Letting Go (A Mitchell Family Series)

by Unknown

  I jumped up and tried to get between them. “Please don’t fight!” I screamed, but Ty pushed me out of the way.

  “Shut up Van!”

  Colt pulled me behind him. “Don’t you touch her like that.”

  “You don’t tell me how to touch my girl.” Ty yelled back.

  “Do you think she would have run to me if you were treatin’ her good before your accident? Do you think she deserves to be lied to?” Colt yelled. His chest was rising and falling and I really thought he was going to hurt his cousin.

  “Oh is that how you got in her pants? You told her all of my dirty little secrets didn’t you? I looked up to you and you used all of my secrets to get into my girlfriend’s pants. You fucking asshole. I wish you were dead, you common bastard.”

  “I didn’t tell her shit!” Colt yelled.

  “Bullshit! There is no way she would have fucked you if she hadn’t found out how many girls I was sleeping with the whole time we were together. She told me a long time ago that it was the only reason she would ever leave me. I know you told her.” He screamed back.

  This time I jumped in the middle of them. I was so shocked. All of this time Colt knew that Ty had cheated on me. I felt betrayed by both of them. “He never told me. ….. But, you just did.” I said as I walked away from both of them and leaned on the truck. I was so hurt and angry that I didn’t care if they beat the shit out of each other.

  “I don’t understand. Van wait!” Ty called out.

  I wouldn’t look at him.

  I heard Colt clear his throat. “ Leave her alone! Look Ty, it started out just as friends. We didn’t mean for it to turn into more, but I never told her anything. I didn’t want her to love me because she hated you. I wanted her to choose me on her own. I am sorry. I know you think I am the worst cousin ever, but, I swear to you, I love her.”

  I turned to look at them when it got too quiet. Ty took his crutch and threw it at the back of the truck. “All my life I wanted to be you. You could get any girl you wanted. Hell, they always wanted you. Why couldn’t you just tell her no? It takes two people, even I know that. Which one of you made the first move?”

  When neither of us said anything he asked again. “Tell me who started this.” He screamed.

  I walked toward them. “I did. Colt told me no, several times.”

  Colt’s face was all scrunched up. Both of them were still breathing like they had just ran for their lives. I stood there looking at the pain on both of their faces. “After the accident everyone blamed me. Your friends and even your parents called me a murderer. Everyone on campus stopped being my friend. I had to see a shrink after I tried to kill myself. I spent every day in the hospital because I believed I put you in there. I felt so guilty that I couldn’t let myself live.”

  I looked up at both of them and then continued my story. “When Colt came to town, he didn’t judge me like everyone else. After the party where I got jumped by Heather and her slutty friends, Colt took me back to the carriage house and stitched up my face. He took care of me for days so nobody would see what happened. He listened to me and let me cry over and over about you. He never judged me or asked for anything in return.”

  Colt had his eyes locked on me. He was clenching his jaw, trying to control his temper. I looked back down to the ground. “He never hit on me. We were just friends Ty. He was just doing it for you. But, as the days past and I finally was able to be around someone that didn’t hate me, things changed. I can’t tell you exactly when, but I just wanted to feel wanted.” I walked over to Ty and grabbed his hand. I put the ring in his palm and closed it. He closed his eyes shut and when they opened they were full of tears. “I’m sorry Ty. When you woke up we tried to fight our feelings, but I can’t stop wanting him. I can’t marry you. I hope one day you can forgive me.” I started crying and walked away from both of them. Colt looked at me as I walked past him, but I was still angry.

  “What am I supposed to say?” I heard him asking Colt. “So, you meant well. At some point you went too far man. Did you think about me when you were fucking her? Did you feel bad at all? Because, you don’t have to tell me you couldn’t stop yourself. She is hard to deny. I just can’t understand how you couldn’t stop yourself for me.”

