Starstruck (Lovestruck Book 4)

by Rachel Schurig

  Lola dropped me off at the house without offering more advice. “Thanks for the drink, Lola,” I told her, once we were in front of the house. “And thanks for coming all this way.”

  “I wouldn’t do it for anyone else but him, Sofie. I hope you understand what that says about him.”

  “I do.”

  “Good luck with the custody situation.”

  “Thank you.”

  I climbed out of the car, watching as she drove off down the street. I still had no idea what to do about Jackson, but her words seemed to have taken on a life of their own, chewing away at the doubt in my heart and my mind. I was feeling even more confused than I had that morning.

  One thing was certain—I needed to talk to my parents. I had kept this secret long enough. And Lola had been absolutely right—they weren’t the kind of parents who would stand for this sort of thing. It shouldn’t have taken a conversation with a near stranger to remind me of that.

  I looked up at the house and my stomach dropped when I recognized Carla’s car parked behind my dad’s. I had hoped to talk to my parents first, before everyone else started sticking their opinions in. She’ll find out eventually, I told myself, taking a deep breath and heading for the door.

  I found them all in the kitchen, sitting around the table. They must have just finished lunch. Carla was holding Beth, and her daughter Gloria was hanging off my dad. They were all laughing.

  Until they looked up and saw me in the doorway.

  “Sofie?” my mom asked, the smile leaving her face abruptly. “Mija, what’s wrong.”

  I stepped into the kitchen, joining them. “There’s something I need to tell you.”

  Chapter Twenty-four

  My parents didn’t react in the way I thought they would. On one hand, my mother did cry, but she assured me that was more because I hadn’t felt like I could confide in her.

  “I was so ashamed of myself,” I told her when she pulled me into a hug. And then I was crying, too, even though I never cry, and she was rubbing my back and calling me angelito, and I suddenly knew I wasn’t just talking about Jim anymore.

  “I’m so sorry I did that to you and Daddy,” I sobbed. “I know how disappointed you were that I got pregnant.”

  I hadn’t let myself admit to that guilt, not ever. I had been too angry at them, too angry at myself. Too determined that Beth would never feel regretted. But there was still a part of me, the little girl part, that felt absolutely terrible for disappointing my parents.

  “Sofia,” she said, her voice very firm now, all traces of tears gone. It was strange—she was usually the emotional one while I rolled my eyes behind her back. “I have never been disappointed in you a day in my life.”

  “You don’t have to say that.”

  “I have also never lied to you, so you know that I’m telling you the truth.” She pulled back so she could cradle my face, looking deep into my eyes, the eyes that mirrored her own nearly exactly. “I know that we argue about the best way sometimes, mija. I think that’s only because we come from different times. But I have never been anything but proud of you, even when you disagreed with me. Do you understand?”

  I nodded, letting her kiss my cheeks.

  “You’ve been a wonderful mother to Beth,” my dad said, moving to sit on my other side so he could rub my back. “We are so proud of you both.”

  “You shouldn’t be!” I cried. “Look at the mess I’ve made with Jim.”

  “That is not your fault,” my dad said, his voice low and full of some emotion I had never heard in him before. “I just wish you would have told me sooner so I could protect you.”

  I shook my head, pulling away. “I don’t know what to do.”

  “Well, first of all, that boy is never setting foot in this house again.” His voice was so sharp, it would have been impossible to argue with him even if I wanted to.

  “That will probably only make him angrier.”

  “Let him get angry. That will give us something to show to the judge.”

  At the mention of a judge, my heart sank. We were going to have to go to court. “We’ll get a lawyer,” my dad was saying. “I’ll start calling people now.”

  “Lawyers are so expensive,” I moaned. “You can’t use your savings.”

  “What else is it there for?”

  “Your retirement, Daddy.”

  When my father went to argue, Carla interrupted, speaking for the first time since I came home. “Have you called Lizzie?”

  I was unsure of what I might see in my sister’s face. Would she be hurt that I hadn’t confided in her months ago? But when I looked up, all I could see was a determined fierceness. We are not going to let this happen.

  I shook my head.

  “Call her. Lizzie and Thomas have money.”

  My eyes darted to my parents. Our entire life, they had taught us the importance of being self-sufficient, of providing for yourself. But they were both nodding, that same fierce look on their faces. “They’ll be able to afford a much better lawyer than we could,” my dad agreed.

  And that’s when I got it. It didn’t matter if we had to take money from Thomas. All that mattered was keeping Beth safe.

  I managed to get through the phone call with my cousin without crying once, though I did waver a bit when she told me she was coming home immediately. “You don’t have to,” I argued. “Your book tour is starting soon. You should spend this time with Thomas.”

  “Thomas will come, too,” she said. “End of story, chica. We’ll be there as soon as we can.”

  “Thank you,” I whispered, my voice finally cracking.

  We spent the next few days researching lawyers and custody law on the Internet. I felt completely sick. How could this be real? When I wasn’t frantically researching, I would hold Beth close to me for long stretches of time, wishing I hadn’t put her into this mess.

  And in spite of it all, I missed Jackson. I kept running Lola’s words over and over in my mind, that I should just talk to him. Maybe when he gets back from the audition, I told myself. If he decided to come back from the audition.

