“Why?”
“For you. For me. For everyone who worked so hard to make our project a success. We owe it to them, don’t we? It might be … I don’t know what’s going to happen. What if something goes wrong? What if they can’t …? I have to finish everything I promised I’d do first in case I don’t get another chance.”
Calvin is quiet for a minute.
“You’re going to be okay.”
“What if you’re wrong?” Brandon hesitates for several seconds. “What if something goes wrong?”
“I know you and I know Dave. You’re not going to go to some … Your doctors will know what they’re doing.”
“And?” Brandon looks down and stares at his shoes for a minute. “They could still … Something could go wrong. I could … I could still die.”
“Don’t you …”
“No. I could. Or I could end up not being able to work again or … or … What if they can’t …? I could end up having the baby. I might never get to … There are so many things that mean I might not get to go back to work for such a long time, if ever again. I have to do this. I have to go.”
“Fine. Fine! But don’t you dare say I didn’t warn you how dangerous it could be, how badly you could hurt yourself if you overexert yourself. You know what your doctor said. You could end up … I know you don’t want this baby, but is that how you want its life to end? Making you bleed to death from the inside?”
“That’s not … It won’t … I’ll be careful.”
“Ugh.” Calvin growls loudly. “Don’t you listen?”
Brandon almost laughs at that.
“Of all the people to get a lecture on listening from, I never thought it’d be you.”
“God, don’t … You’re an idiot, you know, and I don’t know why I’m saying any of this because you’ve already made up your mind, haven’t you? I could never have changed your mind, right?”
“Right.”
Calvin sighs heavily.
“I’ll be watching you, the whole day, and you better be careful.”
“Promise.”
“I mean it. In none of the futures I had planned for myself did I lose you yet so you’re going to make damn sure that you get through all of this, okay?”
“Okay. Okay.” Brandon takes a few deep breaths. “But …”
“No buts. You’re going to be fine.” Calvin doesn’t realize he’s been crying until he notices the tears falling onto the floor. He quickly wipes his eyes. “You have to look horrible in a suit when I get married because no one should steal focus from me. You have to get sad when I stop coming to see you because I’m properly living with George. You have to fight with Bill and Mark over who gets to be godfather to all my babies. You have to … Just … You have to be there to be my best friend still.”
“I promised, didn’t I?”
“Yeah, well … I just want you to be okay so no more talking about dying and let’s just pretend no one cried, yeah?”
“Deal.” Brandon wipes his own eyes. “Thank you. It means a lot that you care so much. It hasn’t … We haven’t always …”
“That’s done now. It’s all in the past so let’s just do better in the future. You’re important to me and I don’t let the important people go.”
“I know. You’re important to me too.”
“Okay. I guess I’ll see you when you get there then.”
***
Brandon is one of the last to arrive at the hotel for conference and he’s a little surprised to find out that he’s going to be rooming with Calvin.
“Do you not trust me or something?”
“Oh, hey.” Calvin pushes himself up into a sitting position (he had been sprawled across the bed, watching television) and looks over at Brandon. “What?”
“They said you wanted to share with me.” Brandon throws his bag down on the floor with a little bit more force than he’d really intended. “Why? We could have had our own rooms.”
“Hey, we always share at …”
“Don’t give me that.”
“Okay.” Calvin turns off the television. “I just wanted to be here so I could keep an eye on you the whole time.”
“Right. So you don’t trust me?”
“No.” Calvin’s eyes widen slightly. “I mean, it’s not that - of course I trust you, but …”
“What?”
“I promised that I’d watch out for you. I can’t do that if you’re not right here with me, can I?”
“I’m a grown man. I don’t need a fucking babysitter.”
“I’m just trying to help you. I want to make sure that you’re okay, that nothing happens to you, that you get through all of this.”
“Yeah, well …” Brandon huffs lightly. He walks over and starts pulling his belongings out of his bag.
“I’m just trying to …”
“Help. Yeah, I know.” Brandon just about resists the urge to roll his eyes. “I don’t need it.”
“I thought if you were here, you could talk about it, if you wanted to.”
“Well, I don’t want to talk about it.” Brandon grabs something from his bag and throws it on the floor. “I don’t even want to think about it. I’m tired of thinking about it.” He stops and sighs lightly. “It’s the right choice, I know that. I’m not scared about doing it. I’m just … I can’t move on, I can’t do anything, until it’s over and I’m so tired of waiting. I just want it over with.”
“When …” Calvin looks down and wrings his hands together. “When do you … When is it?”
“It’s Friday, after we get back.” Brandon sits down on the end of his bed and puts his head in his hands. “I’m missing that weekend with the kids so I have the time to recover.”
“Do they know?”
Brandon shakes his head.
“I couldn’t … No, they don’t know. At least, they don’t know that it’s this, but they know that something’s happening and I need the time to recover.”
“And Jill? Does she know?”
“Oh, yeah.” Brandon smiles ruefully. “Like she needs to hate me anymore than she already does.” He shakes his head. “No, I can’t tell her.”
