He sighs happily, pressing another lingering kiss to my mouth. “I don’t know, I don’t think anyone knows. But my heart feels the same. I’m learning with you that it’s okay to be cheesy and to feel things. Believe me, this is all new for me too.”
“Really? Even with how experienced you are?” I ask suddenly, sounding a little dejected, which surprises even me.
“Ha.” His lips quirk in a half-smile. “Well, that’s definitely a conversation we should have in your room, where it’s more private, and not in the hallway of your family’s home.”
I pull away from him quickly, swallowing down my anxiousness. “I completely forgot where we were for a minute. Yes, okay, come on in.”
He follows closely behind me, and when we’re standing in the middle of my room together, I turn, arms lifting. “Well, this is it. This is probably my favorite place in the entire world to be, aside from the library, of course.”
Julian is quiet for a moment as his eyes canvas my room, a small smile playing on his face the entire time. I nearly bounce on my toes, wanting—no, needing to know everything he’s thinking at this moment.
“It’s very you,” is all he says, the hint of a smile in his tone replicating the one on his face.
“What does that even mean?” I question, worry and excitement both rushing through me.
“It means that this room definitely belongs to you, especially with the hundreds of books you have stacked on your shelves. Do you even have any room for more bookshelves? What are you going to do when you buy more books and can’t put them anywhere?”
“Oh, I’ll find a place for them, don’t worry. I’d sooner get rid of my wardrobe than shrink my book collection,” I say, my tone determined and hard, which only makes him laugh.
Being around him feels good. Maybe I was wrong before, maybe it is true what they all say about distance making the heart grow fonder.
Twenty
“I think we should consider ourselves lucky because I’m pretty sure that at this rate, my dad is out for the night,” I announce, laughing at my dad’s ability to sleep for hours on end without waking. It’s truly a gift.
Jules chuckles, looking over at me from where we lie side by side on my floor, pillows beneath both our heads.
“You think so? I was looking forward to meeting him,” he says, sounding genuinely disappointed.
“Really?” I ask, chest expanding with an emotion I still refuse to name because it doesn’t make sense to. It’s way too soon, and we’re still in the very early stages of learning about each other. “Why is that?”
“Because he’s your father, Dev, and he had a huge hand in creating you,” he tells me like it’s the most obvious reason in the world. “That sounded lame, didn’t it? I have a habit of losing my cool card whenever I’m around you.”
“No, it wasn’t lame, it was sweet.” I shake my head, hand reaching out to cup his cheek for a moment. “You’re sweet. I love how honest you are with your thoughts and feelings. It’s admirable and mature.”
“Yeah?” he says, turning over so that he’s on his side facing me, one hand resting on the side of his head as his arm holds him up. “You think I’m mature, huh?”
“Oh, shut up,” I bite jokingly, positioning my body so that it mirrors his. “You’re just different than I thought you would be. I definitely judged you before I knew you. You’re someone I would’ve pegged as being out of my league. I mean, you still are, the only difference between then and now is that you’re mine now. Right?”
“I am yours, yeah, you don’t have to question that, Dev,” he murmurs. “I know we’re young, and it might seem like we’re moving too fast, but I mean that.”
“I know you do. I’m learning that you’re not the type of person to say things you don’t mean,” I tell him gently. “You’re unapologetic with who you are, even when you try to downplay your sweetness by calling it lame or cheesy.”
His hand reaches out, brushing a loose strand of hair behind my ear. “Tell me a secret, Devon.”
“What kind of secret would you like to know?” I rasp, swallowing back a ball of nerves that’s lodged itself in my throat.
“Anything.”
“Okay, but only if you’ll tell me one back, deal?” I ask, holding out a pinky for him to take in his own, which he does, eyes playfully rolling as we make a pinky promise. “We don’t really talk about football together, but I know you’re an amazing player. And I know I’ve never asked about it, so I’m sorry for that. Or maybe it just oddly never came up, but it’s such a huge aspect of your life, so why not really bring it up?”