  “You should get some work done,” my mom told me on Wednesday. “Don’t you have a list of things to do?”

  I didn’t want to tell her that I had finished everything that could be done remotely. The rest of the tasks that Erin had sent were things I would have to do at the condo. And I wasn’t sure I could handle going back there.

  On the other hand…my mother’s constant sniffling about the custody suit was starting to grate on me. I had barely left the house all week. “Will you watch Bethy?” I asked. And that, of course, set off her crying again.

  Okay, so maybe the condo wouldn’t be so bad.

  I felt strange as I pulled out my keys to open the door. It felt like I’d been living in another life when I had been there last. Everything looked exactly the way that I remembered it, neat and orderly. There was a faint scent of vanilla in the air, and I wondered, with a pang, whether he had been burning the candles I bought before he left.

  I found what I needed on the desk upstairs. A stack of his headshots and the signature stamp—a specially made rubber stamp of Jackson’s signature. He got such a massive number of requests for his signature that there was no way he could keep up by hand. I had spent many hours, since he’d hired me, stamping hundreds of copies of his picture and sending them off to fans around the world.

  Now, of course, all I could think was how beautiful he looked in that picture. It was black and white, so I couldn’t see the bright blue of his eyes or the startling gold of his hair. But he was smiling that superstar smile, and my heart ached at the memory of it.

  “May as well get this over with,” I muttered, making my way back down the stairs. As I stepped into the living room, the front door swung open.

  Jackson.

  I screamed and dropped the stack of photos, sending them flying all over the room. “What are you doing here?”

  “I live here! What are you do
ing here?”

  “I’m working!”

  I placed a hand over my heart, gripping the banister with the other, trying to pull my wits together. Jackson was home.

  “I’m sorry I scared you,” he said, his voice cautious as he approached me. “I wasn’t expecting you to be here.”

  “It’s okay. Erin asked me to get the next round of headshots out.”

  “You don’t have to worry about that now.”

  My stomach dropped. Did that mean that I was fired? I supposed it didn’t matter. Under the best of circumstances, he’d be leaving Detroit in two weeks, anyhow.

  Jackson pulled his computer from his bag and placed it on the coffee table. “There’s more important stuff to do right now.”

  For a brief moment, I wondered if he was going to ask me to complete some kind of exit interview. “Like what?”

  He looked up at me like I was crazy. “I have some information from my lawyers that I want you to look over. And then we should call the PI they have going after Jim. I gave him as much information as I could, but he wants to talk to you.”

  “Hang on.” I walked over to the couch. “What are you talking about?”

  “I’m talking about the custody suit, what do you think?” He went back to the computer while I gapped at him, mouth open. “I got my lawyers working on it straight away, but I’ve been on a plane for the last twenty hours. I called in the car on the way over and—”

  “Jackson.”

  He looked up at me, and for the first time, I could see how tired he looked. “We need to move quickly, Sofie. Especially on the PI. We want to make sure he gets as much information as he can.”

  “You hired a private investigator?”

  “Of course. The lawyers thought it was best. If Jim is violent, there’s evidence of it out there somewhere. Maybe an ex-girlfriend, hell, a criminal record. Whatever we can present to the judge.”

  “You hired a private investigator.”

  “Sofie, what’s wrong with you? I just told—”

  “But why? Why are helping me? I was terrible to you.”

  His face cleared a little. “Oh. Well, Lola told me what happened with Jim. And then Lizzie called me and told me how upset you were. I was already on my way to the airport by then.”

  There were too many new pieces of information rushing through my head. Jackson was here. He had hired a private investigator. He seemed to know all about Jim. Lizzie had called him.

  That was the fact that I clung to. “Lizzie called you?”

  He nodded. “She wanted to make sure I knew about the custody suit. But like I said, Lola had already called me, so I was on my way home.”

  My cousin had called him. Because she knew, if I was going through something so terrible, that I would need Jackson.

  And he was already on his way home—here.

  I put my hands over my eyes, crying for what felt like the millionth time in the last few days.

  “Hey.” He was up off the couch in an instant and pulling me into a hug, his voice soothing. “It’s going to be fine, Sofie. My lawyers are supremely confident. We’re not going to let him take Beth away. I promise.”

  “You came home,” I sobbed, and he pulled away so he could look at my face. Again, he looked confused.

  “Of course I came home. You needed me.”

  “But…I told you I changed my mind. I told you I didn’t trust you. Why would you go to so much trouble for me?”

  He held my gaze for a long time, eyes searching mine in that familiar way. “Do you really not know?” he whispered. “Sofie. I love you.”

  I could barely breathe, could barely put my spinning thoughts into coherent order. Jackson had come back to help me. Because he loved me. I was so overwhelmed, it took me a moment to realize that he was still talking.

  “I’m not going to let anyone hurt you, love. And I’m certainly not going to let anyone hurt Beth.” His face fell slightly. “Even if you decide that you don’t…feel the same way. I’m still going to be here for you. We’ll figure this out, I promise. My lawyers are very competent. Best that money can buy.”

