Journey Home

by Journey Home [Evernight, RotG] (mobi)

  It sounded like a line, but she wanted to believe him, even though she kept thinking about his former partners, one of whom he’d made come five times. She knew he’d only been warning her that he might wear her out, but she wished he hadn’t said it. She’d only had sex with a few men, and none of them had shown much interest in her pleasure.

  “Really?”

  He rolled off of her and stood, stretching before he lifted her into his arms. “I mean it. I’ve never had a partner open to me as you do. I could get used to it.”

  Her heart thudded in her chest. “You could?”

  “Yes.” He put her down in the shower compartment and closed the door. After turning the water on, he pressed her against the wall and kissed her.

  Between kisses, she said, “I could, too.” She ran her hands up and down his back as he deepened the kiss.

  When they parted again, the look in his eyes made her shiver. “Do you mean that?”

  She giggled. “What girl wouldn’t want a sexy man making her come every time she turned around?” She stopped laughing as his face remained serious. Her knees shook a little under his scrutiny.

  He whispered, “Be mine.”

  “What?” She couldn’t have heard him right.

  “I want you to stay. I’ve never felt this kind of connection to anyone before.”

  It was a dream come true, but she had to use her head here. She pulled away as he moved in to kiss her again. “You don’t have to say these things, Caen. I’m enjoying what we have. It’s all I need.”

  He drew back, water running down his face. “You don’t want me?” Running his hands over his face, he groaned. “Of course you don’t. You want to go home.”

  “Caen, wait, please.” She took his wrists and pulled his hands from his face. “I only meant you don’t have to promise me anything for us to enjoy this.”

  “I’m sorry, Rebecca. You’re so sweet and loving, and I jumped to the wrong conclusion.”

  “No, you didn’t! Please listen to me.”

  He stared at her for a moment, and then he began to caress her body as the water washed his cum away. “I’m listening.”

  “I wish I could just say yes and live happily ever after with you, but I’m not that naïve.”

  His hand stilled on her thigh. “And I am?”

  “No!” She hesitated, fearing she would put her foot in her mouth again. “You understand rejection. Do you want to know what I understand? Men getting tired of me after they’ve fucked me enough times. I hardly know you, and you hardly know me. What if we have nothing in common? What if some habit of mine annoys you, or your way of life is too hard to adjust to? We’re from different worlds, literally.”

  He stepped back from her and looked down. “I’d hoped you weren’t going to say that last one.” He sighed. “So instead of trusting what we feel, we should quiz one another for the next month to see how compatible we are?”

  “Not exactly, but you should know more about me before you start making offers of any kind. That would be best for both of us.”

  He stepped back again, now standing completely out of the water’s spray. “You’ve obviously been shown more love than I ever have. I suppose that’s why it seems so foolish and naïve that I should cling to it so fiercely.”

  Before she could respond, he’d turned and exited the shower. He took a towel and left the room without another word. She turned to the spray of water and finished washing his semen off her body. She wanted to be angry with him for overacting, but she couldn’t fight the tears that rolled down her cheeks as she aimed that anger at every man who had ever made her doubt that the kind of offer Caen had made could be genuine.

  ****

  Caen sat gazing at the wall. He’d run out of words to curse himself with. He hadn’t scared her off. No, he’d done something much worse. He’d gotten her to admit that a month of pleasure was all she’d been looking for. She’d been distressed at his reaction, but she’d only tried to calm him down. She had done nothing to actually prove him wrong. Even though she had said that what she “understood”, as she’d put it, was men growing tired of her, he couldn’t push his hurt away. He’d been trying to tell her that he wouldn’t grow tired of her, so why had she thrown such a thing in his face? He didn’t like being lumped in with all of the men she regretted giving herself to. How could she doubt their connection after their second coupling? The look in her eyes as she came had stolen his breath and his heart, and now the memory threatened his sanity. He’d thrown everything off balance by asking for too much too soon.

  Maybe he had become attached too quickly, and perhaps his desire to be loved made him overeager, but that did not mean he was stupid or naïve. He could still hear her saying those words. I’m not that naïve. She could deny it a hundred times, but she had been implying that he was when she said that.

  He turned his head when he heard her footsteps, but she didn’t come into the cockpit. She walked past the door and went to her own room. He forced himself to stay seated because he had nothing to say to her. The things he wanted to say would only make her continue to push him away. He didn’t want to be told repeatedly that his ideals were foolish or silly.

  Yet the ache in his chest only grew worse. How could she not feel the same way? True, it had only been a couple of days, but the way she’d opened herself and given her love…. He shook his head to dispel the thoughts. She’d been giving him her body, giving him pleasure and taking it in return, nothing more. His chance at happiness had probably slipped through his fingers, and if that were the case, he didn’t know if he could live with it. All he could do was wait for her to make the next move.

  ****

  Caen awoke when he felt a hand caress his shoulder. He shifted in his chair and turned his gaze up to Rebecca. “I fell asleep.” He rubbed his eyes. “Never had a problem with this before.”

  “It’s my fault. You were probably hoping to avoid me.”

