Healing my Heart: Book 2 - My Heart Series

by Michelle, Aleya

  I rest my hand that has finally stopped shaking, on his hand and give it a gentle squeeze. “It’s okay Dylan, if you would just relax and enjoy life a bit more, you would be less stressed and you are nearly out of chances. Next time I won’t be so forgiving, do you hear me?” I tell him with honesty and a slight warning.

  He acceptingly nods and leans in to kiss my lips softly - his lips feel soft and sweet. Right that second I think of salty kisses, the rough and salty taste I would gladly swap for in a heartbeat. Dylan slowly pulls back and gazes deep into my eyes with his own crystal blue set.

  “Did you hear what I said before Roxy? I mean it, I am crazy in love with you,” he tells me and kisses my lips again with passion and need.

  “Thanks Dylan that means a lot much to me. I care so much about you, I’m just not ready for those words yet, but soon okay,” I state to him and lean in to kiss his lips. Really hoping another war doesn’t start from my confession. In the words of Phil Collins, “You can’t hurry love.”

  “As long as we’re together Roxy, that’s all that matters to me. I’d die before I’d live without you in my life,” he declares and his words hit home. He would rather die than live without me? Oh boy…

  Dylan stands slowly and gathers me into his muscular arms. “Put me down Dylan, what are you doing?” I ask him anxiously unsure of his now behaviour.

  He carries me gently into my bedroom, kissing my cheek and placing me on my queen sized bed. He climbs on too and starts to lovingly kiss my lips, then plants soft kisses on my neck.

  “Oh Dylan, let’s just get some sleep baby. I’m exhausted,” I tell him and I can’t believe I would ever turn down sex.

  He starts to pull down my pyjama pants, exposing my bare flesh. “You will love what I have planned for you Roxy, so just relax and enjoy baby,” he proclaims to me, as I lay half naked before him.

  Before I can argue his mouth is on my core and his tongue is working its magic.

  “Ahh,” I moan at the hot sensation it sends up my centre.

  Dylan swirls his tongue around inside me over and over, it feels so good. He bites at my folds and sucks, alternating his teeth and his tongue. He grabs my legs and I wrap them around his shoulders as he thrusts his tongue in deeper and adds his thumb to my clit, massaging it to increase my arousal.

  “Yes, Yes!” I scream feeling so turned on and knowing my release is getting closer. I move my hips to meet his intense tongue swirls and his thumb starts flicking my clit harder.

  “Faster Dylan, I’m so close!” I scream to him. He does exactly that with so much speed and friction that I fall apart and my orgasm hits with force over and over.

  “YES! YES! YES!” I scream in ecstasy. I shiver and shake as I ride the wave of my release, griping the sheets and enjoying the moment. Shit I really needed that…

  As I lay reeling from my explosion I vaguely notice Dylan stand and discard his jeans and underwear, then he’s on me in a flash. He lifts my top and rubs my breasts, tweaking my nipples as he adds his mouth to suck and bite. I feel his arousal push into my thigh, so hard and firm.

  “I want you right now Roxy. I need to be inside you. You are mine, I love you so much,” Dylan tells me. His words stab at my heart, just as his cock enters me. He pushes in hard and deep, before he withdraws and repeats over and over.

  I am numb from his words, his actions, and his lies that are slowly unravelling.

  “Come with me Roxy,” he tells me and I realise I’m not even close or in the right frame of mind so I fake it.

  “Yes. Yes, I’m coming!” I scream. It feels fucking good to scream, to let all my emotions out.

  Dylan thrusts harder and faster over and over

  “Oh yes Roxy! Arrrggghhhh!” he screams as he comes with one last hard thrust and I feel his warm liquid inside me, it actually makes me shudder… I feel trapped in a love less relationship.

  How could I feel so deliriously happy in the past and now feel life less and stripped bare resembling a naked rotting corpse… Dead and limp, with no life left in it.

  Well fuck. Life isn’t all about the rainbows and unicorns now is it?

