by Lindy Zart
It was almost unimaginable to think of leaving Blair. They’d only just reconnected and a year didn’t seem like enough time to get to know each other. It wasn’t. She was all she had of her father and his side of the family. Blair was the only living relative Lola had other than her mother.
Lola thought of starting at the community college in Lansing to get her generals done and then continuing on from there. Her aunt had told her she could live with her while she went to college. Nothing Lola had to decide today.
Today was the day she told Jack how she felt about him.
15
Lola’s footsteps slowed the closer she got to the house. What if Jack wasn’t there? What if his father was? Lola knew Jack’s father wouldn’t do anything to her, not physically anyway, but just knowing what he’d done to his son was enough to make her loathe and fear him at the same time. He was a man like Bob Holden and ‘man’ was too good a word for him.
The air was stifling and Lola wiped her moist brow. The neglected white farmhouse loomed before her; the yard with all its many trees reminded her of the spot they met at. It was still and silent, the sounds of nature all Lola heard.
She took a deep breath, rounded up her nerve, and knocked on the door. Lola heard footsteps. The door opened and there stood Isabelle in a purple and white striped shirt and white capris.
“Hi.” Lola smiled. “How are you, Isabelle?”
Isabelle held the door so Lola couldn’t see past her, looking so much like Jack with her churlish expression Lola sucked in a sharp breath. Now she could see the resemblance.
“Jack’s not here.” Something in her face gave Lola pause. Her eyes darted back and forth as she gnawed on her lower lip. She was scared.
“What’s going on, Isabelle?” Lola asked in a low voice.
“Nothing,” she answered quickly. “You should leave.” Isabelle tried to shut the door and Lola put a hand out, stopping her.
“Jack’s here, isn’t he? Is he hurt?” Isabelle’s face crumpled, tears streaming down her face. “Isabelle! Where is he? What happened?”
“Go away!” she wailed, pushing harder.
Fear and adrenaline gave Lola strength and she shoved the door open so wide it banged against a chair. “I’m not leaving until I see Jack.”
“He’ll be back any minute. You can’t be here, Lola! Please.” Isabelle clutched at her arm as Lola stormed into the house. Her resistance turned into clinging; Lola holding her up.
“Jack wouldn’t want you here. He wouldn’t want you to see him,” she whispered, eyes luminous with sorrowful tears.
Lola’s breathing picked up, heart racing. Her eyes finally took in the empty vodka bottles on the counter, the shattered dishes on the kitchen floor, the smear of blood on the doorframe.
Her throat tightened. Oh, God, please let him be okay.
“You have to go.” Jack’s sister clung to Lola, sobbing uncontrollably. “You have to go.”
“I’m not leaving,” she hissed, staring Isabelle down, “so I suggest you tell me where he is. Now. Before your dad gets back.”
Isabelle nodded, eyes wide, and pointed a shaking finger to the living room. “Upstairs. Second room. Please. Help him.”
I will, Lola silently vowed, sprinting for the stairs.
She didn’t think about consequences, she didn’t think about what could happen if and when their dad showed up. Lola only thought of Jack. She had to get to him, she had to help him.
The second bedroom was dark and the metallic smell hit her as soon as she opened the door. Lola had never been as afraid in her life as she was walking to that bed.
Moments that altered you; defined you as who you were; that was one of them, seeing Jack like that. It was like Lola’s heart stopped, her brain raced but formed no logical thought, and it was surreal. Lola’s world changed in that instant. She was aware of all she could lose.
Jack wasn’t moving, his chest barely lifting with each shallow breath he took. Even in the dim light Lola could see his face was a myriad of bruises and swelling. She looked around the room, searching for a light switch. When she turned it on she almost wished she hadn’t.
Lola pressed a hand to her stomach, thinking she might vomit. His beautiful face. It was unrecognizable with cuts and blood. Lola wanted to touch him, but was scared she would hurt him even more.
“Jack?” she whispered, voice cracking.
His eyelids fluttered, but didn’t open. With a sinking sensation, Lola realized he couldn’t. Jack’s eyes were swollen shut.
