Red, White, and Blueberry Muffin Murder

by Addison Moore

  My jaw clamps shut.

  I always knew Fiona was good, but now I see she’s excellent at winnowing out the truth.

  “You don’t have to tell me,” she growls. “We can go the long way. We have time—or at least I do. You might be dead in a day for all I know. You’re playing with dynamite, and the fuse is a heck of a lot shorter than you think. This is all going to blow up in your face sooner than later.” She shakes her head. “And I’ll charge you twice the retainer when you’re ready.” She stalks off and a dull laugh thumps through my chest.

  I’d gladly pay it if it meant I was getting out of this pickle.

  Then again, she’s right. I could be dead in a day.

  But by whose hand? Canelli, Lazzari, Moretti, so many bullets, so little time.

  I’m a walking, talking fish in a barrel. Heck, I was safer to be around when I just had Jimmy after me.

  And the kicker?

  No matter how much I preach it, I have no idea how I’m going to fix this mess.

  There is not one outcome I can imagine that would be a good one.

  Whatever is about to happen—it’s going to be bad, bad, bad.

  And it’s going to happen to me.

  Lottie

  “Everett, you came right out and asked why she was fired?”

  Noah ticks his head to the side. “There’s a reason he’s not an investigator. He’s not one of us, Lottie. He’s an imposter. You should cut and run while Lyla Nell is still young.”

  I frown his way for even suggesting it. It’s Saturday evening and the hot dog competition is set to begin. Carlotta is dancing side to side, jogging in place, and throwing jabs at Mayor Nash as he dabs her down with a towel as if she were a heavyweight fighter looking to score a title belt—and in a way she is.

  The sun is getting ready to set and the sky is streaked in tangerine and pink hues that reflect off the water of Honey Lake. The crowds have shown up tonight en mass, but I’m assuming they’re here to witness the fireworks display that will be going off in an hour or so, not so much a handful of people looking to shove a pile of hot dogs down their throats.

  Lyla Nell coos in Noah’s arms as she points up at the twinkle lights hovering over the stage set out for the sausage spectacle about to take place. To the right, there’s a refreshment table laden with platters of my sweet treats for sale with Suze at the helm. She said she didn’t mind working in the evenings, seeing that she prefers dark to light. I’m not all that shocked to find out Suze is a creature of the night. To be honest, it explains a lot.

  Everett just finished telling Noah and me about his conversation with Betsy yesterday. Last night when he came home, I arranged for us to have a little date night and I forbade either one of us from talking shop. Then we spent all day apart, with him trying to figure out a way to proceed with the building of our dream home and me down at the bakery with the baby.

  Lyla Nell is so good while she’s at the Cutie Pie, Lily actually accused her of gunning for employee of the month.

  Everett’s chest broadens as he takes his next breath. “I had to cut to the chase. It was quitting time. I could tell she was ready to sail out the door.”

  Noah doesn’t look impressed. “So what did Betsy Monroe say? Why was she fired?”

  “She didn’t know. She seemed genuinely baffled and a bit embarrassed by it.”

  “That doesn’t jive with what Bridger told us,” I say. “Hey, maybe she didn’t realize what she was doing for the dirty judge?”

  Everett nods. “I’m thinking the same thing.”

  Noah rocks back on his heels. “Speaking of the Willoughbys’ antique shop, that ATM ring we’re tracking has used all four locations of the Willoughbys’ shops to siphon a majority of the funds. The bank drops from the shops are loaded with dirty money.”

  “How are the thieves stealing that money?” Everett asks as if he were suddenly interested in a career change.

  “Skimmer card, we think. A blank credit card programmed to circumvent the system.”

  A chill runs through me just hearing it. “I’m not sure why, but Sammy comes to mind. Noah, did either of the Willoughbys ever have a history of domestic violence? That conversation we had with Betsy at Limelight still doesn’t sit well with me.”

  Lyla Nell slaps Noah on the face and shouts something at him.

  He shakes his head and his dimples invert. “I dropped the ball. I’ll look into it tonight. I can make a few calls and tap into the database with my phone.”

