Big Girls Don't Cry

by Brenda Novak

  “Tell him to come pick it up,” he insisted. “I’ll buy you another dog tonight. A bassett.”

  The deep sense of loss Reenie felt at Bailey’s passing suddenly reasserted itself, and the tears began to flow. “I don’t want another bassett,” she whispered.

  “Then, I’ll get you whatever you want. Just—”

  “Keith, stop,” Lucky interrupted. “Reenie’s already grieving enough.”

  Celeste put her arm around Reenie and patted her sympathetically. “I know how much you loved Bailey, honey,” she said. “I know.”

  After feeling older than her years for so many months, Reenie suddenly felt very young. She wanted to turn her face into her mother’s shoulder, to cry in the brokenhearted way of a child. For everything. For Liz and Mica and Christopher. For Bailey. Even for the fact that living at the farm was nothing like she’d imagined it when she’d pictured buying the property with Keith.

  “I’m sorry,” her mother said, but before anyone could add anything else, a new voice rose from the direction of the driveway.

  “Hello? Anyone home?”

  It was Isaac.

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  A SPLIT SECOND AFTER he spoke, Isaac rounded the corner of the house to find himself facing not only Reenie and the girls, but Celeste, Lucky and Keith, as well. Keith’s being there came as no surprise. His Jeep was parked in the driveway. But Isaac hadn’t expected Celeste or Lucky.

  Not good timing. He knew that instantly and hesitated, but only for a half step. He’d committed himself when he’d called out his greeting, couldn’t turn back now. Besides, he’d worried about Reenie all day. He wanted to make sure she was okay no matter who was around.

  He took in the fact that she was crying, and that her mother was trying to console her. “You okay?”

  He got the impression she wanted to come to him and bury her face in his chest. Or maybe that was what he wanted. Regardless, she couldn’t do it, and he couldn’t invite it. Not with the girls and everyone else around. Besides, he’d already stretched his agreement with Liz about as far as he could.

  Pulling away from her mother, she nodded.

  “I’m glad you’re here,” Keith said, breaking the awkward silence. “Now, you can take your puppy home with you.”

  Jennifer sidled closer to her mother. Isabella paused from her play. “Take the puppy? No, Daddy. He’s ours.”

  “I’ll get you one myself,” he insisted. “A better one.”

  “We like this one,” Jennifer said softly.

  “He’s funny,” Angela added.

  “He’s a gift,” Isaac said. “He stays here unless Reenie doesn’t want him.”

  “You think you can give my family a dog, even if I say no?” Keith snapped.

  “I think that’s up to Reenie,” Isaac said.

  “Well, you’re wrong. I still have a say. You come around here again and I’ll—”

  “What, Keith? Maybe it’s time you and I slip off somewhere alone and set a few things straight?” He spoke as amiably as possible and kept a smile on his face for the benefit of the children, but he knew the adults weren’t fooled. A direct confrontation between him and his ex-brother-in-law was long overdue.

  Celeste grabbed Keith’s arm to keep him by her side. “No. I’m sure that won’t solve anything.”

  “Keith, isn’t the situation bad enough without letting your jealousy make things worse?” Lucky asked.

  Jerking away from Celeste, Keith whirled around to glare at her. “What makes you think you can stick your nose into it, Lucky?” he challenged. “You’re no sister to Reenie. You didn’t even know her until—”

  “Keith!” Reenie shouted, but he wasn’t finished yet.

  “This isn’t fair. Garth is your husband,” he said to Celeste. “And your father,” he said to Reenie and Lucky. “All three of you love him.”

  “This doesn’t have anything to do with—” Reenie started.

  “You’re proud to be connected to him,” he went on, ignoring the interruption. “Yet he made a mistake twenty-something years ago, the same mistake I made. He screwed another woman.”

  Reenie’s eyes darted quickly to their children, but he didn’t stop.

  “So what? It was bad. But no one crucified him for it. You stuck by him even after you found out!”

  Screwed another woman? A red haze descended over Isaac’s vision and his right hand curled into a fist. “Be careful,” he warned. “That’s my sister you’re talking about.”

