The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated)

by William Shakespeare

  and I will answer without thinking;

  you can test my bravery through single combat, if you dare,

  and you will find that I am greater than a woman.

  You must know this: you will be lucky,

  if you take me on as your partner in war.

  CHARLES.

  Thou hast astonish'd me with thy high terms;

  Only this proof I 'll of thy valour make,

  In single combat thou shalt buckle with me,

  And if thou vanquishest, thy words are true;

  Otherwise I renounce all confidence.

  You have amazed me with your elevated language;

  I'll just ask for this proof of your bravery,

  that you take me on in single combat,

  and if you win, what you say is true;

  otherwise I won't believe a word.

  PUCELLE.

  I am prepared: here is my keen-edg'd sword,

  Deck'd with five flower-de-luces on each side,

  The which at Touraine, in Saint Katharine's church-yard,

  Out of a great deal of old iron I chose forth.

  I am ready: here is my sharp sword,

  decorated with five fleur-de-lis on each side,

  which I selected from amongst a great deal of old iron

  at Touraine, in Saint Katherine's churchyard.

  CHARLES.

  Then come, o' God's name; I fear no woman.

  Then attack, in the name of God; I'm not afraid of any woman.

  PUCELLE.

  And while I live, I 'll ne'er fly from a man.

  And while I live, I'll never run from any man.

  Here they fight, and Joan La Pucelle overcomes.

  CHARLES.

  Stay, stay thy hands; thou art an Amazon,

  And fightest with the sword of Deborah.

  That's enough; you are an Amazon,

  and you fight with the sword of Deborah.

  PUCELLE.

  Christ's Mother helps me, else I were too weak.

  The mother of Christ helps me, or I could never do this.

  CHARLES.

  Whoe'er helps thee, 'tis thou that must help me:

  Impatiently I burn with thy desire;

  My heart and hands thou hast at once subdued.

  Excellent Pucelle, if thy name be so,

  Let me thy servant and not sovereign be:

  'Tis the French Dauphin sueth to thee thus.

  Whoever is helping you, you must tell me:

  I am burning with desire for you;

  you have conquered my heart and my hands at once.

  Excellent Maid, if that is your name,

  let me be your servant and not your king:

  this is the French Dauphin who begs this from you.

  PUCELLE.

  I must not yield to any rites of love,

  For my profession's sacred from above:

  When I have chased all thy foes from hence,

  Then will I think upon a recompense.

  I must not give into any sort of love,

  for I am a servant of those in heaven:

  when I have driven all your enemies away,

  then I will think of a reward.

  CHARLES.

  Meantime look gracious on thy prostrate thrall.

  In the meantime look favourably on your kneeling worshipper.

  REIGNIER.

  My lord, methinks, is very long in talk.

  My lord seems to be talking for very long time.

  ALENCON.

  Doubtless he shrives this woman to her smock;

  Else ne'er could he so long protract his speech.

  No doubt he's hearing this woman's confession;

  otherwise he could never speak for so long.

  REIGNIER.

  Shall we disturb him, since he keeps no mean?

  Shall we interrupt, since he has no moderation?

  ALENCON.

  He may mean more than we poor men do know:

  These women are shrewd tempters with their tongues.

  He may be up to more than we poor men can know:

  these women can be very tempting with their tongues.

  REIGNIER.

  My lord, where are you? what devise you on?

  Shall we give over Orleans, or no?

  My lord, where are you? What are you planning?

  Shall we give up on Orleans, or not?

  PUCELLE.

  Why, no, I say; distrustful recreants!

  Fight till the last gasp; I will be your guard.

  Why, no, I say; faceless cowards!

  Fight to the last breath; I will protect you.

  CHARLES.

  What she says I'll confirm: we'll fight it out.

  I agree with what she says: we'll fight it out.

  PUCELLE.

  Assign'd am I to be the English scourge.

  This night the siege assuredly I 'll raise:

  Expect Saint Martin's summer, halcyon days,

  Since I have entered into these wars.

  Glory is like a circle in the water,

  Which never ceaseth to enlarge itself

  Till by broad spreading it disperse to nought.

