Good Woman Blues

by Emery, Lynn

  “Maybe you already have.” Gabriel came around the counter and danced with her.

  “Or maybe it’s the other way around. Men used conjuring as often as women back in the day around here.” Erikka turned her back to him. She enjoyed the sensation of having his body almost touch hers. Their hips swayed back in forth in tandem.

  Gabriel rested his hands on her waist and spoke close to her ear. “I’d never tell if I did,” he whispered.

  Erikka brushed against his pelvis. Gabriel pulled her close for a second, then let go. He had a soft way of seduction that fed her hunger for him night and day.

  “You’re supposed to be cooking our dinner. You could put our food in the oven to keep warm.” Gabriel backed away from her when she turned around again.

  “You’re a tease, Gabriel. You seemed so reserved when we first met.” Erikka raised an eyebrow at him. Once he’d let her in, Gabriel was warm and sensuous.

  Gabriel’s eyes softened. “You understood. I don’t know how, but you did.”

  Erikka didn’t know what to say. She was not sure that he was right. The thought of disappointing him frightened her. So many times lovers had a superficial connection that crumbled after a while. Having the dream shatter would be much worse this time around. She was sure of it.

  “Don’t set the bar so high for me. I’ve got all I can handle trying to understand myself,” Erikka said, trying for a light tone.

  “I didn’t mean to scare you, babe.” Gabriel walked over and kissed her forehead. “Okay, let’s lighten the mood. Undercover Brother or Barbershop III”

  The spell broken, Erikka laughed. “Dinner and a movie, the perfect date. Hmm, let’s watch both.”

  “Okay.”

  They made it through dinner and only the first half of one movie. One kiss led to another until they ended up stretched out on the sofa. In minutes Gabriel hit the remote, turned off the movie, and turned on all her pleasure centers. He dimmed the lights, and they made love. He wrapped himself around and through her until she felt total love. There was no way Erikka could hold back or question. Gabriel seemed determined to convince her on every level. When they finally lay still in a tangle of arms and legs, Erikka closed her eyes to hold back tears. Gabriel seemed to sense the emotion. He kissed her eyelids as though urging release. A tear slid down one cheek, and he pressed his face against it.

  “There isn’t anything in you that scares me,” he whispered.

  This man expected more than sex from her. She realized that for all her complaints about finding true love, her previous love affairs had been far safer. Erikka owed him the truth.

  “You don’t know. I—”

  “Yes I do.” He rubbed his cheek against her breasts.

  Erikka buried her fingers in his dark hair. She breathed in the scent of spice he gave off. His skin smelled of sweat mixed with almond like aftershave.

  “The real reason I totaled my car wasn’t because I got drunk. I’d had a lot of wine, but I really wanted to make it all go away. I got tired of seeing someone I didn’t like in the mirror. Every morning, every night. It only got worse, never better,” Erikka confessed. Her throat felt raw as she talked in a hoarse whisper. The words seemed to scrape her throat. Gabriel held her tighter as she spoke.

  “I knew what I was doing. I couldn’t think of a good reason not to crash my car. That was the awful part, that certainty that nothing would be good in my life.”

  Erikka had not admitted this to the therapist. She’d come close, though, a few times, but couldn’t bring herself to face it. Now she knew those self-help books she read voraciously for years were wrong. She didn’t feel an immediate sense of relief or release.

  “And now?” Gabriel said against her skin.

  “I’m not sure. That’s the best I can do.” Erikka tensed when he grew still and didn’t say anything. She could feel him considering her words.

  “That’s an improvement. You’re beginning to concede the possibility of happiness,” he said finally. He looked up at her with a subtle smile tugging his mouth up.

  “Damn, you had a good therapist,” Erikka quipped, and ruffled his tight curls.

  “Yep, my ninety-year-old great-uncle. He’d say ‘Boy, you haven’t done anything worse than most folks. Get your thumb outta your ass and stop walking around here looking pitiful.’ ”

  Erikka laughed so hard her chest hurt. “All that money I spent on therapy. Where was he when I needed him?”Gabriel sat up and pulled Erikka with him. He covered them both with a cotton throw with the Saints logo on it. “What’s the worst you’ve ever done? We might as well put it out on the table.”

