that.” She giggles, and it’s the cutest fucking sound I’ve ever heard. I take in her pinked cheeks and her big blue eyes that have this sated look to them. She looks relaxed and thank fuck, because I don’t know what the hell is going to happen at this auction tonight. I don’t know if Mouse’s sister is even alive still, but I hope so.
I really fucking do, because I want to make her happy even after everything. I still want her to be happy. I have no fucking clue how, but I’ll try. I want to keep that beautiful smile of hers on her face as long as I can.
“I’ve got lots and lots of practice.” I wink and start washing us both.
“Does it bother you that I’m not as experienced as you?” she asks as I wash her hair, gently massaging her scalp.
“Not a single bit. Knowing I’ll be your first everything is very… satisfying.” My honesty to her question surprises me. The more I’m around her, the more I want to tell her. I want to tell her about my past, about what I want for my future.
Fuck. I put up this front. I tell myself I have to be this hardened criminal only to hate myself later for hurting her. Like before we got on the plane. I hurt her. I could see it in her eyes, the sadness, the anger, and fear. How long can I keep this up with her?
The thought of being that man to her kills me. As I rinse her hair, I think about the fact that I could do this for her every single day. I could keep her as mine, and mine only. I’ve already told her she can never leave. It would be so easy to do.
“I want to keep you, Mouse,” I whisper into her ear.
Her eyes open instantly, shock, and something else reflecting in her depths. “Keep? As in like property? Or keep as in something more?”
I smirk. “Maybe a little bit of both. I don’t really know. All I know is that I don’t want to have to hurt you, and I don’t think I can ever let you go, so maybe we can come to a compromise… an agreement.” I stumble over my words nervously, like I’m fifteen again and asking some fucking chick out on a date.
Mouse stares at me for a long moment, saying nothing. Then she pushes up onto the tips of her toes, sliding her slick body against mine.
She presses her lips against mine softly. “I like you, Xander, but I really like you when you’re the man you are now. When you drop the act and stop pretending that you are a monster. We all have a little bit of darkness inside us, but that doesn’t mean it has to define us.”
“I’m not pretending to be a monster, I know I am. And there isn’t just a little bit of darkness inside of me. There is a whole fucking truck load. It swallows up all of the good. It taints every fucking inch of my heart, and I can’t be the man that I am with you right now… not when we are out there. I can never show anybody this side of me. I shouldn't even have shown it to you.” Fuck, I shouldn’t have.
“But you did, and now that I’ve seen this part of you, I’m not sure I can ever forget it exists.” Her tiny hands cup my cheeks, and I lean into her touch, reveling in it. It’s warm and it calms the fucking storm inside me.
Staring into my eyes, she continues, “You might think you’re past saving, but I don’t think so. I just think you haven’t found the one single person willing to go through heaven and hell for you.”
My heart thuds against my ribs, and I want to tell her I have… I really fucking do, but I can’t. Not yet. I choke down all the feelings threatening to escape me and clench my fists at my side. I feel sick, knowing I have to become him, but it has to be done…
“We really need to get ready.” I change the subject, pulling out of her touch, and she gives me a knowing smile. My mouse sees right through the bullshit and if that’s not the scariest fucking thing ever, then I don’t know what is.
I rinse all the soap out of her hair before I turn the shower off and step out to grab two towels. I wrap her up in a large one and dry her hair with a smaller one before leading her back into the bedroom. I sling one towel over my shoulder.
“I got you this dress for tonight.” I unzip the plastic bag it’s in and hold it up.
Her eyes go wide as she takes in the short red dress. The fabric is soft, but I know for a fact it will hug every single inch of her curves.
“Xander, you didn’t have to.” She smiles, running her fingers over the material.
“I know I didn't, but I wanted to. Plus, the place we are going is not really a skinny jeans and sneakers kind of place.” I put the dress down on the bed and pluck the matching red thong and strapless bra from within the same bag.
She nibbles on her bottom lip, spotting the scrap of fabric. Fuck, would I love to know what she’s thinking.
“Get dressed, Mouse. Oh, and I look forward to seeing you in that thong later.” I wink and then press a kiss to her lips before pulling away, my cock stiffer than hell, reminding me of how much not only my heart wants her but my body, too.
Mine. All fucking mine.
35
Ella
I glare at the four-inch heels Xander is expecting me to wear tonight. I can’t figure out how I’m going to manage walking in them without breaking my ankle or embarrassing him.
