A House Divided

by Kimberla Lawson Roby

  “Why?”

  “He didn’t want Vanessa and me here at the same time.”

  “I hate things have turned out like this, but I’m sure they’ll get better.”

  Tears flowed down Charlotte’s face. “I’m so hurt.”

  Neil pulled her into his arms. “It’ll be fine. I promise.”

  Charlotte held on to him, sniffling, and she felt safe. She could tell he meant what he said, and that he was on her side more than he was his wife’s. He genuinely wanted her to have a relationship with their grandson.

  Neil held on to her but lifted her chin with his hand. “It really will be okay.”

  Charlotte gazed into his eyes and then quickly pulled away from him. This was a tad too close for comfort. Earlier, she’d been thinking how she would in fact turn to Neil if she had to—use him to get what she wanted—but now she wasn’t so sure that was a good idea. Not with her stomach churning the way it was, or with the way his gentle touch had shot tantalizing chills through her body. She loved her husband with all her heart, and she wouldn’t betray him. She wouldn’t allow her problems with Vanessa and the baby to get her into trouble. She wouldn’t make the same kinds of mistakes she’d made in the past with other men. She would never give Curtis another reason to consider divorcing her. But, oh, how electrifying this man’s touch and gaze were. On Sunday when he’d held her in his arms, she hadn’t noticed anything special because she’d been totally focused on her plan to gain his sympathy. She’d geared all of her attention toward the fake crying she’d had to muster. She’d also had to make sure she’d said all the right words so he’d feel even sorrier for her. Today was a different story, though. Today she was vulnerable, and these sensual feelings he’d drawn out of her were scary.

  “Did I do something wrong?” he asked.

  “No, but I’d better go.”

  “That’s fine, but at some point we’re going to have to stop pretending we don’t want each other.”

  “I don’t know what you mean.”

  “I think you do. You’ve known ever since we first laid eyes on each other, and to be honest, I’m tired of ignoring it.”

  Charlotte turned around, opened the door, and hurried down the hallway as fast as she could. Dear God, no. Please don’t let this be happening again.

  She strode a few more steps and into Racquel’s room. Matthew was holding his son.

  “Oh my,” she said. “Isn’t this a Kodak moment?”

  Racquel and Matthew laughed, and Charlotte walked closer. “He’s so precious, Matt. Simply flawless.”

  “I’m sure you said the same thing about me when I was born.”

  “I did. But now little MJ has taken your spot.”

  They all laughed again.

  “I mean he’s literally the spitting image of you, sweetie,” Charlotte said, and then looked at Racquel. “Can I hold him?”

  “Of course,” she said, smiling.

  Matthew carefully laid MJ in her arms, and Charlotte thought her legs might give away. When Matthew had come into the world, she hadn’t thought she could love anyone more, and then when Marissa had been born, she’d felt the same way about her. But this special moment with MJ was different. She wasn’t sure why, but if she could walk out of there with MJ right now and keep him forever, she would. She was utterly mesmerized by her new grandson and loved him more with every second. She could barely take her eyes off him, and she guessed she’d been so consumed with MJ that she’d lost time, because she now heard Matthew practically singing her name over and over.

  “Moooomm. Hellooo? Earth to Mom.”

  “Honey, I’m sorry. Did you say something?”

  “Only a few different times.”

  “I guess I was somewhere else, but I can’t help it. Little MJ is an absolute angel. He’s everything a family could hope for.”

  Racquel smiled. “My mom was saying the same thing this morning when they took him out of the incubator.”

  Charlotte swallowed hard. “Oh, so she’d already gotten here by then?”

  “No, when the doctors told us they were going to do it around ten o’clock, I called to tell her. So she hopped in her car and drove over.”