“Shouldn’t…be…here,” he struggled to get out.
Lola broke down and cried, instantly and hysterically. Again and again her hand went to touch him and she pulled it back. She sank onto her knees beside the bed. Even his hands were cut and bleeding, but she didn’t know how much of that blood was from other wounds.
A noise alerted her they weren’t alone and she jerked her head to the side, posed protectively over Jack.
Isabelle hovered near the door, shaking and pale. She tried to speak and finally choked out, “He’s never been this hard on him before.”
“What happened?” Lola demanded, unable to take her eyes from Jack’s wrecked face. He wore a shirt and shorts; his legs were unaffected, but she didn’t know about his upper body. He needed a doctor.
“Jack told him about moving out. I thought…I thought he was going to kill him,” Isabelle said, breaking down. She sank to the floor and covered her face with her hands, weeping.
Determination overtook Lola and she got to her feet. She allowed it to wipe out the pain and fear, needing to be strong and focused. “Where’s a phone?”
Isabelle didn’t answer, too lost in her own pain to hear Lola.
Lola knelt beside her and pushed her hands away from her face. “Look at me, Isabelle.” She shook her head, trying to get away. Lola grabbed her shoulders and shook her. “Look at me.” Isabelle did then and something in Lola’s expression quieted her.
“I need a phone. Jack needs a doctor.”
“No!” Isabelle shook her head. “He doesn’t want a doctor.”
Lola set her jaw and spoke slowly, “Your brother could have internal bleeding, wounds we don’t even know about, broken bones. He. Needs. A. Doctor.”
“Jar…ed,” was whispered raggedly from across the room.
Lola looked at Isabelle. “You know where Jared is?” She nodded. “Go get him. Now. Now.”
Isabelle shot to her feet and ran, her feet thundering against the floor in her haste.
Lola went to Jack, carefully brushing his hair back. Emotions welled up inside her, threatening to burst. She couldn’t stop crying; they silently trailed down her cheeks, dampening the bed.
A sob left her and Lola placed her hands over her face. She couldn’t lose him, she didn’t want to think about it, but the dread was there, trying to take over Lola. What if she lost him?
The barest of touches against her hand had her lowering them. She stared down at Jack, loving him and hurting for him. She gently took his outstretched hand into hers and kissed the broken skin.
She hoped his father rotted in hell.
“Love…you.”
Lola went still, shivers starting at her scalp and ending at her toes. She closed her eyes. “I love you,” she whispered back.
***
“How is he doing?”
Lola started, sloshing hot coffee on her hand. She ran to the sink and turned on the cold water, holding her pink flesh under it.
“Sorry,” Blair said, making a face.
She rubbed her face and leaned her hips against the counter, staring out the kitchen window at the gray cast sky. Lola was so tired.
“Okay, considering. He looks worse now than he did four days ago. Nothing broken, as far as we know.” Lola set her coffee mug down and looked at her aunt, her self-control on the verge of shattering.
Blair pressed her lips together and reached for Lola. “Oh, honey, I’m so sorry.”
There it went.
Lola sobbed, hanging onto her aunt just to stay upright. Blair hugged her tight, pressing a kiss to her temple.
She moved away from her aunt’s comforting arms, wiping her eyes. “This is so messed up. Really.”
“He needs to press charges. And he should have gone to the doctor,” Blair said for about the fiftieth time.
“He refuses to press charges. He’s scared if he does anything more to anger his dad he’ll lose his sister. And Dr. Jones looked him over at the apartment. It was the most Jack would agree to.”
“Sebastian’s mom will report it. It’s her job to.”
“She would, if any of us had told her the truth. He’s eighteen, an adult. Jack said he fell and hit his face against a door. She didn’t believe it, of course, but no matter how times she tried to get him to tell her what really happened, that’s all he would say. He’s stubborn like that.”
Her aunt sighed. “I’m sure Dr. Jones loved that. As far as Isabelle is concerned, technically, he isn’t her guardian. His father can say she has to stay with him. Jack could fight it and probably win, but it wouldn’t be a fun process for any of them.”
