Worth It All

by Claudia Connor

  They stood at the same time and their bodies brushed in the move to get the screen door open. He followed her in and she set her nearly full glass in the sink.

  “Should I put it here?” His hot breath brushed her ear, and she shivered when he moved in close enough that she could feel his heat. He reached around her and set his glass next to hers.

  She knew what the man could do, the feelings he could elicit with just one kiss. She also knew that if she turned around, with his body just a breath from her own, she would feel it again, or at least she wanted to.

  Hot palms closed over her bare shoulders, sending chills down her arms as he turned her slowly. His hands continued their nerve-tingling glide until they settled firmly on her waist.

  Gone was the laid-back, friendly conversation. The muscles in his jaw twitched and her body heated under his hot stare. Just the fact that she wanted to kiss him again so badly should have had her moving away, but there was also a burning desire and an unfamiliar need she’d never felt with anyone but Jake.

  She brought her hands up to his hard chest, not to push him away, but because she had to touch him. Sliding her hands slowly up and over his shoulders, she almost whimpered at the feel of the muscled contours beneath her palms. That first kiss had just happened like an earthquake just happens. This one would be anticipated, layered with the hours they’d spent together. It would leave aftershocks rippling because she knew him better now. Knew his voice and his different smiles, hot or teasing or both. She knew his playful side with Casey and how his hand felt around hers.

  “I told myself I wasn’t going to kiss you again,” he said, dipping his head closer.

  “Why did you tell yourself that?”

  “So many reasons.” Firm but gentle fingers tightened on her hips and his lips hovered a breath from her own, sending even more chills along her skin. “Because you’re so damn beautiful. Because I want to kiss you so damn much. More than kiss you.” His hot breath brushed her ear. “I want you too much, Paige.”

  His low, sexy voice vibrated under her palms and the first touch of his lips along her throat sent a jolt through her system. He continued downward, pressing his lips to the hollow of her throat and sucking lightly. He was so good at this, at making her feel, and her eyes drifted shut as she gave herself over to it. “God, I’ve been wanting to do this since…”

  “Since when?” She was amazed she could even speak as she inhaled the faint scent of aftershave and sun and Jake. That and his hot mouth tickling and nibbling along her bare shoulder combined to make her head fuzzy.

  “Pretty much since the last second I stopped kissing you.”

  Before she could think too hard on that, he speared his fingers through her hair and took her mouth like a man who was done waiting. His tongue swept inside and a warm flush spread through her body. If the last kiss had stolen her breath, this one nearly shattered her. She slid her hands up his arms, her greedy fingers teasing under the edges of his sleeves, then clutching at him while his skilled kiss alternately coaxed and demanded.

  And all she could think was, More. More of his taste, his scent, his touch.

  The tension that had simmered between them all day exploded and when his thigh pressed between her legs with just the right pressure, it brought a rush of heat to her core. In this moment there was nothing else to think about, nothing else to want except this man with his hands and mouth making her entire body hum with pleasure.

  While his lips drove her wild, one hand slid cleverly up her rib cage, stopping just at the underside of her breasts. A whimper escaped when his thumb rasped over her nipple. He did it again and she gasped his name. She wanted him, God, how she wanted him and everything his kiss promised, but this was going too fast. Especially since she didn’t know where it was going at all.

  She broke the kiss, bringing herself back. Back to the place where she made sure she was doing the right thing, making all the right decisions. Jake lifted his head but didn’t let go.

  They were both breathing hard and it took her a second. “I shouldn’t be doing this,” she said softly, followed by a nervous laugh. “You’re kind of impossible to resist.”

  His smile was soft and slow as he smoothed her hair back from her face. “I like being kind of impossible to resist.” He grazed his hand over her hair again and gently tucked a strand behind her ear. “And I like you.”

  Looking up at him, she felt like a seed were being planted right inside her chest. A little bit painful and a lot scary, but she smiled. “I like you too.”

