Fate's Surrender (Eternal Sorrows Book 3)

by Sarra Cannon

  He wondered if there was anyone left who was actually still checking this stuff, anymore. Was there any form of government left in the world?

  “I should be able to pull up images from earlier today when it was still light outside. I’m also pulling up any surveillance cameras I can find close to where David lives. What are you looking at over there?”

  “These pictures all seem so ridiculous now,” she said softly, turning another page. “And to think so many of us spent our lives thinking about the perfect outfit to wear for an Instagram photo.”

  “Yeah. I really wish I hadn’t wasted so much time on my modeling career,” he said.

  She rolled her eyes. “You know what I mean,” she said. “A year ago, the person who lived here might have been stressed out for weeks trying to pick the perfect thousand-dollar lamp for that corner.”

  She waved at some lamp he hadn’t even noticed the whole time they’d been here.

  Now that she mentioned it, though, it was exactly the kind of lamp he imagined rich people spent their time stressing over. It was weird enough to be cool.

  “What a waste of a perfectly good life,” she said, closing the book with a thump.

  “Not a waste,” he said, trying his best to concentrate on the satellite work but finding himself much more interested in the fact that he was alone with the most beautiful girl he’d ever seen in a mansion on the beach.

  Not someplace he’d ever expected to be, but definitely not a waste of a life. Not for him, anyway.

  She stood and motioned to the windows and view outside where the moonlight reflected on the water.

  “I mean, how much time do you think the people who owned this house even spent here?” she asked. “It doesn’t really look lived in, does it? More like a vacation home, if I had to guess. Or something they rented out.”

  He shrugged. He’d never had the money to even dream of buying or renting a place like this, so he had no idea.

  “And yet, how many hours did they have to work to afford this place? How much time did they spend worrying over keeping it perfect.”

  “Who?” he asked. She was talking like she knew these people.

  “I don’t know,” she said. She grabbed a picture frame off a side table near the door and shoved it at him. “These people. They don’t even look happy.”

  Crash studied the couple in the photo, immediately recognizing the woman from the corpse now face-down in the bedroom just a few steps away.

  Karmen was right.

  They were both smiling in the picture, but neither of them looked happy. They looked like a typical couple going through the motions, living their lives the way everyone expected them to.

  “All of this, and they look like they were bored with each other,” she said. “If I could, I’d go back in time and tell them they were wasting the one thing that should have mattered more than money.”

  “What’s that?” he asked, curious to hear what she would say.

  She shrugged and met his eyes. “Time. Life. I don’t know. But whatever it was, they were wasting it.”

  “I guess we all were,” Crash said. “What’s that saying? You don’t know what you got till it’s gone.”

  She smiled, and her eyes lit up from the inside.

  “See, you get me,” she said. “I’ve never had anyone get me before.”

  “Me either,” he said. “Not really.”

  His work with the satellites was completely forgotten now, and even though it was important, so was this. He could look at the river and the maps in the morning, but he might never have another chance to be with her like this again.

  “Do you want to sit out by the pool for a little while?” he asked, his voice catching a little with nerves.

  He’d really only ever dated a handful of girls before, and those were mostly girls he’d met online and hung out with a few times. None of them had ever gotten serious, and for the most part, he’d lost interest pretty quickly.

  Karmen was different, and it wasn’t just because he’d known her before in some other lifetime. He liked her in this lifetime.

  “Sure,” she said. “Do you think it’s safe?”

  “Should be,” he said. “There’s a fence around this whole house, and I haven’t seen any rotters around since we got here.”

  He focused his attention on the lights inside the pool, and they blinked on. It was a beautiful effect, like a greenish-blue lagoon. If the people who’d lived here wasted part of their lives trying to make their pool look perfect, at least someone was left to enjoy it.

  Before they walked outside, Crash grabbed his gun, just in case, but he had a feeling they were going to be okay out there.

  Karmen was barefoot as she walked outside. She dipped her toes in the water and shivered. There was a light breeze out here tonight, and the temperature had dropped some since the sun went down.

  It wasn’t cold, exactly, but it was perfect snuggle weather.

  “Damn,” she said, pulling her arms tightly around her middle. “I was hoping to put my feet in for a while.”

  “Hold on a second,” he said, connecting with the tech inside the pool to see if there was a heating unit.

  He would have bet money on there being one, since it would have been dumb to spend millions on a house like this in New Jersey without springing for a heated pool.

  It was there, of course, so he switched it on.

  “Heated pool. Give it a few minutes, and it’ll warm right up,” he said. “Hang on.”

  He ran back into the house and grabbed a blanket off the couch. He put it around Karmen’s shoulders, and for a moment, as she lifted her hand to secure it around her body, their fingers touched.

  She hadn’t pulled away, either, and the way her eyes met his for a long moment made his stomach flip and his heart race.

  While they waited for the water to heat up, they sat down on the L-shaped couch by the pool.

  “I bet you spent a lot of time in places like this,” he said.