“I know. We’ve talked about it. A lot. At least they’re out of that house now.” She walked to the window, watching the rain blanket the earth in water.
“He’s missed too much school to graduate. He’ll have to take summer classes to get his diploma. Or get a G.E.D. later.”
Blair poured herself a cup of coffee and blew on it. “How is this Jared guy treating him?”
A half-hearted smiled curved her lips. “He’s wonderful, Blair. You should have seen the way he took care of Jack. He’s bullish and set in his ways, but so sweet too. Jared’s perfect for Jack.
“He’s more of a father to Jack than his real father. He’s rough around the edges, but a nice guy. I’m glad Jack has someone like him in his life.”
“Me too. What are the plans for tonight? Think Jack and Isabelle would like to come over for dinner?”
Lola pursed her lips, not sure how to politely decline.
“I’ll order pizza,” Blair stated, laughing.
Lola smiled. “Sure. I’ll call Jack after school. Speaking of which, I need to go.”
“Take the car. I have stuff to do around here, so I won’t need it.”
“Thanks. See you later.” She spontaneously kissed her aunt on the cheek, smiling when Blair laughed.
***
Sebastian and Rachel flagged Lola down in the hallway at lunchtime. She’d planned on checking up on Jack during her half hour break. Lola shook the car keys in her hand, waiting impatiently for them to catch up.
It smelled like gym socks and sweat in the almost empty corridor, posters on the walls boasting school spirit for the Morgan Creek Wolves in silver and black lettering.
Sebastian and Rachel were a striking couple; attractive, well-dressed. They’d even color coordinated with black shirts and dark jeans. Probably that hadn’t been on purpose.
“Hey, guys. What’s up?” Lola eyed the glass doors that led to Jack.
Sebastian slung an arm around Lola’s shoulders and pulled her to him, his deodorant and cologne enveloping her. She preferred Jack’s. “Where are you going to in such a hurry?”
“I need to check on Jack,” Lola said, shifting her feet. She was posed for flight, itching to be on her way.
“How’s he doing?” Sebastian asked.
“He’s healing.” Physically. Mentally Jack would forever carry the scars of his father’s abuse.
Rachel made a sympathetic sound. “I can’t believe he fell and hit his face. Poor guy.”
“Yeah,” was all Lola would say, aware Sebastian’s knowing eyes were on her. She was sure his mother had filled him in on her suspicions.
“We should hang out tonight; get a pizza and a movie or something. Get our minds off things. Have some fun. What do you say, Lola?” Rachel nudged her boyfriend. “Sebastian?”
“I can’t. I gotta help my dad out at the shop, remember?”
“Oh. That’s right. Another time?”
Lola appreciated the effort, she did, but all she really cared about at that moment was seeing Jack. “Yeah. Sure,” she blurted. “We’ll talk later.”
“You still owe me a sleepover!” Rachel called after her.
Lola smiled and waved, jogging toward the door.
***
Jared Summers’ was a wealthy man. If not in money, then with land. He owned hundreds of sprawling acres of wooded and farmed land. His house was old and brown, three stories, and sparsely furnished. It had a distinct smell to it, a scent Lola was sure most farmhouses acquired through the years, especially ones owned by bachelors. Like hay, or freshly mowed grass.
Early forties, tall and lean, he had light brown hair, tanned skin with lines that fanned out at the corners of his turquoise blue eyes and lips that rarely smiled. Jared was handsome in a hard, unrefined way; like Jack.
He was a quiet man who grunted more than he spoke. Jared was also a decent, fair man. Lola had nothing but respect and gratitude for him. She also had big plans for him; he just didn’t know it.
If not for him, Jack would be an entirely different person. If not for Jared, Jack might have turned into a clone of his father. Jared had quietly intervened during an impressionable age for Jack, offered him work and a place to go to escape his life at home, and changed his life without even knowing it.
