The Affair_A gripping psychological thriller with a shocking twist

by Sheryl Browne

  Finally, Chloe picked up. ‘Hey, what’s happening ?’ she said warily, aware from Sophie’s texts earlier about her mum’s dirty little secret that the shit was about to hit the fan.

  ‘Everything,’ Sophie said shakily. ‘It’s a complete nightmare. Mum’s just arrived. I swear, if she tells me one more lie…’ Sophie stopped and squeezed her eyes closed. ‘I need to talk to you, Chloe,’ she went on tearfully, despite her best efforts not to waste tears on people who obviously didn’t give a damn about her. ‘Can I come over?’

  ‘Crap, I’m not in tonight, Sophe,’ Chloe said worriedly. ‘I’m babysitting.’

  Shit! Panic twisted inside her as Sophie heard someone coming up the stairs. ‘I have to go. Can you meet me somewhere?’ she asked her. ‘Please, Chloe. I really need to talk to you.’

  Chloe hesitated. ‘I’ll get something sorted,’ she said, after a second. ‘Where and when?’

  Sophie blew out a sigh of relief. ‘Brum town centre. An hour? I’m taking the bus. I’ll meet you in the Bull Ring, outside H&M, second floor.’

  ‘Okay,’ Chloe said uncertainly, as Sophie rang off.

  Pushing her phone into her bag, she braced herself, turning to face the door as there was a light tap on it. If a single untruth came out of her mouth, if she tried to justify what she’d done in any way, Sophie would be out of the door, and she could rot in hell.

  ‘Hi.’ Coming cautiously in, her mum looked at her uncertainly. ‘How are you?’

  Sophie almost laughed at that. ‘Ecstatic,’ she said shortly. ‘How would you be?’

  Her mum’s face paled.

  ‘So, who is he?’ Sophie asked bluntly, careless of the fact that her mum actually looked like shit. As far as she was concerned, she deserved to. ‘The man you cheated on Justin with,’ she clarified, as her mum grew an impossible shade whiter. ‘You know, my father – as opposed to the man you passed off as my dad for the whole of my life!’

  Her mum flinched, as if she’d just slapped her. Through narrowed eyes, Sophie watched the swallow slide down her throat, her arms going protectively around herself. It wasn’t going to work. The fragile, defensive body language wasn’t going to cut it. Not this time. ‘Well?’ she demanded.

  Alicia’s eyes scuttled for the safety of the floor. ‘I don’t know,’ she said weakly. ‘Not for sure. I—’

  ‘You don’t know?’ Sophie stared at her, incredulous. ‘You mean it was a one-night stand?’ Lie number fucking one. She’d heard Justin asking Jess how long it had gone on. Whether it was still going on. So, obviously he thought it was. How could she do that to him? How?

  ‘No! I didn’t mean…’ Stumbling over her words, Alicia shook her head. ‘I meant I wasn’t sure whether—’

  ‘Who, Mum?’ Sophie kept eyeballing her.

  ‘A colleague,’ Alicia finally said.

  ‘Ah, an office romance,’ Sophie said facetiously. ‘How boringly predictable.’

  ‘No. It wasn’t like that,’ Alicia said, looking more flustered by the second. Trying to remember her lies, Sophie thought angrily. ‘There was an after-work thing. A birthday party. I—’

  ‘An office jolly.’ Sophie widened her eyes girlishly. ‘So, obviously it was perfectly reasonable to end it with a fun shag with the nearest bloke. What, was it his fucking birthday?’

  ‘No! I didn’t intend for it to happen, Sophie. I’d been drinking. I lost track of how much. Your dad… Justin wasn’t well, and I—’

  ‘Oh, nice one,’ Sophie sneered. ‘He’s not well, so you feel sorry for yourself and decide to get a little attention elsewhere?’

  ‘No. I didn’t decide anything. I… He…’ Alicia trailed off, tears spilling down her cheeks. ‘Sophie, please… You’ve every right to be angry, but please sit down and let me try to explain properly. I know how it looks, and I did lie to Justin, but—’

  ‘Who is he, Mum?’ Swiping tears from under her own eyes, Sophie stayed standing. ‘The man at the funeral, the man Justin was staring at, was that him? Is that why he left so suddenly?’

  Alicia didn’t answer. She didn’t need to. The guilt in her eyes said it all.

  ‘You’re a real bitch, do you know that, Mum?’ Sophie said quietly. ‘He’s just buried his baby! And now he has to deal with this shit! Of course, that’s assuming Lucas was his baby.’

