Love 2.0: How Our Supreme Emotion Affects Everything We Feel, Think, Do, and Become

by Barbara Fredrickson

  60 just beginning to chart the ways that oxytocin and other ingredients that make up love’s biochemistry trigger healthy changes in gene expression: In ongoing research funded by the U.S. National Institutes of Health (R01NR012899) I’ve teamed up with Steve W. Cole, director of UCLA’s Social Genomics Core Laboratory, to examine how learning loving-kindness meditation may alter people’s patterns of gene expression. We are especially interested in changes that may occur in the cells that regulate inflammatory processes in the immune system.

  61 Your friend’s coworker’s sister’s happiness actually stands to elevate your own happiness: Fowler and Christakis (2009).

  Chapter 4

  63 You are made in the image of what you desire: Thomas Merton (1958). Thoughts on Solitude. New York: Farrar, Straus and Giroux.

  64 his controversial 1954 book, The Doors of Perception: Published in the United States by Harper and Row and in the UK by Chatto and Windus.

  65 now confirmed by brain imaging experiments: See the elegant brain imaging experiments reported by Taylor Schmitz, Eve De Rosa, and Adam K. Anderson (2009). “Opposing influences of affective state valence on visual cortical encoding.” Journal of Neuroscience 29(22): 7199–207. See also work by David Soto, Maria Funes, Azucena Guzman-Garcia, et al. (2009). “Pleasant music overcomes the loss of awareness in patients with visual neglect.” Proceedings of the National Academy of Science (USA) 106: 6011–16.

  65 a distinct brain area that reacts to human faces (the extrastriate fusiform face area, or FFA): Nancy Kanwisher, Josh McDermott, and Marvin M. Chun (1997). “The fusiform face area: A module in human extrastriate cortex specialized for face perception. Journal of Neuroscience 17(11): 4302-11.

  65 a separate brain area that reacts to places (the parahippocampal place area, or PPA): Russell Epstein, Alison Harris, Damian Stanley and Nancy Kanwisher (1999). “The parahippocampal place area: Recognition, navigation, or encoding?” Neuron 23:115-25.

  65 The results were clear: Schmitz, et al. (2009).

  66 they are temporarily able to see and act on information that simply doesn’t register for them while not listening to music: Soto et al. (2009).

  67 to see things from their perspective: Paul Miceli, Christian E. Waugh, Keiko Otake, Ahjalya Hejmadi, and Barbara L. Fredrickson (2012). “Positive emotions unlock other-focus.” Unpublished data. See also Christian E. Waugh and Barbara L. Fredrickson (2006). “Nice to know you: Positive emotions, self-other overlap, and complex understanding in the formation of a new relationship.” Journal of Positive Psychology 1(2): 93–106.

  67 the doors of perception widen further, in unique ways: In addition to the common forms of broadening shared by different positive emotions, recent research by Dr. Lisa Cavanaugh suggests that distinct positive emotions may also broaden your awareness in distinct ways. For example, whereas the positive emotion of hope stretches your consideration of time to be more future-oriented, love appears to stretch your circle of moral concern to include more distant others. Lisa A. Cavanaugh (2009). “Feeling good and doing better: How specific positive emotions influence consumer behavior and well-being.” Dissertation Abstracts International Section A: Humanities and Social Sciences 70(3-A): 948.

  67 you come to view one another as part of a unified whole: Waugh and Fredrickson (2006). See also work by John F. Dovidio, Samuel L. Gaertner, Alice M. Isen, and Robert Lowrance (1995). “Group representations and intergroup bias: Positive affect, similarity, and group size.” Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin 21(8): 856–65.

  67 love stretches your circle of concern to include others to a greater degree: Cavanaugh (2009).

  67 extend your trust and compassion to them: Jennifer R. Dunn and Maurice E. Schweitzer (2005). “Feeling and believing: The influence of emotion on trust.” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 88(5): 736–48. See also classic work by the late Alice M. Isen and Paula F. Levin (1972). “Effect of feeling good on helping: Cookies and kindness.” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 21(3): 384–88.

  67 “investment in the well-being of another, for his or her own sake,” as an essential, always-present fingerprint of love: Quoted from page 621 in Hegi and Bergner (2010).

  67 attend more closely to other people’s needs and help you vigilantly take in and evaluate incoming information so that you can protect them from harm: Vladas Griskevicius, Michelle N. Shiota, and Samantha L. Neufeld (2010). “Influence of different positive emotions on persuasion processing: A functional evolutionary approach.” Emotion 10(2): 190–206.

