BREAKING THE RULES: Forsaken 99 MC

by Evelyn Glass

  Okay. Fine… She stepped around behind his chair and took him into her arms, placing her head on his shoulder. Bent at the waist she held him, saying nothing, doing nothing, standing still and quiet as she offered him her silent support.

  Just as she was sure her back would break from her position she heard him gasp as his shoulders shook. She had been about to give up her position, but she gritted her teeth against the discomfort. She felt another shudder go through him, then a moment later, another. His hand came up and he gripped her wrist, holding it to him. She felt his shoulder collapse in slightly as he leaned forward and his head tipped down. As he began to shake, a tiny splash of wetness landed on her hand.

  Never releasing her embrace, she slid around to the side and went to her knees beside him. “It’s okay to grieve, Jules. If you don’t grieve, you can’t let go of the pain. If you don’t let go of the pain, you can’t heal,” she whispered softly as she held him. He turned slightly in his chair and fell into her embrace, holding her as he was racked with sobs.

  “Why, Rachel? Why them? Why couldn’t it be me? Why did it have to be them?”

  “Shhh… There is no answer to that,” she answered softly as she held him tight, rocking him as he sobbed.

  “I should have died! I should have died in Iraq and I should have died last night! It should have been me and not Fish! Kristen… she’s…”

  “I know, Jules. I know,” she cooed, trying to ease his pain. “But I’m glad you didn’t die. I am so very glad.”

  Slowly his sobs quietened as he began to relax into her arms. She stood and with gentle coaxing, got him to her bedroom. She put him to bed and he was asleep in an instant. She thought about joining him, to be there to comfort him when he woke up, but she had things she needed to do and he would probably sleep for hours.

  ***

  “Mike, right?” she asked the man sitting on her front porch, smoking a cigar.

  “That’s right. How’s he doing?”

  “Tough night. He’s in bed, asleep at the moment. Can you come in and watch him for a little while? I have things I need to do.”

  “Sure,” Mike said as rose to his feet.

  “Make yourself at home, but no smoking in my house. There’s food and beer in the fridge. Don’t let him have anything to drink if he takes any more pain meds. And don’t let him drink too much in any case. Got it?”

  He chuckled as he ground the cigar out in a planter. “Damn, Rachel… you missed your calling. You should have been a Drill Sergeant.”

  Rachel smiled at him. “It’s the only way I can get you Army types to listen to me.”

  “Yeah, but I was Air Force.”

  “Oh! In that case… please,” she said, her smile growing wider.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Jules was unaware of Rachel leaving as exhaustion from yesterday’s events and his sleepless night caused him to almost instantly fall to sleep. Rachel had been gone almost an hour when he rolled over and his bandaged arm bumped against the nightstand.

  ***

  “Not as bad as being shot, is it?” Haynes asked. He pulled the hospital sheet back to look at the bloodstained bandage wrapped around Jules’s middle. “Damn…” he drawled. “That looks like it hurts.”

  “I’ve felt better,” Jules wheezed.

  “Doc said you were going to make it. It was touch and go there for a while. They were able to save the lung, you lucky shit, but don’t plan on running any marathons.”

  “Yeah… lucky.” Jules wheezed again.

  “I know you don’t think so, but it’s true. And I’m glad for you, Sarge, I really am. You’re a good guy, even if you are a pain in my ass sometimes.”

  “I don’t feel so lucky.”

  “What are you talking about? You have friends who like you, a growing business… not to mention Rachel. Jesus Christ, she’s so hot I’m surprised she doesn’t set the bed on fire.”

  Jules chuckled then coughed, grimacing against the pain. “Don’t make me laugh, you asshole.”

  “You have a lot to live for, man. A lot of guys would trade places with you a New York minute – me included.”

  “You’re dead.”

  “Yeah, I know. That kinda cramps my style, but if I weren’t, I would give you a run for your money with Rachel.”

  “You can have her.”

  Haynes snickered. “You would give me the best thing that has happened to you in years? You’re either the best friend a guy could ever have or you are the stupidest shit that ever lived. I’m leaning toward the second.”

  “Maybe you could keep her safe.”

  “Maybe. I would sure try, but you didn’t do too badly. You probably saved everyone’s life in the bar the other night, including Rachel’s. Of course, if I had been there, the guy would have never gotten off a shot… just because I’m awesome that way. But, you know, being dead, that makes it a little harder for me.”

  “I can’t save anyone. I couldn’t save you. I couldn’t save Fish or Bell.”

  “Yeah… about that. Come on, let’s walk,” Haynes said as he and Jules walked through the remains of their convoy. “I don’t know what you expect. Both times you were severely overmatched. We were outgunned by at least three to one here…” the landscape changed to the highway where Fish and Bell were killed “... and a bike versus a full-sized truck? You’re a pretty big guy, but you aren’t that big.”

  “You did good, Sergeant Rivera,” First Sergeant Bryant said. “You took down a gunman with no civilian casualties.”