  She laughed and shook her head. “Never. I mean, my family went on vacation to the beach a few times, but we never could have gotten a place like this, are you crazy?”

  “I see you in places like this,” he said. “Like you belong here.”

  She looked around. “I dreamed of this all my life. Of being the woman in that photo, you know? I thought having a house like this or being married to the right kind of guy would make all the difference,” she said. “But mostly, I just wanted to get out of my house and away from my dad. I was counting down the days til senior year and then graduation. Now, looking back, I don’t know that I would have made it another year in that house without losing my mind.”

  “It was that bad?” he asked.

  He didn’t want to press her on this particular topic. He was pretty sure he already understood the kind of guy Karmen’s dad had been. The types of things he’d done to her.

  Whenever he thought of it, he wanted to pick up his machine gun and go looking for the dude. Even if he was already dead, Crash wanted to kill him again.

  “There aren’t words for how bad it was,” she said, her voice hitching slightly. “But you don’t want to hear about all that.”

  He wanted to change the subject, to protect her, but he wondered if she somehow needed to let it out and talk about it for once.

  “I want to hear about whatever you want to tell me,” he said, turning toward her. “Maybe we’ll find out we have more in common than we thought.”

  “How so?” she asked, carefully wiping a finger across her cheek.

  “My dad was a piece of shit, too,” he said. “He used to beat my mom. She’d go into the hospital and swear she was never coming back. But then, he always convinced her to come home or held something over her head until she felt like she had no choice, like she was some kind of prisoner. He liked to toss me around a bit, too, and I have no doubt it would have gotten a lot worse if Mom hadn’t finally gotten me out of there.”

  “She sounds like
a very strong woman,” Karmen said.

  “She was incredible,” he said, closing his eyes and picturing the way she used to read to him every night and push his hair behind his ears just before she kissed his forehead. “Losing her was the worst thing that ever happened to me.”

  “You were lucky to have someone who loved you like that,” she said.

  “Everyone deserves to be loved like that,” he said.

  Tears glistened in her eyes, and she reached for his hand, snuggling up next to him.

  This whole time, he’d looked at Karmen like she was stuck up or too good for him. Like she’d never go for a guy like him because he wasn’t worthy of her.

  But now, in the light of the moon here by the water, he saw her for what she truly was.

  A girl who had never once believed she deserved love, yet who needed it more than most.

  She wasn’t angry or mean or rude. She was just guarded to an extreme, and for good reason. The truth behind those walls she’d built was scary and almost unbelievable. Not the kind of thing you’d have thought a beautiful, rich cheerleader from the perfect preppy neighborhood would have gone through.

  He wanted nothing more than to pull her into his arms and take it all away.

  Since he couldn’t change the past, though, and nearly everything about their future was uncertain, he did the one thing he knew he could do to help.

  He put his arm around her and pulled her closer, no longer afraid to make a move or scared she’d reject him.

  Talk about a waste of a life, he thought. Well, he wasn’t going to waste another second.

  “Tell me about your favorite books,” he said. “I saw the way you were eyeing my copy of The Catcher in the Rye. You’re a reader like me. So, spill it. Your favorite author, favorite books, favorite characters you would change places with if you could. Tell me everything.”

  She leaned forward and looked at him skeptically.

  “Seriously? We’re out here under the moon, sharing our deepest secrets, and you want to hear about my book collection?” she asked.

  “Yes, I do,” he said. “We’ve got a few hours until Noah takes over the next watch, and if you’re as wide awake as I am, I can’t think of any better way to spend it than right here with you, talking about our favorite things. I have a feeling we have more in common than we thought.”

  “Wow, my favorite,” she said. “Are you sure you’re up for this, because I don’t think there’s any way I could possibly pick just one. This could take a while.”

  “I’ve got all night,” he said.

  Their eyes locked, and he saw something there he’d never seen before.

  Trust.

  A slow smile spread across her beautiful face, and she lay back against him, finally relaxing as she put a hand on his chest.

  “Okay,” she said. “So let’s start with this fantasy series called The Wheel of Time. Have you ever read it?”

  “What do I look like?” he asked. “An amateur?”

  She laughed, and for the next five hours, they lay there together talking, the heated pool and the state of the world long forgotten, if just for a little while.

  Twenty-Five

  Karmen

  Despite all she had been through, Karmen was happy to find the beach could still raise her spirits. She awoke feeling refreshed.

  And thinking about Crash.

  It had to have been around three in the morning when Noah had found them out by the pool, their bodies tangled together, laughing and talking about things she’d never been free to share with anyone.

  He had made all her exhaustion disappear, like she could have stayed up all night talking.

  There had been a part of her that wanted to invite him to come back to her room to sleep, if only so they could stay tangled up the way they had been for hours.

  But in the end, she’d been too embarrassed.

  Or too scared of where things might go.

  It wasn’t like they could really date each other during the apocalypse, and she didn’t want to fall for him only to watch him die.

  But she didn’t want to think about that this morning.