  67 leaves you with more positive automatic reactions: Cendri A. Hutcherson, Emma M. Seppala, and James J. Gross (2008). “Loving-kindness meditation increases social connectedness.” Emotion 8(5): 720–24.

  67 your everyday interactions with friends and coworkers become more lighthearted and enjoyable: Fredrickson, et al. (2008).

  67 neuroscientific studies show that positive emotions open your perceptual awareness: Schmitz et al. (2009).

  68 they also open your torso: Melissa M. Gross, Elizabeth A. Crane, and Barbara L. Fredrickson (in press). “Effort-shape and kinematic assessment of bodily expression of emotion during gait.” Human Movement Science.

  68 raising your cheeks to create (or deepen) the crow’s feet at the corners of your eyes: Together with raised lip corners, these crow’s feet wrinkles have their own scientific label, the Duchenne smile, named in honor of the nineteenth-century scientist who first discovered the unique connection between this type of smile and the sincere expression of good feelings. See Paul Ekman, Richard J. Davidson, and Wallace V. Friesen (1990). “The Duchenne smile: Emotional expression and brain physiology II.” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 58(2): 342–53.

  68 overreliance on posed expressions and still photographs: Such limitations may well account for early claims that only one of the five or six basic, universal emotions was positive, identified variously as enjoyment or happiness. See work by Paul Ekman (1992). “An argument for basic emotions.” Cognition and Emotion 6(3/4): 169–200.

  68 the unique nonverbal fingerprint of love: Gian C. Gonzaga, Dacher Keltner, Esme A. Londahl, and Michael D. Smith (2001). “Love and the commitment problem in romantic relations and friendship.” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 81(2): 247–62.

  69 these four nonverbal cues—smiles, gestures, leans, and nods—both emanate from a person’s inner experiences of love and are read by others as love: Gonzaga et al. (2001).

  69 how they deliver direct criticism, which (as I describe in a later section) has been found to predict the long-term stability of loving relationships: John M. Gottman, James Coen, Sybil Carrere, and Catherine Swanson (1998). “Predicting marital happiness and stability from newlywed interactions.” Journal of Marriage and the Family 60: 5–22.

  69 these and other ways of keeping in time together forge deep feelings of group solidarity: William H. McNeil (1995). Keeping Together in Time: Dance and Drill in Human History. Harvard University Press. See also Barbara Ehrenreich (2006).

  70 a colleague of mine urged my husband and me to attend the opening game of the football season, because “that’s what we do here”: Thank you, Robert Sellors!

  71 when people move together as one orchestrated unit, they later report that they experienced an embodied sense of rapport with each other: Tanya Vacharkulksemsuk and Barbara L. Fredrickson (2011). “Strangers in sync: Achieving embodied rapport through shared movements.” Journal of Experimental Social Psychology 48: 399–402.

  71 it breeds liking: Michael J. Hove and Jane L. Risen (2009). “It’s all in the timing: Interpersonal synchrony increases affiliation.” Social Cognition 27(6): 949–60.

  71 cooperation: Scott S. Wiltermuth and Chip Heath (2009). “Synchrony and cooperation.” Psychological Science 20(1): 1–5.

  71 and compassion: Piercarlo Valdesolo and David DeSteno (2011). “Synchrony and the social tuning of compassion.” Emotion 11(2): 262–66.

  71 success in joint actio
n: Piercarlo Valdesolo, Jennifer Ouyang, and David DeSteno (2010). “The rhythm of joint action: Synchrony promotes cooperative ability.” Journal of Experimental Social Psychology 46(4): 693–95.

  72 the generation-spanning bonds you share with a parent or child were also forged through accumulated micro-moments of felt security and affection, communicated variously through synchronized gaze, touch, and vocalizations: Ruth Feldman (2007). “Parent-infant synchrony: Biological foundations and developmental outcomes.” Current Directions in Psychological Science 16(6): 340–45.

  72 nonverbal signs of unity forecast a shared subjective appreciation of oneness, connection, and an embodied sense of rapport: Vacharkulksemsuk and Fredrickson (2011).

  74 couples who regularly do new and exciting (or even silly) things together have better quality marriages: Art and Elaine’s story is a fictionalized account based on the scientific facts derived from clever experimental work conducted by two highly accomplished (and married!) psychologists named Art and Elaine, together with their collaborators. See Aron, et al. (2000).