  “The man and the woman were—” Jules objected.

  “—shot by the gunman… not you. Had you not been there, it would have been worse – much worse. He would have been able to kill almost everyone in the room before anyone could have done anything to stop him,” Bryant said

  “But I wasn’t able—”

  “Sergeant, you’re a damn fine soldier, but you’re not superhuman. Nobody could have prevented what happened in Iraq. Hell, I was killed in the first ten seconds. I was honored to serve with men like you and Haynes.”

  “But Fish and Bell…”

  “What about us?” Fish asked.

  “You were killed.”

  “Yeah. Ain’t that a bitch? But it wasn’t your fault.”

  “If anything, it was my fault,” Bell said. “I let that guy ride right up my ass before I realized what was happening.”

  Jules looked at his companions. His wounds were healed and he was dressed in his Army BDU’s with his Forsaken 99 jacket over the top. “Everyone I care about dies. I should leave before anyone else gets hurt.”

  “And go where?” Fish asked. “And what about Rachel?”

  “Anywhere.”

  “And leave Todd completely in charge? Let him start a full scale war with the Andres Cartel? How is that helping to protect anyone?” Bell asked.

  “The war is coming anyway.”

  “Yes… yes it is, but without you to balance Todd—” Fish said.

  “It doesn’t matter… I can’t stop it.”

  He drew his sidearm and placed it to his head. Before he could pull the trigger, Rachel placed her hand on his. He pulled the trigger with all his might, but it wouldn’t budge.

  “No,” Rachel said softly. “You can’t do that. Too many people in Vallecito depend on you. I depend on you.”

  “I can’t do it! You can’t depend on me!” he wailed as he strained to pull the trigger.

  “You can. And you have. I, and a lot of other people, would be dead now if it weren’t for you. We need you to stay… I need you to stay.”

  “We’re counting on you, Jules,” Fish and Rachel said in chorus.

  “I need you to protect Kristen for me,” Fish said.

  “I need you to protect me. Vallecito counts on you. I count on you,” Rachel said alone. “Don’t leave Vallecito to get caught between Forsaken 99 and the cartel. We need you, here, with us. Please don’t go. Promise me you won’t leave us.”

  Jules looked into Rache
l’s large brown eyes and he felt a new determination. He had failed Second Platoon, and he had failed Fish and Bell… but he hadn’t failed her. And he wouldn’t. He would protect her no matter the cost. “I promise,” he said quietly.

  She beamed at him as she steered his pistol back into his holster.

  “What prevents me from simply pulling it again?”

  “You have given me your word and a knight always keeps his word.”

  He blinked at her. “Knight?”

  She nodded as she handed him a box. He opened it and his eyes watered from the glow emanating from the object inside.

  “What is it?” he asked.

  “It’s a beacon.” She reached into the box and pulled out a five-pointed star attached to a ribbon. It glowed impossibly bright in the palm of her hand. “You, and others that believe in you, are the beacons that prevent Forsaken 99 from becoming evil.”

  “I’m not a beacon,” he said softly, looking away from the star.

  “You prevented Todd from killing the kids. You have been the voice of reason and restraint and—”

  “How did you know?”

  “Everyone knows, Jules. That is why we depend on you. Your voice keeps Forsaken 99 from taking the wrong path. You’re Vallecito’s knight protector, our paladin. If you were to leave, darkness would follow and people would die. You, and others like you, are the true protectors of Vallecito.”

  He looked around and saw Forsaken 99. Some members, Marsh, Fish, Bell, Spence, Wade, Duck, Boggs, along with others, hold a glowing star in their hand, as he was doing. Those holding the stars stepped from the crowd and joined him. Those left behind closed ranks, as if they were never there.

  He turned to look at Rachel, wondering what it all meant, but she was gone. He quickly looked back to those that had joined him, but they, too, were gone. He was alone, the star still glowing in his hand.

  ***

  “How’s he doing?” Rachel asked Mike when she returned from the bar after the workmen had finished for the day. One more round of wood repairs tomorrow, and when the replacement mirror arrived, it would be like the shooting had never happened. She had left Rachel in charge. She had more important matters to attend to this evening.

  “He’s quiet now. He was talking in his sleep to Fish and Bell… the poor bastard. I wish there was something I could do for him. You know his story?”

  “Yeah. Life isn’t fair, is it?”

  “No. Even less so for some.”

  “I’ll watch him if you want to go.”

  “Marsh will be here in about an hour to relieve me, but I’m going to step outside for a smoke.”

  “Okay. How’s Kristen?”

  “I heard she’s taking it hard. Some of the girls are staying with her. This whole thing is fucked up. It wasn’t supposed to be like this.”

  “I’m afraid it’s going to get worse,” Rachel said as she looked at her feet.

  “Yeah. Me. Too. Take care of him, Rachel. The club needs him.”

  She smiled slightly and looked into Mike’s eyes. “Yeah. We all do.”