  Alicia looked up sharply. ‘Sophie, stop it,’ she begged. ‘Please stop.’

  ‘I wish I could,’ Sophie said, her heart pounding so hard she was sure it would burst right out of her chest. ‘I wish I could stop my fucking life and get off!’

  ‘It was never meant to happen!’ Alicia sobbed. ‘I didn’t mean to hurt Justin. I didn’t want any of this.’

  Sophie studied her mum hard. ‘So you regret it then?’

  Alicia looked at her bewilderedly. ‘Of course I do. I wish to God I could turn back the clock, but I can’t!’

  ‘Cheers, Mum,’ Sophie said, her heart sinking without trace. ‘You know what, you don’t regret it half as much as I do. Have a nice life.’ Swallowing hard, she turned away.

  ‘Sophie, wait!’ Alicia tried to stop her as she grabbed up her bag and turned to push past her. ‘I didn’t mean I regret having you. I’ve never for one second regretted—’

  ‘I wish I was fucking dead!’ Sophie spat.

  Did her mum honestly think she wanted to listen to this crap? That she would want to hang around while they split up, tearing her apart in the process? Well, stuff that. She wasn’t about to stay here or with her bitch mother – no way. And Justin was hardly going to want her living with him. He’d want out of the whole crappy situation. At least they had that much in common, she thought cynically, as she thundered down the stairs.

  Twenty-Five

  JUSTIN

  ‘Chloe, slow down.’ Holding the telephone close to his ear, Justin tried to make sense of what Sophie’s friend was saying. ‘Where and when were you supposed to be meeting her?’

  ‘In town, but I’m babysitting.’ Chloe still wasn’t making much sense, frustratingly. ‘She rang me earlier, and then she rang me again, and she sounded so upset. I’m worried about her, Mr Cole. I can’t take the baby with me and I—’

  ‘Whoa. Chloe, please, slow down.’ Justin felt a knot of panic climb his throat. ‘Take the baby where? Why was she upset?’

  Chloe didn’t answer.

  Justin pressed his fingers to his temple. ‘Chloe, this is really important,’ he said, working to keep the immense agitation he was feeling from his voice. ‘I wouldn’t ask you to share anything you thought was confidential otherwise.’

  ‘Birmingham. The Bull Ring shopping centre. Outside H&M, on the second floor. Sophie said she was catching the bus in. She’s probably already halfway there by now.’

  ‘Okay.’ Justin nodded. He needed to go. But first, he needed to know why she’d taken off. ‘Can you tell me why she was upset, Chloe?’ he urged her gently. ‘Is it to do with Luke and the funeral?’

  Again, Chloe was reluctant. ‘She heard you, Mr Cole,’ she confided, eventually. She heard what you were saying… about her not being yours. She was really upset. I should have told her to come here, but I didn’t think, and now—’

  ‘Jesus Christ.’ Why hadn’t he done something? He’d known she had. Cold dread pooled in the pit of Justin’s stomach.

  ‘I thought you should know. I wasn’t sure what else to do,’ Chloe was talking fast now, sounding scared. ‘I’m sorry, Mr Cole. I—’

  ‘It’s okay, Chloe. It’s fine. I’ll find her,’ Justin reassured her. ‘Let me have your number and I’ll text you.’ He snatched up the newly delivered loan car keys and his mobile, noting several messages from Alicia as he did so. ‘Meanwhile, will you let me know if she gets back to you?’

  ‘Uh-huh, yes, I will, I promise.’ Sounding relieved, Chloe reeled off her number. ‘Do you want me to text her?’ she asked tentatively. ‘I thought maybe if I told her I was coming, but I was running late, that, you know, it might buy you a bit of ti
me.’

  ‘Good idea. You did the right thing, Chloe.’ Justin quickly keyed in her number and sent her his. ‘I’ll be in touch.’

  He was halfway out of the front door when Alicia rang. ‘Justin, it’s Sophie – she’s gone!’ she said frantically when he picked up. ‘She heard… What you and Jessica were discussing. She… She’s taken her overnight bag. She’s not answering her phone. I’ve tried her a hundred times. I don’t know what to do. I—’

  ‘Fuck!’ Justin’s chest constricted. If she’d taken her overnight bag, she clearly intended to stay away from Jessica’s. Would she come back here? Justin very much doubted it, now that he knew what she’d overheard. She had her key, but… Dammit! He needed to find her.