  She’d slept for a full five hours without having to take anything and without having any bad dreams, and she’d woken up to the sound and sight of the ocean. She couldn’t have asked for anything more, so when a familiar smell greeted her as she walked into the kitchen, it nearly brought tears to her eyes.

  The house they were staying in didn’t have power, but there on the kitchen counter, she found a fresh pot of coffee already brewed and waiting for her.

  Crash had to have done this, but where was he now?

  She beamed but then looked around to make sure no one was watching.

  She didn’t want it going to his head or anything.

  There was no sign of him in the kitchen or living room, so she allowed herself to bask in the joy of actual gourmet coffee, freshly brewed and piping hot.

  Mug in hand, she wandered around the empty rooms, taking in the beautiful decor now that it was light enough outside to see it all, and looking for anything they might find useful on their trip.

  She couldn’t remember the last time she’d been in such a good mood.

  What she found in the hall closet put her in an even better mood.

  She even felt inspired, for the first time since they’d been quarantined at Noah’s house, to get creative and make breakfast for everyone. Ingredients were limited, since there was nothing fresh or cold, but she found enough stuff in the pantry to make it work.

  “Time to wake up, sleepy heads,” she called, throwing open the door of the master bedroom on the second floor. Her cheery tone surprised even her. “Come on, the sun's up, and we're at the beach!”

  A pillow flew toward the door and smacked her in the hip, but she wasn't going to let anything bring her down today.

  “There's fresh coffee and breakfast,” she said, knowing the food was her secret weapon. She didn’t even need to use her magical mind powers to manipulate them. Their stomachs did it for her.

  Within minutes, the entire group was sitting at the kitchen table eating fresh cinnamon rolls dripping with cream cheese icing and staring out at the beautiful sunny day outside.

  “I have no idea how you did this without a fridge, but I’m not complaining,” Noah said. “This is incredible.”

  Karmen beamed. She had spent a lot of time growing up just playing around in the kitchen as a way to escape. She knew enough about how to bake to come up with some substitutes here and there.

  “I was lucky to find some cream cheese icing in the pantry,” she said.

  She’d also found applesauce, flour, sugar, and yeast. It was hard to make a perfect cinnamon roll without butter, eggs, or milk, but she’d done a pretty good job overall with what she had available.

  “I couldn’t have done it without Crash turning on the power in the kitchen, though,” she said. “Thanks for that.”

  She held up her second cup of coffee in a kind of salute. It was truly delicious. Hazelnut, her favorite.

  Karmen savored it, not knowing when she might ever get another cup of coffee like this again.

  Everything she'd ever taken for granted was now a luxury with a ticking clock.

  At the table, the others discussed their next move.

  “When we get the go-ahead from David, we travel up the coast,” Crash said, showing them what he’d discovered last night from the satellites. “Getting up to the bay won’t be an issue, but here’s where it all gets tricky.”

  Karmen zoned out and chose to watch the ocean, instead.

  She wished more than anything they could just stay here at the beach. They’d only seen a handful of undead since they got to this little seaside town. The houses here were all fully stocked and gorgeous.

  There were worse ways to spend the rest of your life.

  It wasn’t an option, of course. At least not right now, but what about after all this was over? What if they somehow managed to d
efeat the Dark One, and like the boy said last night, the virus was over?

  There were still survivors who could rebuild this world.

  Maybe someday, she and Crash could come back to this house and—

  She cut off all her own stupid daydream thoughts and turned back to the conversation of routes and maps and rotters.

  When there was a short break in the discussion, though, she seized the opportunity to speak.

  “I know you guys are all anxious to make the plans and work it all out, but you're ignoring one important thing.” They all looked at her questioningly. “Our sanity.”

  “I’m pretty sure you lost yours a long time ago,” Parrish said, laughing.

  “Very funny, but I'm talking about all of us. Our mental health is not something we should ignore.”

  “Karmen, what are you talking about?” Parrish looked annoyed. “Just tell us what you want, because I know this is leading up to something.”

  “I'm trying to get a point across,” Karmen said, walking toward the big windows. “We’ve all been super stressed with the fighting and near-death experiences the past few days. We can’t just waltz into a city like New York without taking a little break from the death stuff for a little while.”

  “Just spit it out,” Parrish said, dropping her head into her hands.

  Karmen smiled.

  “I think we should put on some bathing suits and go out to the beach for a few hours,” she said. “It’s a warm day, it’s sunny and beautiful, and we could all use a bit of fun for a change.”

  There was a short beat of silence as everyone contemplated Karmen's idea. She knew they were tempted. They all needed a little release that didn't include shooting guns or worrying about zombies hiding behind a clothes rack.

  “We still have to find a boat and get things ready,” Parrish said. “There’s a lot of work to do.”

  “We’ve got time,” Crash said. “I don’t think we’ll be heading into the city for at least two or three days.”

  Noah walked over and put his hands on Parrish's shoulders. “Maybe it's not such a bad idea,” he said. “It is a beautiful day, and we can’t really make any big decisions about the plan until we hear from David and Zoe.”