  “Hear that, Lemon?” Everett’s lips curve for a moment. “Maybe he’s not an investigator. He’s the imposter around here.”

  I can’t help but chuckle, but any joy I might be feeling is cut short as I spot a couple of men in dark suits coming down from the woods across the way with marked determination. One of the two points our way and they pick up their pace, getting lost in the crowd the closer they get.

  “I think I see trouble,” the words come out lower than a whisper.

  “I see them, too,” Everett says. “I’ve been seeing them everywhere. Don’t worry, Lemon. I’m confident this will all go away soon. It has to.”

  Noah cranes his neck in the direction of the woods himself. “Maybe the solution here is getting Luke to give you a briefcase full of illegal drugs. It seems to be far less complicated than money.”

  “Everything is less complicated than money,” I say. “And I’m not laughing, Noah. You’re in grave peril, too. I think you should both go to the sheriff’s department and file a complaint to have every mob boss in the state arrested. I hate feeling as if our hands are tied. And I can’t stand the thought of living in fear every day because I’m afraid I’m going to lose you.”

  I look right at Everett when I say it, because let’s face it, Everett was the one that took a few bullets to the chest in that vision Grandma Nell gave me. And that’s exactly why I brought Ethel along tonight. I’ve got her tucked safely away in a holster that straps to my right thigh, expertly hidden under my sundress. Usually I stay away from Ethel when I know the baby will be with me, but time is running out for Everett, and I’ll pump a bullet in Jimmy and Luke myself to save my husband. And I have a feeling that’s exactly what I’ll have to do.

  Noah presses those lawn green eyes to mine. “Lottie, I am the sheriff’s department. I’d make this go away if I could without breaking my own neck in the process. If the department knew about half the things I’ve done, I’d be flipping burgers for a living.”

  “You can work at the Honey Pot Diner,” I tell him. “It would be a much more peaceful life than dealing with Jimmy. Same with you, Judge Baxter.”

  Everett’s cheek flickers. “I’m not opposed to honest hard work. But Jimmy and Luke aren’t going away no matter what career change either of us makes. I need a new plan to get us out of this.”

  Noah grunts, “What’s with the savior complex? I’m perfectly capable of coming up with a plan myself.”

  “Prove it,” Everett shoots back.

  Before Noah can answer, Evie runs up holding hands with a tall, dark, and handsome college man that sends both Noah and Everett in an instant rage.

  “Hold up!” Carlotta calls out. “I’m not missing the show.” She dances over with a look of abject glee on her face. “Go on, Evie Stevie, what ya itching to get off your mind?”

  “Dad, Mom—” Evie hops a little in her cut-off shorts and bikini top. I can tell Everett isn’t thrilled with her accouterments, but it’s a stifling summer night in July. It’s not exactly fur coat weather. “There’s a strawberry festival up near Maple Meadows Lodge next weekend and Bradford, Dash, and a couple other of our friends are heading out there. We may spend the night, but only because there’s a concert at ten at night and I know you don’t want me driving home at two in the morning down mountain terrain. Can you get us rooms at the lodge?”

  The Maple Meadows Lodge is a resort in a ski town not too far from here that Noah, Everett, and I own together. Noah wanted to invest in a solid piece of r
eal estate to pass down to his children one day, and now all these years later we have Lyla Nell to give it to one day.

  “No.” Everett doesn’t miss a beat as he gives a dark look to Bradford. “Aren’t you a little too old to be running around with sixteen-year-old girls? Why don’t you go pick on someone your own age? My kid is off-limits.”

  “Your kid?” Evie blinks so hard her long, dark curls spring into action. “You had better be talking about Lyla Nell, Judge Baxter.”

  Bradford leans in. “Dude, your dad is a judge?”

  Bradford is handsome, reminds me of a younger version of Everett, and in all the wrong ways.