“Remember what you said earlier in the
shower about you always catching me?”
Xander looks up from buttoning his shirt. “Yes, of course.”
“Well, I hope you meant it, because I will probably do a lot of falling in these.” I slip into the black heels with red soles and take a few unsteady steps. They are much more comfortable than I expected them to be, but it still takes me a few rounds of walking around the room before I start to look like a person walking instead of a newborn fawn.
“I’m sure you’ll manage, Mouse. You ready?”
I take another look at myself in the mirror. The dress is absolutely stunning and fits me like a glove. I blow dried my hair and straightened it, then did some light makeup. I didn’t want to do something that was too eye catching. My wrists are still an angry red-looking mess, and I really wish I had something to cover them up.
I can't imagine what everyone will think when they see them.
Xander comes up behind me, looking at my reflection in the mirror. “You look beautiful, and those will eventually heal.” He makes reference to my wrists as if he can read my mind. “Don't worry about what everyone else thinks, Mouse. They don’t know your story.”
He has no idea how much his words mean to me, no idea at all.
“And while I'd love nothing more than to stay in this room all evening with you, we really need to go now. Damon and Keira are waiting downstairs for us.”
I nod and smile as he walks us to the door. Xander grabs the knob but doesn't open it right away, and I wonder what he’s thinking.
“Remember what I told you. I can’t be like this out there. Not tonight or any other time we’re doing business. You get that, right?” I can hear the sincerity in his voice.
“Yes,” I answer. He opens the door for me, and I walk across the threshold, almost falling over my own feet. Xander grabs my arm to steady me before he holds out his arm for me to loop mine under.
“Just hold on to me and remember the rules. Everything I told you yesterday you have to do… especially today. There are some really bad people, far worse than me, Mouse, and believe me when I tell you, you don’t want to draw their attention.”
My eyes widen slightly. “I understand, Xander,” I assure him with a smile, and we get into the elevator and head down to the lobby. Damon and Keira are already waiting for us at the elevator when we exit. When I see Keira, I smile, and she smiles back, her smile fading when she notices the dirty look Xander is giving her.
She wrinkles her nose at him, and I almost start laughing. My gaze roams over Keira. She’s wearing a royal blue, off-the-shoulder cocktail dress that ends right above her knee. She looks so stunning that I forget I’m not supposed to actually be looking at her.
Quickly, I avert my eyes to the floor and tighten my grip on Xander’s arm. Nervous butterflies explode inside my belly. I’m a bundle of nerves right now. The thought of possibly finding my sister excites me and terrifies me all at once.
It’s been forever since I’ve seen her or hugged her, and I can’t wait to just be in the same room as her again. My thoughts are interrupted as we walk outside where the limo is already waiting for us. The door is held open by one of Xander’s men, as always. I climb in very slowly, sliding across the leather seats. Xander gets in behind me, his fingers splaying across my back, as if he is showing ownership of me without really saying it.
His touch is gentle, and I want to sink into it. He pulls me into his side but doesn’t say anything to me. Then again, he doesn’t have to… his actions assure me that he cares. He and Damon discuss some business matters about their father on the way to the restaurant. I look out the window, trying to take everything in, but there is just way too much going on.
Every building we pass has lights that blind me. Hundreds of people walk down the sidewalks, some wearing ridiculous outfits, some wearing hardly anything at all. It’s a sight to see, that is for sure.
The limo rolls to a stop along the curb in front of the restaurant. Seconds later, the door opens, and we get out. I hold my breath, praying I don’t fall and break my ankle or, even worse, embrace Xander. I sigh in relief when my pointed heels stick firmly to the ground. I’m careful not to look around, even though I’m curious to know where we’re eating and what the place looks like. Xander ushers us all inside, and out of the corner of my eye, I see the hottest girl. She doesn’t even ask who we are or what table we want. Instead, she says, “Follow me, please,” and leads the way. We walk for what seems like an eternity before she seats us. When she kindly asks us what we would like to drink, Xander orders without looking at her.
“Whisky neat for me, and water for her.”
I don’t have to look up to see who is snorting angrily across the table. I wish he would just let me tell Damon and Keira about us. Why can’t they not know? What’s the harm in his brother knowing about us? Does he think it will make him look weak? Or does he want to hide me from them?
“Whiskey as well, and whatever she would like,” Damon announces.