I don’t realize until I ask that it’s a question I’ve been holding on to in the back of my mind since I realized the topic rarely comes up. Unless he’s talking about practice, his love for the game is pretty silent, which I find odd because it seems to be a big part of his life.
“Oh, you’re really digging in there, aren’t you?” he jokes. “I didn’t even realize it was something we haven’t really discussed. It’s a sport, an extracurricular, a way to get my body moving and my heart pumping. I don’t love it like a lot of the other guys do. It’s fun, of course, but…” He pauses for a moment, as if to gather his thoughts. And then he sighs, continuing with, “It might sound trivial or stereotypical or whatever, but it’s all my dad has ever cared about—the game. So, I play for him, to give us something to bond over. And I am good at it, really good, but the older I get, the only thing he seems to care about is my football career. I mean, you should have heard how disappointed he was when I told him I didn’t want to pursue a career outside of high school. He was devastated and angry, and that’s when I realized I was making the right decision because I wasn’t upset about not taking it further. It’s my decision, and I made it for me, ya know?”
He looks sad as he shares this information with me, like it’s affected him more than he wants to admit but he’s staying strong anyway because, like he said, it was a decision he made for himself.
“I’m sorry about it causing an issue between you and your dad, but that’s really brave, Jules,” I quietly commend, leaning over to press a kiss against the side of his mouth.
“Now you think I’m brave?” he says, smirking with his eyes. “If anyone ever asks why my ego is so big, I’ll just refer them to you.”
“Oh, is that so?” I smirk.
“Yeah, yeah it is,” he says, sounding cuter than any man should. Before I can react, he’s gently moving me onto my back, his body hovering just above mine while his lips connect with the underside of my chin in the gentlest of kisses.
“I’ve never told anyone that before,” he whispers against my skin, pulling back a bit so that his eyes align with mine.
My body is buzzing all over, and I feel like I’ve gone numb in the places his body is lightly pressing against. My heart feels like it’s going to pop out of my chest and try to join his. I’ve never been in this position before, and the ease with how he got me here isn’t lost on me. The way his eyes are currently trying to read mine makes me want to somehow have him be as affected as I am.
I breathe heavily, my chest moving up and down at an above-average pace. “Jules, what are you doing?” I manage, eyes glazing over with what has to be lust. I can’t even blame my teenage hormones on this one because it’s more than physical. My heart wants whatever this is just as much as my body does, despite the undercurrent of unease settling in beneath my skin.
“I’m not really sure, it just felt right, but I am going to kiss you again,” he mumbles, voice steady and strong, the direct opposite of how I’m feeling right now.
It’s strange because despite the unease I feel, I also feel safe and secure with him being so close to me. I can nearly feel his heart beating against mine.
“What are you waiting for?” I bravely breathe out, head tilting up to meet his lips as his mouth moves toward mine.
This kiss is different from the others we’ve shared. This one is searing and hot, and when his tongue sl
ips easily through the front of my lips, colliding with mine, it feels like my body is zapped to life. I lose all conscious thought and focus on only him and the expert way his tongue moves. His hand gently grips my chin to tilt my head back, creating deeper access for his mouth. I whimper in reaction, and there’s no time to be embarrassed because I’m too caught up in this kiss—too caught up in him.
His body suddenly presses fully against mine, eliminating any space between us. The feel of his weight on top of me isn’t suffocating or uncomfortable, it’s sensual and seamless. I close my eyes tight, hands pressing against his shoulders to pull his body even more against mine.
It’s when one of his hands skims the edge of my sweater, slowly lifting it up, his fingertips grazing the side of my hip, that I gasp and pull my lips from his abruptly as a cold bucket of reality washes over me.
“Wait,” I rasp, voice deep with lust and affection. “My door is wide open, and my parents are home.”
“Shoot, I’m sorry.” He lifts his body from mine and sits beside me, running a hand over his face. “I wasn’t thinking.”
