The Affair_A gripping psychological thriller with a shocking twist

by Sheryl Browne

  Justin hesitated. He would be there: Radley, being way too intimate with his wife. And he was supposed to do what? Stand by and watch? ‘Just tell her I’ll see her later.’

  ‘At home?’ Jessica asked worriedly.

  Justin nodded, and turned to Sophie, who was looking at him in bewilderment. ‘Stay with your mum, Sophie, will you?’ he asked her throatily. ‘Please. Can you do that for me?’

  Her expression now a kaleidoscope of confused emotions, Sophie nodded uncertainly, as Justin turned around again and walked away.

  Thirteen

  JESSICA

  Jessica glanced after Justin and then back to Alicia, who was still talking to Paul Radley. Seeing him there was clearly more than a little disconcerting for Justin, given the attention Paul had paid Alicia at her party. She really couldn’t blame Justin for leaving, after seeing the man attempt to monopolise her again, here of all places.

  She should intervene, she supposed. Clearly, Alicia needed rescuing. Her daughter needed her right now. Jessica doubted she would do in lieu of her mother.

  Seeing Sophie was extremely upset, Jessica placed an arm around her niece’s shoulders and eased her towards her.

  ‘Why is he going? Without Mum?’ Sophie asked, tears cascading down her face. ‘I don’t get it?’

  Jessica hugged her closer. ‘I think he just needs some space, sweetheart,’ she said. ‘Don’t worry, he’ll probably be at home when you get there.’

  ‘They’re not coping.’ Sophie cried harder. ‘They’re avoiding talking about him, about anything meaningful. I don’t know what to do.’

  ‘They’re hurting, lovely,’ Jessica said soothingly. ‘Probably both feeling guilty and not sure how to reach out to each other. I know you want to help, but there’s nothing you can do in reality. Just give them some time, and remember they love you however preoccupied they might seem.’

  Sophie nodded. ‘I don’t want to go to the reception either,’ she sniffled. ‘Not without Dad. People I’ve never even met will be trying to talk to me about Luke, and I know they’ll mean well, but they didn’t know him, did they? It’s just…’

  ‘Too much?’ Jessica suggested.

  Sophie’s nod this time was one of relief.

  ‘I tell you what, why don’t you come and stay with me for a few days? We could have a good natter, try to put the world to rights, watch romantic films when that fails, and then have a good cry together.’

  Sophie didn’t look sure.

  ‘It would be good therapy,’ Jessica said. ‘We could even go out for the odd pizza, or whatever you fancy. What do you say? I could use the company. I’m a bit fed up of knocking around my empty house on my own, to be honest, and it might give your mum and dad a bit of space.’

  ‘I don’t know,’ Sophie said hesitantly. ‘Do you think Mum would mind?’

  Jessica glanced towards where Alicia was still talking to Paul Radley. ‘I shouldn’t think so. She’ll understand you need some space, too. She’s going to be tied up at the reception anyway from the looks.’

  Sophie followed her gaze. ‘Who’s he?’ she asked, perturbed.

  ‘Just a friend,’ Jessica supplied. ‘An old work colleague. He’s been working in Dubai for a few years. They’ve obviously got things to catch up on. Look, if you really can’t face the reception, we’ll have a word with your mum and slip off now. We could go and grab your stuff on the way. Your dad’s probably headed off home, so you might be able to have a word with him before you leave. Sound like a plan?’

  ‘But how will mum get to the reception?’ Sophie asked, clearly concerned about her mum, which was commendable. Sophie was turning out to be a very caring young woman. Jessica would be proud to have a daughter like her. She couldn’t help but feel a pang of jealousy as she recalled her own lost babies. The man who’d been in her life back then had seemed to think she shouldn’t even grieve over them, since she’d never managed to get past the crucial three-month stage of her pregnancies.

  She had grieved for them, silently. She’d even grieved for their indifferent father, pathetically, since a man who’d walked out on her while she’d been losing their child hadn’t been worth wasting a single tear on.

  Shaking off her sadness, because here wasn’t the place if she wasn’t to end up sobbing like a child herself, Jessica turned her attention back to Sophie, Alicia really should be paying her a bit more attention. She was bound to be emotional after standing up there and giving the eulogy so beautifully. But then, Alicia wouldn’t know whether she was on her head or her heels right now. And Paul Radley reappearing certainly wouldn’t be helping her emotional state.