  74 bringing your own positive emotion to your partner: Indeed, experiencing intense emotions, whether positive or negative, triggers the urge to talk about that emotional experience with others. See work by Rimé (2009).

  75 they also further fortify the relationship, making it more intimate, committed, and passionate next season than it is today: Shelly L. Gable, Gian C. Gonzaga, and Amy Strachman (2006). “Will you be there for me when things go right? Supportive responses to positive event disclosures.” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 91(5): 904–17. See also Shelly L. Gable, Harry T. Reis, Emily A. Impett, and Evan R. Asher (2004). “What do you do when things go right? The intrapersonal and interpersonal benefits of sharing positive events.” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 87(2): 228–45.

  76 it forecasts becoming even more solid and satisfied with their relationship: Sara B. Algoe, Barbara L. Fredrickson, and Shelly Gable (2012). “More than reinforcement: Expressions of gratitude reveal how and why gratitude functions for the dyad.” Manuscript under review.

  78 good feelings nourish resilience: Cohn, et al. (2009).

  78 They dismantle or undo the grip that negative emotions can gain on your mind and body alike: Barbara L. Fredrickson and Robert W. Levenson (1998). “Positive emotions speed recovery from the cardiovascular sequelae of negative emotions.” Cognition and Emotion 12(2): 191–220. See also Barbara L. Fredrickson, Roberta A. Mancuso, Christine Branigan, and Michele M. Tugade (2000). “The undoing effect of positive emotions.” Motivation and Emotion 24(4): 237–58.

  78 resilience can be normative, or standard: Sara B. Algoe and Barbara L. Fredrickson (2011). “Emotional fitness and the movement of affective science from lab to field.” American Psychologist 66(1): 35–42. See also Ann S. Maston (2001). “Ordinary magic: Resilience processes in development.” American Psychologist 56(3): 227–38.

  78 can be improved through experience and training: In recent years, the great promise of the new science of resilience—and of positive psychology, more generally—has translated into massive efforts to increase resilience in people who perhaps need it most: those in the U.S. military who have faced an unprecedented number of repeat deployments across two extended wars. Increasingly, military personnel have returned from Iraq and Afghanistan with mental health problems, including depression, posttraumatic stress disorder, and suicidal tendencies. These problems compromise not only their own health and well-being but also the health and well-being of their spouses, their children, and other military family members. To address those pernicious problems and to raise the resilience and emotional fitness of all enlisted soldiers, the U.S. Army has collaborated with behavioral scientists to launch a multifaceted Comprehensive Soldier Fitness initiative. That effort, while noble, faces considerable challenges, to be sure. Yet to the extent that behavioral scientists are willing to translate and test theories of resilience within the crucible of military service and international conflict, both the military population and behavioral science itself will see mutual benefit. See Martin E. P. Seligman (2011). Flourish: A Visionary New Understanding of Happiness and Well-being. New York: Free Press.

  79 Even as kids, they were especially adept at using humor to get others to smile or laugh along with them: Emmy E. Werner and Ruth S. Smith (1992). Overcoming the Odds: High Risk Children from Birth to Adulthood. Ithaca, New York: Cornell University Press.

  79 more sensitive and attuned parents help their children to develop their own store of self-soothing techniques: Jennifer A. DiCorcia and Ed Tronick (2011). “Quotidian resilience: Exploring the mechanisms that drive resilience from a perspective of everyday stress and coping.” Neuroscience and Biobehavioral Reviews 35: 1593–1602.

  79 requires precisely that suite of personal and collective resources that micro-moments of positivity resonance serve to build: John T. Cacioppo, Harry T. Reis, and Alex J. Zautra (2011). “Social resilience: The value of social fitness with an application to the military.” American Psychologist 66(1): 43–51.

  80 John Gottman, perhaps the world’s leading scientific expert on emotions in marriage: For more infomation, see http://www.gottman.com

  82 “expertise in the fundamental pragmatics of life”: Paul B. Baltes, Judith Gluck, and Ute Kunzmann (2002). “Wisdom: Its structure and function in regulating successful life span development.” In Handbook of Positive Psychology, edited by C. Rick Snyder and Shane J. Lopez, pp. 327–47. Oxford University Press. See also Robert J. Sternberg (1998). “A balance theory of wisdom.” Review of General Psychology 2(4): 347–65.