  Charlotte could barely breathe. She didn’t want to think the worst of her son or anyone else, but it had been around nine-thirty when she’d spoken to him, and he hadn’t said a word. She was already bothered by the fact that he hadn’t told her the great news about MJ when he’d called her back this afternoon, but she’d had no idea that he’d already known before she’d called him the first time. It was clear that he’d purposely not told her, and she wanted to cry again.

  But she didn’t. Instead, she held things together, smiled through her pain, and admired her little grandson. She spent as much time as she could with MJ while he was still there in the hospital, because she now knew she was going to have a huge fight on her hands once he went home with the Andersons. Matthew would be gone in a few days, and she’d have to resort to begging to see her own flesh and blood. She wished this wasn’t going to be the case, but her gut told her something different. Her intuition screamed trouble and loads of drama, and she knew the road ahead would be tough; for this reason, she had no choice but to shield herself with the best artillery. She had to be ready. It was unfortunate, to say the least, but there was no getting around it.

  Chapter 15

  I’m not sure why I even called Curtis…well, the first time I called, it was just to make sure my friend had given me the right cell number. She works for the same mobile company Curtis has his account with. But for some reason, after I hung up, I couldn’t get his voice out of my head. All he’d done was say hello a couple of times, but even then his tone had infuriated me. He sounded so confident and full of himself and as if life couldn’t be better. So, I called him back just to mess with him, and sure enough, this time, his feathers sounded a little ruffled. He sounded as though he’d hated to answer his phone and like he was frustrated. I could tell, too, that he’s been racking his brain trying to figure out who sent him that letter. But the joke is on him, because he would never guess in a million years. He would never suspect it was me, but how could he? How could he begin to make any legitimate guesses, when he’d hurt so many? I’m also wondering how his son, Matthew, will deal with the news about his father. Matthew and Alicia, Curtis’s firstborn, have certainly witnessed their fair share of family scandal. But now Matthew has a brand new baby boy, and I can’t imagine he’ll be happy about his father’s upcoming news bulletin. Then, there’s his wife, Charlotte, and his bastard child, Curtina…well, actually, Matthew is his bastard child, too, because Curtis definitely wasn’t married to his wife back then. He was married, but not to Charlotte. Anyway, I can’t help wondering what this news will mean for Charlotte and Curtina, either, but if I were to be truthful with myself I’d have to admit that I couldn’t care less about any of them. There was a time when I was a lot more caring and sympathetic toward people, and even as I began planning my revenge on Curtis many years ago, there were times when I would hesitate and change my mind because of his children. I didn’t think any child deserved to be humiliated because of the stupid mistakes their parents made, but eventually I got over it. As time continued, I began focusing on myself and my own satisfaction, and I also realized something else: Curtis’s children are not my responsibility. Not my worry. It will be interesting, though, to see the look on his face when this all comes to a head. I’ve even dreamed about it. I literally can’t wait.

  Chapter 16

  Charlotte listened to the choir, but she wasn’t happy. The situation with little MJ had turned out exactly the way she’d expected. Vanessa, Matthew, and Racquel had taken the baby home on Thursday, and now here it was Sunday, yet Charlotte and Curtis still hadn’t seen him. Actually, the only time they’d seen Matthew was when he’d come home yesterday to get more clothes and to pick up Curtina. He’d taken his little sister to see the baby for the first time, but then when he’d brought her back, he’d
hung around for all of twenty minutes and was out the door again. Charlotte had wanted to ask him if it was okay for them to come visit MJ, especially since Curtina had told her she’d seen Alicia and Phillip at the Andersons. But Curtis had told Charlotte she should give Matthew and Racquel some time alone. Give them space, he’d said. Let them get the baby settled, he’d continued. Curtis had even advised her to ask her parents to wait a few more days before driving over, too, but she knew that was only because Curtis knew his mother-in-law well. It would be nothing for Noreen to handle Vanessa in a noticeable way if she stepped out of line.

  But not only was Charlotte sad about not seeing her grandson, she was also sad about not being able to spend time with Matthew, particularly since he was flying back to Boston this evening. It was as if Matthew had completely forgotten about his own family—his own mother—and had found a new family to love and be a part of.

