Relief, guilt and finally uncertainty scrolled across Nate’s face. He shook his head. “I can’t stay here when you’re out there. She’ll be okay now and she’ll sleep most of the day anyway. I know Adam’s watching your back, but I’ll feel better being there myself.”
“She’ll be fine.”
Nikki turned at the sound of Adam’s curt and clipped words while Nate rose from his chair.
Adam moved a few steps closer and shrugged. “At least out of the car she’ll be fine.”
Nikki felt the tension rolling off Nate as he wrapped an arm around her shoulder and studied Adam carefully. “What do you mean?”
Adam shoved his hands into the front pockets of his faded jeans and studied the ground. Finally, he rocked back on his heels and looked at Nate. “I can assure you Nikki is completely safe from any further threats.”
The hair on the back of Nikki’s neck stood on end. “How do you know?”
Adam studied Nikki’s face and a strange mix of emotions she couldn’t decipher emanated from his eyes. He closed the distance between them and stroked his thumb across her cheek, almost as if he were trying to console her. “Remember last night at dinner, Nate and I went to the bar while you and Amber went to the ladies’ room?”
Nikki frowned in confusion but nodded.
Adam slid his hand back into his pocket as the muscle in his jaw tensed. “Tell me what happened when you got back to the table. You had dessert, right? Was it already at the table when you got there or did you order it when you got back?”
Nikki flicked a questioning glance to Nate, who was staring at the floor deep in thought. Tension began to thrum through her body and a chill crept over her skin. She didn’t understand where Adam’s question was leading but she instinctively knew her answer was important. And the weight of that knowledge made her nervous.
She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, replaying the scene in her mind as she began to recap the events. “We ordered and then went to the restroom. On the way, Amber and I passed a waiter carrying a tray full of desserts. I looked at the chocolate silk and told Amber I’d made a huge mistake. I should’ve gotten it instead of the key lime pie. She laughed and said she was thinking the same thing, only in reverse. By the time we’d gotten back to the table we’d agreed to trade off. I ate her chocolate silk and she ate my key lime.”
Adam took a deep breath before flicking his gaze back to Nate. After a long pause, where each man seemed to be studying the other, or trying to reach each other’s minds, Adam shifted his attention back to Nikki. “Where was your mother?”
Nikki frowned and scrunched up her face in confusion. “She waited at the table while we went to the restroom. When we got back she went.”
“What was her reaction when you and Amber switched off desserts? Did she seem upset? Did she try to stop you?”
Nikki folded her arms across her stomach and hitched her hip with a disgusted huff. “She didn’t know. She got up right after we were seated and by the time she came back we’d finished them off.”
Nate dropped his grasp on her shoulders, pushed his hands through his hair and muttered, “Fuck,” as he walked back to Amber’s bed.
She looked back to Adam, who appeared to be in physical pain, then threw her hands up in the air in frustration. “Would you please tell me what the hell is going on? What does dessert have to do with anything?” She switched her focus back to Nate. “And why are you angry? I’m completely lost here.”
Adam took another step toward her and softened his expression. Holding her gaze steadfastly, he said, “Amber ate the dessert you were supposed to eat.”
“Yeah, I just told you that.”
He locked his jaw and ground out, “Your dessert was poisoned with something, Nikki. But you didn’t eat it, Amber did.”
Shock reverberated through her system as she processed this information. Oh. My. God. Someone had tried to poison her. She jerked her head around to look at Amber as tears filled her eyes and a pain lanced through her gut. Shit. She should be the one lying there instead of Amber. And she’d give anything to trade places with her.
“I can’t believe she’d do something like this,” Nate said, shaking his head, incredulous. He stood with hands on hips, feet shoulder-width apart in a battle-ready stance.
Adam slowly nodded. “Your mother’s sick, Nate. She needs help. And she needs it now.”
