When a Heart Trips

by Dominique Laura

  She gives me a quick, hard hug. “Ugh, the level of proud I am right now—there are no words, best. No. Freaking. Words.”

  I laugh, throwing my head back as we pull away from each other, about to go our separate ways to our first class. “I’m honestly proud too, of myself, it’s all so crazy.”

  “But, like, the best kind, right?” she throws over her shoulder, a quick smile flashing my way.

  “Oh, the absolute best,” I yell at her retreating back, heading to my own class.

  Monday mornings are universally known as being the worst, that’s just a fact, but this Monday is anything but horrible. It’s actually shaping up to be pretty great.

  “Devon!” someone shouts from somewhere behind me in the busy hallway leading to class. I would know that voice anywhere, so I search through the faces of everyone in my way, body buzzing with anticipation at seeing him in person for the first time since our kiss.

  I finally spot him speed walking my way, and when his long strides place him directly in front of me in moments, I reach up to move a lone hair from his forehead. He smiles as he breathes out, happy to see me.

  “I missed seeing your pretty face in person; FaceTime just isn’t good enough,” he comments before leaning to press a quick kiss to the corner of my mouth. “I was really looking forward to doing that.”

  “Pretty, huh?” I flirt, body filling with enough energy to go for a long run and still have some left. He makes me feel energized, and his words pierce my soul in the best way.

  “More than pretty, but I didn’t want to inflate your ego in case I’ve been rubbing off on you,” he jokes just as the warning bell rings.

  I narrow my gaze. “I don’t think anyone’s ego can outshine yours, Julian,” I flirt back, smirking up at him.

  He laughs, shaking his head at me, his typical reaction to anything I say, as if he’s at a momentary loss for words.

  “I’ll see you at lunch, we have a lot to talk about today,” he tells me with a smile, like we didn’t spend the entire weekend texting back and forth and FaceTiming whenever we could. I swear my mother has never been more suspicious.

  “Sounds good,” I say, and when his lips press against my forehead in farewell, I sigh in contentment, the butterflies in my stomach growing tenfold.

  As he retreats from me, heading in the direction of his own class, it’s then that I’m aware of our way-too-public displays of affection and the many people now staring at me.

  Well, our bubble was fun while it lasted. Not that it should matter, but teenagers are vicious, and with him being a jock and me a virtual nobody, well, I feel like it’s going to be some sort of deal. Whether it’s a big deal or a little one, time will only tell. Then again, we aren’t living in some sort of telenovela, so there’s also a very real possibility that people won’t care. I’m hoping for option number two, please.

  I’m sitting at my usual spot in the library, back pressed against one of the many bookshelves lining the walls. I stuffed my lunch in my mouth quickly, my standard crunchy peanut butter and jelly sandwich with pretzels sticks and fruit on the side, because I didn’t want to sit at the designated table for food in the library. Now I’m just waiting for Julian to join me, stomach satisfied and full.

  I’m nervous, irrationally so, I’m well aware. It’s just that lately, whenever I’m with him, I don’t feel seventeen. No, I somehow simultaneously feel younger and older. So far, everything with him has been simple and natural, like our interactions and conversations and that first kiss we shared a couple of days ago.

  I sigh dreamily at the memory, the tips of my fingers gently tracing my lips. I’m so distracted by it that I don’t notice Jules has entered the library and taken a seat across from me until his foot is nudging mine.

  I glance up, a bit startled, hand falling into my lap.

  “Hey, you,” he says sweetly, eyes crinkling as he smiles at me.

  “Hey right back,” I say softly, body buzzing with how close he is. I missed him, and I just saw him this morning. Man, I really am falling headfirst, aren’t I?

  “You look lost in thought, is everything okay?” he asks, head tilting in concern. “Did something happen?”

  “No, no, everything is perfect,” I reassure him and shake my head, chuckling at the automatic half-truth that just tumbled from my lips. “Actually, it’s not, not completely.”