  Obviously, Colt had just had enough! He moved forward depleting the distance between them. “Just stop with your sob story Tyler! For years I have listened to you go on and on about all the girls you were sleeping with behind her back. As she lay there every night cryin’ to me about you, I kept the truth from her. I felt like an asshole lyin’ to her. She felt horrible for sleeping with me, when all the while you had done it to her over and over. Oh and by the way, I really liked how you told her about the women, but made her think they were my conquests and not your own. What the fuck cuz? How could you make me out to be that guy? For someone that wants to be with her forever, you sure have a shitty way of showin’ it.”

  At this point I had turned all the way around. My mouth hung open. Everything made sense now. My tears dried up and I felt so angry.

  “Is it true? All of it?” I turned to face Ty.

  He threw his hands up in the air. “You know what. I am tired of lying. Yes! It’s all true Van. I fucked them all and they kept coming back for more too. You were always so caught up in yourself and school to notice I had needs. If you would have been there for me, it never would have happened.”

  I ran toward him throwing my body at him. He fell down to the ground, but I continued to beat on his chest, until I felt strong hands pulling me off. “Get off me!” I screamed.

  Colt didn’t let go. With one hand he held me back, and with the other he pulled his cousin back up to his feet.

  Ty looked so mad.

  “I hate you. I went through Hell for you.” I screamed.

  Colt continued to hold me back. “Ty, you and I are family. I am real sorry for what I did. I just have to ask. Do you love her enough to want her to be happy? Do you want that for her? After everything? I’ve watched you both grow up. I know you want her to be happy.”

  “Fuck you Colt.” Ty ran his hand through his hair. “Van?”

  I turned to look at him but refused to speak. Everything I had ever known was shattered into pieces.

  “I’m sorry.” His eyes were full of tears. “God I can’t believe I am saying this… Is he really what you want? Do you really love him that much?”

  I ran my fingers into Colt’s and he immediately tightened his grip. I couldn’t speak. I was too choked up between the pain and anger and the alcohol. I nodded my head up and down.

  He looked to Colt. “If you hurt her I will fucking kill you. This is wrong in so many ways.” He held out his hand to his cousin. “We are blood. I might hate you both right this second, but I also love you. This shit hurts, but I guess I deserve it.”

  “Ty.” Colt tried to say something, but Ty stopped him.

  He shook his head. “Van, Colts right for you. I was never ready to settle down. Shit I couldn’t even be faithful after I proposed. That’s why I was leaving the bar tonight. I got halfway down the road and told them to bring me back. I had this feeling in my gut that something bad was going to happen. I came back in the bar and I watched you.”

  He pointed from me to Colt. “I saw you looking at him the way you never once looked at me. I saw your hands all over each other. I’ve danced with my fair share of women, but none of them remotely came close to that show. I don’t even think it was the touching. You were both so in sync with each other. As if that wasn’t enough, I hid and watched my cousin take you in that truck. I should have stopped you, but I couldn’t believe it. For the past week I have tried time and time again to get you to touch me. You just kept pushing me away. I knew there was someone else, but I never realized it was my own family. Someone that I think of as a brother.”

  He pointed to Colt. “And you….I asked you if you knew who she had been with. You lied right to my face. I should have known though. The signs were there. My God ev
en the fucking dog was a sign. No matter how many people were around, all she wanted to do was be around you. How could I have been so damn blind?”

  I put my hand over my mouth. Ty was only about a foot from me and Colt was standing in between us.

  Ty held his hands up and just started yelling. “DAMMIT!”

  He covered his face in his hands for a few minutes while we just stood there quiet. Everyone in the parking lot had been gone even before Colt and I were done our little bit in the truck. We were all alone.

  Finally, Ty looked up. “I just can’t believe this!”

  “So what happens now?” I asked, trying my hardest to change the subject. I knew Ty was confessing his deepest secrets and even though I was very much over him, I felt so betrayed. The last five years were a lie. I needed to get away from him. He was in pain, but right now more than ever I felt like he deserved it.