Nikki was still reeling from the revelation that someone had intentionally tried to poison her when Adam and Nate’s conversation seeped into her tired brain. Her head snapped from Adam to Nate and back to Adam. Heart pounding, breathing shallow, she thought she might pass out from the lack of oxygen. “Are you saying Mama poisoned Amber? While trying to poison me?” Adam nodded while Nate turned his back to her and began a gentle caress of Amber’s face.
She collapsed into Nate’s chair. How could this have happened? How did their mother get this far out of control and her not notice?
She should have seen the warning signs and somehow prevented this from happening. Nate must be furious with her. She stood and touched her fingers to his tense shoulder. “I’m sorry, Nate. I should have been paying closer attention to her. I knew she wasn’t well but…shit.”
She turned her attention to Amber, brushed away a stray lock of hair Nate had missed and whispered through tears, “I’m sorry you got caught up in this.”
“Sis, it’s not your fault. She’s sick. We’ve both known she wasn’t well but I don’t think either of us could’ve ever guessed she’d do something this extreme.” He squeezed her hand, as if to drive his point further home. “Don’t you dare blame yourself for this.”
Emotion clogged her throat and she wrapped her arms around Nate’s neck, thankful for his understanding. She took a few moments to shore up her battered emotions before turning to face Adam. “How, exactly, did you come to this conclusion?”
Adam shrugged. “Once I had a chance to sit down and study the letters, I got the feeling it wasn’t someone who seriously wanted to hurt you, only scare you into not racing. Like anything or anyone would keep you from racing. Even racing illegally,” he added wryly. “When you mentioned your mom’s difficulties in coping I started looking in that direction. I still had every crew member of every team checked out, as well as the competitors, but kept coming up empty.” He smiled. “For such a smart ass you’ve certainly gained the respect of everyone I talked to.”
She wrapped her arms around her waist and rubbed her arms. She knew it was a compliment but she couldn’t take much pride in his praise now. Not when her own mother had tried to poison her and had made an innocent person sick.
“Her body language and expression last night when she heard about Amber told me something was off. That’s why I had you go on to Nate’s and I stayed behind.”
“And she confessed?” Nate asked.
Adam moved his head from side to side in a so-so gesture. “She didn’t come right out and say it, but she said enough to make me sure Nikki’s safe. I’d never take a chance with Nikki’s safety. And I certainly wouldn’t be accusing your mother if I wasn’t a hundred percent positive.”
“Where is she now?” Nikki asked, not at all comfortable with their mother being on her own.
“She’s back in your motor home asleep. I don’t think she slept at all last night. She was probably listening and waiting for you to get sick. Ready to come and take care of you.”
Nikki snorted. “Yeah, and assuage her guilt for poisoning me.”
He flicked his gaze to Amber. “And convince you you were too sick to race. Don’t think it would’ve taken much convincing. Not as sick as she was.”
“Wouldn’t have mattered,” Nate muttered.
At the same time Nikki said, “Don’t underestimate me.”
Nikki turned to her brother and wrapped him in a huge hug. He was the older sibling but she was the one who always felt the need to hold it all together. “I feel horrible this happened. I should have been watching her mo
re closely. And spending more time with her.”
She let go and moved away from him, pushing her fingers through her hair. The overwhelming guilt she’d immediately felt gave way to anger. Anger at her mother and anger with herself for allowing things to get out of control. “How could she do this? Shit, she tried to poison her own daughter.” As bile rose in her throat, she looked at Amber again. “I wish it had been me, instead of Amber, suffering because of our fucked-up family situation.”
“I’m as guilty of missing the signs as you are, Sis. We can’t beat ourselves up for it now. We just need to get her help.”
Nikki nodded, not really in agreement, but not willing to argue the point any longer. “I need to go get my head on straight and get ready to race. You stay here with Amber.”
She turned to Adam and found herself at a loss for words. Between the complicated mix of feelings she had for him, the guilt, anger and betrayal she felt from the unbelievable revelation her mother had tried to poison her and the sadness she felt for Amber, her head was an emotional disaster area.