  ‘She’ll travel in the funeral car,’ she said, smiling reassuringly. ‘And if she doesn’t want to do that, I’m sure one of the guests won’t mind taking her.’

  Paul Radley, for one. Jessica debated the wisdom of allowing Alicia to be alone in his company for too long. But she clearly did need to talk to him. As Alicia had said, when he’d turned up at her party uninvited, she needed to establish why he’d reappeared after so long. She could hardly bury her head in the sand and ignore the fact that he was here.

  She actually might be doing Alicia a favour, taking Sophie off her hands for a while. And with a bit of luck, they would catch Justin at home. Plainly, he’d been upset and angry, seeing Paul Radley here. Jessica really couldn’t blame him. The least she could do was offer him a shoulder and try to reassure him.

  Fourteen

  ALICIA

  ‘I really am so sorry, Alicia,’ Paul said, his face earnest.

  Alicia didn’t answer. She was too stunned.

  ‘I’m taking up far too much of your time. I know you don’t want to hear about my reasons for not being able to get back to the UK until now, but if there’s anything I can do.’ He smiled kindly. ‘Anything at all…’

  Yes, there is, Alicia thought. Please, please leave me alone. ‘No, there isn’t,’ she said quickly, her stomach tight with nerves as she looked past him again in search of Justin, who would be as confounded as she as to why Paul was here.

  ‘I couldn’t believe it when David told me your news.’ Paul shook his head in commiseration.

  David? Alicia tried to think past the chaos of jumbled thoughts in her head. One of Jessica’s old flames. She recalled what Jessica had told her at the party, insisting that, though she’d been quite close to Paul Radley when they’d all worked together, socialising with him along with this David, she hadn’t invited him to the party. He’d apparently arrived with David, who also worked in financial services. Presumably, they were friends. It made sense. But it didn’t make her feel any better about him turning up out of the blue – again.

  ‘I wanted to call by and pay my respects,’ Paul went on, apparently oblivious to her growing desperation to end the conversation and get back to her family.

  His respects? Alicia was doubly stunned at that. He didn’t know the meaning of the word. If he had any respect at all, for anyone, he would not… Her thoughts ground to a halt as her gaze fell on Sophie, who was walking away from the church with Jessica. She couldn’t see Justin. Panic clutched at her stomach. Where on earth was he?

  ‘Paul, I have to go. My family needs me,’ she repeated firmly, moving past him, now frantically scanning the immediate vicinity of the churchyard, the groups of people heading towards parked cars, preparing to go on to the reception. Where was he? She’d lost sight of him when Jessica had stopped her as they’d filed out of the church.

  Hurrying towards Sophie and Jessica, she caught up with them. ‘Sophie, sweetheart…’ Her heart plummeted as Sophie turned towards her, tears now flowing unchecked down her face. ‘It’s all right, baby,’ she said, her voice catching as she pulled her towards her. ‘It’s all right.’

  ‘It’s not though, Mum, is it? How can it be?’ Sophie mumbled into her shoulder.

  ‘She doesn’t want to go to the reception.’ Stroking Sophie’s hair, Jessica filled Alicia in. ‘I said she didn’t have to, I hope tha
t’s okay? Justin’s already left, by the way.’

  Left? Oh God, no. Because of Paul Radley? ‘When?’ Alicia asked, panic tightening her chest.

  ‘A few minutes ago. I think he needed to be on his own.’ Jessica met her eyes, an attempt at reassurance in her own, and then glanced past her to Paul Radley, who was walking towards them. ‘I’ve told Sophie she can come and stay with me for a few days, if that’s okay with you. I said I’d take her back to fetch her things.’

  Alicia shook her head, bewildered. ‘I should take her,’ she said. ‘I should be with her. With Justin. Is he all right? I mean, did he seem…’ She trailed hopelessly off. Of course he wasn’t all right. How could he be? She looked at her sister in desperation.

  Jessica wrapped an arm around her. ‘He’s fine. Well, as fine as he can be. He just needed some time alone,’ she assured her. ‘He’ll probably go on to the reception.’