  I couldn’t think of a single word to say to him. How could I thank him for this? How could I tell him what it meant to me, what he meant to me? The only thing I could think to do was to press my lips against his.

  His hands immediately came up to my face, cradling it the way he had done before. He sighed softly against my mouth, and I thought there might have been relief in the noise. I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him closer, and finally, he brought his hands down from my face to pull my body close to his. For the first time in days, I felt safe.

  At that moment, I knew exactly what to say to him. The most obvious thing. “I love you,” I whispered against his mouth. “I always have.”

  I could feel his lips curve up into that smile I loved so much, and I felt a thrill of excitement. This was Jackson. Jackson who I had watched on movie screens for years. Jackson, who was so much better in person. Kinder. Funnier. Even more beautiful, inside and out. He was here in my arms, and he loved me.

  “I’m so glad you came back,” I whispered, leaning into him, feeling the stress of the last few days finally catch up with me. I was exhausted.

  “Me, too. I can’t tell you how torturous it was to be so far away when Lola called.” His face turned very grim. “You see? This is why Australia is such a bad idea. A twenty-hour flight to get to you? No thank you.”

  “So you’re not going to take the role?”

  “I never wanted to.”

  I hung my head, remembering Lola’s words. “I’m sorry I said you should. It was your choice, and I shouldn’t have—”

  He cut me off with another kiss. “Can I tell you what my perfect choice is?”

  “Sure.”

  He spun me around once, making me laugh, before bringing his forehead down to touch mine so that we were eye-to-eye. “I was thinking a nice little brownstone in New York. We can hang out in the park and go to all the best restaurants and see the ballet as many times as you want.” I giggled. “I can work on the show—it’s actually a really good show. Erin doesn’t know what she’s talking about. You can go to university. Beth can grow up eating hot dogs from food carts.”

  My eyes filled with tears again. “Jackson.”

  “You told me to be real, yeah? That’s the most real—the most perfect—life I can possibly imagine. And I know it might not happen overnight, but I can be patient, Sofie. I’m in this for the long haul.”

  I had told him once that I wasn’t sure what I wanted from my life. That there had never been one career dream or one goal that I’d had to hold onto. We had sat right there on the couch and mapped out the little desires of our hearts, but I had still felt like I was missing that one big thing. That one wish that would help me draw the picture of my future.

  In one fell swoop, Jackson had given it to me. I could see now exactly what I wanted my life to be. And Jackson was at the center of it, right along with Beth.

  “That sounds perfect,” I whispered, moving in to kiss him again. “That sounds better than perfect—it sounds real.”

  Chapter Twenty-five

  Six months later

  “You’re going to be late.”

  I looked up from the mess on my desk to see my co-worker, Rosa, sticking her head through the open door into my office.

  “I know, I know.” I rummaged through the stack of papers. “I can’t find my planner.”

  “What in the hell do you need your planner for? Girl, there is an entire hair and makeup team waiting for you. You can find the planner on Monday.”

  “I wanted to check in with some of my clients while I’m out of the office.”

  Rosa stepped fully into my office—more like a closet, in all honesty—to place both hands on my desk and lean forward. “Sofie. There is couture waiting at your home.”

  As if to emphasize her point, my cell phone buzzed with an incoming text. I glanced at the screen, unable to
hide my smile when Jackson’s face appeared next to his message. I told you that you would be late.

  “Is that him?” Rosa asked, her voice more than a little wistful. “Of course it is. Look at your face.”

  I didn’t bother to deny my expression. So what if I got a little gooey when I talked to Jackson? Who in the world could blame me?

  I’m not late yet, I texted back.

  Before I could set the phone down to resume my search, it buzzed again, this time with an incoming call.

  “Why doesn’t anyone believe me?” I muttered, jabbing at the answer key as I brought the phone up to my ear. “I am not going to be late.”

  “Of course you’re going to be late,” Jackson said, and I allowed myself a moment to marvel at the velvety smoothness of his voice. It never got old. “You haven’t even left yet, have you?”

  “I am on my way out the door this minute,” I lied, trying to ignore Rosa shaking her head in my peripheral vision.

  “Well, go back in and relax for a minute then. I have a car on the way. They’ll be there in five minutes.”

  “Jackson! I am perfectly capable of taking the subway—”

  “I know you are, love. But I sent a car, anyway. Because I knew you were going to be late. Stop rolling your eyes.” I had been about to roll my eyes. It was uncanny the way he could do that. “And enjoy the nice, comfy car whisking you home to me.”

  Well, when he put it like that.

  “I’ll see you soon,” I said, hanging up the phone. I looked up to see Rosa still watching me, her expression even more wistful than before. “He’s sending a car,” I explained.

  “Of course he is. I have told you that you’re the luckiest person in the world, right?”

  I nodded. “A few times, yes. Don’t worry—I completely agree.”

  Our co-worker, Dustin, appeared behind her. “Sof, is this yours?” He held up a hot pink, leather-bound planner. “I found it in the meeting room.”

  “Yes! Thank you. I’ve been looking for it everywhere.” Of course now that it was here, I clearly remembered having it in the meeting room with my clients, the Hernandez family.