Fire and Agate

by Andrew Grey

  “But you different,” Pavle whispered.

  “How am I different?” Chris challenged. “Yes, I wasn’t brought here and treated the way you were. Now you can be sad—you can be angry at the men who did that.” He gently rubbed Pavle’s back. “You can want revenge on them and try to hurt them back—all that seems reasonable to me. But being ashamed of yourself only lets them win.” He titled Pavle’s head upward until their gazes met, his deep brown eyes meeting Chris’s. “I want you to have a chance at happiness, and you aren’t going to do that if you’re ashamed of who you are.”

  Pavle blinked. “How know how stop?” Pavle looked at him with so much trust in his eyes, looking to Chris for guidance and help. In those few seconds, he seemed innocent and a little lost, but determined to understand. Yes… determination seemed to win out over the rest, and it built like a slow fire in Pavle’s eyes.

  A bubble of heat built around Chris, centering on Pavle and the way he seemed to have built a fire so close to him. Chris knew he shouldn’t even think that, but his body had already reacted, and he’d positioned his leg so Pavle didn’t feel him. Damn it all, the last thing he wanted was for Pavle to think Chris was interested in him for sex. No, that was so wrong. Chris would have loved nothing more than to take Pavle upstairs to his bed and make love to him all night long. To show him just how beautiful things could be between people who cared for each other. He could demonstrate that there was truly nothing to be ashamed of for hours.

  In his dreams, he sometimes saw himself holding Pavle’s hand as they walked together through the backyard filled with friends and loved ones. In those snippets that his mind conjured up, he was always smiling and occasionally looked at where they held each other just to prove it was real. Of course, it wasn’t, and he’d wake up, a little lost as the reality of his lonely life washed back over him again.

  “You need to figure that out for yourself.” God, that sounded so stupid and like psychological mumbo jumbo. But it was true and part of what he hoped Pavle was working through in therapy. “I can’t do it for you. But I can tell you that here, in this house, you have nothing to be ashamed of… ever. You get to be yourself, and you don’t have to worry about anyone telling you anything different.”

  “What about Marie?” he asked quietly.

  Chris chuckled and blinked. “Nothing would make Marie happier than you being happy. I know that. She wants that just as much as I do.” His heart raced and his skin tingled everywhere Pavle touched him. Attraction and need grew by the second, and Chris felt his willpower, the ability to resist Pavle, slipping away. But he had to. This was not something he could do, nor was it something Pavle necessarily wanted. Sweat broke out on his brow as Chris gently and slowly moved away. “You need to be happy. I will help you as best I can. Know that you can tell me anything you need to, and I’ll do my best to help get you what you need.” If it was in his power to make Pavle happy, he’d do it.

  Chris got to his feet because he needed some distance between them, afraid Pavle would see just what he’d done to him. No matter how wrong his body’s reaction was, he could do nothing to stop it. Pavle set off a firestorm inside him. Wrong or not, it had happened, and he needed some time to think.

  “I go outside?” Pavle asked, and Chris nodded.

  “Turn on the lights in the garden so you can see.” Chris watched Pavle leave the room, and he waited a few minutes to catch his breath before going to work in the kitchen. He’d intended to finish the cleanup in the morning, but now was as good a time as any, and it would give him something to do besides think about Pavle.

  Chris finished the dishes, his mind still circling with contradictions regarding Pavle. There was only one decision to make, and that was for him to either resolve to keep their relationship professional, or return to work and back out of the assignment. The sheriff wouldn’t be happy, and God knows he’d probably find himself back on duty at the jail before he could turn around. So he’d be professional and forget the ideas that kept creeping into his head.

  He turned out the lights the same way he was determined to turn off that part of himself that kept thinking about Pavle, and made his way to the back room.

  The floods were on in the yard, the flowers awash in light. Pavle wandered the path to the garage, turned, and came toward the house. Chris silently opened the window for fresh air and sat in his chair, a steady stream of Serbian floating to his ears. While Chris had no idea what Pavle was saying, his agitated tone needed no translation. He continued pacing, talking to himself, sometimes louder and other times barely a mutter, but always with an earnestness and plaintive tone to his words.