  Alicia searched her face, unconvinced.

  ‘Why don’t you go straight there,’ Jessica suggested. ‘People will expect to see you. It was Justin’s colleagues who paid for the buffet, after all. At least you can be there in lieu of him until he turns up. I’m sure he will, Ali.’

  Alicia hesitated. She should, if only for a short while. Searching Sophie’s face worriedly, she debated her options.

  ‘I’ll be fine, Mum,’ Sophie said, wiping a black track of mascara sideways across her face. ‘I’d like to go to Jess’s for a few days, to be honest. You know, away from… things at the house.’

  Alicia felt her heart wrench inside her. Away from reminders of Luke, she meant, which were far, far too painful for her. ‘As long as you’re sure,’ she said slowly. She couldn’t bear the thought of Sophie being on her own and hurting. How could she let her daughter out of sight of her right now?

  Nodding, Sophie smiled weakly.

  My beautiful daughter. She had to keep her safe. Had to.

  Squeezing her hard, Alicia reluctantly let her go. Reaching to brush her hair from her face, she cupped her cheek with her hand and gently kissed her forehead. It will be all right, baby. It will be. Even as she thought it, Alicia felt the thread snagging, as if her life was already unravelling. ‘I’ll ring you,’ she promised.

  ‘I’ve called a taxi. Why don’t you get off before everyone starts leaving.’ Jessica suggested.

  ‘I can give you a lift, if you like?’ Paul offered, standing suddenly by Alicia’s side.

  Taken by surprise, Alicia jumped, and then glanced warily at him.

  ‘No,’ she said quickly, preferring him to have as little contact with her family as possible. ‘Take the funeral car, Jess. I’ll take the taxi.’

  ‘Are you sure?’ Jessica eyes flicked between her and Paul.

  Alicia nodded. ‘I’d be happier knowing Sophie’s left safely with you,’ she assured her, hoping her sister would get the message.

  ‘Okay,’ Jess said, looking a little reluctant. ‘Watch what you’re doing, Ali.’ Giving her a firm hug, she slid an arm around Sophie’s waist and led her on towards the car.

  Her heart going into freefall, Alicia blinked her own tears back, determined to hold herself together, to harness the strength to try to hold her family together. She had to.

  ‘The offer still stands,’ Paul said, as Jessica and Sophie headed off. ‘My car’s just over there.’ He nodded towards it. It will save you waiting around for a taxi.’

  Hesitant to go anywhere with him, Alicia tried to read his expression. His dark eyes were intent, determined. His smile, though, was sympathetic – no innuendo, she noted, somewhat calmed.

  Guardedly, she nodded. It would be a chance to talk to him alone, perhaps her only chance, and she needed to. She had no choice but to. She had to find out what he wanted and then get him out of her life, out of Justin’s and Sophie’s lives, whatever it took.

  ‘Good,’ he said, leading the way. ‘It’s the least I can do, after all.’

  Alicia followed him, bemused by the fact that he didn’t seem to realise the least he could do was to stay away from her, from her family.

  ‘Do you want to give me the address?’ he said, once they’d climbed into his car.

  Alicia gave him the details, and then waited while he fiddled with the satnav.

  ‘Bear with me.’ He smiled in frustration. ‘It’s a rental car. I’m not quite sure where everything is yet.’

  The address finally entered, Alicia looked out of the window as they drove slowly out of the cemetery. She wouldn’t talk to him here, where she’d just laid her beautiful, innocent baby to rest. It would be a desecration of his memory to even begin to discuss something that would hurt his father so badly.

  Bye, little Lucas. Mummy will be back soon, sweetheart. Alicia closed her eyes as they passed through the gates, feeling afresh the wound in her chest where a piece of her heart had gone with him.

  Ten minutes. She swallowed, calculating the time she must spend with Paul Radley until they reached the hotel, then steeled herself and turned towards him. ‘Why are you here, Paul?’ she asked him. Though calm on the outside, her emotions were in turmoil.

  Paul glanced at her and then back to the road. ‘On holiday,’ he said, repeating what he’d told her at the party. ‘Looks like it’s going to be a bit of an extended stay now though.’