“I get why you can’t tell the kids, but don’t you think this is the kind of thing that Jill should know about?”
“I don’t … I can’t tell her. I don’t want to give her any reason to get more angry with me. I don’t know what she’d do and … I just can’t risk that.”
Calvin studies Brandon carefully for a minute and he’s sure he works out.
“She might yell at you, call you names, call you worse names behind your back and … well, probably a lot more too. I’m sure she would never stop you seeing them, though.”
“You don’t know her, do you?”
“You’re still their dad and I’m sure that counts for a lot with her. She might be angry, but she’s not heartless.”
“I … I don’t know.”
Calvin stands up and walks over so that he can sit down next to Brandon on the bed. He puts a hand on Brandon’s shoulder.
“Maybe you don’t have to tell her everything, but you should tell her that it’s more serious than … more serious than what you’ve already told her.”
“I …” Brandon looks down. “Maybe. Probably. I just don’t know if I can do it.”
“Well, whatever you do, you’re going to be okay.” Calvin squeezes Brandon’s shoulder gently.
“With you hovering around, I don’t have much of a choice, do I?”
“Now you’re getting it.”
***
“Why the hell aren’t you here?”
“I thought you said you definitely weren’t going to win. You don’t need me.”
“Not for me, dumbass - for Brandon.”
“Dumbass?”
“Yes, I’m going all American. What of it?” Calvin huffs lightly. “Anyway, that’s not the point. Why aren’t you here, David?”
“You’re full-naming me now?”
“You’re going to give me that? I don’t have the time. Why aren’t you here?”
David doesn’t really know how to respond.
“Well? I’m waiting.”
“I …” David hangs his head. “I don’t know if I can.”
“What? You f …” Calvin growls lightly. “Why? Why aren’t you here?”
David squeezes his eyes shut and takes several deep breaths.
“When I look at him, I …”
“What? What the hell …”
“Are you going to let me finish?” David wipes his eyes. “If you’re going to jump to your own conclusions, then I might as well just not say anything.”
“Okay.” Calvin sighs heavily. “Go ahead.”
David is quiet for a minute or so before speaking.
“Whenever I see him, all I can think about is how much he must hate me.”
“What? Are you …”
“Calvin.”
“Okay. Okay!” Calvin rolls his eyes. “But you know he didn’t make that baby on his own, right? Like you got to take some of the blame. You can’t just …”
“Calvin!”
“Okay!” Calvin takes a deep breath. “I’m trying here, but …”
“You’ve already taken his side?”
“There’s no sides, Dave. I want both of you to be okay so give me a reason. Why do you think he hates you?”
“Because I keep messing up his life. This is just the latest in a long line of things, but it’s probably the worst.”
“He’s hardly been perfect either, but you I thought you were finally working on all of that? I thought this was a new start for you guys?”
“Yeah, but this isn’t like anything else we’ve ever faced. This is a baby.”
“But it’s a baby you’re not having. I thought …” Calvin frowns slightly. “That is … You’re still … That’s still happening, isn’t it?”
“Yeah, we’re still not having the baby.” David shakes his head - it should be harder to say something like that. “It’s the right thing for us - we wouldn’t do well with a baby, not now.”
“That’s what Brandon said to me too. If you both think that, then why would you think he hates you?”
“Because it isn’t just as simple as not having the baby and moving on. There’s recovery time and dealing with all the emotional stuff after and … and that’s if it goes well.”
“Don’t you do that, too. I already had to give Brandon this lecture - everything is going to be fine and I won’t have you thinking otherwise and I certainly won’t have you talking about it.”
David almost laughs - that sounds like Calvin all over.
“That’s … I’m glad you’re there to say that, to keep us thinking like that, but it still doesn’t mean it’s easy. Even if it does all go well, we might not make it work, we might be … Because of this, I might be making him miserable all over again and I don’t want to do that. I don’t want to mess things up for him again.”
“Okay, that’s … Well, it’s good that you’re like that, but you do know that you’re making him sad now, right? He’s suffering through all this shit, probably the hardest things in his life, and he’s doing it alone because you’re not here. Yeah, I’m here for him to talk to and I guess he’s got Ryan too, but I don’t think it’s that easy for them to talk about something like this. He isn’t talking to his mom about it and his supervisor Bracksley’s no help. You’re the only one who can really understand how he’s feeling.”
“I can’t. This baby isn’t living inside of me.”
“No, but it’s still yours. You’re still giving something up here, the same kind of thing he’s giving up. No one else is going to know what it’s like to not have this baby. It’s not him giving up this baby - it’s both of you. You can’t deal with it separately - you have to do it together and that’s hardly possible when you’re not even seeing each other. You should be here - Brandon needs you and obviously you’ve got issues that I’m sure he’s the only one that can help you deal with.”
“Yeah, but if …”
“No. Get here. It doesn’t matter how scared you are - you need to be with him.”
“Okay, but …”
“I will call you every ten … no, every five. I will call you every five minutes at least until you agree, you know.”