  Reenie moved closer to him. “Isaac, no. The girls are here.”

  He struggled to control his anger.

  “It was her fault,” Keith continued. “Liz…Liz wouldn’t go away. She got pregnant, and then…”

  “You’re blaming her?” Isaac cried. “God, Keith, she didn’t even know you were—” Feeling Reenie’s hand on his arm, and the attention of all three girls as well, Isaac bit back the rest of that statement. “You have a lot of nerve,” he said, keeping his voice low.

  Keith jutted out his chest in a challenging, belligerent stance and glanced from Celeste to Lucky to Reenie. But when he finally looked at Isaac, and their eyes met, he lowered his head. “No, it’s not her fault,” he said softly. “Maybe that’s the worst part of it.” Throwing the shovel on the ground, he started for the gate.

  “He’s hurting so badly he can’t help himself,” Celeste explained, obviously torn.

  Reenie’s expression was unreadable as she watched him go. But Isabella jumped up and ran after him. “Are you leaving, Daddy?” she called. “Daddy?”

  Isaac thought Keith was going to ignore her and continue on his way. But he paused near the gate, swung his daughter up in his arms and buried his face in her neck. Isaac’s own anger dissipated as he sensed Keith’s recognition of his tremendous loss.

  After a few moments, Keith put Isabella down again and disappeared around the side of the house.

  “He knows it’s over,” Celeste said sadly.

  Isaac agreed. He’d seen the realization in Keith’s eyes.

  They fell silent as the Jeep’s engine started up, then listened to the sound fade as Keith drove away.

  Isaac let his breath out. “Do you want me to take the puppy back?” he asked.

  Reenie crouched to pat the dog. “No. I, for one, am happy he’s here.” She closed her eyes as he licked her cheeks. “And I’m even happier that you’re here.”

  Lucky’s eyes widened as if the candidness of Reenie’s statement came as quite a surprise. But she quickly recovered. “Me, too,” she said brightly. “Now that Keith’s gone, we could use your help.”

  * * *

  THE NEXT DAY, Elizabeth and her children were coming out of the Arctic Flyer when they passed Reenie and her girls going in. As soon as Liz realized who it was, she averted her eyes, expecting to walk on by as though Reenie and her children didn’t exist, as usual. Their relationship had changed slightly since the talent show, but they’d been ignoring each other for so long it had become habit.

  To Liz’s surprise, Reenie touched her arm and offered her a tired smile. “Hi, Liz.”

  Liz hesitated for a brief moment. Dressed in a coral-colored sweater, dark denim jeans and a pair of stylish boots, Reenie looked nice. But there were dark smudges under her eyes that indicated she might not be feeling as good as she looked. Remembering what Isaac had said about her dog, Liz considered offering some words of comfort, but settled for nodding politely. “Hello.”

  Simple though this exchange was, Mica, Christopher, Jennifer, Angela and Isabella gaped at each other as though fireworks had just burst across the sky. Then Isabella giggled behind her hand at a funny face Christopher made and Mica and Angela exchanged smiles.

  “Why are you acting so smug?” Liz asked Mica after the door to the restaurant swung shut and they made their way to the Esplanade.

  “What’s smug?” Mica asked.

  “Pleased with yourself.”

  “I’m not…pleased with myself.”
<
br />   “What’s going on, then?”

  “Nothing.”

  They climbed into the SUV and Liz backed out of her parking space. As she twisted to check behind her, she saw her daughter give a little finger wave to Angela, who was still inside the restaurant. Glancing over to see how this action might be received, she watched Angela wave in return.

  Reenie wasn’t around to see it. Liz guessed she was in line to order.

  Stopping immediately, even though she was blocking the entrance to the drive-through, Liz studied her daughter. “Are you and Angela becoming friends?” she asked.

  Mica continued to stare out the window, twirling the ends of her hair, which she often did when concentrating.

  “Mica?”

  Finally her eyes darted to Liz’s face, but she wouldn’t maintain eye contact. “If we were, would that make you unhappy?” she asked.

  How to respond? Would it make her unhappy? Reenie was her rival. At the same time, Liz wanted to let go of the past and live again, didn’t she? To quit hovering at the edges of this community and become part of it?