Jared was a kind man, though he had a brusque manner and would never admit such a thing. It was in the things he did, not what he said, his true character showed through. Lola had loved him the moment she’d met him and seen his tender handling of Jack. Her aunt would love him too, once Lola finally talked Jared into agreeing to leave his farm long enough to have a meal at her aunt’s house.
A brown garage matched the house in color and stood slightly away from the house, equally old and lacking in furniture and decorative pieces. But there was one thing it contained that was priceless to Lola.
Her breathing picked up as she parked the Cavalier. Lola slammed the door and ran toward the garage, rain drizzling on her, making her hair and clothes damp. She tugged the hood of her burnt orange sweatshirt over her head as she knocked on the door to the left of the garage doors.
The acrid smell of cow manure offended her nostrils and Lola scrunched her nose up.
When a second knock didn’t get a response, Lola pushed the door open.
“Hello? Jack?” she called, walking up the narrow staircase to the living quarters.
Maybe he was napping. It was a good day for it. Lola fought a yawn and scanned the room for inhabitants.
All of the rooms, and there weren’t many, had tan walls and brown carpet. Except for the kitchen and bathroom; the latter was pink and white tiled.
A small living room was to the left; a shabby red couch and a brown recliner its only furniture. There was a TV stand and TV. Windows overlooked the barn and silo and other farm equipment Lola couldn’t put a name to.
The kitchen had brown linoleum, an avocado stove, off-white refrigerator, and a wobbly table with two chairs. The scent of coffee lingered in the apartment.
Two small bedrooms; Jack’s even smaller than his sister’s, proved to be empty as well. Lola sat on his bed, fingering the frayed green blanket. Where was he?
She didn’t think he would be helping Jared already; he was too sore and not healed enough. But he was a stubborn man so anything was possible. But Jared’s more stubborn.
Even as she thought it, Lola jumped to her feet; intuition telling her something wasn’t right. She raced down the stairs, tripping over her feet and falling the last few steps. Lola twisted her wrist in the process, wincing and holding it to her chest as she ran.
“Jared!” she screamed, rain plastering her hair to her face, seeping through her clothes and shoes. “Jared!” It blurred Lola’s surroundings, making her disoriented for an instant.
Logic kicked in. Of course he couldn’t hear her over the reverbera
tion of barn machinery.
Lola slipped in the grass, caught herself with her elbow; jarring the already injured arm, and scrambled back to her feet, gravel crunching under her shoes. She banged open the barn door, the smell and sight of cows repelling her. It was dim in the building and it took Lola a moment to catch her bearings.
She wanted to shout his name, but knew enough not to upset the animals. Lola stared at the cement walking slab in the middle of the cows, knowing that was the way to Jared. She took a deep breath, gathered strength, and went in search of Jared.
Lola found him at the far end of the barn, knelt beside a monstrous being. She didn’t want to scare him, to make any sudden movements to spook the cow.
“Jared,” she whispered in a hoarse voice. Her throat burned from yelling earlier.
Jared jumped, knocking his head against a metal bar and cursing. He turned said injured head to glare at her. “What?” he asked in a clipped tone.
Lola opened her mouth, but no words came out.
Something in her face must have alerted him all was not right. Jared’s features twisted from annoyance to concern. “Jack?”
“I came…to check on him. He’s…he’s not here.” Her teeth chattered together; she shivered from the cold.
Jared got to his feet. “What do you mean he’s not here? Where is he?”
“I don’t…I don’t know.”
He slammed his hands on his hips and swore. “I think I know where he is.” He stormed through the barn and Lola followed.
“Where?” she called after him, squinting in the rain to make out his receding figure in the rain.
Jared hopped into a huge black Dodge truck and looked down at her. “You stay here.”
Lola grabbed the door when he moved to shut it. “No,” she told him, determination clenching her jaw.
“I’m not arguing with you, Lola.”
“So don’t.”
For one tense moment their eyes collided. Jared looked away first. “Get in. You’re letting rain water into the truck.”
She ran around the truck, grabbing it as she slipped in the grass, and quickly hauled herself into the vehicle before he could take off without her.