  “What’s going on in that head of yours, Dev?” he asks, as if he’s privy to the thoughts floating through my mind. His ability to read me the same way I read my favorite books strengthens the more time we spend together. It’s a little unnerving but also flattering.

  I take a deep breath, release it slowly, and contemplate how to start and which insecurity or concern to bring up first.

  “Well, there are a couple of things going on, thoughts that won’t stop no matter how hard I try to shove them away,” I tell him honestly, eyes never straying from his. “The first is that I am absolutely terrified of people finding out that we’re a thing and making a big deal out of it because I’m not sure how I’ll deal with the pressures that come from a super public relationship, if there even are pressures. What do I know, right?”

  He smirks then, a look of relief replacing the tenseness in his gaze that had popped in for a second. “Well, that’s an easy one to address.”

  “Oh, is it?” I ask, eyes narrowing in curiosity. “What do you know that I don’t?”

  “I’m surprised that Erin didn’t bring it up since she commented on it with a ton of emojis and hashtags to support us,” he contemplates aloud, and as my eyes widen with new confusion, he laughs quietly, continuing on. “I posted the photo we took in the library awhile back on Instagram last night.”

  “You actually posted it?” I question, wonderment and flattery filling my chest. “Why would you do that? I mean, why now when we took it weeks ago?”

  “Because I wanted to. I wanted to show you off, I guess,” he answers simply. “But now that I think about it, I probably should have asked you if that was okay first.”

  “No, no.” I shake my head in disagreement. “I’m glad you didn’t because had you asked, I would have been overthinking every detail, and I probably would have crashed the Instagram app with how often I would have refreshed it, especially because my account is rarely used as it is. I’m not great at the social media thing.”

  And it’s the truth. My anxiety would have been through the roof the moment he posted it. Even now, it’s threatening to make an appearance, but I push against it because it has no place here. Not now, especially with Jules around.

  “Really? I love that about you,” he states in awe. “Most people our age, and this includes the majority of my friends, are obsessed with their follower count and what content they put out there. It can get a bit exhausting, to be honest.”

  “I don’t doubt that, it’s the same for Erin sometimes,” I comment, thinking of the bajillion photo and caption ideas that Erin sends me before she posts. It’s mostly for encouragement because, again, my understanding of anything social media is at the barest of minimums, and she’s well aware. So, knowing she saw the photo Jules posted and commented, well, I’m definitely going to have to ask her about this one.

  “So, to address your earlier concern, there’s no reason to be terrified because people already know, and they were mostly supportive.”

  “Mostly?” Worry has me biting the inside of my lower lip.

  “The people who weren’t were mostly just shocked that I was crushing on someone,” he says with a laugh. “It’s been a long while since I’ve gone public with someone. Things don’t usually go that far, ya know?”

  “By far do you mean deep into the crush stage?” I question, heart stopping for a moment as I ask my next question, voice holding surprisingly steady. “Were your other relationships more one-night, one-week, or one-month types? A few hookups and then nothing?”

  He looks surprised by my question, but he answers anyway. “There hasn’t been anyone
like you, Dev, if that’s what you’re really asking.”

  “I’m sorry, that question was a little accusatory, I’m just—it’s irrational, but I’m envious of the girls who came before me. I can’t imagine you sharing what you have with me with anyone else.”

  “You have nothing to worry about, trust me. Everything with you is a first.”

  “What do you mean by that?” I tilt my head to the side, nervous for what he’ll say next.

  He swipes a hand through his hair and down his face, shaking his head with a nervous laugh. “We only have thirty minutes together right now, and I didn’t think this is how we’d spend it. Get out of that head of yours, Dev. I like you a lot, and it’s more than a crush at this point.”

  I laugh with him, a heaviness leaving my chest as I say, “You’re absolutely right, I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t apologize, I love how open you are with your feelings. Your heart is one of the things I like most about you.”

  “So since we’re super short on time, can I see that photo you posted? I’m genuinely curious to see what caption you used.”