Adam had made her think it might actually be okay to let someone be there for her, to lean on them and allow them to take care of her. Watching how sweet Nate had been with Amber had only reinforced those feelings. But between his need to dominate and the fact he’d admitted to having a girlfriend, Adam obviously wasn’t the one to fill the role.
Her throat closed up and her chest ached. Needing to leave before she revealed too much, she gave him a sad smile. “Thanks. For everything,” she added, hoping he’d understand all that encompassed. Then, she dropped her head, fought back the sting in her eyes and walked away.
Chapter Nine
Nikki held her hand straight up, flicked her wrist and sent the spoon spinning across the kitchenette where it landed in the sink with a clang. Next, she shifted her gaze to the trashcan and judged the distance. Probably not a good idea to try making that shot. If she missed and the ice cream container landed on its side, she’d have to get up and get it before the remnants ran all over the floor.
And she didn’t intend to budge from her horizontal position on the couch.
She carefully placed the container on the floor, making sure it stayed upright, then stretched out. She propped her head on the armrest and rested a bent leg against the back of the sofa. Nestling down into the soft cushions, she clutched a pillow to her chest and closed her eyes.
As she lay there dozing off and on, she decided there had never been a more fucked-up weekend. The weekend her dad died held the distinction as being the most horrible weekend of her life, but this one took the cake for total and complete fucked-upness.
Considering she’d escaped the weekend without a crash, and had placed second in the finals, it would have been tempting to say the black cloud had lifted and a new kind of relationship was beginning for Kincaid Racing and The Virginia Motorsports Park. But her mother poisoning Amber, and Nikki getting her heart broken were evidence that the black cloud still loomed over them.
And now she was feeling guilty because she’d stayed at the track while Nate had flown back to deal with their mother alone. Her original plan had been to stay overnight and have a leisurely drive back the next day. Nate had insisted she stick with her original plan. At the time, right after the race and the adrenaline crash, she hadn’t had the emotional or physical strength to argue with him. Now that she’d had a little time to rest, and had revived a few of her abused brain cells with a carton of ice cream, she wished she hadn’t agreed.
A quick rap on the side of the coach, followed by the door flinging open, had Nikki on her feet in a fraction of a second, frantically searching for something more lethal than a pillow or the empty ice cream container.
Nate reached to steady her, laughing. “It’s just me, Nik. Damn, settle down.”
“Jesus Christ!” She gasped for air and fell back on the couch. “You scared the shit out of me.” She dropped her head to the back of the sofa and waited for her heart rate to slow and the dizzying adrenaline rush to subside. As everything returned to normal, she lifted her head and glared. “What are you still doing here? I thought you left hours ago.”
Nate settled into the leather recliner, which he considered his, stretched out his long legs and laced his hands behind his head. “I needed to go over some things with Carl since he’ll be handling things at the shop tomorrow and Tuesday. While I waited for the plane, I wanted to come and talk to you about a few things.”
“Well I’m glad you’re still here.” She stood and headed toward the back of the coach. “I was feeling guilty for letting you go back and deal with Mama by yourself.” As she walked through the kitchenette and into her bathroom, she yelled over her shoulder, “I’ll get Jeremy to hook up the car to the back of the coach and I’ll fly back with you. Let me secure a few things and I’ll be ready to go.”
“No, you won’t,” Nate said, following her. “Stay here tonight, enjoy the quiet of the track, take a little bit of time for yourself and drive back tomorrow…with Adam.”
Nikki dropped her toothbrush into the sink and whirled around to face him. “What?”
Nate rubbed the back of his neck and worked his head around in a circle. “Sit down a minute so we can talk.”
She narrowed her eyes and studied him. “What’s going on? Why is Adam coming back here? I’m perfectly capable of driving home by myself.”
He took her by the elbow and led her into the bedroom, pushing slightly and forcing her to sit on the bed. He propped himself in the doorway and crossed his arms. “This doesn’t have anything to do with you driving home. It has everything to do with Adam, and you giving him a chance. He’s a good guy. Shit, he’s a great guy.”
