Love and the Stubborn

by Xenia Melzer

  The recruits’ eyes were full of respect and awe, while Kalad made a rude gesture when Renaldo looked at him.

  Renaldo had disarmed Kalad quite forcefully and sent him stumbling to the floor, which hadn’t pleased the desert warrior in the least. Involuntarily, Renaldo had to grin. If Kalad hoped it was over now, he was in for an unpleasant surprise. “Not too bad for a start. You’re quite disciplined and very well trained. Now, let’s work on the details.”

  For two more hours he pushed the recruits and the two Emeris, until the young men sank to the ground exhausted, unable to lift a finger. Aegid and Kalad were covered in sweat and panting.

  “Don’t tell me you’re tired already? For Casto, this is simply a warm-up.”

  Renaldo’s voice was full of mockery. Of course it was exaggerated, his gorgeous lover would be tired too after such intensive training, but he definitely had more stamina than those recruits. What Renaldo had really intended was to make clear to everybody present, and especially to Kalad, that Casto’s position in the Pack was even more privileged than before, and he had been successful in that.

  Kalad bowed to him, as always willing to admit a mistake. He even sounded apologetic. “I’m sorry, my lord. I didn’t mean to be irreverent.”

  With a smile, Renaldo stepped forward. He couldn’t really hold a grudge against Kalad, the Emeris who had been his friend for so long. He gave him a friendly pat on the shoulder and hugged him briefly. “Don’t fret it, my dear brother-in-arms. This felt good. It was exactly what I needed. I’m feeling a lot better already. I owe you thanks.”

  He turned, tossed his training sword to Aegid, and left the hall. Outside, it was already getting dark. The wind had grown stronger, a messenger of the storm to come. Renaldo hurried back to his chambers.

  CASTO WAS already there, sitting with his back to the door in front of the chimney. He was holding a cup of wine. When he heard the door open, he turned around and got up.

  Renaldo watched him closely. Casto had already taken a bath: his hair lay damp against his skull. He wore a dark blue woolen tunic with gold pins at the shoulders.

  With a hint of insecurity, Casto put down the wine and approached him. His lips were trembling slightly, and Renaldo had to suppress the urge to kiss him. Right in front of him, Casto stopped.

  When he started talking, his voice was firm, determined. He extended his chin as he always did when he’d made a decision that didn’t make him happy.

  “I’m sorry, Barbarian. I didn’t want to fight. And I surely didn’t intend to confront you with all those ugly things I said. We have forgiven each other, and I had no right to dig it up again. I apologize for my foolish behavior.”

  That Casto meant what he was saying was reflected by the vulnerability in his gaze. He had just shown weakness and was waiting to see how his lord would handle it. Renaldo couldn’t discipline himself any longer. He took the beautiful, serious face in both hands and kissed the lips that had just submitted to him. He hated to admit it, but seeing Casto demure like that gave him a feeling as if he had just drunk sparkling wine. It satisfied a side of him he hadn’t been aware of. “I, too, am sorry. You’re my heart, my lover. It wasn’t fair of me to use my standing against you. I apologize for my behavior as well.”

  Casto reciprocated the kiss hungrily and rubbed his hips against Renaldo. Now that Renaldo was giving in as well, he felt more comfortable apologizing. “I really didn’t want to fight,” he said, his voice breathless. “My temper got the better of me. Can you forgive me?”

  “If you can forgive me? I, too, have to learn to control my temper. It seems we both have a long way to go.” He caressed Casto’s back casually.

  “My lord.”

  Again they kissed, and then Renaldo looked right into the heated face of the man who was his heart. “You already took your bath, but what do you think about accompanying me into the water?”

  Casto nodded with that faint smile Renaldo knew was reserved only for him. “With pleasure, my lord.”

  In the bathroom, Casto helped Renaldo to get undressed. He was unusually clumsy, which was why Renaldo grabbed his wrists and pulled him close. “Why are you so nervous? Have you done something? You’re never that awkward!”

