Witch of All Witches: Tales of Xest #4

by Donna Augustine

  The pain was ebbing as he stood beside the bed, stripping out of his clothes. I’d seen him naked before, seen the way his muscles flexed with each movement, the way the ridges of his abdomen moved as he reached back and yanked his shirt off. He was a well-built man in every department, and he seemed already prepared for what was needed. If he was conjuring up thoughts of other women, I wasn’t going to ask. I wouldn’t even think about it.

  He kneeled on the bed beside me. “I’m not sure how to do this without hurt—”

  I grabbed him, pulling him closer to me, as a wave of pain pushed me past any embarrassment.

  “Okay, then,” he said, getting the hint.

  He smoothed his hands up my legs as he eased them apart and settled between my thighs. His arms rested on either side of my shoulders as he stared down into my eyes. I nodded, knowing he was waiting for one last signal from me that this was the route I wanted to take.

  He rested on one arm as his hand followed the curve of my waist to my hips, before drifting across my stomach and then lower. He made slow circular motions, and my body jerked and arched. My breathing became panting, and it had nothing to do with pain.

  “Hurry,” I said, tugging him closer.

  “I don’t want to add to your pain,” he said softly.

  “I’m ready. God, I’m ready.”

  Hawk removed his hand from my center to position himself, the tip of his cock pressed into me only the slightest bit, testing my entrance. Even now, under the worst possible conditions, I was wet for him.

  He pressed in further, slowly chanting as he did. The pain immediately eased.

  He cradled my face between his hands and watched for a reaction as he chanted.

  I couldn’t hold his stare and closed my eyes. The darkness behind my lids accentuated the pleasure.

  “It’s helping,” he said with what sounded like a sigh of relief mixed with something more urgent, as he became fully seated within me.

  The sudden easing of pain felt like a miracle. I went from unbelievable pain to pleasure in a heartbeat. The only thing painful now was him not moving at all as he stared down at me. I could tell from his tensed shoulders and neck that staying still wasn’t all that pleasurable for him either.

  “It’s helping, but the pain is still there. We should keep going for a bit to be sure.” I arched my back, bucking my hips a bit, trying to help him along.

  He nodded, his eyes settling on my lips. “The more joined, the better it might work, if there’s still some pain.”

  “Good point,” I said, looking at his mouth.

  He closed his lips over mine and withdrew slowly, returning with a more forceful thrust.

  With every movement, the reason we were joining our bodies became more lost. The hesitancy to touch him completely disappeared as I was taken up into the moment. His lips moved from my mouth to my throat to my breasts, scorching my skin everywhere he touched.

  He took my hand and laid it on his neck, the same place he would touch me when testing my magic, and it was as if a door to his soul opened. I could feel his magic’s life force swell through my fingers, down my arm, and it felt like we were joined in two places. I’d never felt so connected to another person in my entire existence. I hadn’t had that much sex in my life, but if this was what it was supposed to feel like, I wasn’t sure if I’d ever had real sex at all.

  He brought me to the edge of the only heaven I believed in anymore, and with a final thrust I was more satiated than I’d ever thought possible. I’d gone from the worst agony to riding waves of bliss.

  He collapsed beside me, having withdrawn suddenly, his erection still obvious.

  “How do you feel?” His voice was rough around the edges.

  “Better.” Like a miracle had been performed on me.

  “Is the pain fully gone?” Hawk asked.

  My limbs had gone from feeling like I was strung up on a torture device to Jell-O.

  “Mostly,” I said, holding back again on full disclosure.

  “Did I stop too soon?” He leaned on his side, hovering over my body, his cock throbbing against my leg.

  “You might’ve,” I said, even as my body was screaming at me to get his cock back in me. “You might need to finish yourself for it to work.”

  His hands were already roving over my flesh again as he said, “Don’t worry, we’re going work at this until you’re completely cured.”