  Chapter 9

  Shake Your Booty

  “I am having a night out with you and the girls whether Dylan likes it or not Jemma,” I practically shout out to her from my room. I’m putting my foot down, when was the last time I went out?

  “That’s my girl Rox. I thought I’d lost that independent stubborn as an ox bestie I have known my whole life,” Jemma calls back playfully.

  “I still can’t believe you haven’t mentioned the info you found out about his ex, Roxy. What are you waiting for?” Jem asks me sounding puzzled.

  “It’s not something I can just come out with and ask him now is it? ‘So I stalked you on Google, is it true?’ He is going to be pissed,” I answer her back feeling apprehensive.

  “Speaking of pissed, are you calling him to tell him about tonight or send him a text?” she asks me laughing and honestly I don’t know which way to go about it.

  “Hmmm, I have no fucking clue,” I call back as I walk into the lounge room laughing even though it is anything but funny.

  We hear a knock at the door, oh shit.

  “Well looks like there is your answer,” Jemma whispers smirking at me and does a little dance before hurrying off to her room. I take a deep breath and open the door.

  “Hi beautiful,” Dylan greets me as he plants a soft kiss to my lips.

  “Hey babe,” I say to him casually trying not to let on that I’m planning a crazy arse night out. He walks in and makes himself comfortable on the lounge, as per usual.

  “Come and sit with me Roxy,” he pleads with me holding his arms out.

  I sit next to him and he pulls me in close where he holds me in a tight embrace, he smells sweaty and dirty from working.

  Lately I must admit he has eased with the text messages, going from eight down to three is an improvement and one phone call on my lunch break like he said he would. Miracles do happen.

  He just lays holding me and not saying a word. Is he in a shitty mood, is he tired? Does he already know about tonight? I’m feeling puzzled and slightly uneasy.

  “What is wrong? Are you okay or being a grumble bum?” I say to him trying the break the ice and make him laugh but no such luck.

  “Just a shitty morning at work,” he tells me as he grabs the remote and flicks through the TV channels, acting more fidgety than usual.

  “Why don’t you go and have a few drinks, catch up with some friend’s babe. Maybe go see Charles,” I say to him hoping he does takes my advice; we need to do things with other people.

  “You trying to get rid of me Roxy?” he asks me chuckling but also raising his eyebrows concerned.

  Um, well yeah, kinda… I think to myself.

  “It’s not healthy Dylan, we both need our friends and families. When did you last see your mum and stepdad or your brother and sister?” I ask him and start to wonder what the real deal is there.

  “You know what it’s like Roxy, we aren’t a close family like yours, end of story,” Dylan states to me in an angry tone as he runs his hand through his messy hair.

  “Okay it’s up to you but blood is blood Dyl. I’ve always been a big believer in that, partners and friends come and go but family is forever,” I tell him quickly to get my point across before he cuts me off.

  “Thanks for that Roxy, I am grateful for you trying to intervene but some things are better left the way they are,” he replies hastily.

  “Oh hey Dylan,” Jemma says as she walks out of her room into the kitchen.

  “Hey Jemma, how you doing?” Dylan asks her being friendly even if I can see the annoyance in his face from her interrupting us.

  “Not bad at all,” Jemma replies.

  “I kinda need to borrow Roxy for the night though,” Jemma says to him subtlety. Yes! Good job Jemma, always to the rescue. She must have heard that I was struggling…

  “What do you mean b
orrow?” Dylan asks her intensely.

  “Well I’ve got Tia coming to go to Syrotti’s for dinner. We are getting the food catered for my party next week and I need Roxy’s opinion on how it tastes,” she tells him conniving.

  Great thinking Jemma.

  “We could both come, is Dan going?” Dylan asks.

  “Nope sorry it’s just us women, so no boys allowed,” she jokes to him.

  “Please Dyl, when was the last time I had dinner with the girls?” I plead with him and I really fucking hate that I have to beg to be allowed out. But to avoid a fight and him stalking me later I am trying to remain civil and reasonable.

  “Well I guess dinner is cool with me ladies,” he answers but I can see the lump in his throat as he says it. I am so glad Jemma asked him, as I know he would have tried to persuade me to stay home.