  Casto blushed deeply as if Renaldo had indeed caught him red-handed—or just made him angry again, it was always hard to tell with Casto. He tried to evade Renaldo’s gaze, something he normally wouldn’t do. But before Renaldo could get any more suspicious, Casto started talking again.

  The slight tremor in his voice betrayed his nervousness. “I’m insecure. So much has happened, I’m no longer sure about my feelings or actions. Today I did something that I thought was a good idea, but now I’m already doubting whether I’ve done the right thing.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  Instead of an answer, Casto stepped back. Now he stared at Renaldo in defiance as he opened the pins on his shoulders. The woolen tunic fell to the ground without making a sound, and Renaldo could only stare speechlessly at the unexpected present his lover had given him.

  Overcome by his emotions, he didn’t know what to say. The prince’s name was like an incantation on his lips. “Casto.”

  The young man looked at him slightly hesitantly. In the light of the candles, his blue eyes seemed eerie. “I didn’t do this solely for you. It’s for me as well. About a year ago you forced me to wear the studs because you wanted to teach me that I’m yours alone. Now I’ve pierced myself to show you that I’m indeed willing to accept you as my lover and master. It’s partly to take back some of the control you took away.”

  He paused for a moment and then went on. His tone made clear how much the topic hurt him. “In Ummana I lived by one rule alone—don’t let them break you. That was my mantra, my maxim that accompanied me through eleven years of loneliness and pain. It was also a rule I made by myself, for myself.

  “As your servant and lover, I have to obey the rules you lay down. This doesn’t come easy to me, since I’ve spent most of my life dismissing everything that was forced on me from the outside. Sometimes I react to your dominance with defiance out of reflex, not because I necessarily have a different opinion, but just because it’s you.

  “I hope that, in the future, these studs will remind me that you don’t have anything in common with my father or my upbringing, and that, on the contrary, you deserve my obedience. Where I come from, I’m a prince, descended from a long line of kings and queens who were used to having their every command obeyed. When I oppose you, it’s not because I lack respect, but because I’m a king.

  “I love you, I hope you know this.”

  Renaldo could only stare at his beautiful lover with his mouth hanging open. He had trouble regaining his composure and took the young man in his arms. “My own! My beautiful, precious heart. I love you so much! First and foremost I love you just the way you are because you are like this. Anything else would bore me to death. Also, I do have to admit I was only a hairsbreadth from strangling you this morning. I’m more than thrilled that you’ve decided to wear my marks again, but I hope you’re aware that I would have never asked it of you again. It was wrong of me to force you in the first place, but I wanted to prove to myself and the world that I’m able to control you.

  “Except for my brother, you’re the only one who dares to challenge my anger. The only one who isn’t burnt by my flame. I’ll never give you up again.” A mischievous grin spread on his lips. “We’ll have to learn how to discuss things like mature adults, even though it means we won’t be the object of malicious bets among the Emeris anymore.”

  Casto, too, was grinning now. “Don’t you think they’ll be shocked when we start acting responsible all of a sudden?”

  “Surely, but they’ll get used to it.”

  Casto wanted to say something more but furrowed his brows and looked at Renaldo with a hint of concern. “What about make-up sex? When we stop fighting, we can’t have that anymore, which would make me very sad. I have some
very pleasing memories about sex in anger.”

  Renaldo’s eyes lit up hungrily. “Rest assured, my shameless prince. I’ve been living for a long time, and I promise you, the best sex of your life is still to come.”

  “Really?” Casto’s voice was raw with a hungry fire that not only unveiled his true, predatory nature, but also blazed in his eyes.

  “Definitely. I’m going to prove it to you right now.”

  THE STORM had already reached its peak when Casto and Renaldo finally left the bath.

  Renaldo had kept his word and given Casto a night he wouldn’t forget in a hurry.

  Ravenous, they fell on the cold dinner that had been served while they had been busy.

  Across plates loaded with cheese, cold chicken, thick slices of bread, and slabs of butter, Renaldo regarded his lover with affection. “When you’re done, we can try to take our first steps as responsible adults,” he suggested.

  Casto shot him a surprised look. “Barbarian?”