  22

  I’d lost count of how long I’d been in Hawk’s room by the time I finally woke. I was just as pain-free as I had been right before the second, and then third go-arounds. As I’d said to him, I didn’t want to take any chances.

  My head felt clearer than it had in weeks. Reality was hitting me as harshly as the bright sun on my face, streaming through the window. Hawk had been right—Zab, Bibbi, all of them—but I hadn’t been able to see it.

  The door opened and Hawk walked in. I glanced in his direction and ran a hand through my knotted hair. I didn’t know when the last time I bathed was, and that was only the tip of the mess I’d been. That he’d slept with me while I was in this condition made me hope a bomb would strike right where I was lying. It was the only thing capable of obliterating the humiliation that was the last few days of my life. Someone could take a blowtorch to my skin and it wouldn’t feel any hotter. As far as morning-after awkwardness went, this was one for the record books.

  “You look better.”

  I couldn’t discern if there was regret in his tone or if I was just expecting it to be there.

  I nodded, still searching for words as the realization of how crazy I’d gotten settled into my now-rational mind.

  “I am.” Not perfect, but a whole lot closer to human than I had been.

  “Might take you a few days to feel completely normal.” He walked over and laid his fingers on my neck. I wasn’t going to look at him. I didn’t want to know what he felt. Not to mention after how he’d had to fix me, it was hard enough to keep my skin a normal shade. People were going to think I was related to Mertie if it didn’t stop.

  Don’t look. Don’t. Look.

  I looked anyway.

  His lips were pressed together and his gaze flickered to mine but moved on. For a change, he was having a hard time holding my gaze. It didn’t make me feel any better.

  Wait, which part of what was going on was his problem? Was he afraid I’d want to sleep with him again and he was no longer interested? That I’d expect something more from him that he wouldn’t want? Or was it my magic being a jumbled-up mess?

  “You’re weaker, but that doesn’t mean you’ll stay that way.” His hand dropped.

  Wait. This had nothing to do with sex?

  I wasn’t sure which was worse: him being disgusted and done with me or that my magic was a mess. I guess it would depend. Was I permanently damaged goods? And not in the old-fashioned way, but in a Xest way, where my magic might not return?

  “That sounds like you think I could be permanently diminished.”

  I’d been an Infinite. It was supposed to come back. I regenerated. That was how it worked. I wasn’t a witch who had to worry about budgeting my daily magic use, reclaiming what was left after I started a fire or lit a candle. That had never been a concern for me.

  “Is it possible I’ll continue to weaken?” Suddenly I had no problem meeting Hawk’s gaze. Desperation had kicked embarrassment’s ass right out of my mind.

  “I don’t know. I’m not sure what happened. Even if you do, it’s not the end of the world. You still have enough magic to have a long life in Xest.”

  He leaned against the wall, his expression resigned, as if he’d already thought this all through while I was too busy falling apart.

  I hadn’t wanted all the magic I’d had. More often than not, it seemed like a burden. Now, I’d lost my mind and a good chunk of my magic, turned into an animal, all to get to that hill, and I couldn’t even say why. Everyone had seen me morph into this crazed person, and now they’d see my failur
e. It would probably be talked about all through Xest. The witch with it all, the witch of all witches, did something stupid and now had to budget lighting a fire.

  The worst part was that whatever had happened might happen again. What if whatever was lying in that hill still had a pull on me and I wasn’t capable of stopping myself? What if I went back there until I had nothing left to give? I felt like I was on the precipice of falling apart, and I wasn’t going to do it here, not again. Hawk had picked up enough pieces of me yesterday and the day before.

  “I’m going to go get cleaned up.” I walked toward the door, waiting to see if he’d try to stop me. I went slowly, seeing if he’d trust me enough to be on my own, wondering if I trusted myself. Would the urges that had been driving me come back?

  He moved to the door first, opening it. “I’ll tell Bertha you’re up. She’s been cooking nonstop in preparation for you feeling better.”

  I groaned.

  He stood beside the open door, waiting for me. “She’s cooking her normal comfort food. She said too much was going on to cut out all the good stuff right now.”