  “Oh, wait a minute. One declaration of guilt per date, please,” she replied.

  Erikka snuggled against him. Gabriel put an arm around her and rested his chin on the top of her head. They listened to smooth jazz for a long time. He wasn’t going to push. She liked that in him. They drifted along on the music for a time. Erikka wallowed in the sheer pleasure of him, the way his chest felt as it rose and fell. She placed a hand on his flat stomach and drew strength from the warmth pulsating in his body.

  “You know the worst about me.” Gabriel spoke without inflection in his voice. Not blas6, but matter-of-fact, as though he had no intention of dancing around an awful reality.

  “It was an accident,” she offered in solace, and put her arms around him.

  “I hit him hard and kept hitting him; I killed him.” Gabriel sat stiffly. “Ricky Landry. He was at St. Benedict’s on a scholarship. He wanted to fit in with us spoiled, privileged kids. We used that.”

  Erikka swallowed hard. Darlene’s warning about him flashed in her head. She pushed it away. The way he felt made her certain. “But you didn’t mean to.”

  “I was sick of him following me around. That kind of hero worship is a burden after a while. I didn’t deserve it anyway. Ricky had a love jones for this girl Nachelle. We were out drinking, and one of my buddies spilled that I’d slept with her. We cracked some nasty jokes. Ricky jumped me, a brawl broke out, and you’ve heard the rest.” Gabriel looked at Erikka. His eyes seemed glazed over with misery. “There is nothing redeeming in my story.” “You’re a different man now, Gabriel.” Erikka held on to him.

  “I am, but it doesn’t change what happened.”

  A bluesy ballad came from the speakers of his sound system. D’Angelo sang of love, desire, and forgiveness. Erikka stood and tugged at his muscular biceps.

  ‘Time to dance,” she said.

  Gabriel blinked rapidly, like a man coming from a daze. “What?”

  “Just follow me.”

  He towered above her like a bronzed Greek statue come to life. Erikka lightly brushed the sides of his body with the tips of her fingers. Gabriel gazed down at her for a few moments, waiting for her next move. She closed her eyes and put her arms around his neck. He rested his forehead against hers with a sigh. They danced, slowly, feet barely moving, but their bodies swayed in time with the soulful melody. They danced until Erikka stopped thinking about her own past, or her mother’s marriage, or Aunt Darlene’s impending heartbreak. They danced until Gabriel relaxed into her again. They danced until both believed that life could be lovely.

  Chapter 14

  On Wednesday Erikka walked into the Senior Center and waved at a group of elderly men playing chess. They always stayed until the last moment. The center would close in another thirty minutes. “How y’all doing today?” she called.

  “Good and you?” one man said, with a nod.

  “Can’t complain.” Erikka had fallen into the country social rituals after so many weeks.

  “I’m still doing well enough to appreciate a fine young woman,” his companion replied with a wink. “You lookin’ sweet as usual.”

  “Thanks, Mr. Theo.” Erikka grinned at his flirting.

  “Man, you can’t do nothin’ but look.” His friend joked.

  “That ain’t what your woman said last night,” Mr. Theo tossed back, igniting a round of rau
cous hoots. Insults flew fast and furious as the men played the dozens, old-school style.

  Erikka shook her head as she continued on to the conference room. The board meeting would begin in ten minutes. She expected it to be routine. Seeing Kelvin and Darlene in the room together wouldn’t be routine at all. Erikka had spent Monday turning over options. She couldn’t keep her mouth shut forever. Darlene had to know that Kelvin was seeing someone else, and it would be kinder if she heard it from Erikka. As she set up the notebook computer, Erikka silently tested opening lines to broach the subject. She didn’t notice Darlene come in.

  “Hi, Erikka.” Darlene wore a distracted frown. “You got the budget figures updated?”

  “Sure. I’m going to print it right now for Miss Jenkins.” She’d helped the office manager compile the figures for the past four days.

  Erikka tapped out a command. She connected the small printer to the notebook. In seconds the financial re-port appeared. Seven copies were for the board members, and she made extras just in case. The meeting was open to the public. Sometimes interested people from the community attended.

  “Good evening, everybody,” Kelvin said, in a hearty tone.