  He looks sheepish for a moment before he pulls his phone out, and after a few swipes and taps, he holds it out for me, the picture of us taking up the screen. I lean in, squinting to read the caption that says, Siri, play “Crush” by David Archuleta, accompanied with a music note emoji and heart.

  I smile big, eyes moving from the screen to his face, a tint of red coloring his cheeks.

  “It was late, and that was the best I could come up with,” he says lightly, almost nonchalant.

  I shake my head, giggling in reaction to the flattery taking root. “Stop, it’s sweet. I love it.”

  And then true to form, we’re interrupted by reality and our time is cut short when the bell rings, signaling the end of lunch.

  “Saved by the bell, literally.” He sounds relieved, and I laugh as he hops up before leaning down to press a lingering kiss to my forehead.

  “Saturday. Day date?” he asks, sounding hopeful.

  “Yes, always yes,” I reply, smiling like a goofball.

  Once he’s out of sight, I settle into the hard bookshelf, hoping a period buried deep in a book will calm my heart. There’s still so much to talk about, there always is with Jules, but no amount of time is ever enough, especially not a thirty-minute lunch period.

  At least I have a date to look forward to.

  Fifteen

  Saturday is here before I know it, and I’m standing in front of my closet, contemplating what to wear for our first official day date in public. We’ve been cocooning ourselves, enjoying movie night after movie night, so this is definitely new territory.

  So, I call in reinforcements.

  After a few unsuccessful tries, Erin finally answers, and my best friend is squinting at me through the small phone screen.

  “Good morning, sunshine,” I say cheerily, laughing at her wince. “I was starting to think that you were ignoring me.”

  “Mm, nope, I was just busy sleeping in, ya know, like any other sane person does on Saturday,” she grumbles, burrowing deeper into her comforter as she pulls it up to her chin. “What do you want, dream killer?”

  I bark out a laugh. “Dream killer? Oh, I’m sorry, did I interrupt something more than sleep?”

  “You sure did. I was having the most amazing moment with Nina Dobrev, one of my ultimate girl crushes, which you obviously know,” she shares sleepily, a yawn breaking through. “So, yeah, for the next couple hours while I curse you for both waking me and interrupting my dream, dream killer is what you’ll be.”

  “Well, just think of this as payback for you not immediately sending me a screenshot of Julian’s Instagram post,” I jokingly remind her, head tilting to the side for added sass.

  She groans, lips pursing at the reminder. “You are totally right, and I would have told you, but it was so sweet and I didn’t want you to freak, so I was just waiting for the dust to settle.”

  “I know, I know, and I’m glad you didn’t because it was kind of sweet hearing it from Jules,” I tell her, thinking about how normal everything has remained since then. “I’m actually a little surprised at how little everyone seems to care. I for sure thought it would be a big deal or gossip topic.”

  “Nah, people date, it’s a thing, and you two are so freaking adorable together that it’s honestly becoming goals at this point.” She pauses for a moment. “Also, someday, we’ve gotta work on your social media activity, or lack of, really.”

  “We can work on that another day. I’m sure it’ll be useful next year while we’re away at college,” I agree, knowing full well how important an online presence is, especially in the publishing industry, which is where I’d like to work. “But right now, we have a different task to work on. I have no idea what to wear on this day date with Jules, who refuses to tell me where we’re going, by the way.”

  She chuckles, head shaking in amusement. “He still hasn’t told you where you’re going? I figured, with as much as I’m sure you’ve been asking, that he would have told you by now.”

  “Oh, no, he is keeping this as tight-lipped as possible.” I groan, remembering his cute smile and simple “you’ll see” whenever I’d ask. “It’s starting to make me just a teeny bit nervous.”

  “Just a teeny bit, huh? Is that why you’re calling me at seven o’clock in the morning?” she teases, a knowing gleam in her eyes.

  “I just don’t know what to wear, and he said he would be here around eight, so I’m really losing time here the more we talk about anything other than my outfit,” I stress, stomach twisting with nerves that won’t seem to leave. “I don’t even know why I’m putting so much thought into this right now. I hang out with him nearly every day; he knows what I look like and how I dress.”