  “Not now.” Evie waves him off without taking her eyes off Everett. “Weren’t you the one who told me to break up with my boyfriend last month? Well, I listened to you, Daddy Dearest,” she smears those last few words out with an extra helping of sarcasm and Carlotta rubs her hands together with glee. “And now that I’m moving on with my life in a direction you apparently don’t approve of, you think you can just manipulate a few pieces on the chess board once again until my life is going in the exact direction you want. I’m surprised you haven’t shoved me into the nearest monastery.”

  Carlotta nods. “I bet he’s looked into it, kid.”

  “Carlotta,” I hiss.

  “She’s right,” Evie snips. “I bet he’s looking into a lot of ways to mold me into his mini-me.”

  “Would that be so bad?” Everett’s voice hikes a notch as if he were offended by the thought.

  Evie scoffs. “You’re not even denying it! Fine, I won’t go to that concert of a lifetime. I’ll stay home and read law books all night. Oh wait, you don’t spend your evenings doing that. You chase Mom all around the house trying to get lucky. Maybe I will follow your lead. Come on, Bradford. I think I’ll chase you around the lake tonight as I hone my Baxter chops.” She takes him by the hand and abruptly leads him off into the crowd.

  “Geez,” Everett growls in their wake. “Noah, I want your men patrolling the vicinity. If that boy so much as looks at her the wrong way, I want him arrested and in my courtroom come Monday morning. Lemon, I’d find out his favorite dessert because I know who will star in the next The Last Thing They Ate Tour of yours. I’m about to kill him.”

  “Everett.” A tiny laugh gets caught in my throat.

  Noah chuckles. “Let him go, Lot. It’s about time you see him in his prime.”

  Carlotta slaps her knee. “Evie isn’t even official with her new man and Sexy’s got an APB out on him.”

  “Sorry to break it to you”—Noah pats Everett on the back—“but there’s no overbearing dad division down at the sheriff’s department.”

  Everett slices a lethal look to Noah. “We’ll see who’s the overbearing father once Lyla Nell wants to date a college man while she’s in preschool.” He does a double take as he looks past Noah. “Conner,” he barks, and Conner Saint, linebacker extraordinaire and Evie’s ex-boyfriend, shows up on the scene.

  He’s tall, built like a brick wall, has dirty blond hair, and an overall boy next-door air to him compared to the barhopper in training Evie has suddenly taken up interest in. Okay, so that might have been a little harsh, but Evie is my daughter, too. Evie actually used to date both Conner and his best friend Kyle about a year ago. It was twisted, and sadly I think I modeled that behavior for her. I suppose it could be worse. She could be dating two college men.

  “Conner.” The muscles in Everett’s jaw pop as he says it and about six different women crane their neck in this direction. Everett is maddeningly handsome when he hits this level of distress. “You need to go and find Evie.”

  “Why? Is something wrong?” He gives a quick glance toward the lake, but there’s no real urgency behind it.

  “Yes, something’s wrong,” Everett says. “She’s interested in someone else. You need to go and fight for her. Get her back.”

  Carlotta starts in on one of those choo-choo train laughs that you know is not only going to be raucous, but it’s going to last a lifetime.

  I’ll admit, it’s a bit laughable to ask Conner to get Evie back when Everett was the one that convinced her to give freedom a chance just a few weeks back.

  Conner shakes his head as he backs away slowly. “I’m not going there. Evie threw us away like yesterday’s news.”

  “You have to go there,” Everett barks again. “You need to find her and beg her to take you back. You need to woo her.” He whips out his wallet and hands the boy a twenty. “Take the cash and buy her some flowers or whatever you give to girls these days to make them like you.”

  Noah nudges me with his elbow. “Hear that? He gives you flowers to make you like him.”

  “Everett doesn’t need flowers to do that, and neither does Conner.” I give a sharp look to Everett. “Evie likes you just enough on your own.”

  “No, she doesn’t.” Conner looks at me from head to foot and back again as if I were nuts. “She dumped me. She made her choice. And I have, too. I’ve moved on. I’m dating the head cheerleader now.”

  “What?” Everett roars as if it were heresy. “What’s she got that Evie doesn’t?”

  “Sane parents,” Conner says without missing a beat. “If you don’t mind, I’ve got a hot dog eating competition to get ready for.”