  He sat back, watching Pavle, until movement on the other side of the fence caught his attention. Chris stiffened and sat forward, watching as the shadows moved again. He jumped out of his seat and ran outside. Pavle approached him, and Chris motioned him toward the door, putting his finger to his lips. Pavle looked at him over his shoulder as he went inside.

  When Pavle was inside, Chris came close to where he’d seen the movement and jumped up on the bench to peer over. “John, what are you doing?” Chris asked when he saw his neighbor trying to climb a tree in his yard. John’s foot slipped off the limb and he nearly fell to the concrete walkway below, scrambling for a few seconds before lowering himself to the ground.

  “Is that some Russian over there?” John demanded as though that made his actions justified. He was one of those conspiracy theory guys. The last time Chris had invited him and his wife over during the summer for a party, he had talked Chris’s ear off about left-wing conspiracies and how they wanted to suppress his right to carry a gun. Frankly, the thought of John with a gun was enough to keep him awake at night.

  “I have a guest staying with me who doesn’t speak a great deal of English. If you had questions, you could have asked.” Chris lifted himself upward, staring at John. “I am a deputy with the sheriff’s department. I don’t think you need to worry about who is staying at my house.” Chris wished he could say the same thing about his neighbors. The stuff he’d heard drifting over the fence had been enough on occasion to curl his hair.

  “I was just checking,” John defended, crossing his arms over his chest. “I have a right to keep my home protected.”

  “Yes, you do.” Chris hardened his features. “But if you want to snoop on me, then maybe I’ll take more of an interest in what’s going on over here.” He held John’s gaze and let his message sink in. He didn’t tell John that he’d installed cameras to watch his backyard from both the house and the garage. They weren’t positioned specifically so he could see his neighbors, but there was some bleed-over.

  Chris stepped back and down onto his side of the fence, then went back inside, setting the lights to motion sensor and closing the door.

  He looked around for Pavle, going from room to room, but didn’t find him. Chris continued upstairs, but he wasn’t in his bedroom. “Pavle,” he called, keeping his voice gentle, even as he wondered what could have happened to him. Chris retraced his steps back through the house and finally found Pavle crouched behind his chair.

  “I no Russian,” Pavle said softly. “He say I Russian. I no.”

  “I know that.” Chris gently took Pavle’s arm and guided him to his feet. “He heard you talking and let his imagination take over. John is a little weird sometimes.”

  “Okay. I no Russian and no like Russians. They hurt us long time.” The level of resentment and anger in Pavle’s voice surprised him. Not that it was there, but its ferocity. Pavle sometimes got scared, but up until now, he hadn’t shown this kind of negativity about anyone other than the people who’d hurt him.

  “All right. He had no right to say that. But you’re safe here.” Chris realized as soon as he said it that Pavle wasn’t going to understand. “He isn’t going to hurt you.”

  “Why he climb tree?” Pavle asked.

  “He’s nosey,” Chris answered.

  “What nosey mean?” Pavle asked, feeling his own
nose like there was something wrong with it.

  “He was curious. He wanted to know why he was hearing you speak and he couldn’t understand it. I told him to mind his own business.” Chris motioned for Pavle to sit down. “Sometimes people say things that might scare you. But you can always ask me about it, okay? You don’t have to hide or run away.” He let that sink in. “What did you think was going to happen?”

  “That he bad.” Pavle swallowed hard. “One who took me, he talk like him.”

  “You mean with an accent?” Chris asked.

  Pavle nodded. “I think he come for me. But he no him? Then he say I Russian….”

  “It’s okay. I’m not mad, but you don’t need to be afraid all the time. John hasn’t lived there for very long, but I’m pretty sure he got the house from his mom and dad.”

  “I know no him, but….”

  Chris did know. “It’s okay to be scared sometimes.”

  “I scared all time. I scared when someone knock on door. I think they come take me away. When it dark, I listen. He… master… he come at night… he drink….” Pavle shook a little. “But he gone now. I know he gone. He scared too.” Sometimes Pavle was incredibly insightful. “I think he leave because I know him.”