  Chapter 11

  The sun rose into a clear sky the next morning as JT drove an hour north up the coast, then inland to Malibu State Park. He’d woken up the same way he’d gone to sleep—thinking about Paige. After a short run with Boulder, he decided to test out a new prosthetic rock-climbing foot. He’d combine work with pleasure, get some air and clear his head.

  He needed his head cleared because he’d been an idiot for kissing Paige again, for even thinking he could get that close and resist her. She smiled and he felt taller, she laughed and he felt like a winner. She wrapped her arms around his neck and he never wanted to let her go. But even without the kiss, he figured he could have sat outside her trailer all night and been a happy man. Just talking to Paige, getting to know her, sitting close enough to hear her breathe filled something in him.

  He needed to take a giant step back and think, because the things he was feeling were racing far into unknown territory.

  It was barely eight when he was harnessed and roped in. He liked this time of day when the shadows moved across the rocks like a sundial. His climb would be moderate in difficulty, but the steep, pocketed volcanic rock would be a good first real-world test of the new foot he was developing specifically for climbing.

  His newest design was narrow, with a sole that contracted and pressed outward to save energy. The elastic cord on the back allowed the ankle joint to extend when force was applied, then snapped back into position when the foot was lifted.

  It’d been a game of trial and error to get it right, which is why he’d test it himself before he had anyone else try it.

  When he reached a height of about fifteen feet, he clipped in and stretched for the next hold. One of the main challenges in sports was the lack of sensory feedback coming from the bottom of both feet. He felt the pressure at the sight of his amputation, but he couldn’t feel the rock under his right foot like he could his left.

  Like he could feel Paige’s body under his hands. Her warm lips under his. Shit. He used his legs to push himself up to the next handhold. What was so different about Paige that he couldn’t resist her, that he felt so out of control around her and couldn’t stop thinking about her? She was soft and generous, strong and cautious. He was drawn to her in a way he didn’t even understand. But there was a connection there and he was sure she felt it.

  The climb grew more challenging, and he forced himself to focus on the rock face so he didn’t get careless. He’d been pushing himself hard for forty-five minutes, his arms and shoulders were on fire, reminding him to use his legs more.

  He paused before a particularly difficult overhang to catch his breath and drink some water. Sweat dripped from his face and neck, the bandana around his forehead long since soaked as the late-morning sun baked him like it baked the dark gray rock he clung to.

  He pushed on, estimating thirty minutes to the top, then a fast rappel down. He thought of taking Casey climbing. Not here, but maybe at Evolution. She had an adventurous little spirit, and it would give her an activity in which she’d hopefully start seeing her prosthesis as an advantage. Maybe he’d wait until he’d made her a new one. He sighed, smiled, and gave in to the fact that he couldn’t stop thinking about either of them. There were way worse things to think about.

  Tired and sore, he stopped by the store two hours later on his way home. He needed essentials: bread, milk, toilet paper, and a new cell charger. He was halfway to electronics when his phone rang.

&
nbsp; “What’s up, tiny brother?”

  It was Stephen. They’d always called him that instead of little brother just because it pissed him off. “Not much. What’s up with you?”

  “Same. At Mom’s for Sunday lunch. Hang on, Matt’s here. We’ll step outside and I’ll put you on speaker.”

  The background noise lowered by a few hundred decibels. “Hey, man,” Matt said. “Question. Did you have Mr. Nelson for biology in high school?”

  “I don’t remember. Doesn’t sound familiar,” JT said. “Why?”

  “Because Annie starts high school in a few weeks,” Stephen explained. “Matt’s running background checks on every teacher.”

  “I am not. I’m just curious,” Matt grumbled.

  “Right, well, Mitchell will be in kindergarten and I pray the school is prepared for this. Not since you ran the halls of Saint Sebastian has there been more energy waiting to explode.”