  82 Spend just ten minutes in pleasant conversation with someone else and your performance on a subsequent IQ test gets a boost: Oscar Ybarra, Eugene Burnstein, Piotr Winkielman, Matthew C. Keller, Melvin Manis, Emily Chan, and Joel Rodriguez (2008). “Mental exercising through simple socializing: Social interaction promotes general cognitive functioning.” Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin 34(2): 248–259. See also Oscar Ybarra, Piotr Winkielman, Irene Yeh, Eugene Burnstein, and Liam Kavanagh (2010). “Friends (and sometimes enemies) with cognitive benefits: What types of social interactions boost executive functioning?” Social Psychological and Personality Science 2(3): 253–61.

  83 you’d be considerably more pragmatic and discerning if you could first discuss these dilemmas for a few minutes with someone whose perspective you really value … and then think about the situation a bit more on your own: Ursula M. Staudinger and Paul B. Baltes (1996). “Interactive minds: A facilitative setting for wisdom-related performance?” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 71(4): 746–62.

  83 positivity resonance unlocks collective brainstorming power: David Sloan Wilson, John J. Timmel, and Ralph R. Miller (2004). “Cognitive cooperation: When the going gets tough, think as a group.” Human Nature 15(3): 225–50.

  83 The more frequently older adults connect with others, the lower their risks for cognitive decline and Alzheimer’s disease: Robert S. Wilson, Kristin R. Krueger, Steven E. Arnold, Julie A. Schneider, Jeremiah F. Kelly, Lisa L. Barnes, Yuxiao Tang, and David A. Bennett (2007). “Loneliness and risk of Alzheimer disease.” Archives of General Psychiatry 64(2): 234–40. See also Teresa A. Seeman, Tina M. Lusignolo, Marilyn Albert, and Lisa Berkman (2001). “Social relationships, social support, and patterns of cognitive aging in healthy, high-functioning older adults: MacArthur studies of successful aging.” Health Psychology 20(4): 243–55.

  85 physician can use knowledge of your vagal tone to forecast with some accuracy your likelihood of heart failure, as well as your odds of surviving such a catastrophic health event: Steve Bibevski and Mark E. Dunlap (2011). “Evidence for impaired vagus nerve activity in heart failure.” Heart Failure Reviews 16(2): 129–35.

  85 Your vagal tone also reflects the strength of your immune system, with a particular tie to chronic inflammation: Richard P. Sloan, Heather McCreath, Kevin J. Tracey, Stephen Sidney, Kiang Lui, and Teresa Seeman (2007). “RR int
erval variability is inversely related to inflammatory markers: The CARDIA study.” Molecular Medicine 13(3/4): 178–84. See also Thayer and Sternberg (2006).

  85 Past work discovered that chronic loneliness—a persistent yearning for more positivity resonance—compromises the ways a person’s genes are expressed, particularly in aspects of the white blood cells of the immune system that govern inflammation: Cole, et al. (2007).

  85 people who have diverse and rewarding relationships with others are healthier and live longer: Lisa F. Berkman and S. Leonard Syme (1979). “Social networks, host resistance, and mortality: A nine-year follow-up study of Alameda County residents.” American Journal of Epidemiology 109(2): 186–204. See also Sheldon Cohen and Denise Janicki-Deverts (2009). “Can we improve our physical health by altering our social networks?” Perspectives in Psychological Science 4(4): 375–78. For a recent meta-analysis of 148 studies, see Julianne Holt-Lunstad, Timothy B. Smith, and J. Bradley Layton (2010). “Social relationships and mortality risk: A meta-analytic review.” PLoS Medicine 7(7): e1000316. doi:10.1371/journal.pmed

  .1000316.

  86 more damaging to your health than smoking cigarettes: Holt-Lunstad, et al. (2010).

  86 fewer colds: Sheldon Cohen, Cuneyt M. Alper, William J. Doyle, John J. Treanor, and Ronald B. Turner (2006). “Positive emotional style predicts resistance to illness after experimental exposure to rhinovirus or influenza A virus.” Psychosomatic Medicine 68: 809–15. See also Sheldon Cohen, William J. Doyle, David P. Skoner, Bruce S. Rabin, and Jack M. Gwaltney, Jr. (1997). “Social ties and susceptibility to the common cold.” Journal of the American Medical Association 277(24): 1940–44.

  86 lower blood pressure: Andrew Steptoe and Jane Wardle (2005). “Positive affect and biological function in everyday life.” Neurobiology of Aging 26(1): 108–12.

  86 less often succumb to heart disease and stroke: Julia K. Boehm and Laura D. Kubzansky (2012). “The heart’s content: The association between positive psychological well-being and cardiovascular health.” Psychological Bulletin.