I lift my gaze to Keira and see the fire flickering in her eyes. She’s really angry, like really angry, and for the first time ever, I wonder what the story between them is. I remember Xander saying something about her dying if Damon hadn’t married her in one of their previous sparring matches. I guess that would make me angry, too, but she seems to have it out for Xander in the worst way.
“I’ll take a water as well.” She tries to keep her voice calm but her tone all but says she is pissed. I unravel my napkin and settle it into my lap.
I feel Xander’s hand land on my thigh beneath the table, and I almost gasp at his touch. I peek a glance at him, and pleasure zings straight through me and into my core when I see the desire pooling in his gaze.
The hostess walks away, mumbling something about how our waitress will be with us shortly but no one says anything.
“Should I try and stab you again?” Keira growls, her hands balled into tiny little fists.
“Didn’t work out to well for you the first time, if I remember?” Xander doesn’t even blink.
Damon seems annoyed with both of them, a frustrated sigh expelling from his lungs. “Keira, you’re not stabbing my brother. Xander, you’re not going to hurt my wife. Can’t you two just get along?”
“Nope,” they both say in unison. Their sparring match is giving me whiplash. Our waitress shows up a moment later with our drinks sitting them in front of each of us. She starts rambling on about the daily specials, but I don’t think anybody is listening to a word she is saying. The tension is thick, and Damon reaches for his glass immediately, downing half of it within seconds.
“I’ll be needing at least five more of these,” he tells the waitress, who looks at him with wide eyes. Silence settles upon the table while Xander and Keira continue to stare at each other with anger resonating in their eyes.
“Are we ready to order?” The waitress somehow gets the words out, and I know I won’t get a chance to order, so instead, I reach for my glass of water, taking a small sip.
“I’ll take a King Prime Rib, and she’ll take a Queen,” Xander orders without even blinking, his gaze still firmly on Keira.
The waitress moves her eyes to Keira, who orders next, “I’ll take an order of pineapple, mashed potatoes and gravy, and a chicken breast smothered in onions and mushrooms.”
I blink at her order. It’s so bizarre, almost as if she’s…
“Don’t mind her, she’s pregnant.” Damon laughs, all but taking the words out of my mouth. “And I’ll have a King Prime Rib as well.”
The waitress scurries away, leaving us all alone once again. I smile and mouth a congratulations at Keira from across the table. I feel Xander pull his hand away and, out of the corner of my eye, I see him reach for something with that same hand in his suit pocket. I quickly realize it’s the pill bottle holding my antibiotics. He pops the top on the bottle and hands me one without saying a word. I take it from him without a word and put it into my mouth, swallowing it down with a sip of water.
�
��Are you fucking kidding me?” Keira all but yells.
Damon leans into her and whispers something in her ear, but that only seems to make her more livid. “No, I will not stop. Do you not see what your brother is doing to that poor girl? Are you drugging her? Seriously, Xander? You’ve ruined a lot of people’s lives. Almost mine, and your brother’s, and now you want to ruin hers, too.”
My stomach clenches at her words. She doesn’t know Xander, not like I do, and maybe that’s half the problem.
My eyes move from Keira and back to Xander. His jaw is clenched, and he grips the glass of whiskey in his hands so tightly I worry the glass will crack. To most, he would seem unfazed by her words, but I know him better than that and there is no way I can just sit here and not stick up for him. Consequences be damned… I won’t let her think any worse of him than she already does. Yes, he’s an evil man, but there is goodness inside him. I know this because I am still alive.
“It’s not like that, Keira. He’s not drugging me.”
Keira laughs, but it’s not a funny kind of laugh. “Oh, joy, he’s convinced you that he’s not some sick son of a bitch that gets off on hurting others.”
“Keira,” Damon scolds, slamming his fist down on the table, startling both Keira and me. Tears begin to well in her brown eyes, and I want to reach out and hug her just like she did me the last time I was scared. Damon mutters, “Fuck,” under his breath before he pulls her chair across the floor, bringing her body closer to his.
“Don’t bother, brother. If she wants to think the worst of me, she can. She doesn’t know me. Not really. And I can’t really blame her for being angry. I did, after all, kill her brother and threaten to kill her as well, so she does have a right to think horribly of me.” The smile Xander gives his brother sends shivers down my spine. He’s only saying these things to play up the image he wants people to see. Anything less and he’d be considered weak.