  JT laughed. He liked picturing his brother getting run down by a preschooler. Kindergarten also made him think of Casey, and he wondered what kind of school she’d be going to. “I wasn’t that bad. And how would you know, anyway? You were at the high school.”

  “Word gets around,” Stephen said.

  “Lucky for you. Kindergarten is innocent,” Matt grumbled again. “The thought of Annie walking the halls with eighteen-year-old men makes me want to hit something.”

  “That’s obvious.” Stephen was clearly amused.

  They talked a bit more, catching up on all the kids first, then his siblings. JT listened and laughed at the growing sound of chaos as more family members poured outside and chimed in on their conversation. He missed his family. The anger and helplessness after losing his leg had driven him to put space between them, but the gap that remained was his own guilt. Knowing in his heart that he wasn’t the man his brothers were, and the disappointment in his entire family’s eyes if they knew the truth.

  He found the charger he needed and picked up some batteries, then found himself on the toy aisle. Lots of action figures. Without thinking, he got to the end and turned up another aisle instead of heading to the checkout.

  “What do five-year-old girls like?” he blurted.

  “What?” his brothers asked in unison.

  “If I was going to buy a present for a five-year-old girl, what would I get?”

  “Why would you be doing that?” Matt asked.

  Because it just hit him that he hadn’t gotten Casey anything for her birthday. He’d taken her to the fair, but getting her a gift hadn’t occurred to him. “Just answer the damn question. I’m looking at dolls and…shit. They either have scary-ass eyes or they’re dressed for a nightclub.”

  “And are you trying to impress her or her mother?” Matt asked almost at the same time.

  Both maybe.

  JT picked up a package of plastic animals that said AGE 7 PLUS in bold at the top. “Just tell me what to get that won’t offend her or bore her to death.”

  Matt laughed. “We have so much stuff in this house, how the hell do I know who’s playing with what? I do know those age suggestions on the package are useless. Try telling Caroline she’s not old enough for a Barbie.”

  “I am not buying a Barbie. That’s just…no.”

  “I hear ya. What about Legos?”

  Okay, Legos were good. He rounded the corner to the next aisle and found there were a billion choices here too. Star Wars. Harry Potter. Princess. “I don’t know. That’s a lot of small pieces.”

  “She’s five? Should be old enough not to eat plastic if you keep her fed,” Stephen said.

  JT reached for a large box with a house on the front.

  “Now putting them up her nose might be another thing.”

  Shit. He put it back.

  “Who’s this for again?” Stephen asked, more than a hint of suspicion in his voice.

  “She’s…” How to say it? He and Paige weren’t dating. Weren’t sleeping together. “She wears a prosthetic leg and I offered to help her out, make some adjustments.”

  Stephen laughed. “And you’re buying a birthday present?”

  “Never mind. Forget I asked.”

  “No chance, but Mom is signaling me to ask when you’re coming home. Hannah too. She wanted to talk to you about a new playground system.”

  Stephen’s wife, Hannah, ran a horse-therapy farm for disabled children. “I’m happy to help, but I don’t know when I’m going to make it back. If she can describe for me what she has in mind, I’ll work on it from here.” He gave the same excuses that he always used: work, work, and more work. They were actually more legitimate now with the patent deal and Lynn being pregnant.

  Lizzie got on the phone next because…well, just because she was Lizzie.

  “So who’s this woman we’re talking about?”

  “No one.”

  “What? You’re going to talk to them and not me? I am your only sister. Besides, I’m much more qualified to talk about women and love than they are.”

  “It’s not like that.”

  “I took you off speaker. Talk.”

  He sighed, knowing Lizzie would hound him relentlessly, bringing even more attention and speculation. “It might be…something.”

  “Something like what?”

  “I’m not sure.” He picked up a puzzle and put it back. “She has a little girl.”

  “And that’s a problem?”

  “Not a problem, just…a lot of responsibility.” A lot of opportunities to let someone down. A lot of opportunities to fail. Though Paige and Casey drew his focus from what he could have been, to what he could be.