  “I’ll just wait here for you babe,” he tells me sounding needy again.

  Fucking hell, here we go again. The song “Little Lies” by Fleetwood Mac springs to mind.

  “You really can’t think of anything better you could be doing than waiting here for me?” I ask him trying to get his brain working and for him to realise he is too reliant on me.

  “Well, I guess I could message Charles and see what he is doing?” he answers and it makes me wonder if he will actually do it or if he is just saying it to keep me happy.

  “Yes, do it Dylan. It’ll healthy for you to see your mates,” I say to him.

  “What time are you thinking of going ladies?” he queries Jemma for the details.

  “Dinner is booked for six thirty so we are leaving at six. Tia is swinging past to pick us up,” Jemma tells Dylan informatively.

  I see Dylan texting on his phone, obviously to Charles, so when it beeps back pretty quickly it’s a good sign.

  “Okay so Charles is going to be playing poker at his place tonight with a few guys so I’ll be heading there too. You were right Roxy, I am looking forward to some male company,” Dylan tells me smiling.

  “Oh awesome, I hated the thought of you being here by yourself,” I state and give him a kiss on the cheek.

  I grab a quick shower and run the straightener through my hair, trying not to put in too much effort for Dylan’s sake.

  “Who are you trying to impress Roxy?” Dylan asks me as I apply my foundation and powder.

  Just the comment I was trying to avoid.

  “No one babe. I look this smoking hot for myself, not even for you,” I joke to him. I add a light purple eye shadow and black liquid eyeliner, then light mascara and lipstick. “I should probably get out of this robe,” I say when I realise I’m still in my not so sexy coral bathrobe.

  “No I want you to wear that to the club, it hides those sexy curves from the monsters that will be eyeing you off,” he tells me now sounding annoyed.

  I grab my dark denim skinny jeans and brown wedges, choosing a chocolate brown halter neck top and denim vest to go over it unbuttoned, pretty casual. Well for now…

  I strip to my cotton underwear and start to put on my jeans. Dylan hops off my bed and heads over to me grabbing me and pulling me against him.

  “You look hot in next to nothing Roxy, do you know that?” he tells me seductively. “Thinking of another guy even looking at you makes me furious. I would rip their heads off,” he tells me now fuming.

  “Don’t be silly, I will be enjoying dinner with the girls, no guys just us. Okay babe?” I reply to try and calm him down.

  “You better not drink too much Roxy. You turn into a flirty slut when you drink too much,” he tells me hurtfully.

  “That’s fucking rude Dylan,” I reply sick of his shit.

  “Sorry baby, how bout you just have three drinks and we’ll all be happy, and home by eleven Rox,” he orders me and I feel so angry, smothered and sick to my stomach. I feel like a school kid again. But I know he won’t stop this bullshit, so I nod like a good little girl.

  “I will only have three, I promise.” I really wanna call him on his bullshit and tell him to get steppin’ but it’s not worth the drama or the lecture he will give me…

  He leans in and gives me a long hard passionate kiss. I can feel my lips bruising from his roughness.

  “Okay, well I guess I’ll see you tomorrow Roxy. You better do the right thing by me, and I love you more than my own life,” he tells me squeezing my hand as he turns to walk out the front door.

  “Bye Jemma, don’t let anything happen to my girl,” he tells her.

  “Don’t worry; I am just so happy to have my bff for the night. We will stay at the restaurant till closing and enjoy a few girly drinks, maybe even karaoke,” Jemma adds, and it makes me laugh as I know just the club we are going and its hard core podiums, half naked men and women and it will be a very messy night.

  Bring it!

  I darken my foundation and eye make-up to a smokier look, straighten my hair some more and change my top to my purple halter neck, the beads accentuate my bust. A girls gotta look her best after all.

  Giving myself a once over in the mirror and adding my black stilettos, I am much happier with this choice. I smile at myself and feel happier than I’ve felt in weeks.