  “You go home.” Ty announced.

  “What about you?” To be honest I was afraid to be with them in that truck.

  “Van, I just told you I loved you both. You may not want me, but you will always be a part of my family. The best man won right? He knows it’s the truth. How long do you really think I could have gotten away with it? With lying to you and cheating on you? Colt may have kept his mouth shut, but Heather threatened to tell you tonight.” He grabbed my arm and made me look at him. “Van, I am sorry, for everything. When you almost die you look back at your life and wonder if you are on the right track. I can’t keep lying. It hurts so bad right now, I’m not going to lie, but I will get over it.”

  As angry and confused as I was, I leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. “Me too.”

  “Now if you all don’t mind. I would really like to be dropped off at that party. I need to forget about everything that I saw and heard tonight and I’m done with stealing cars.” Ty joked.

  Was he really just going to go out and pick up someone after Colt and I broke his heart? How could I have not seen this side of him? I had been so worried about hurting him.

  I turned to walk toward the truck, but Ty said something so we turned around. He was on his cell phone. “Just come back and get me. No, that isn’t an issue anymore. It doesn’t matter if you pick me up. Hurry up please.” He looked over at us. “You guys don’t have to wait. I have a ride coming.”

  I looked at Colt and then back to Ty. “We will wait. Right Colt?”

  Colt nodded. He started to pull me against him, but Ty held up his hand and started shaking his head. “Guys please. I have seen and heard all I can take tonight. Just wait until I pull away for shit’s sake.”

  I looked at Colt and then walked over to Ty. I reached out my hand and helped him walk with the one crutch he still had against him. “We have been friends since we were little. I need to know that we are going to be okay. I know I hurt you Ty. You have no idea how bad I feel, but you hurt me too. I should have known about the other girls, but I didn’t want to believe it. I feel like such a fool.”

  We were all three too drunk to be discussing any of this.

  He turned to face me and moved a piece of hair out of my face. “I am an asshole Van. For what it is worth, I will always love you. You know I told you all those stories about Colt because I wanted you to think he was the asshole. Every girl wants him and he doesn’t even care. I figured one day he would come visit and I wanted to make sure he never had a chance.”

  We both laughed. “Yeah, I wasn’t very nice to him at first. He took it really hard too. Asking me who the heck told me such crap.”

  “At least it worked for a little while.” He said.

  “Yeah, I guess.”

  I saw a car pulling into the lot. Ty turned to me as Colt walked over with his other crutch. “I can’t believe this is really happening.” I said.

  Ty took my hand and kissed it. “I always said I will give you your forever.” He pointed to Colt. “If it wasn’t for my accident you never would have found it. I love you Van. See you tomorrow.”

  I held my hand up and watched as he climbed into Heather’s car. I didn’t know what hurt worse. The fact that he had cheated so many times, or that she was the one to come save the day. I turned around and saw Colt holding out his hand. I didn’t waste any time. My hand met his and we walked to the truck. I had to laugh when I got to the door and saw my underwear on the seat.

  “Well that would have been a riot.” Colt joked.

  We sat there for a second. “Why didn’t you just tell me the truth? Would you really have left knowing I was making the wrong choice?”

  He put his head on the steering wheel. “Savanna, at first he was my family. I couldn’t betray that. I was trying to protect you both. Once I had told you one thing I couldn’t go back and tell you something different. Besides, I didn’t want you to choose me because he cheated. I wanted you to love me because of who I was to you.”

  “I get it. It sucks, but I get it.”

  “Savanna, I need to know if you will consider comin’ home with me next month. I can’t stay here. I have a house in Kentucky. My parents are there. I know you are in school here and I can’t ask you to quit.”

  He was right. Ty was actually the smallest problem. I couldn’t finish college without my scholarship. This wasn’t something I could decide after everything that happened tonight. “Take me home. We can talk tomorrow.”