  Renaldo smiled weakly. “I assume you’re not yet done with the topic of Sic, and I’d rather discuss it now, when we both are still determined not to let it get out of hand again.”

  Casto glared at him suspiciously. “I seem to remember that you were already done with the issue. Why would you discuss a topic with me that you regard as closed?”

  “Because I had time to think. Just as you oppose me out of reflex, I do things simply to make you angry. Don’t get me wrong, I still think Sic should die for what he has done, but I’m willing to listen to your reasoning and think about it again. Although I might not like the outcome.”

  Renaldo didn’t know what he’d expected from Casto, but surely not that he would get up from his chair, approach him, and press his forehead against Renaldo’s palms in a gesture of respect.

  “Should I ever doubt why I bow to your will, I hope I remember this day,” he murmured to his master.

  Then Casto returned to his place and started listing his arguments in favor of Sic. “Believe me, Barbarian, I’m certainly as furious with Sic as you are since I was the one who had to bear the consequences of his actions. But I can also understand why he did it. I know how much he adores Lord Noran. He would never allow anything bad to happen to his master. Besides, in the end he decided to do what’s right, and he didn’t have a demigod talking some sense into him in his dreams. The decision to save my life was his alone.

  “Sic is a good person. He didn’t stand a chance against Damon. You know that as well as I do.”

  When remembering Casto’s escape and return to the Valley, Renaldo couldn’t suppress a smile. In hindsight, that had been the moment when they had been irrevocably chained to each other. With some effort he managed to pry his thoughts from that particularly fond memory.

  Casto was still speaking, his voice urgent. “Sic is not like Damon. He just wanted to protect someone he loves. That’s why I think he deserves a second chance.”

  “Is that everything?” Renaldo looked calmly at him.

  Casto nodded. “Yes, that’s all. As I said, I don’t ask you to not punish him. I only ask you to spare his life.” He had listed everything that was there to be said.

  “Your arguments are good, Casto. They carry weight. And if this wasn’t about you, about the fact that I almost lost you, I’d pardon him. But it is about you, and that’s why I can’t feel any pity for Sic.”

  He held up his hand when he saw Casto open his mouth to interrupt. Casto closed it again.

  “But I can understand how you feel, which is why I’ll make a suggestion. If Noran agrees to take Sic back, then I will spare his life. In all honesty, the chances are small. Noran was betrayed by a young slave named Arja some hundred years ago. It almost ended in a catastrophe back then, which is why he reacts to treason even more sensitively than I do.

  “If you manage to convince him, Sic is pardoned. But Noran has to take him back as his possession. I will surely not reward the little traitor with his freedom for his actions, and as a masterless slave, he wouldn’t survive for long in the Valley.

  “It won’t be easy for him, Casto. Because of his actions, he lost the protection of the laws in the Valley. He’s fair game. Strictly speaking, everybody, even the other slaves, can do to him whatever they please. Of course this won’t happen when he belongs to Noran. Then he’s only at the mercy of him, for better or worse.”

  Casto listened to the Angel of Death in silence. Then he showed his consent with a nod. Aware of the consequences of his decision, he was convinced that the life-loving Sic would prefer punishment, no matter how cruel, over death. “I accept your conditions. And I thank you for listening to me.” Casto closed his eyes for a moment. When he opened them again, there was a wicked glint lighting them. “I have to admit, it feels good to have a level-headed discussion. Unfamiliar, but good. And definitely better than sex.”

  Before Casto could enjoy his little joke, Renaldo had reached him, yanked him up, and kissed him hard while he shredded Casto’s clothes. He drew back to speak. “I’m more than willing to have a serious discussion with you, but I will surely not allow you to be impudent like that and leave you unscathed. Since spanking is still off the table, I have to find other means of showing you the error of your ways.”

  Casto ignored the underlying question. “What are you waiting for, Barbarian? Show me how ingenious you can be.”

  The words were an explicit invitation that Renaldo took without hesitation and a peace offering he was glad to receive.