  I was clean and dressed and feeling a little like the first time I’d walked down the stairs, back when I didn’t know anyone but Hawk. This time was way worse. A blank slate would be better than the memory I’d last left them with, clawing and fighting on the staircase as I tried to leave. Then there was the sweaty mess version from Hawk’s room. They might also know what Hawk had to do to…

  Nope. Not thinking about that one.

  I walked into the back room and grabbed a chair at the table, the shame I felt upstairs still riding me like a devil with the flames of hell. Bertha piled up dishes in front of me as if she didn’t notice she could cook her vittles on my forehead.

  Bibbi was glowing at me, like I hadn’t been a wild animal. Zab had a toothy grin going on, and Oscar was unfazed, as usual. Musso was nodding, like I’d done something right somehow. Hawk was reading over something in his books, probably working out how to fix me.

  Mertie took a seat beside me and said, “Glad to see you’re not still psycho. It wasn’t a good look.”

  “It wasn’t her fault. It was a spell. Nothing to be done about that,” Bibbi said, glaring in Mertie’s direction.

  So much for pretending. I might as well lay it all out.

  “I just want to say I’m sorry if I wasn’t myself lately,” I said, hoping that might be the end of it.

  “We know. It was the hill,” Oscar said, grabbing a bun off one of the many plates piled up in front of me.

  Zab leaned closer, whispering, “Now that you’re normal you probably won’t care, but I told Hawk about the token after I realized what you were up to.”

  “Thanks.” I meant it. Zab might’ve saved my life. How much magic had that place drained from me? What if I’d kept going? What if I went again? It was all I could think of.

  “We think someone planted something at the hill to slowly drain you. That’s the running theory right now,” Oscar said.

  Hawk walked back over, and it seemed like the room grew quieter the closer he got to me.

  “Might’ve been some sort of trap set by Xazier or Lou,” he said. “We’ve all been up there, trying to figure out what’s wrong, but no one has been able to pick up anything. We want to go back with you tomorrow if you’re up to it.”

  “Yeah, sure.” I’d finally gotten Bertha’s good food back, and now I couldn’t eat.

  I was settled on the couch in the back room, realizing how I’d been avoiding this spot. My favorite place in the building, and I’d been afraid to sit here.

  Bibbi spotted me on the couch, and her face lit up as she walked over and joined me, grabbing half of my throw blanket.

  “I’m glad you’re still hanging out. It was lonely without you,” she said.

  “Thanks.” There were usually other people about, but we’d always had a close bond. Bibbi treated Zab like an annoying brother. Mertie was like the stepsister she never wanted. Bertha and Musso were usually doing their own thing. Then there was Oscar, but I wasn’t touching that subject at the moment.

  “I know you had some rough days, but you’re looking much better.”

  There was this hope in her eyes that I’d be the same old Tippi. Would she still think that if she knew it all? There might not be any slaying dragons in my future. My days of being a badass might be officially done. I wasn’t sure how weak I was. I might be clinging to Whimsy status soon. I’d never wanted to be a hard hitter or some super-powerful witch who couldn’t be touched, so telling her shouldn’t feel as hard as it did. There was no point in pretending either way.

  “There’s a chance I might never be the same, or as strong as I was,” I said.

  She smiled, her eyes soft. “No matter what happens, you’re still my peeps. I don’t care what you’ve got going on under the hood.”

  That was the dichotomy of Bibbi. She was either a raging monster if you were on her bad side, or the kindest person you’d ever meet if you were her friend.

  “I never cared how much magic I had. The thing that upsets me is it was taken from me, and I willingly let it be. I was an idiot and walked right into a trap.” I was shaking my head, still reeling from the idiot I’d been.

  “I feel like a fool almost once a day, so don’t let that get you down. But as for the stealing? Yeah, that would burn. I had this bracelet, and one day it disappeared. I knew this girl Rhonda had taken it. We’d been close, and she was the only one who could get in my stuff. It wasn’t even a nice bracelet.” Her nose crinkled. “Actually, it was a downright ugly bracelet now that I think about it. But having it taken still burns.”