  The choir sang “How Great Is Our God” as beautifully as always, but Charlotte found herself questioning God the same as she had in the past. It seemed that there was always one thing or another to deal with. Just last year, they’d been faced with the likes of that Sharon woman who’d become obsessed with Curtis; and the year before, Charlotte had gotten herself mixed up in a couple of affairs. Now, this year, things still weren’t going her way. She knew that not every day could be happy and perfect, but this not-seeing-her-grandson-whenever-she-wanted-to thing was difficult to tolerate. It was pushing her over the edge, and she couldn’t find peace with it. For the last few days, ever since holding little MJ for the first time in the hospital, Charlotte hadn’t thought about much else. She daydreamed about the little smile she’d seen on his face while he’d been sleeping and also about all the places she wanted to take him when he was older. She would even settle for just having him for one overnight stay, but she had a feeling this was out of the question, too.

  The choir sang another song, and then Minister Simmons walked into the pulpit.

  “Let’s give our wonderful choir another round of applause.”

  The clapping of hands and verbal amens could be heard throughout the entire sanctuary. Deliverance Outreach truly did have a most talented music director and brilliant choir, and Charlotte looked forward to hearing them each Sunday.

  Minister Simmons looked across the congregation. “As our great pastor would say, ‘This is the day the Lord hath made, so let us rejoice and be glad in it.’”

  Curtis sat next to Charlotte and smiled. Lately, Curtis had been allowing Minister Simmons to say a few words before their tithe and offering period, and he seemed to love speaking before so many people. Charlotte knew she might be wrong about him, but sometimes she thought Minister Simmons enjoyed being in the pulpit just a little too much. He was only in his early thirties and was very knowledgeable when it came to the Bible, but he sometimes seemed drunk with ambition. He talked a lot about having his own megachurch one day and how he couldn’t wait to be the kind of minister Curtis was, and Charlotte wasn’t sure he could be trusted. Last year, she’d shared her feelings about it with Curtis, but Curtis had told her Minister Simmons was simply young and hungry for the Word. However, Charlotte would never forget one of the other assistant pastors they’d had, Reverend Tolson, and how he’d tried to take the ministry right from under Curtis. He’d been drunk with power, too, and he had betrayed Curtis in the worst way.

  Maybe she was being paranoid, but after all she and Curtis had been through, it was hard for her to trust everyone. Most of their staff members were good, honest, loyal individuals, but within every organization, there were always a few who wanted to take over, and Charlotte couldn’t ignore that. Curtis never ignored it, either, but he still tended to give most of his people the benefit of the doubt. He believed in them until they gave him a reason not to.

  “As always, it’s a blessing just to be alive,” Minister Simmons commented, and the members nodded and said “Amen.” I also want to thank Pastor Black for allowing me to serve at this great church. It is by far the highlight of my life. This ministry means everything to me. The other thing I wanted to say is how happy I am that our pastor and first lady’s grandson is finally home and in good health.”

  This time there was more applause than before.

  Curtis and Charlotte smiled with joy.

  “God is good,” Minister Simmons said. “And I guess that brings us to our next phase of service. The giving of tithes and offerings.”

  Some members took envelopes from their purses or suit jackets with checks or cash sealed away in them, and others hurried to write out their checks or pull cash from their wallets. For whatever reason, most of the members at Deliverance never had to be told how important it was for them to tithe from all of their earnings. They didn’t do it because Curtis or one of the ministers asked them, but because they believed in the Word and understood that 10 percent of everything that God had blessed them with was to be returned back to Him. Then, there were those who were having a hard time economically who gave only what they could, and Curtis and the rest of the staff were grateful. They never tried to force anyone to do any more than what they were able to, and their members appreciated that.