  She just wasn’t confident she could do that. “I don’t think so.”

  “But you’re not sure?”

  “Not quite,” she admitted.

  “They had to put their dog to sleep,” Mica said.

  “Now you’re trying to play on my sympathy?” Liz replied.

  “To sleep? What does that mean?” Christopher asked.

  “He was old and very sick,” Liz explained. “They had to put him out of his misery.”

  “You mean kill him?” he cried.

  Liz searched for a softer way to state it. “He was dying. They stopped his pain.”

  “How did it go?” Mica asked.

  “I have no idea,” Liz replied. “Do you?”

  “Not yet.”

  “Because you haven’t been to school since it happened?”

  She nodded. “I feel bad for them.”

  Someone turned into the parking lot, and Liz pulled up to get out of the way. “So you are friends,” she said, adjusting her rearview mirror to be able to see her daughter’s face.

  “Isaac likes her, too,” Mica said defensively. “And he likes Isabella and Jennifer. Even Reenie.”

  “How can you tell?” Liz asked.

  She took a moment to consider. “Never mind.”

  “Come on, Mica.”

  She blew out an exaggerated sigh. “I saw a message on his computer.”

  Liz knew she had no business delving into her brother’s personal affairs, but she couldn’t help asking. “From Reenie?”

  “The address had her name in it.”

  “What’d it say?”

  “Thanks for the puppy.”

  Liz told herself she should be upset. She’d asked Isaac not to have any contact with Reenie, and he’d gone ahead and given her a puppy.

  But she wasn’t angry. She only wondered if that was a big enough breach of The Agreement to justify letting herself call Dave.

  * * *

  “I HEARD YOU GAVE Reenie a dog,” Liz said, putting coffee on to brew.

  Isaac glanced up from the newspaper he’d been reading while eating a quick bowl of cold cereal. It had been a long weekend. Other than stopping by to check on Reenie after her visit to the vet, Isaac had managed to get back on track and keep his distance from the “other woman” in Liz’s life. But he couldn’t give himself a lot of credit for that. He’d spent much of his time replaying those few seconds when he was kissing Reenie at her doorstep—and longing to do it again. He’d lain awake at night, thinking about how she might respond if he were to kiss her again. And on Saturday, he’d gone to The Honky Tonk, then the diner, then the Arctic Flyer, and the new Dundee Inn & Steakhouse, in the hope of “accidentally” bumping into her. Liz couldn’t blame him for a random meeting, right?

  Fortunately for his conscience, that hadn’t worked out. He’d made it all the way to Monday without so much as responding to Reenie’s quick note of thanks for the puppy. But maybe that was because he knew he’d be seeing her this morning, regardless. It was his first day teaching at the high school.

  “Who told you that? Keith?” he asked.

  “Does he know?”

  “He was there. So were Celeste and Lucky. Between the three of them, I’m sure half the town has heard by now.”

  “What made you get involved?” she asked.

  He rattled his paper as he turned the page, hoping she’d get the hint that he really didn’t want to examine the reasons behind his actions. “It wasn’t a big deal.” He checked his watch. “Want me to wake the kids? It’s getting pretty late.”

  “No, I’ll take care of that.” She moved to the table and gently pulled his paper down. “We were talking about Reenie. I want you to know that I consider puppy-giving a significant breach of our agreement.”

  “She had to put her dog to sleep, Liz.”

  “Don’t play on my sympathy. It’s still a significant breach.”

  Of course he knew that, but…“How significant?”

  “I get to call Dave.”

  “No way!”

  “Why not? You bought her a puppy! And you gave it to her in front of three other people.”

  She had a point. “Okay,” he said. “One call. But that’s it. Then we’re even, and we start fresh.”

  When she smiled, the relief he saw in her face made him more than a little nervous. He couldn’t let her get hurt yet again. “Liz, he’s too young for you.”

  “And Reenie’s perfect for you? What, are you going to write her from Africa, and then from Chicago after that? Or are you just going to have a fling with her whenever you come to visit me?”