  “You never tried to get it back?” I asked, knowing that Bibbi wasn’t one to roll over.

  “Oh, I did. She said she didn’t have it, and then she died not long after. It was of suspicious causes, and people had heard us fighting. I thought it best to let it go at that point.” She gave a little shrug. “As to your situation, you’ll be okay. You’re tough. You’ll figure out something.”

  I wasn’t so sure. I’d made some really bad choices. My resourcefulness felt like it had run out the back door, skipping and holding hands with my luck as it went.

  Bibbi was watching me out of the corner of her eye, a little smirk blooming.

  “What?” I asked.

  “Oscar said Hawk had to fix you.” The smirk graduated into a smile.

  There was no doubt that Oscar had told her just how Hawk had helped me, details and all.

  “He did.” I was not going to blush.

  Shit. Too late. I was already blushing.

  “Hmmm.” She smiled and nodded. “Well, considering how good you look, he must be a very fine fixer.”

  Suddenly her attention was off me and at the door, where Oscar was lingering. It didn’t take a genius IQ to read his expression as he caught Bibbi’s eye.

  Bibbi stood, stretching her arms. “Man oh man, I’m tired. I’ll see you in the morning, okay?”

  “Sure. Hope you get fixed up really well yourself,” I said, trying not to laugh and failing.

  She turned back to me, her smile eating up the lower half of her face. “Oh, no need to worry there.”

  23

  I topped my tea off and curled up into the chair in front of the fireplace, everyone else having long gone to sleep. No one was watching me outright, but I wouldn’t be surprised in the least if Hawk had set up some sort of silent alarm on the door. Not that I minded at the moment. I was more afraid of sneaking out than anyone at this point.

  I felt for the token in the pocket of my long sweater, even though it was gone. I’d never use it again, but part of me wanted it back to remind myself of how slippery my existence could be, of how little I knew and how fast I could fall.

  The back door opened and Hawk walked in, the warm glow of the fire making the angles of his face harsher. Or had the last couple of days taken a toll on him as well?

  “I didn’t thank you for helping me.”
Should I, in essence, thank him for sleeping with me? “You know, because it had to have hurt,” I said. Did it, though? Did using his magic to fix mine really cause him pain? What probably really hurt was the gross mess I’d been. That couldn’t have been good, not that he’d seemed to struggle with it. Did I say something?

  No. Way too awkward.

  “You don’t have to. Pain doesn’t affect me like others,” he said.

  At least he hadn’t thought I was thanking him for the sex.

  “Or affected by the cold?” I would’ve asked almost anything to move the subject along.

  He smiled slightly. “Or cold. My kind have been around since nearly the beginning of Xest. Not everything was planned. Some of it happened on its own.”

  “Like Bautere?” I asked on a hunch.

  “Yes.” He rested his arm on the mantel, silence growing in between us as we both seemed to be separately brooding on something.

  He was staring at me like he could read my every thought. “Nothing will happen tomorrow,” he said.

  There was a steadiness and determination in his voice that almost made me believe he could shift reality into whatever he wanted.

  “I know. I’m not worried.” I wasn’t, not while I was surrounded by people who would stop me from doing something stupid. But what if it triggered me again? What if it set off that strange driving force that robbed me of all logic until I was a rabid animal running back to the hill? Then what? How close could I get to it before I had a problem?

  “Nothing like that will happen ever again because I won’t let it. Your story won’t end like that.”

  I nodded, wishing I could trust he was right, but he didn’t know me as well as he thought. I could be persistent and stubborn like he’d never seen. Next time I wanted to get there, he might not know I was going. Acid swirled in my stomach as I imagined losing myself, everything I had here.

  I got up, not wanting to talk about tomorrow, or think about it. I’d deal with tomorrow when tomorrow was here.