  After the ushers went through the aisles, passing the buckets down each row, they formed a single line and left the sanctuary. Each Sunday, they took all that had been given into a room where hired staff members waited. The gifts were then counted, totaled, bagged up, and taken to their bank’s night depository. Finally, on Tuesday, a different set of employees would enter the amounts given into the system with each person’s assigned contribution number, so that tax statements could be mailed at a later date.

  Just as Curtis stood and walked over to the stairs of the pulpit, Charlotte saw Matthew and Racquel walk in through the side door. She was a little surprised, because Matthew hadn’t mentioned anything about them coming. He waved at his church family, and they applauded. They were happy to see their pastor’s son, and they were all very proud of his educational accomplishments.

  When Curtis walked over to the podium, Matthew pointed toward the cordless microphone, silently asking if he could address everyone. Curtis motioned for him to join him, and Matthew walked into the pulpit and hugged his father. Racquel took a seat one section over from Charlotte on the front row.

  “Good morning,” Matthew said.

  “Good morning,” everyone responded.

  “Well, as all of you know, I became a father last Saturday. Our baby was born a little early, but by the grace of God he’s doing fine and he’s now home with us.”

  There were lots of happy chattering and more applauding, and many thanked God out loud.

  “I also wanna thank all of you for standing by my family and for praying the way you did…and for not judging me. I know you didn’t expect me to have a child so young or without being married, and I just want to apologize for that. I apologized months ago, but I wanted to say I’m sorry again. I made a mistake, but as my father has always told me, ‘It’s not about the mistakes you make, it’s about whether you learn from them and whether you go on to become a better person,’ and that’s exactly what I plan to do, starting today.”

  Charlotte looked over at Racquel but all she did was look straight ahead, and that made Charlotte nervous. What did Matthew mean when he’d said, ‘starting today’?” She hoped it wasn’t for the reason she was thinking, but before she could barely finish her thought, she heard her son say, “So while not even my parents know this yet, I’ve asked Racquel to marry me.”

  The congregation went wild. Charlotte had never seen them more excited, and Curtis hugged Matthew again. But all Charlotte did was wonder if Matthew had lost his mind. Was he that caught up with the idea of being a new father that he thought he had to marry the mother? Or had Racquel begged and pleaded and worn him down? He’d been staying at their home for three days, so she’d had plenty of time to work her magic, sweet-talk him and make him see that getting married was the right thing to do. And there was no doubt tha
t her mother, the wicked witch of Mitchell, had encouraged every bit of this misfortune. It was bad enough that Charlotte had tolerated Racquel for all these months. But now, as she looked over at her, she wondered how long Racquel had been planning this scheme of hers. Charlotte had always said she was a gold digger, and that she’d only gotten pregnant as a way to trap Matthew, and now her suspicions had been realized. This impromptu announcement was all the proof Charlotte needed, but if she had anything to do with it, this shady engagement of theirs would be the longest engagement in history. Racquel was the mother of Matthew’s child, but she just wasn’t right for him, and Charlotte would rather die than accept her as a daughter-in-law. This girl was ruining everything, right along with her obnoxious mother, and something had to be done about it. Someone also needed to talk to Matthew before he made some other rash decision, like dropping out of college. What a disaster that would be. What a nightmare this whole fiasco had turned into. What a total and complete mess this was—period.

  Chapter 17

  As soon as Matt walked into the kitchen, Charlotte started right in on him. “Why are you doing this, Matt?”

  “Because I love her, Mom.”

  “You love her or you love your son?”

  “Both.”

  “You do know that just because you have a baby with someone, it doesn’t mean you have to marry them.”

  Matt looked away from her. “See, this is why I didn’t tell you. I asked Racquel to marry me before the baby was even born.”

  Charlotte had known the conversation between her and Matthew wouldn’t go well, so before they’d left church, she’d asked Aunt Emma if Curtina could go home with her. Aunt Emma loved her great-niece, so keeping her for a few hours or even overnight was never a problem.