  I feel like a bird let out of her cage and how sad is that at twenty-five. I am in such a controlling relationship that I may as well be married. Panic is hitting, it’s too much too soon and damn it the walls are closing in.

  I sit on my bed and take some deep breaths; I need a drink or ten that’s for sure!

  This girl’s night could not have come at a better and more needed time in my life.

  Dylan has healed my heart break yes, but he has caused it to now feel trapped and no matter how hard I try to free it, it just isn’t budging.

  I need a night out to forget the drama, let loose, drink, dance and have fun!

  We jump in Tia’s sporty Mirage and zoom though the city. She is a demon on the road, zipping in and out of traffic so I put down my window and enjoy the wind in my hair

  So this is what freedom feels like again…

  Earlier today I sent a text to Jeremy to see where he and his band are playing tonight.

  Hey bro, I’m having a girls night. Do you and the band have a gig on tonight?

  He replied hours later, typical Jeremy.

  No sis, next Friday we are at the local. You will have to come, spread the word!

  Will do Jez. I will be there in the front row.

  We get to EXTREME! the hottest dance club in the city right now. The DJ is imported from the US and has won awards all around the world, and now I know why.

  The music is mesmerising and so catchy with a great rhythm and beat, even the worst dancer could rock it.

  “Drinks first!” I call to the girls and they all nod agreeing with me as we head to the bar. “Four Vodka and Raspberries, please,” I order and pay for the first round of drinks.

  It goes down so nice and easy and sends a warm sensation to my legs. I can’t remember the last time I had vodka.

  “I need another,” I tell Jem laughing and she nods, squeezes my hand and orders more drinks.

  “Four again please, Mr Bartender,” Jemma says flirting innocently with the bartender.

  “You got it gorgeous,” he replies flirting back.

  Throwing back my second drink, I am relaxing and my body is moving in time with the music.

  “Four Slippery Nipples,” Jemma orders seductively to the bartender again. I crack up laughing at her audacity. This girl has no shame but keeps me entertained.

  “Nice choice,” he tells her winking. As he places the shots on the bar he tells us smirking, “Enjoy ladies. I may have given a little extra for you beautiful women.” Got to Love extras.

  “Oh thanks dude,” I tell him feeling happy and relaxed as I pick up my shot glass. “Let’s do this my sexy ladies,” I tell them and they all grab their glasses before we clank them together.

  “Cheers,” we say in unison. Downing my drink easily, it feels and tastes amazing.


  “Let’s hit the dance floor now!” I scream to the four of them.

  “Let’s go,” Jem tells me leading the way swaying in her sexy way to the music.

  We make our way into the middle of the floor and get into the beat. I’m feeling euphoric and totally buzzing from my drinks.

  I’m swinging my hips to the music, my arms are in the air and it feels amazing. I feel alive! I had forgotten what that felt like to be honest. We smash it dancing for the next twenty minutes.

  “We need more shots!” I yell to Jemma or slur for the matter.

  “Anything for you whorebag,” she tells me jokingly. As she heads to the bar, I stay with Tia and keep dancing.

  I suddenly feel like I’m being watched... I look around the room, not sure if it’s someone I know or not. Stuff it; you are paranoid Roxy and drunk. So I just keep on busting a move and relax into it.

  Jemma brings the shots over. Tequila with lime and salt. “Woo hoo Jem, nice choice,” I tell her feeling happy.

  “Lick, sip, and suck let’s do it,” Tia adds as she grabs her shot glass.

  “Here’s to three fucking drinks, Dylan you motherfucker,” I cheer to my girls and they all laugh hysterically as I down my shot.

  I’m letting party girl Roxy out for the night. She is always lurking inside waiting to let her hair down and fuck that is what I will do! I’ve been feeling a bit contained and imprisoned and I don’t like it one bit.

  How can I go from feeling happy, somewhat content and feeling safe to now being scared and confused? I’ve heard of bipolar but this is insane. Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde is Dylan without a doubt.

  We head to our table to have the rest of our shots, planning on cabbing it home later and collecting Tia’s car tomorrow. I am starting to get quite intoxicated and damn it feels amazing.