  When Mike stepped outside, she moved to her bedroom. Jules had obviously been thrashing as her bed was a mess. With a sad smile she settled into the bed behind him and took him into her embrace. His shirt was damp with sweat, but she didn’t care as she snuggled in tight. She lay still, listening to his deep rhythmic breathing, until after an hour he began to stir.

  “Hi,” he mumbled.

  “Hi yourself. How do you feel?”

  “Better, I guess. How long was I asleep?”

  “About nine hours. Do you need more pain meds?”

  “No. I’m okay. Have you been here the whole time?” he asked as he rolled over to face her.

  “No. But Mike has been. He said you were talking to Fish and Bell while you slept.”

  “I was? I must have been dreaming. I know I dream because I can feel it, but I never remember them.”

  “Maybe that is a good thing.”

  “Maybe.” He looked at her, his face clouded with sadness. “I’m sorry about last night and this morning.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “The way I was acting. I… said some things. I just want you to know that I’m sorry, that I don’t want you to leave. I need you, Rachel. I just worry…”

  Rachel struggled to hold her tears. “I know. But your leaving won’t protect me. It will place me in greater danger. Had you not been in the bar the other night I would be dead now. You saved me Jules. You saved us all.”

  “The cartel will come for me. It will come for Forsaken 99 and everyone close to us.”

  She could sense him slipping back into his pain and darkness. “Then we will fight them together,” she said as she touched his face. “It will be okay, Jules,” she said, trying to reach him, to pull him back from that dark place. “When you are with me, I feel like nothing in this world can hurt me. I trust you Jules. Trust yourself.”

  He lay still, staring into her eyes, his emotions in turmoil. He wanted to believe her words, her assurances that it would be okay, but he had failed so many times and allowed so many deaths. “I’ll try.”

  She smiled warmly. “That’s all I ask.”

  “I have to get up.”

  “Come back to bed afterwards?”

  “I need to think, Rachel. Fish and Bell. I—”

  “Shhh… Jules,” she whispered, interrupting him. “Don’t… don’t go there, okay? I need you to come back to bed. I need you to hold me. Please. I need to feel you close to me. I was so afraid last night when I couldn’t reach you. Then you wanted to send me away. Will you just hold me for a little while? Please. I need to know everything is okay.”

  He looked at her and he saw the fear in her eyes. “Yes,” he said then kissed her softly on the lips.

  She smiled at him. “Thank you.”

  The moment he stepped into the bathroom, she leapt from the bed and quickly stripped. Whether they made love or not was not as important as simply feeling his closeness. When he returned she folded back the linens in invitation. Seeing her nakedness, he sat down and removed his own clothes then slid beneath the covers with her. As she scooted in close, her back to his chest, he surrounded her with his arms.

  “Mmmm…” she purred. “This is nice. Thank you.” They were quiet for a time. “I’m glad you are staying,” Rachel murmured before pulling one of his hands to her lips.

  “I hope it’s not a mistake. Death seems to follow me everywhere I go… touches anyone that I care about.”

  “Shhh…” she whispered. “That’s not true, and you know it.”

  “It seems to be.”

  She turned in his arms to face him. “Let’s not talk about death anymore tonight. I’m alive and you’re alive…” She again touched his face with a gossamer touch, a gesture he was becoming very fond of.

  He covered her hand with his own and brought it to his lips. “No. Let’s not,” he said as he allowed her hand to fall from his lips.

  “What?” she asked as she looked into his eyes.

  “I need you, Rachel. You help keep the darkness away.”

  Rachel’s blood surged as her heart thudded in her chest. She smiled softly, his words touching her. “I’m glad.” She pulled his lips slowly to hers and they met in a slow kiss. When they separated she looked into his face. “I want you,” she mouthed silently.

  He read her lips and felt a rush of warmth flow through him. He wanted her, too, but all of her, not just her body. He wanted her at his side so he could bask in the radiance of her presence, the bright light of her kindness and understanding illuminating all the dark recesses of his soul. “I want you,” he mouthed in return before taking her in another gentle kiss.

  As the kiss deepened, she slowly rolled to her back, holding him in the kiss as she moved. He moved with her, his passions flaring to life as the kiss continued to deepen, their tongues slowly intertwining, relaxing, then intertwining again.

  He pulled back from th
e kiss and stared into her eyes, his face intense and… something… something she couldn’t put her finger on. She touched his lips with a finger for the pleasure of touching them as she watched his face soften, then become hard and determined, before softening into a smile as he lowered his lips to hers in the most erotic kiss imaginable.

  As she touched his lips, he felt an all-consuming anger take him. Death may follow him, but he would fight death itself for this woman. He would earn the trust she had placed in him; he would protect her from harm and defend her to his dying breath. He would become her knight and protector, her… paladin. As he looked into her eyes he could feel the darkness in his soul begin to wither and die in the light of her presence as he took her lips again.