  ‘I know. Chloe rang me.’ Drawing in a tight breath, he braced himself. ‘Is it true?’ Do not lie to me, Alicia.

  An agonising second ticked by, before she delivered the blow that would surely kill him. ‘I… I don’t know.’

  ‘I see,’ Justin said quietly. He felt close to exploding. ‘So, what did you expect her to do, Alicia? Sit down and have a nice, calm conversation over a fucking cup of tea?’

  ‘Oh God. Justin, I…’ Alicia broke off with a sob. ‘I’m sorry. I am so, so sorry. I never intended to hurt you or Sophie, I swear I didn’t.’

  ‘Right.’ Yanking his car door open, Justin threw himself behind the wheel. ‘That’s not how it looks from here, Alicia.’

  ‘I know. I’m sorry.’ Alicia sobbed harder. ‘I know you can’t forgive me. I know you won’t ever, but please, please help Sophie.’

  ‘Jesus!’ Justin slammed the car door. ‘Did you honestly think I wouldn’t?’

  ‘No. I…’ Alicia’s voice caught wretchedly in her throat. ‘I’m so sorry.’

  ‘So you said.’ Justin breathed in hard. ‘Just tell me one thing, Alicia. Was he worth it? Was he worth this?’

  Alicia didn’t answer. Justin guessed from her choking sobs that she couldn’t. ‘I have to go. I have to find my daughter,’ he spat. He simply didn’t have it in him to be anything but angry. It was too late for apologies – way too late. The cold, hard fact was that her deceit had led to this. If he didn’t find her tonight… anything could happen by morning. He might never find her. That thought slicing through him like a knife, Justin cut the call, started the engine and screeched the car out of the drive.

  Twenty-Six

  JESSICA

  ‘Ali?’ Jessica said tentatively, walking to where Alicia stood motionless in the hall.

  ‘He hung up.’ Alicia looked tearfully down at her phone. ‘I’ve destroyed him. Destroyed my whole family.’

  ‘Come on, Ali. Tears won’t help anything. Let’s go and sit down and think about what to do – calmly.’ Sliding an arm around her sister, Jessica attempted to lead her towards the kitchen. She decided not to point out that Alicia wasn’t the only one feeling terrible right now. Alicia might have brought this on herself, but Sophie had done nothing to deserve this. Justin definitely hadn’t, and he’d no doubt be feeling awful. She would ring him, Jessica decided, as soon as she could. The poor man would be gutted, thinking he hadn’t got a soul in the world to talk to.

  ‘He’ll call back,’ she tried to reassure Alicia. And he probably would, because that’s the kind of man he was: caring. ‘He’s bound to be shocked and upset. You need to give him some time, Ali. It’s an awful lot to take in.’

  ‘He hates me! He has every reason to. I lied to him, Jess, about the most important thing in his life! Even knowing he might find out, I kept on lying to him.’

  ‘I know.’ Jessica nodded sympathetically. ‘I did warn you what might happen, but you were so adamant. You know, sometimes the biggest lie of all is the lie we tell to ourselves, sweetheart.’ She sighed sadly, aware of her own propensity to do just that.

  She’d lied to herself for years, telling herself Michael, the would-have-been father of her children, had they survived, wasn’t a complete misogynist. He was – a controlling, self-centred woman-hater. He hadn’t liked her friends, hadn’t wanted her to meet his friends, the way she’d dressed, the things she’d said whenever they were in company. He clearly hadn’t liked her very much in the end, as proven by the fact that he’d walked out on her when she’d realised she was miscarrying – again. She must have been mad, and obviously attracted to bastards. She hadn’t known any man that wasn’t a bastard in some form, apart from Justin.

  She wished she’d spotted him before Alicia had called first dibs on him. She and Alicia had been working for the same company then, alongside Paul Radley. In fact, it was Jessica putting in a word for her that had got Alicia the job. In gratitude for which, Alicia had nabbed the only decent man for miles from right under her nose. Justin had been coming out of a seminar at the same venue in which they were holding their sales conference, and had walked right into her. They’d practically fallen into each other’s arms, and that had been that. Jessica wouldn’t have ended up with the misogynist if he’d walked into her first, and Justin wouldn’t have ended up with his heart broken. But, of course, in falling into Alicia, Justin had fallen for her. It had been obvious that he was immediately smitten by her rosy blushes and self-effacing apologies. Alicia, with her complete inability to see her own attractions – to see that her shyness obviously was an attraction – had wondered what the handsome young doctor saw in her. Jessica couldn’t help thinking that Justin might be asking himself the same question right now.