  He drew a deep breath, finished his orange juice and stood. “Right. It’s good we have these little talks every now and then.”

  She laughed, which made her eyes sparkle, and he realized that he hadn’t seen her looking so happy for months—not since she’d found out about Keith and Reenie. He was glad to know she was healing, that she’d be okay after he left. But for him, her recovery meant both good and bad news. The good news was that, when his grant came through, he could really go.

  Unfortunately, that was also the bad news.

  * * *

  AT THE MONDAY-MORNING staff meeting, Reenie gave up her usual seat next to Beth for a spot at the back of the room, as far away from Isaac as possible. In the past week, she’d been excited to work with him. But now she wasn’t so sure it’d be a good thing. At least for her. She’d e-mailed him twice after he gave her the puppy, and he hadn’t responded.

  What was going on with him? Why would he do something so nice, then immediately withdraw? Was he playing games? When he’d brought her home from The Honky Tonk, he’d done the same thing—led her to believe he was interested in her, then backed away.

  Oh well, it was all for the best, Reenie told herself. Maybe life at the farm was lonely, and maybe Isaac made her heart race, but he’d never give up his research for anyone. The most Reenie could hope for from him was a few months of stimulating conversation, comfortable companionship and hot sex—

  Wait a second…that wouldn’t be too bad, would it?

  “I was thinking we should hold an assembly where Isaac puts on a slide show to give the students a taste of what field research is like,” Guy was saying, at the front. “We need to take advantage of having a man like him on staff. We may never have such an opportunity again. So if you can think of anything else along these lines, please don’t hesitate to suggest it.”

  The principal had been heaping praise on Isaac for ten straight minutes. Reenie clenched her jaw as her patience grew thin.

  “We’re so lucky Isaac—or I should say Dr. Russell—feels our little school is worthy of his assistance,” Guy continued. “Not many high schools in our state can claim a teacher of such renown.”

  Suddenly Reenie couldn’t take any more. “Oh, for crying out loud, working here beats hauling sacks at the feed store, doesn�
�t it?” she said.

  Everyone turned to gape at her. “Reenie!” Deborah whispered harshly.

  “What?” she said. “Can we get on with the meeting? I have things to do in my classroom.”

  Isaac looked over his shoulder. He should’ve been offended by her tone, if not her words, but when their eyes met, a slow grin curved his lips.

  “Don’t mind Reenie,” said Deborah, who was sitting directly behind him. “She didn’t want you to work here in the first place.”

  His eyebrows lifted. “Somehow that doesn’t surprise me.”

  There were a few chuckles. Reenie felt her cheeks flush but she challenged Isaac’s gaze anyway. She’d almost fallen for him. She’d been thinking of him constantly, waiting for the phone to ring, checking her e-mail….

  “Maybe I’ll be able to convince her that I’m not so bad,” he added mildly.

  “Well, if you can’t, don’t beat yourself up over it,” Deborah said. “No one’s as stubborn as Reenie.”

  Reenie narrowed her eyes. Obviously, Deborah was trying to impress Isaac. “Why don’t you mind your own business, Deborah?” she said.

  “This is my business,” she responded. “I work here, too. And I, for one, am glad that Dr. Russell has joined our staff.” She grinned sweetly at him.

  “Come on, people,” Guy said. “Let’s…uh…let’s…” Flustered by the sudden conflict, he shuffled through his papers as though searching for where he’d left off.

  “Go?” Reenie volunteered. “The bell’s about to ring.”

  He checked the clock. “Right. Let’s get to work. Deborah, would you show Isaac to his room?”

  “Of course,” she said, beaming. “I teach Honors English, so I’m in the building across from you.”

  Reenie swallowed a sigh. It was only mid-April. This was going to be a long two months after all.

  * * *

  ISAAC COULD HEAR Reenie’s voice in the next room, lecturing about geometric proofs. Earlier, she’d closed the doors that led into their adjoining supply closet, on both sides, but he didn’t have any classes the last two periods of the day so he’d opened them up again. He liked listening to her, enjoyed the passion in her voice when she tried to convince her students of the necessity to study hard for the SAT’s. She was a good teacher.