  Carlotta gasps. “Wait, blondie,” she calls after him. “I just saw the head cheerleader taking that lanky kid you used to hang out with into the woods.”

  “Again? Kyle!” Conner shouts as he stalks off. “I’m going to have to kill you this time.”

  Carlotta swats me. “Quick, find out Kyle’s favorite dessert, Lot Lot. Here’s hoping it’s something with a bit more chocolate in it this time.”

  We watch as Conner sprints to the other side of the lake and Noah shakes his head.

  “Way to go, Carlotta. Eliminating your competition one at a time. Not a bad strategy.”

  “I’m next,” Everett says. “My appetite has up and disappeared. I’m hunting down Evie. I think I’ll have a private word with Bradford, too. I’ll be back, Lemon.” He lands a kiss to my cheek before stalking off into the crowd.

  Noah takes a breath. “I’d better go with him before he gets taken in with assault charges.”

  “Good idea,” I say, taking Lyla Nell from him.

  Noah takes off just as Charlie comes this way with a pesky Rooster on her heels.

  “We got to do something, Carlotta.” Charlie’s eyes are bulging in the exact way mine are prone to do when I’m angry. Come to think of it, Charlie is basically an angry rendition of me. “You got that gun on you, Lottie?”

  “Actually…” I waver on whether or not I should tell the truth just as my mother and Wiley show up.

  “Give me that baby.” Mom plucks Lyla Nell out of my hand and Lyla Nell cheers as if she’s just escaped hard time. “Come to Glam Glam. Let’s walk down to the water and look at the baby fishys.” She takes off with her and I’m tempted to join them, but Rooster seems to be having a standoff with everyone left in our midst.

  “Wiley Fox.” Rooster stabs him in the chest with his finger. “You done did me dirty.”

  “That’s right. He did,” Carlotta chirps, and I can see the glee percolating in her eyes twice in one night.

  “You did me dirtier,” Rooster crows her way before growling over at Charlie as well. “You’re all going to pay. I’ve got connections—men who will do whatever I say.”

  Charlie steps in close and gets right in his face. “I’ve got connections myself. In fact, one of my connections happens to own a brood of vipers.” She winks over at him and it feels like a threat. “Just try to hurt us. You won’t live to regret it because I’ll make sure you don’t live at all this time.”

  Carlotta chokes. “That’s where you went wrong, Cha Cha. You gotta double the dose. All you managed to do was get him mad.”

  Rooster backs away slowly, glaring at Carlotta and Charlie.

  “I don’t get mad, honey. I get even.” He takes off
and I shake Charlie by the shoulders.

  “Are you nuts?” I tell her. “You all but copped to a felony. And by the way, I’m a bit impressed with your intended murder weapon. I’ve yet to see that, and I’ve seen more than my fair share of homicidal intentions play out.”

  “I didn’t do it.” She shakes herself free of my hold. “Manny did. His snake is pretty impressive and so are his vipers.” She flashes a short-lived smile at Carlotta.

  Wiley steps in, looking ever so much like a dark-side version of Noah.

  “You girls stay out of this before you get me killed,” he bellows. “Let the menfolk take care of Rooster. We know what we’re doing.” He starts to take off and trips over a chair and lands flat on his face.

  “Don’t listen to him, Mama,” Charlie pants. “He can’t even keep upright. I’ll take care of this myself.” She takes off and Carlotta eyes the stage.

  “With Rooster walking the dead man’s plank, this is panning out to be my lucky day,” Carlotta unbuckles her jeans. “Wish me luck, Lot, I’m going in.” She takes off for the stage as the competition is set to begin.

  A spray of red, white, and blue miniature stars appears next to me and they glow like lanterns as the sun dips behind the evergreens.

  Leo appears in all his ghostly Bengal glory and lets out a sharp rawr my way. “Come quickly, Lottie. Sammy and Quincy are having a terrible argument.” He speeds ahead and I follow that floating cat right over to the shadowed side of the lake where that garage sale spectacular looks as if it’s winding down.