  “But you like her.”

  “Yes. But I don’t want to lead her on, make her think it’s something it’s not.”

  “Pretty sure of yourself, aren’t you, little brother? If you’re afraid a few nights with you leads to forlorn women dying for a long-term commitment.”

  “That’s not the point.”

  “What’s the point?”

  That he wasn’t sure he could be the man she and Casey needed. “I don’t want to lead her on.”

  “Would she be led on?”

  “No. I don’t know. She said she didn’t date.”

  Lizzie let out a loud, hooting laugh. “Wait…hang on. Sorry, I spewed my drink. So she told you she didn’t want you, and you’re still worried?”

  “I don’t know. She didn’t exactly say she didn’t want me. Shit. You’re making me sound like an ass.”

  “Aww. You’re not an ass. You’re just a confused man. That’s why God gave you a sister. Okay, look. Even single moms have to eat. She’d probably appreciate dinner and conversation with my super-cute little brother. And if you both agree it’s not going anywhere, then I don’t see the problem.”

  “You sure?”

  “Would I lie to you?”

  “You once told me you had the power to turn me into a dog.”

  “And still hilarious that you believed me.” Lizzie laughed again and he smiled. You couldn’t hear Lizzie laugh and not smile, even if she was laughing at you.

  He finished his call, then took one last look down the toy aisle.

  And then it hit him. He knew exactly what to get Casey for her birthday.

  The diner continued to be busy all day, beginning with breakfast, then brunch and the church crowd in addition to the regulars. Jenny had brought Casey in an hour ago to begin her shift and now Paige was finishing up.

  “You have plans tonight?” Paige asked her cousin as she gathered her bag.

  “Maybe. Not sure yet, but don’t wait up.” Jenny kissed Casey on the cheek and smiled, but she was missing her usual sparkle when she had a man on the horizon. “What about you?”

  “Me and my girl have big plans, don’t we, Case?”

  “Yep. We’re going to the launder mat.”

  “Ooh, laundry.” Jenny grinned. “Always a good time.”

  Casey agreed. Luckily she did think it was great fun to put the quarters in and watch the
machine fill with soapy water. They often made up silly rhymes and songs. It was special time and she wouldn’t trade it for anything.

  The late-afternoon sun was hidden behind a haze of clouds when they left the diner. If it wasn’t too late, maybe they’d go to the park.

  She and Casey hit the grocery store, then the Laundromat. The haze turned to rain, so they made an impromptu run to the dollar store. By seven o’clock her feet were dragging.

  Casey sat, writing numbers at the table, and Paige helped her count by fives while she put on a pot of water for pasta.

  “Five, ten…and then what?”

  “Fifteen,” Paige filled in. Counting by fives was a kindergarten skill. She wanted Casey to feel prepared in case that played a part in her reluctance. Reluctance was putting it mildly. She added some salt and turned the burner up to high while the fifty-cent face mask Casey had lovingly applied dried on her face.

  “Twenty, twenty-five,” Casey continued.

  Two solid knocks at the door made her jump.

  “I’ll get it.” Casey started to get down from her seat, prepared to cartwheel to the door all by herself.

  Paige held up a hand, intercepting her. “No way, missy. You know better than that. You never, ever answer the door without me.” Paige passed Casey and peeked between the blinds, hoping whoever it was couldn’t see her.

  “Mommy, who is it? Do we know them?”

  She snatched her hand back on a sharp inhale. Jake.

  Chapter 12

  “Mommy, who is it?”

  The butterflies let loose in Paige’s stomach, and without answering her daughter, she fought with the crooked lock to open the door. She figured she stood there a full three seconds just staring at him through the screen. He waited patiently, his tall, dark, and delicious self, wearing jeans and a black polo-style shirt.

  She hadn’t seen him in, oh…less than twenty-four hours. It seemed like longer.