  “Hi, Kelvin. I’m so glad you could make it.” Darlene gave a relieved sigh. She brushed back a stray lock of her hair. “Our new project ideas are wonderful, but I’m just drained. My mind is spinning with all the details.”

  Kelvin gave a good-natured deep laugh and patted her shoulder. “Now don’t you worry. We’re all in this thing together.”

  “Of course you’re right. Thanks.” She smiled at him in gratitude. When her secretary came to the door and beckoned, Darlene left him reluctantly.

  Erikka wanted to puke. His down-home charm covered the heart of a snake. No wonder his wife was such a barracuda. Years of dealing with him could turn a saint into a bitch. When he turned his smarmy grin on her, Erikka ignored him.

  “How are you, Miss Erikka?” Kelvin strolled over to stand next to her.

  “Okay. You’re in a chipper mood. Wonder why?” Erikka clenched her back teeth to keep from saying more. She figured getting his freak on with two women had a little something to do with it.

  “No need in complaining I always say. Not that I have anything to complain about.” Kelvin rubbed his hands together as though satisfied with himself.

  “Hmmph.” Erikka squinted at him.

  “You’re doing a fine job. Everyone is praising you for how much you’ve helped us.” Kelvin rested a hand on her shoulder.

  Erikka stared at his hand until he cleared his throat and moved it. “Darlene did the hard work of fundraising and getting the grant.”

  “You showed her how to write for those grants. You know—” Kelvin broke off and sat in the chair next to Erikka and lowered his voice. “I wouldn’t hesitate to recommend you for other jobs. I do have a lot of influence since I’ve been part of this community for so long. Plus, they are very impressed with you, Erikka.” Kelvin nodded solemnly.

  “I’m not interested, thanks anyway,” Erikka said. The effort to be polite hurt.

  Kelvin waved and smiled to people who came into the room. “You think about it.”

  He got up and walked over to three men standing just inside the door. Kelvin worked the room as more board members came in. Erikka had to give him points for being smooth. Mr. Community Service had his act down. Big-city operators had nothing on these small-town players, she mused. Darlene came in and watched his every move.

  Erikka tried to distract her. “Malik got to band practice okay?”

  “Uh-huh.” Darlene continued to watch Kelvin. She started when Erikka poked her with an elbow. “I mean, yes. Malik’s friend Jordan picked him up.”

  “What did you tell me once? Sometimes things happen for the best.” Erikka tugged her in the opposite direction of Kelvin. “Come sit next to me.”

  Darlene followed her, all the while making an effort not to look for Kelvin. “You’re a lot younger than me. Choices get real narrow after forty.”

  “Give yourself more credit. He—”

  Erikka broke off when a woman approached. She helped Darlene focus on exchanging chitchat. When Kelvin strolled over, Darlene gazed at him as though everyone else had disappeared.

  “Hello, ladies. I was just saying ‘Amen’ to all the compliments folks been giving your niece, Miss Darlene,” Kelvin said.

  Erikka caught herself just as she was about to roll her eyes. Apparently she was the only one unimpressed. Darlene smiled and nodded. The other woman beamed and gave him a head-to-toe approving glance.

  “Wonderful that we can talk about good news for a change. Isn’t that right?” The woman looked at Darlene, who was still looking at Kelvin. Her eyebrows went up.

  “You want something, ma’am? We have fresh coffee.” Erikka put a hand on the woman’s arm and pointed across the room to a table.

  “My doctor says to stay away from caffeine.”

  “We’ve got decaf, apple juice, and soft drinks. Tried to think of everybody.” Erikka launched her effort to sidetrack the woman. She sighed with relief when someone called the woman away.

  “How have you been doing?” Darlene’s fixed smile covered the hint of desperation in her question.

  “Busy at work and at home. Carolyn keeps me hopping with home projects. You know how wives can be.” Kelvin shook his head and laughed. He spoke loud enough so those nearby could be part of the conversation.

  “Don’t I,” a man agreed, with a good-natured groan.

  Darlene blinked as though she’d been struck across the face. “I understand. Some things have to come first,” she said softly.