  Alicia’s heart sank. ‘Oh, how so?’ she asked, bracing herself for what he might say.

  ‘I’ve been offered a contract to stay and head up some investment seminars by Graham & Young Investments.’ Paul turned again to look at her, his gaze lingering this time. ‘Obviously, they value my expertise. Just a short-term contract,’ he went on, smiling inscrutably and looking back to the road. ‘I should be on my way back to Dubai fairly shortly.

  ‘Okay?’ he asked her kindly, a second later, as Alicia wiped away another tear, this time one of relief.

  Fifteen

  JUSTIN

  Counting steadily, his gaze fixed downwards, Justin kept walking. He didn’t much care where. He just needed space to think. He had to be getting this out of proportion. There was no way Alicia could have had an affair! He would have known. He would have known!

  Had he read all the signs but refused to acknowledge it? He’d certainly wondered about her staying over at a girlfriend’s more than once. The evasive eye contact when he’d asked her which friend. He’d dismissed it. Told himself he was being paranoid. His biggest fear, when he’d woken up to the fact that he’d been so wrapped up in his grief over his family that he’d barely paid her any attention, had been that he would lose her. So, what if she had? Justin felt his heart drift free from its moorings. What then? He had absolutely no idea what he would do. None.

  Reaching his road, he was surprised to see Jessica’s car parked outside the house. They must have left the funeral soon after he had. Probably because he had. He shouldn’t have, but how could he have stayed? How could he have made polite conversation when he felt as if he were dying inside?

  Groping for some sort of composure, Justin let himself through the front door, where he found Jessica and Sophie in the hall.

  ‘Dad!’ Relief flooding her face, Sophie flung herself towards him. ‘Are you all right?’

  Wrapping an arm around her, Justin squeezed her shoulders. ‘I’m okay, Pumpkin,’ he assured her, his throat tight. Glancing past her, he looked along the hall, and then, seeing no evidence of Alicia, looked questioningly back to Jessica.

  ‘I think Alicia’s gone to the reception to thank people,’ Jessica supplied. ‘Sophie was upset, so I offered to drive back with her.’

  He shouldn’t have left his daughter. Justin glanced down at her, his gut wrenching as he noted her swollen eyes and smudged make-up. He hadn’t been thinking straight. Then again, maybe he had. Maybe he was now acknowledging something he’d refused to see before.

  ‘Why don’t you go and grab your stuff, Sophie?’ Jessica smiled encouragingly in Sophie’s direction. ‘I’ll have a quick word with your dad.’

  Sophie looke
d uncertainly between them, and then nodded. She was halfway up the stairs when there was a knock at the front door.

  Justin opened it to find Sophie’s friend Chloe standing there. ‘I just wondered if Sophie was okay,’ she said, glancing towards the stairs. ‘I can come back if you’re busy.’

  ‘It’s okay, Chloe,’ Sophie called, coming back down. ‘Ten minutes,’ she said to Jessica.

  Justin smiled, feeling relieved, as she headed past him to go outside, probably wanting to talk in private. He was glad she had a friend who obviously cared. She would need one – perhaps more than she knew.

  Jessica waited until the front door had closed. ‘She’s coming to stay with me for a while, if that’s okay?’ she said, smiling sympathetically at Justin. ‘She was actually very upset after you’d gone. And Alicia was… Well, you know, busy talking to people. I thought it might be a good idea to get Sophie away from the house for a few days.’

  ‘Right.’ Justin nodded tightly, guessing Jessica had diplomatically stopped short of stating the obvious: that Alicia had been too busy talking to her ‘old acquaintance’ to notice how upset her daughter was. ‘And is Sophie okay with that?’ he asked, concerned that she might feel pushed out in some way.

  ‘I think she could use some breathing space, to be honest,’ Jess said, obviously well aware of the emotional toll all of this would have had on her. ‘I thought we’d watch some girly films together, go out for a meal maybe. You know, do normal stuff. It might do her good.’

  Justin guessed it probably would. Things had been far from normal here. Judging by their conversation the other night, pushed out was exactly how Sophie did feel.

  ‘She needs you, Justin,’ Jess reminded him – as if she needed to. ‘Alicia’s bound to be a bit preoccupied now, but Sophie’s going to need someone to talk to.’