  Alicia wiped a hand across her eyes. She really did look wretched. Jessica doubted she’d had a wink of sleep since Paul Radley had turned up, and this was without losing dear little Lucas. She couldn’t help but feel for her.

  ‘Convincing myself I was doing it for Justin you mean.’ Alicia clearly got the gist, another crop of tears spilling from her eyes. ‘He’d been wounded and broken and lost, and I made it my excuse to tear his heart out. He will never, ever forgive me. How can he? And Sophie… Dear God, Sophie.’

  ‘You did it for the right reasons, sweetie.’ Jessica assured her, stepping in front of her and taking hold of her hands. ‘He’ll call back.’ She locked her eyes on hers. ‘Whatever he feels about you, he loves Sophie, Alicia. He’ll be there for her. You know he will.’

  Alicia nodded, squeezing her eyes closed. ‘I know. But that’s what makes it so cruel, don’t you see? He would have loved her anyway, if only I’d found the courage to tell him, been honest from the outset and given him a chance.’

  ‘Possibly,’ Jessica conceded, though he would have to be a saint to have stayed with her, in reality. It wouldn’t be easy for any man to accept his wife might be carrying another man’s baby, even someone as family-orientated as Justin, and that was obviously Alicia’s real reason for not telling him. She should have been honest with herself and with him, given him a chance at another relationship, if that’s what he’d wanted. ‘We can’t undo history, though, can we, sadly?’

  Alicia glanced upwards. ‘I wish to God I’d listened to you.’ A shudder ran through her. I might as well have taken a knife to his heart.’

  ‘You’re being too hard on yourself. He will be hurting. Of course he will. But you know him well enough to know his thoughts will be on Sophie,’ Jessica repeated firmly. ‘Let him concentrate his efforts on finding her. It’s better he’s focussed on that.’

  Shakily, Alicia nodded. ‘You’re right,’ she said, making a visible effort to stem her tears. ‘There’s no point trying to offer him explanations – not now. He won’t want to hear them.’

  ‘Just give him some time,’ Jessica said, giving her a hug and finally managing to lead her to the kitchen. ‘Do you have any idea where she might be?’

  ‘Thankfully.’ Alicia nodded, running a hand under her nose. ‘Chloe rang him at home. Sophie spoke to her, apparently. She probably felt she had no one else to turn to.’

  Including her. Jessica felt sad and angry about that. She would never wish any harm on her niece. She’d been put in an impossible situation. Sworn to keep
Alicia’s secret for her, she’d lost the trust of people that mattered to her, too. One day, when she was less fragile, Jessica really needed to point that out to her sister.

  ‘That’s probably where she is then,’ she said reassuringly, pointing Alicia towards the kitchen table and making sure she sat down. She looked very wobbly on her feet – unsurprising, given the shock she’d had. ‘Don’t worry too much, Ali. She might not want to come home right away, but Justin will make sure she’s okay.’

  ‘But what if she’s not at Chloe’s?’ Alicia looked fearfully up at her. ‘What then?’

  ‘Then we start ringing around anyone else she might know. We’ll find her, Alicia,’ Jessica said adamantly.

  ‘But what if we don’t?’

  Noting the look in Alicia’s eyes now was one of palpable terror, Jessica felt icy trepidation sweep the length of her spine. She wouldn’t wish that on her. On poor Justin. She needed to ring him, as soon as possible. Make sure he knew that she’d been absolutely sworn to secrecy. She couldn’t bear the thought of him being angry with her, thinking she’d condoned Alicia’s behaviour.

  Twenty-Seven

  JUSTIN

  A mixture of guilt and anger gnawing away at him, Justin keyed in a text to Alicia as he headed towards the shop Chloe had mentioned. As furious as he was, he couldn’t leave her worrying herself sick. She would be beside herself with grief, feeling bereft twofold, as he was. Sorrow weighed like a cold stone inside him as he thought of his innocent baby boy, whose soul they’d laid to rest just a few hours ago. It seemed like a lifetime had passed since then. I’ll call you as soon as I know anything, he typed, and then hesitated, not sure how to sign off, dearly wishing it was possible to turn back the clock to a time where their lives weren’t irretrievably fractured and he would have ended his text with a single X, as always. Not any more. It was all gone, everything they’d ever had together, slipping through his hands as surely as water through his fingers.