  He forced his eyes to focus on her. She looked apologetic, and a tiny spark of hope nestled in his heart. “Not avoid you, Rebecca. Give you space. You made it clear the day we met that you do not belong to me.” He ran a hand over his face and sighed heavily. “Two days ago. We met two days, yet I was stunned you didn’t want to make a decision that would alter your life completely.”

  She touched his shoulder again. “I’m glad you understand that now. I didn’t like seeing how much my reaction hurt you.”

  “I overreacted, and I’m sorry.” He stood and looked down into her big blue eyes. “I do want to get to know you more.” Drawing her closer, he said, “And I want you in my bed all the time, if that’s still your desire. Tell me what you want.”

  She didn’t resist as he wrapped his arms around her. “I do want to be in your bed again. Any man who can admit he’s sorry so easily deserves immediate forgiveness.”

  He slid his hands farther around her waist and linked his hands at the small of her back. “A highly prized virtue, is it?”

  “Where I come from, it’s quite rare. Men waste lots of money avoiding those two words.”

  “It’s hard to admit to being wrong, especially when you care what the other person thinks of you.”

  She rested her hands above his elbows, the light touch of her fingers soothing him in an unexpected way. “I truly didn’t mean to devalue your feelings, Caen.”

  Her eyes pleaded with him, and he leaned down to brush a kiss over her forehead. “Then give me this month to prove how genuine they are. When we reach Earth, I will honor your wishes.” Though if you choose to stay on Earth, I can’t promise I won’t choose to stay as well.

  “All right then.” She ran her hands up his arms and pressed her body close. “We are good together. You’re an amazing lover.”

  “Loving you is a very enjoyable way to pass the time.” He slid his hands over her ass so she could feel his cock growing hard. “You’re beautiful when you come.”

  Her face went from pink to red very quickly.

  �
�And compliments embarrass you. It’s rather endearing. I like making you blush like that.”

  She gave him a doubt-filled look.

  “It’s the truth.” He gently guided her to his chair and pushed her down before getting on his knees. He spread her legs and ran his hands up her skirt. “Now spread those thighs and let me endear myself to you as a further apology.”

  She giggled and obeyed, her moans filling the cockpit as he began to lick her. He lost himself in her taste and the sweet sounds she made, and he promised himself that soon he would be able to command her heart as well as her body.

  Chapter Four

  Staring out at the stars, Rebecca felt small and unimportant. When Caen wrapped his arms around her waist and pressed his chin to the top of her head, however, those feelings evaporated.

  “I love looking at the stars,” he said. “Aroria is overcast all the time. Very little light from our sun gets through most days. I would stay up all night when it was clear, just to look at the stars. I thought they were so beautiful.”

  “How long have you been away from your world?”

  “Ten years. Ever since I found out about my condition.”

  She rubbed his arms, enjoying the feel of his skin under her fingers. “Do you miss it?”

  “I miss my family at times. But I’ve made lots of friends out here.”

  “I don’t have many friends back home. They might not even have noticed I’m gone. None of them work with me, so even if my boss was looking for me, they still might not know.”

  “I’m sorry.” He kissed the top of her head. “Is that even the right thing to say?” he squeezed her tighter.

  “There’s nothing to say.” She turned in his arms. “But it’s nice you wanted to comfort me.”

  He gave her a gentle kiss. “You’re beautiful, kind, funny, and sweet. I don’t understand your solitary existence on your world. I’m drawn to you, to your laugh, your smile.” His fingers played across her hips. “Among other things.”

  “It was partly my fault. My parents died when I was young, and I shut people out a lot of the time. I was afraid of being hurt again.”

  He stroked her cheek and then began playing with her hair. “I’m glad you told me that.”

  His words surprised her. “You are?”

  He nodded. “It helps me understand you. Your caution, even the way you think about yourself—what happened to you explains it.” He kissed her again. “It’s what you wanted, for us to understand each other more.”

  She nodded, too. “Yes. Just like knowing about your condition.”

  “It’s nice to talk and not feel ashamed.” He pulled her against his chest and buried his face against her hair. “I feel so at home with you.”

  She clung to him, but she didn’t say anything. Yes, they both had issues to deal with, but she wasn’t as ready to confess her feelings as he was. She still didn’t know what she would do when they reached Earth. Tightening her arms even more, she pushed the decision away. They still had two weeks before he would ask her the question she was still afraid to answer.

  ****

  Rebecca loved all the attention Caen continued giving her, but she wondered how long he could truly keep it up. He woke her with kisses and caresses every morning, insisted upon helping her wash her hair at night, and constantly tried to buy her things when they had to pass through checkpoints. They would pass through one more checkpoint before reaching Earth, and she wondered if Caen would try to stall them there. He’d been anxious for a couple of days, watching her constantly and never letting her do anything for herself.

  Her back ached worse than it had the day before. She didn’t want Caen to notice because he’d probably insist she see a doctor. She felt hot as well, so she went into the bathroom for the med kit she’d seen in a drawer. Though she didn’t understand what some of the items were, she soon found a round disk with a small screen. She knew that could take her temperature and detect infections. Caen had used it when she arrived. After placing it on her arm, she pushed the blue button. The device flashed at her, and then the screen began a countdown from ten.