  Kelvin’s only response was a slight nod. He walked away and sat down at the table with the other board members. Darlene looked around the room like she’d lost her bearings. Erikka ached for her aunt. Feeling more like a sister than her niece, Erikka wanted to protect Darlene from more hurt.

  “If everyone would take their seats, we’ll start the meeting,” the president of the board announced.

  “Excellent timing,” Erikka mumbled. She pushed Darlene ahead of her toward their seats.

  Erikka’s concentration on silently consoling Darlene slipped when Gabriel came in. Several people noticed him, and murmurs swelled. The president tapped his gavel, and things settled down again. Gabriel’s gaze found Erikka almost immediately. He smiled, but stood against the wall. After a time no one seemed to notice him. Two hours later the meeting was over. Gabriel threaded his way through the crowd to Erikka and Darlene.

  “How are y’all?” Gabriel dipped his head toward Darlene.

  “Hello.” Darlene gave him a brief smile, and then looked away.

  Erikka put a hand on his arm when Gabriel seemed to back up. “Hi. You remember my aunt Darlene.”

  “Yes, of course,” Gabriel said. He seemed unsure he should have come.

  “Excuse me, but I need to talk to Ms. Crandall over there.” Darlene wandered off in the general direction of Kelvin.

  “It’s not you. I’ll tell you later,” Erikka said, low and fast, just as two people pressed closer. She watched Darlene make a circle toward Kelvin. Her target moved away, ending up closer to Erikka and Gabriel.

  “I’m used to being avoided or stared at. Well, almost.” Gabriel gave a brave smile. Still, he appeared ready to walk.

  “Well, well. Gabriel Cormier. I’m sure surprised to see you here,” Kelvin boomed. He clapped a large hand on Gabriel’s shoulder. “Good to see a member of the Cormier family take an interest in the community.”

  “Have we met?” Gabriel kept his tone cordial even though his eyes didn’t smile.

  “Not formally. Now don’t stand too still or I’ll draft you onto one of our committees.” Kelvin rubbed his chin as though thinking up ideas for Gabriel.

  Gabriel folded his arms tightly against his chest. “With my business I don’t think—”

  “Right,” Kelvin said. “I work with the preservation committee. You know antiques a
nd carpentry. Perfect fit.” He grinned widely with satisfaction.

  “I’m sorry, not much time for volunteer work,” Gabriel said.

  “Look, forget about what people say,” Kelvin dropped his voice and guided Gabriel away. “I’ll make sure you get treated with respect. Ricky got in plenty of fights way before that night. Took a swing at my baby brother once. A wonder he didn’t get himself hurt sooner.”

  Gabriel’s brown-and-gold eyes sparkled with revulsion. Kelvin had turned a tragedy into criticism of the dead boy. Erikka suddenly wished Gabriel would revert back to his old ways and smack the chump down.

  “I’m too busy expanding my business,” Gabriel said. His voice deepened as his neck muscles worked. He turned to walk away. “Excuse me.”

  A man with iron gray hair confronted him. Talk around them died away. “Guess you don’t remember me.”

  “Yes, sir, I do,” Gabriel looked at the man without flinching.

  “You seem to be doing well. Life is still good to the Cormiers.” Landry gave him a head to toe glance.

  “How is Mrs. Landry?” Gabriel asked quietly.

  “Still missing her son,” the man replied flatly.

  Gabriel nodded slowly. “I’m sorry,” he said, his voice barely audible. He seemed to brace for an onslaught of emotion from the man.

  Mr. Landry grunted. “Sorry don’t fix a damn thing.”

  “You’re right. Excuse me. I’ll see you outside,” Gabriel said to Erikka as he strode out.

  Erikka hurriedly retrieved her notebook computer and briefcase. She was about to leave when she caught sight of Darlene. “You going to need me for anything else here?”

  “I’m fine.” Darlene’s smile seemed stretched to the limit.

  “You sure?” Erikka glanced at Kelvin. He seemed in no such distress.

  Darlene followed her gaze, and then looked at Erikka again. “No, but don’t worry. I’ll cope.”

  “If you’re sure.” Erikka took one step.

  “I’m so ready to get out of these clothes and relax. I’ll be fine. Talk to you when you get home,” Darlene replied, and went back to chat with other board members.