“Yeah, I know.” David smiles fondly. “I’ll be there.”
“When?”
“Soon. I promise.”
“You have to make it before we leave and when I’m here just so I know you’re not lying.”
“I promise.”
“Good.” Calvin lets out a brief sigh of relief. “So apart from this, how are you?”
“Well, there is something I feel like I need to talk to you about now.”
“Shoot.”
“This new way you’re speaking?”
“What about it?”
“We need to get you out of here stat.”
***
Calvin isn’t really surprised that he doesn’t see David for the rest of the afternoon - David does have his own perfectly legitimate things to be doing and so does Brandon. He’s not worried yet, but that doesn’t stop him from sending David a few not so subtle reminder texts though. He’s quite content with the situation when he heads down the dinner that night. He eats a lot, probably more than usual, but that’s perfectly normal at times like this. He spends most of the time talking to Brandon, even though he’s sure that Brandon is getting tired of his constant hovering. He still gets a little annoyed when Brandon stops listening to him and starts looking at something behind him.
“What?”
“Dave.”
Calvin turns around, expecting to see Bracksley hovering around, waiting to usher them to some serious meeting, but instead he sees David stood just outside the room. He smiles - he did that - and turns back to look at Brandon. He doesn’t get the chance to say anything thought because Brandon is already up and walking over to David. He watches Brandon and David for a few minutes (they’re talking and crying a little and hugging and then they’re going upstairs and everything’s okay) and then leans back.
“Just call me Mark Calvin, Relationship Saver.”
“Worst superhero ever.”
Calvin slowly turns towards Alex and glares.
“Clearly, you haven’t heard of Aquaman. Also, shut up.” Calvin reaches out and lightly smacks Alex’s arm. “I got you and Trevor back together, didn’t I?”
“That doesn’t count - we broke up again three days later.”
“That has more to do with your issues than with my frankly awesome abilities.”
“Whatever you say.”
***
Calvin hangs around downstairs for as long as he can so he can give Brandon and David some more time alone to talk about everything that they need to talk about, but eventually he does have to go up to bed. He pushes the door open and walks into the room. He avoids looking over to the beds - he was going to cover his eyes, but knowing his luck he’d end up banging into something and he really doesn’t want to have to explain any injuries that might result from that.
“What are you doing?”
Calvin snaps out of his musings when he hears David speak. He looks up to realize that he’s almost walking into the bathroom by mistake. He shrugs lightly and looks over to see Brandon and David curled up together on Brandon’s bed. He winces slightly.
“I’m thrilled you’re all …” Calvin waves his hand in the general direction of Brandon and David, “but it’s getting late and Bracksley’s all threaten-y and … well … you know.” He points to the bathroom. “I’m going to hide in there while you finish making out and then …”
“Making out?” Brandon stares at Calvin for a minute before slowly turning to face David. “You’re right - we do need to get him out of there.”
“Hey.” Calvin grabs his jacket from a hook by the door and throws it across the room - it doesn’t land anywhere near Brandon or David, let alone
actually hit them. “I’m happy there, leave me alone. Besides, I fixed you so you owe me. I’m going to give you five more minutes before I tell on you, Dave, and that will be fine because you would be miserable if it weren’t for me.” He nods definitively and then wanders into the bathroom.
“Thank you, by the way,” David calls out before the door bangs shut behind Calvin.
“You’re welcome!”
***
Brandon groans loudly when Calvin sidles up next to him - this is at least the eighth time in the last hour. He glances to the side and narrows his gaze slightly.
“I thought you trusted me.”
“What?” Calvin frowns slightly. “Oh. This isn’t … Are you okay, though?”
“Calvin.”
“Okay. Okay. I just thought I should check one last time before I go.”
“Go? Go where?”
“Hotel.” Calvin shrugs. “I’m done with this stupid meeting.”
“You’re giving up?”
“No. Well, technically I am, I suppose, but it’s not like I’m going to be any good and it’s not like I’ll really be any help so I might as well head back, eat some cookies and wait for my boyfriend to show up.”
Brandon eyes Calvin suspiciously.
“Is there something else going on?”
Calvin avoids Brandon’s gaze for a few seconds before speaking again.
“I’m tired. Not just work tired or end of a long year tired, but like I’m not getting enough sleep even though I slept the entire night kind of tired.”
Brandon takes a minute to process all of that. He opens and closes his mouth a few times before speaking.
“Are you okay?”
Calvin smiles fondly and looks up at Brandon.
“Maybe I’m getting sick. I don’t really know. I just feel like it’s best if I stop now because I might end up feeling worse if I try to stay till the end.”
“Well, yes, but … Just be okay, yeah?”
“Sure. And you stay upright.” Calvin reaches out and gently squeezes Brandon’s shoulder. “I might be finished with this, but don’t think I won’t know exactly what’s going on.”
“Oh, I’m sure you will.”
***
The Omega's Finest Baby: An Mpreg Romance (Unexpected Book 2) Page 2