  Chapter 28

  Colt

  Savanna and I didn’t talk much on the way home from the bar. It was only about a ten minute ride and I knew she had a lot on her mind. Mix that with a bunch of alcohol and she was all messed up with emotions. We got out of the truck and noticed that the lights were off in the main house. I put my arm around her and walked her straight into the carriage house. Sam greeted us then went flying outside to relieve herself.

  Savanna walked inside like a zombie and plopped down on the couch. She stared at the television, even with it turned off. I kneeled down in front of her. “Darlin’ you okay?”

  She nodded her head, but wouldn’t speak. I stood up and picked her up in my arms. She wrapped her arms around me as I carried her to the bed. I sat her down and started taking off her shirt. Once I had it off, I grabbed a t-shirt. She let me unhook her bra and put the t-shirt on. She even stood up and let me take off her skirt and replace it with a pair of boxers.

  I reached over and pulled down the covers so she could climb into bed.

  After letting Sam back in and checking on Savanna, I decided to get a shower. I wanted this whole charade to be over, but I had no idea it was going to go down the way it did. Savanna was in shock. I hated her hearing that I had kept Tyler’s secret life from her. He was my blood and at first I had no idea that she and I would become involved.

  Once I got in the shower, I stood there letting the water fall down on me. I knew I still had to deal with the repercussions of getting involved with Savanna. Ty wasn’t going to wake up tomorrow and be as calm as he appeared to be tonight. He was drunk and although a bunch of truths came out, the effects of the alcohol kept either of them from rationalizing.

  When I turned off the water and opened the curtain, I found Savanna with her head in the toilet. The sound of her throwing up filled the room. She must have just come into the bathroom, because her vomiting was pretty loud.

  I grabbed a towel before sliding down on the floor behind her. I held her hair and even held my nose while she continued to throw up all of the liquor she had consumed,

  When she finally seemed like she got it all out, I grabbed a wet rag and rubbed it all over her face. She smiled and stood up. I reached in the cabinet and found what she was looking for. Her toothbrush was one thing I hadn’t packed.

  She stood there watching me as she cleaned her teeth. After her final spit, she turned to me, wrapping her arms around me. “You always take care of me.”

  “It’s because I am crazy about you.”

  We walked back into the bedroom and lay down side by side. After a few minutes Savanna came closer and put half of h
er body over mine. I liked having her so close, especially after everything tonight.

  I stroked her back with my fingers. “Where do you see yourself in five years?”

  She shrugged. “I always pictured being married to Ty. I figured we would start a family and live close to our families. He was always a part of my plans so I never considered I had other choices.”

  “When I graduated college, I didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life. I wanted to run a company and live in the city for as long as I could remember, but when the time came to do it, I wanted to make my family proud. I do the books for my father and a few other farms back home. I have my own house and my own parcel of property off my parent’s farm. I will never be rich, but I do well for myself considering I don’t have a mortgage. Savanna, whatever you decide, I want you to know that I never thought I was missin’ anything in my life until I got to know you.”

  “I turn twenty five next month. I see you and I know I am ready to settle down and start a family, but I also know that you are only turnin’ twenty and askin’ you to make a decision like this aint very fair. If you need to stay here and finish school, I will understand. It will be hard, but we can get through it.”

  Savanna finally smiled. “I believe you.”

  “Does that mean you would consider having that future with me?” I asked.

  She smiled and looked up at me. “Are you offering?”

  “I think I am.”

  “Then maybe I will consider it.” She said as she leaned up and kissed me.

  A few more minutes passed. I started to let myself fall asleep, but Savanna startled me. “Will he be okay?”

  “Who? Ty?”

  “Yeah.”

  I kissed the top of her head. “He will be fine Darlin’. He just needs some time. I think you both need time to assess everything that happened last night or this morning for that matter.”

  “I can’t believe he caught us, or the fact that we walked out to that parking lot and got it on. God, it doesn’t matter if he didn’t love me. Seeing that with your own eyes has to hurt.”