  4. Divine Wrath

  EARLY THE next morning, Casto went to the smithy on his own to talk to Lord Noran and convince him to reclaim his slave. That it wouldn’t be easy was clear to him even without Renaldo’s explanation. Noran was a man who could hold a grudge over a past humiliation forever. Given the constantly dark mood and the verbal brutality Noran usually displayed, it was obvious that the sun would rather rise in the west before the master smith changed his opinion.

  Casto had done some discreet inquiries and found out that Noran had beaten his unfortunate slave personally and then taken him to the dungeons. Ever since then, he was even more unapproachable than normal and blew his fuse over the smallest incident.

  Renaldo had asked Casto why he even contemplated getting into such a confrontation, but Casto had a feeling that he somehow owed it to Sic. Even though he was still furious about the betrayal, he simply couldn’t picture the life fading from those smiling, kind eyes. With a sigh, he straightened up, turned his face into his most arrogant, unwavering mask, and went to battle it out with a man he despised from the bottom of his heart.

  WHEN CASTO entered the smithy, the master smith was busy working on a piece of red-hot metal. The hammer struck the anvil in a steady, unrelenting rhythm; the powerful muscles on his forearms bulged threateningly. With his more than one and three-quarter ells in height, Noran was the biggest man in the Valley after Aegid, and his sheer body mass made him a forbidding presence. His height alone was enough to induce fear in others, especially slaves.

  Upon spotting Casto, Noran handed the still-glowing steel to an apprentice and motioned Casto to his private chambers behind the smithy.

  Scattered rather carelessly on two desks were drafts for weapons and jewelry, steel samples, blanks for swords, hammers, and a bunch of other items that Casto wouldn’t have expected to find in a smithy. Three chairs, each of which looked old enough to have seen the birth of Ana-Darasa, were situated around the bigger table. Noran led his guest there, offered him the chair that appeared the least shabby, and then looked at him expectantly. He could guess what Casto wanted from him, and he didn’t like it in the least. His aversion to Casto was as great as the dislike Casto felt for him.

  Still, Noran tried to keep up appearances. “Casto! What brings you here? Are you feeling well? We’re all very glad that you’ve returned to Renaldo safely.”

  Casto flashed a calculated, shy smile. He, too, wanted to keep things calm. “I’m fine. Thank you for your concern, Lord Noran. I’
m here for a special reason, which, I’m afraid, is not going to please you.”

  The master’s face darkened. “What would that be?”

  Casto took a deep, mental breath before he went into battle. There was no sense in beating around the bush, so he cut to the core right away. “I’ve talked to my lord. He has informed me, in detail, about the circumstances of my punishment as well as my rescue. I was able to convince him to spare your slave Sic, but he’ll only do it when you agree to take him on as your own again.”

  “That will only happen the day this world faces its end!” Noran got up abruptly, his face twisted in anger. He smashed his fist on the table, which started to shake as if it were about to break. “How dare you even think about asking me such a thing? I gave the obnoxious little rat my trust, and he returned the favor by helping the Good Mother! No matter what kind of fate Renaldo has planned for him, it’s surely still too good compared to what he’s done.”

  Casto had involuntarily backed off when Noran exploded. The man’s physical presence was like a battering ram that obliterated any opposition, but now Casto leaned forward again, angry with himself that he’d been affected by it. His voice was calm and clear, a stark contrast to Noran’s outburst. “Sic did it because he thought he could protect you. That has to count for something, even in your opinion, Lord Noran.”

  “Even if he’d done it to protect Ana-Isara herself, treason is treason, and he’ll pay for it fair and square.”

  Casto realized he wouldn’t get anywhere with rational reasoning, so he straightened up to his full height, tilted his head back, looked Noran directly in the eye, and spoke with all the authority his ancestors had accumulated through centuries. As if what he was about to say wasn’t his last, desperate resort. “You don’t seem to understand, Lord Noran. This wasn’t a request. You owe me, and I’m claiming the debt now.”

  Noran froze. He was so used to slaves ducking in terror before his angry outbursts that it came as a physical shock when he met resistance. But he gathered himself well. A piercing look hit Casto. “What kind of debt would I owe you? I can’t remember you ever doing anything for me. But I can assure you, had I won you back then in Arana, you’d now know how to behave toward a lord.”