  When it beeped at her, she lifted it off her arm to see the results. Her temperature was 101, which she assumed meant she had some kind of infection. She tried to decipher all of the other icons. But soon they didn’t matter because the words at the bottom of the screen had arrested her attention.

  Fetus: healthy.

  Fetus? Fetus! She clutched at her stomach. That was impossible. Caen had told her he was sterile. She tried desperately to remember when her period was due, and her breathing quickened when she realized it had been over a month.

  He’d lied to her. He had lied to her.

  “Rebecca?”

  She froze with the device clutched in her hand. “I should have known not to trust you.” She whirled around and stalked toward him. “Get this fucking armband off of me. I am not yours, and I will never be yours!”

  He looked petrified as he stared down at her. Did he know he’d been caught?

  “Take it off!” she yelled, thrusting her arm at him.

  “Rebecca, what’s wrong?”

  She held up the medical device. “You are a liar! That is what is wrong.”

  He took the device from her and examined it. “You have a fever, and your blood count is down. You’re—” He stared at the device. “Pregnant?”

  “I’m pregnant, and my back hurts, and I want to kill you!”

  He stared at her with a stunned look plastered on his face. He actually looked hurt. What was wrong with him?

  “Rebecca … you said it had been a long time.”

  “What?”

  “Since you had a partner. You said it had been a long time.”

  “Caen, this baby is yours!”

  His eyes widened. “What? Wait, slow down. You’re angry because you think it’s mine?”

  She wanted to kill him even more. “Yes! Are you listening at all?”

  “Yes, I am.”

  “Why the fuck did you think I was angry?”

  “I checked your temperature when I rescued you. I thought you were angry because you thought I knew about it, that you were angry about me having sex with you while you were pregnant. I swear I didn’t see this then. Perhaps it was too soon.”

  She grabbed him by the shoulders. “It was too soon because I was not pregnant then!”

  Now his face hardened. “Rebecca, I did not lie to you. That baby cannot be mine, and I think it’s a bit cruel for you to try to deceive me. I care about you deeply, and I couldn’t care less about past partners.”

  “I have had sex with no one but you these past three years. It has to be yours.”

  “You can see a doctor at the checkpoint. They can check the DNA.”

  “So now you’re calling me a liar? You think I’m just some slut who can’t keep track of the men in her bed?”

  His expression broke then, the anger crumbling away. “Rebecca, I’d love for this child to be mine because I’m in love with you, but I know it’s impossible.” He reached out to hold her. “I’d love to give you a child, our child.”

  “Don’t say that!” She tried to turn away, but he wouldn’t let her.

  He drew her to his chest and held her hands behind her back, pressing her against him so that she couldn’t look away. “Calm down. You’ll hurt yourself or the baby. You already have a fever.”

  “You lied so you could get me pregnant and make me stay.”

  “So I’m not only naïve for believing my feelings for you are real, I’m also superficial, huh? I lied to you from the day we met because I decided I wanted you just based on your beauty? It’s not the worst insult, but I’d still call it an insult. I guess I was foolish though to believe you wouldn’t judge me, lump me in with the rest of my race and all the other men in your life.”

  “Caen, let me go. This child is yours. Don’t claim you love me if you can’t believe me.”

  “You don’t believe me,” he said, his lips an
inch from hers.

  “I’ve never claimed to love you.”

  He smiled slightly and leaned forward, an odd look on his face. Against her ear, he said, “You talk in your sleep.”

  She began to struggle again. “Let me go.”

  “Rebecca, stop! Please, we’ll be at the checkpoint tonight. We’ll see a doctor, and he will tell us.” He waited for her to still before he added, “And if this child is mine, I will be incredibly happy, and then I will do all in my power to make you feel the same way.”

  “Let me go.” She said the words very softly, pleading with him because she felt on the verge of tears. She did love him, which was why she’d been so hurt by his deception. She couldn’t live with a man who deceived her.

  He released her, caressing her cheek before stepping away.

  “I’ll leave you alone.”

  “Thank you.” She turned her back to him.

  He lingered for about fifteen seconds before leaving.

  She went to the bed and collapsed there, rubbing her stomach and wondering what she was going to do.

  ****

  Caen paced in the waiting area. Rebecca hadn’t spoken to him since their argument, but she also hadn’t asked him to remove the armband again. He wanted to see that as a good sign, but it was probably only common sense telling her the doctor would expect to see it if an Arorian accompanied her for a pregnancy test. He sighed for the tenth time. He’d been waiting for three hours. How many tests could they be running?

  He jumped when someone tapped him on the shoulder.

  “The doctor would like to see you,” said the nurse standing behind him.

  “Thank you.” He went through the door she indicated and sat in front of a large desk with nothing on it but stacks of papers. Half a minute later, a very tall man entered. He seemed to be from Earth, which made sense given how close they were. Only one day’s journey. He didn’t like to think about how soon Rebecca would be trying to leave him. He’d been trying to come up with a plan to convince her to stay, but thus far he still felt completely lost.

  The doctor smiled. “You know, you ought to have your med kits checked more frequently.”