  “Yes. He’s afraid of you and what you could say about him.” Chris knew that was right, and he needed to talk to Briggs in the morning to find out if they had made any progress in apprehending the guy who had held him in town. It had been a while… almost too long, and law enforcement needed to bring his most recent captor to justice. Right now they were failing Pavle and the others in his position. Chris knew that sometimes things took time, but he was well aware that the more time passed, the more likely it was that the asshole had skipped town and possibly the state. “He isn’t going to get near you without coming through me first.”

  “I free from him. That means I have power now.” Pavle stood a little straighter.

  “Yes. You do. What you know means you have power. But it also means that others want to stop you from telling what you know.” There were two sides to every coin, and Pavle had to understand all of it.

  Pavle nodded. “But I no Russian,” he said, raising his head.

  Chris put his hands up in surrender. “You not Russian.” He smiled, and Pavle returned it. “I never thought you were.”

  Pavle turned toward the fence Chris shared with John. “He jerk.”

  “Sometimes.” Chris couldn’t help smiling. Maybe he and Pavle were watching too much television. Sometimes Pavle picked up the most interesting words.

  “And nosey,” Pavle added with a smile, pointing to his nose and then motioning for it to grow. “Big nosey.”

  “Yes.” Chris loved that Pavle’s sense of humor was beginning to show through. Some of his fear that had been a constant in his life for so long seemed to be receding, with some of Pavle’s natural personality shining through.

  Pavle shifted his weight from foot to foot.

  “Why are you nervous?” Chris asked.

  Pavle shrugged. “I not know.” He continued rocking from side to side. “Maybe I go bed. Think about it.”

  Chris watched him go and shook his head slightly. There were times when he wished he truly understood Pavle and could read his mind. But then again, the things he’d find there would probably send chills of fear running down his back. Pavle had seen and experienced the darkest parts of humanity, and that left an impression—it changed a person.

  “Good night,” Chris said, and began turning out the last of the lights as he went through the house before going upstairs. As he reached his room, the bathroom door opened and Pavle stepped out in a pair of sleep shorts, on his way to his room. His bare chest was pale, exposing his slightness, his ribs still showing at his sides. Chris swallowed hard and tried not to stare. Anger warred with desire for a few seconds, until he turned away toward his room. “I’ll see you in the morning.” He swallowed once again and closed the door behind him.

  How thin Pavle still was sent an aching throb through his head. He should make sure to add extra food to Pavle’s plates to help ensure he grew stronger and healthier. More worrisome was the fact that the image of him shirtless lingered in Chris’s mind well after he’d closed the bedroom door. But he was beautiful, and even though he was slight, there was a strength in him that carried through in the way he walked and held himself now. He wasn’t hunched and no longer tried to make himself seem small. Pavle had a presence around him, and that was attractive and drew Chris to him like a moth to flame.

  “Damn, I’m so messed up.” And when he closed his eyes to push away the image, it only intensified.

  Chapter 6

  HIS PHONE rang next to the bed, and Chris blinked awake. He rolled over, grabbed the phone to silence it, and checked the screen. He groaned when he saw it was from the station. “Hello?”

  “It’s Briggs.”

  Chris forced his mind to work. “What’s going on?”

  “We got him.” Briggs actually sounded happy. “Harvey Anthony is sitting in jail at this moment, and you’re not going to believe this. He was picked up at a hotel in the Poconos with his wife and kids. It seems he told them he’d been on an extended business trip for the last few weeks and then asked them to meet him at the hotel. The state police picked him up for us.”

  “Oh, God. Did his family have any idea?” Chris felt for them.

  “I don’t think so. The wife went nuts. Apparently when they told her what they were arresting her husband for, she threatened to cut off his manhood and shove it down his throat.” Briggs was definitely taking some delight in all this. “Anyway, I wanted to let you know, and we’re going to arrange a viewing so Pavle can formally identify him. Then we can put our part of this case behind us.”

  “Our part?” Chris asked.