“I liked it, now just isn’t the time or place,” I admit softly, cheeks heating as his eyes roam my body, which I’m sure is a mess because sometime during that kiss, my scrunchie ended up under my bed.
He gives me a shy smile, the red of his now swollen lips standing out against the whiteness of his teeth. My own lips tingle from his kiss, and I trace them with my fingertips, the heat of him still lingering against my skin. Each spot his body touched feels like it’s been set on fire.
And then I remember that he asked for a secret, and I have one, something a girlfriend should share with their boyfriend. My fingertips move from my lips down to the cross pendant that hangs from my neck, which touches my chest whenever I move. I grip it between my thumb and index finger, clearing my throat to stall this confession.
“Actually, there’s something you should know,” I say quietly, eyes catching his. They crinkle in confusion, still glazed from what we just did. “You asked me for a secret, and I have one. But it’s not a secret so much as something that’s really just no one else’s business, ya know?”
“Take a breath, Dev, it’s okay,” he says, voice unsteady. “What’s your secret?”
I take a deep breath before releasing it slowly, my confession coming out with it. “I’m saving myself for marriage. Since I was a little girl, I’ve vowed to wait for the man that I’ll spend the rest of my life with.”
He stares at me, blinking slowly, seemingly unfazed by my words. And then he sighs, eyes turning apologetic. “Dev, I’m sorry for taking it a little too far just then.”
“No, no,” I say, shaking my head. “You didn’t take it too far at all. It was just right, I just thought you should know because to a lot of guys this is important. At least, that’s what I hear. I don’t exactly have a lot of experience with this stuff.”
“Neither do I,” Jules shares quietly. “Judging by the look on your face, you don’t believe me. But it’s true. Sure, I’ve talked to a lot of girls and shared some kisses and touches, but none of them have ever come close to what I feel when I’m with you. Everything means so much more.”
“Really?” I practically squeak, breathing in and out slowly to calm my overzealous heart.
“Yes, really.” He smiles at me, his hand reaching out to grasp mine. “I’m not saving myself for marriage per se, but I did vow to myself a long time ago to save myself for the right girl.”
“Wait.” I shake my head, realization setting in. “So, you’ve never…ya know?”
“No, I’ve never,” he confirms, sounding proud of himself. And in a weird way, I’m proud of him too.
“Wow, that’s really—” I start to say before I’m interrupted by an obnoxious, overly dramatic knock on my open bedroom door.
I glance up to see my dad standing just outside my room, a grim-looking gaze contorting his features. “Devon, who is your friend?”
I bite back laughter, not missing the way my dad’s voice deepens when he says that, which is the opposite of his standard easygoing demeanor.
“Dad, why are you actively trying to sound like Liam Neeson or something right now?” I ask, laughing at his not-quite-intimidating stance. He’s just too big of a softy who’s incapable of whatever he’s trying to do right now.
His body deflates, his posture returning to its normal, carefree self. “I was trying to intimidate the young man, but you had to go and ruin it.”
I cackle then, shaking my head at his silliness. “I didn’t ruin anything, you did that on your own, Dad. Now will you please just introduce yourself to Julian and make this whole exchange just a little bit less awkward, please?”
“Alright, alright,” my dad says, waving me off with his hand before walking farther into my room toward Jules, who stands quickly and places his hand in my dad’s outstretched one, shaking it. “Nice to meet you, Julian, feel free to call me sir.”
His tone deepens again toward the end, and I roll my eyes, laughing. “Dad, come on.”
“Fine, fine,” he grumbles, letting go of Julian’s hand. “You can call me Seth.”
Jules chuckles, taking everything in stride. “It’s nice to meet you too. Thank you for letting me come over on such an important day.”
“Yeah, well, I had no choice, I was taking my nap,” my dad grumbles again, throwing a wink my way.
“Dad, you’re impossible, goodbye,” I tell him, shooing him out of my room with flailing arms.