“Wonderful. You date him.”
Nate flashed a quick glimpse of teeth. “Not my type. And besides, he’s only got eyes for you.”
Nikki snorted. What a crock of shit. But it didn’t matter if he did have eyes only for her. There was still the issue of his lifestyle and she didn’t know how she felt about that. She crossed her arms in a defensive gesture. “I don’t think you know your good buddy, Adam, like you think you do. If you really knew what kind of guy he is you wouldn’t be pushing like this.” She shook her head, sorry for Nate because he so overestimated his friend. “You have no idea what you’re suggesting.”
It took Nate several minutes to respond and the longer he looked at her the more his gaze felt like lasers slicing through her. She squirmed from the intensity of his stare and the silence began to roar. Not good.
He scrubbed his hand across his face and sighed. “Yeah, I do know what kind of guy he is.” He paused for a moment, maybe for effect, or maybe to give her time to absorb the full scope of what he was implying before he dropped the big bomb. “And he’s exactly the kind of guy you need.”
Nikki’s mouth dropped open and she stopped breathing. She’d heard her brother’s words but they weren’t speaking the same language. She’d been trying to tell him his friend got off on dominating women. What was he telling her? And what the hell did he mean, he’s exactly the kind of guy she needed?
She dropped her arms and gripped the edge of the mattress. She didn’t make decisions about who she dated based on her brother’s opinion, but this conversation seemed to be about more than dinner and a movie. She leaned forward, thinking maybe if she got closer she would understand better. Articulating each word she said, “Tell me what kind of guy you think he is. And tell me what kind of guy you think I need. And why.”
She’d always found his lopsided grin cute and endearing. Now she found it annoying and disconcerting. Like… Well damn, like Adam’s. “I know Adam is a Dom, and a damn good one.”
She jerked her gaze up to his. He knew?
“I also know you’re like a bulldozer with the guys you date. Adam isn’t going to let you push him around and you need someone like him. Someone stronger than you, to help you with the load you insist on carrying by yourself.” He threw out a hand to cut off her impen
ding argument. “This is as far as I’m going into your personal life, but I know Adam would be good for you.”
Nikki sat up straighter and stared at her brother. After eyeing him for several minutes, she came to the only logical conclusion. “Have you been drinking? With the mandatory drug tests I know you’d never risk smoking anything, and you seem sober, but you sure as hell aren’t thinking straight.” Recognizing how tense she’d gotten, she forced her shoulders to relax and softened her tone. “You’ve always been vague about this, but how do you know him? You guys don’t seem to have anything in common.”
“I’ve known him a while. We’re part of the same BDSM group.” His smile broadened and turned conspiratorial. “He’s the one who introduced me to Amber.”
The hair on the back of her neck stood on end. She took a deep breath and swallowed hard. “Are you telling me you’re a… Is Amber a…” Her voice came out as a hiss and she was unable to finish the question, but she knew he’d understand. She held her breath and waited.
He laughed. “Yeah, I’m a Dom and Amber is my submissive.”
She blew out the breath she’d been holding and her shoulders slumped. “Well, shit.”
He laughed and uncrossed his arms, letting one hand fall to his side while resting the other on his hip. “Not sure I understand that response.”
She pushed her fingers through her hair and scowled. “It’s kind of complicated.”
“Try me.”
“Adam’s not a jerk.”
Nate looked amused but held back his laughter. “No, he’s not.”
“Since I’ve figured out he’s an okay guy my only line of defense against him has been that he’s a Dom. Even though he told me I had a distorted view of the lifestyle.” She shifted her gaze away from Nate as she remembered the things Adam had done in an effort to back up his claim. “I still believed someone who got off on dominating women must be a major egomaniac with issues.”
When she looked back at him, the corners of his mouth were twitching. His cheek drew in as he began chewing on the inside of it, probably in an effort to keep from laughing at her. “And now?”
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