  Erin sighs and sits up in bed, clearly knowing that this is going to take a lot longer than she anticipated. “It’s because you care, and this isn’t just any other day. It’s special, so it’s okay to want to look your absolute best.”

  “I do care, you’re totally right, ugh. So gross.” I twist my mouth in mock disgust before laughing.

  “Speaking of, did you curl your hair and put some makeup on?” she asks, bringing the phone closer to her face as if to properly inspect me.

  “I did, I so did,” I confirm, not sounding the least bit embarrassed. “Because you’re absolutely right, I want to look my best, and that included curls and lipgloss and mascara and blush and hopefully an outfit that won’t look like I tried as hard as I actually am.”

  “Okay, okay, deep breaths. We’ve got this, and you’re going to look amazing,” Erin encourages. “Just remember that it’s autumn and November, so it’s going to be a chilly day, which works in your favor because fall clothing is the best clothing.”

  “Okay, you fashionista, whatever you say, just please help me,” I plead, pouting dramatically to really sell how desperate I am.

  And that’s exactly what she does. Like the amazing best friend she is, she acts as my own personal designer, and I love every minute of it.

  An hour later, I’m waiting on my front porch wearing a pair of black leggings, an oversized, off-the-shoulder burgundy sweater, and a pair of knee-high black boots. I’ve only worn the boots a few times, mostly on holidays, but today is special, so they seem fitting.

  “Oh, he’s definitely going to kiss you again,” is all Erin had to say before she blew me a kiss and a thumbs-up before hanging up on me. She’s definitely already asleep again.

  I’m so ready. Confidence has never been my strong suit, but despite the bundle of anxiousness I feel right now, I feel confident and pretty.

  “Forget you, nerves, I’ve so got this,” I say, even as I pop a handful of mints into my mouth.

  No matter what happens today or what we do, I know it’ll be a good time because I’ll be with Jules.

  I’ve officially accepted the fact that this is more than a crush, and I’m ready to fully embrace that. I mean, I think
so, anyway. It’s much easier said than done, that’s for sure.

  I’ll just channel my inner Addy, whose confidence and boldness is outmatched. Yes, that’s another Nerdgasm reference, but it’s too good not to convert into a mantra guide.

  Sixteen

  When Jules pulls up in a new-looking Honda Accord, I know he’s not driving his own car because I’ve seen him in other types of cars that were definitely not this one.

  “Morning, Dev,” Jules greets as he rushes from his side of the car to the passenger side, reaching the door handle before I’m able to and opening it for me.

  I pause for a moment, smile halting, as I openly gawk him. Fitted dark-wash jeans, a deep grey shirt, and a Nike zip-up hoodie make up his look. His deep brown eyes somehow seem darker, and they roam over my body the same way mine do his.

  “Morning, Jules, feeling super chivalrous today?” I tease, sliding onto the cool seats and locking in the seat belt.

  When he’s back in the driver’s seat, hands on the wheel, he looks over at me with a small smile. “Get used to it because I plan on pulling out all the chivalry today.”

  “Oh, is that so?” I ask teasingly, smiling like a goof. “Where are we headed anyway?”

  “You and I are going apple picking,” he shares excitedly as he pulls onto the street and focuses his attention on driving.

  “Apple picking?” I question, a bit in awe. “Are you serious?”

  “Of course I am,” he states, sounding offended. “No one jokes about apple picking. It’s something my family and I do every year, and when we went a few weeks ago, I knew I wanted to take you there.”

  His sweetness touches me deep in my soul, and I have the urge to lean over and kiss him, but I don’t because, well, he’s driving.

  “Where is there exactly?” I ask, curiosity and a sense of thrill starting to unfold.

  “Oak Glen,” he shoots over at me. “There’s this incredible restaurant there that I think you’ll really enjoy too. Their dessert is amazing.”