Dad just barks out a laugh and gives me a thumbs-up as he leaves my room, clearly pleased with himself. Typical.
Jules turns to face me, a full-blown smile lighting up his handsome features. “I like him, he’s awesome.”
“Oh, so you weren’t the least bit intimidated?” I joke.
“Of course I was, so if he ever asks, go ahead and tell him how afraid of him I am,” he says with a laugh, reaching for me and pulling me into a quick, tight hug.
“You’re insane,” I mumble against his chest.
And it’s true, he is. But in the best of ways. Today has been a lot, full of surprises and truths and thanks, and I’ve never been happier than I am right now.
I never thought I’d credit someone else so much for my own happiness, but Jules makes me feel unbelievably giddy, like the reason the sun rises every morning is because he’s here for it to happen.
Bleh. Gross, Dev, gross. I mentally chastise myself, realizing just how far I’ve fallen for this guy.
Twenty-One
It’s lunchtime on a rainy day in December when Erin approaches me and Jules in the library like a woman on a mission.
“I need you both to do me a huge favor,” she whisper-shouts as she gets closer, joining us where we sit on the floor.
We both look at each other, concerned at what her request will be because knowing her it could be anything, and then return our attention back to my best friend.
“Okay, what is it? Is it at least legal?” I ask, dropping my voice an octave below a whisper.
Erin huffs and reaches out to pinch my arm. I gasp, eyes widening as I stick my tongue out at her.
“Of course it’s legal, I wouldn’t come to Mr. Golden Boy here with something that required him to get his hands dirty,” she says passionately before offering him a sheepish smile. “I mean, no offense, obviously. You’re just, ya know, a good person and all that.”
He just shakes his head, arms crossing over his chest, silenting encouraging her to get on with it.
I do the same, except a lot less silent. “Can you please get on with this favor you need from us?”
“Oh, right, yeah.” She shakes her head, sighing dramatically. “I need you two to go on a double date with me, preferably ice skating because it’s December and it fits the winter theme.”
“You want us to be your buffers while you try to charm some girl with your ice skills?” I ask dubiously.
“Uh, no, not exactly,” she says slowly, hands twis
ting in her lap nervously, which is so unlike my best friend that the smile from my face drops.
“Well, what is it, Erin?” I ask softly, concerned.
“I want you two to act as buffers while I try to charm Braxton, not some girl,” she word-vomits so quickly that I nearly ask her to say it again.
“You want to go out with Braxton?” I ask, genuinely surprised by her revelation because this is the first time I’ve ever heard her express any sort of interest in him.
“Yes,” she says sternly, shrugging. “There was a moment at one of the parties recently, and I had a little flutter, so I want to see where it goes.”
I have no reason not to believe her, so I just nod, agreeing to the double date. “Yeah, okay, of course. I’m sure Jules can set it up if you haven’t already.”
“Would you?” she directs at Jules, whose surprise is clear on his face.
“Uh, yeah,” he clears his throat. “I can make that happen. I’ll give you the details later.”
“You two are the absolute best!” Erin claps her hands, smiling, though it’s more devious than anything else, which leaves me more confused than before. “Okay, great, just let me know. It’s going to be so much fun!”
When she all but runs out of the library, I turn to Jules and laugh uncomfortably. “Well, this will be interesting.”
“It’ll be something, that’s for sure.” He laughs. “The good news is that I don’t think Brax will put up any resistance. He’s usually down for stuff like this. Plus he’s been wanting to spend time with the girl who’s stolen his best friend from him.”
“I have not stolen you away,” I start to argue but then realize he may be right. “Or if I have, then it definitely hasn’t been intentional. With football season being over and you having more free time, I didn’t piece together that you two would be spending less time together.”
Jules laughs, wrapping his arm around my shoulder in a one-arm hug. “Dev, it’s all good. He’s a big boy, and you’re not stealing me away, I’m willingly handing myself over to you. But ice skating sounds fun.”
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