  “That’s what the sheriff said. The rest of the case is the jurisdiction of the state and FBI. I think he plans to turn Pavle over to them and—”

  Chris growled. “The hell he is. Pavle isn’t some piece of property or something he can stick in an evidence locker.” The more he interacted with the new sheriff, the more he came to hate the man.

  “I agree with you, so I put a call in to the FBI and they agree as well.” Damn, Briggs was sneaky. “They want Pavle kept right where he is for now.”

  “The boss is going to have your head if he finds out you went around him.” Chris liked Briggs, but his esteem for the man jumped considerably. “I won’t say a thing. You know that. Just let me know when I need to have Pavle at the station.”

  “I’ll take him in. You’re on leave, remember? I don’t want anyone to see you here right now. I’ll let you know where to meet me, and then I’ll return him to your house when we’re done.” He yawned. “I’m beginning to narrow down our leak. I believe it’s here, but I’m not getting anywhere fast. Three deputies and the sheriff were given access to the Social Services housing database within the last week. Their access was supposed to be specific and for a limited time, and it’s now been revoked again, as it should be.”

  “But you think one of them tried to look up where Pavle was?”

  “That’s the theory I’m working under right now.”

  Chris stretched. “I’ll have Marie get in touch with you directly. She maintains that system and can probably help you get more information pretty quickly, especially if you know who to look for.”

  “Good. Text me the information, and I’ll call her in the morning.” Briggs yawned again.

  “Have you been home yet?” Chris checked the time again, groaning softly. That was Briggs. When he was on the trail of something, he was like a bulldog and didn’t give up, even at three in the morning.

  “I’m on my way out now. It’s easier to work on this when nobody is here. I’ll call about nine to make arrangements.” He ended the call.

  Chris sent Briggs Marie’s contact information. He also sent her a message that Briggs was going to be in touch, figuring she would see it in the morning.r />
  What’s happened? Marie texted back.

  Don’t you sleep either? he sent her.

  Insomnia.

  Okay. Apparently no one slept. They got the man who was holding Pavle. He’s in custody. Briggs is going to take Pavle in for identification. He’ll also work with you to help determine who might be using your system improperly. He has people he wants to look into. He sent a smiley face because all this was good news. Progress was good.

  Awesome. I’ll be glad to work with him. How is Pavle?

  Doing better, I think. Coming to grips with a few things. Maybe you can stop by if you’re careful not to be seen. I have some things to ask you. And you can talk to him. He asks about you.

  Be there tomorrow afternoon. She sent a smiley face, and Chris returned one, then set his phone on the nightstand before trying to go back to sleep.

  “Chris.” Pavle’s muffled voice barely reached his ears, followed by a soft knock.

  Chris got up, slipping on the blue robe he’d slung over the back of his chair before opening the door. “Can’t you sleep?” he asked. Pavle wore shorts and one of Chris’s old T-shirts, which hung on him. Chris’s heart did a little flutter.

  “I hear you talking. I hear my name.” He wiped his eyes and shuffled inside a few steps before stopping. “I no sleep.”

  “Okay.” Chris sat on the edge of the bed. “They caught Harvey Anthony, and he’s in jail right now. Deputy Briggs is going to take you to identify him. He will not be able to see you, and all you have to do is say if he’s really the man who held you here. That’s all. After that Briggs will bring you back. There is no way Anthony can hurt you, and you need to be strong, if you can.”

  Pavle nodded. “I be strong.”

  “Good. Marie will come over tomorrow afternoon to talk to you. She wants to see how you’re doing. Okay? Briggs is a good man and he will look after you.”

  “Why you no come?” Pavle asked. “Want you there.”

  “No one at the department knows where you are. They think I am on family leave, and we don’t want anyone to know anything different. So they cannot see me. I am going to bring you to Briggs, and he will drive you back here. If you want, I can make sure Marie is there.” He wished so very much that he could go along with Pavle, but it was for his ultimate safety. Chris patted the space next to him, and Pavle sat on the edge of the bed. “You are strong enough that you can do this. I know you can.” He took Pavle’s hand.