  With Henry's death the English circle ends;

  Dispersed are the glories it included.

  Now am I like that proud insulting ship

  Which Caesar and his fortune bare at once.

  I have been given the task of whipping the English.

  I shall certainly lift the siege tonight:

  expect a late Saint Martin's summer, wonderful days,

  now that I have come into these walls.

  Glory is like the ripples on the water,

  which never ceases to grow bigger,

  until it has spread so far it disappears to nothing.

  With the death of Henry the English ripples end;

  the glories it encompassed are gone.

  Now I am like the proud invading ship

  which carried Caesar and his fate at once.

  CHARLES.

  Was Mahomet inspired with a dove?

  Thou with an eagle art inspired then.

  Helen, the mother of great Constantine,

  Nor yet Saint Philip's daughters, were like thee.

  Bright star of Venus, fall'n down on the earth,

  How may I reverently worship thee enough?

  Was Muhammad inspired by a dove?

  Then you are inspired by an eagle.

  Neither Helen, the mother of great Constantine,

  nor the daughters of Saint Philip, were like you.

  Bright star of Venus, fallen down to earth,

  how can I worship you enough?

  ALENCON.

  Leave off delays, and let us raise the siege.

  No more delay, let us lift the siege.

  REIGNIER.

  Woman, do what thou canst to save our honors;

  Drive them from Orleans and be immortalized.

  Woman, do what you can to save our honour;

  drive them out of Orleans and become famous throughout history.

  CHARLES.

  Presently we 'll try: come, let's away about it:

  No prophet will I trust, if she prove false.

  We'll try at once: come, let's start:

  if she is false I will never trust any prophet.

  [Exeunt.]

  London. Before the Tower.

  [Enter the Duke of Gloucester, with his Serving-men

  in blue coats.]

  GLOUCESTER.

  I come to survey the Tower this day:

  Since Henry's death, I fear, there is conveyance.

  Where be these warders that they wait not here?

  Open the gates; 'tis Gloucester that calls.

  I have come to take inventory at the Tower today:

  I fear that since Henry's death there has been some pilfering.

  Where are those warders who ought to be here?

  Open the gates; it's Gloucester giving the ord
ers.

  FIRST WARDER.

  [Within] Who's there that knocks so imperiously?

  Whose that who knocks so arrogantly?

  FIRST SERVING-MAN.

  It is the noble Duke of Gloucester.

  It is the noble Duke of Gloucester.

  SECOND WARDER.

  [Within] Whoe'er he be, you may not be let in.

  Whoever he is, you can't come in.

  FIRST SERVING-MAN.

  Villains, answer you so the lord protector?

  Villains, is this how you answer the lord protector?

  FIRST WARDER.

  [Within] The Lord protect him! so we answer him:

  We do no otherwise than we are will'd.

  May the lord protect him! That's the answer we give him:

  we're only obeying orders.

  GLOUCESTER.

  Who willed you? or whose will stands but mine?

  There's none protector of the realm but I.

  Break up the gates, I 'll be your warrantize:

  Shall I be flouted thus by dunghill grooms?

  Gloucester's men rush at the Tower Gates, and Woodvile the

  Lieutenant speaks within.

  Whose orders? Who has any power here except me?

  I am the only protector of the kingdom.

  Open the gates, I shall answer for you:

  will I be disobeyed like this by dung shovellers?

  WOODVILE.

  What noise is this? what traitors have we here?

  What’s this noise? What traitors are these?

  GLOUCESTER.

  Lieutenant, is it you whose voice I hear?

  Open the gates; here's Gloucester that would enter.

  Lieutentant, is that you I can hear?

  Open the gates; it’s Gloucester here, and I want to come in.

  WOODVILE.

  Have patience, noble duke; I may not open;

  The Cardinal of Winchester forbids:

  From him I have express commandment

  That thou nor none of thine shall be let in.

  Be patient, noble duke; I cannot open the gates;

  the Cardinal of Winchester has forbidden it:

  I have direct orders from him

  that neither you nor any of your men can be let in.

  GLOUCESTER.

  Faint-hearted Woodvile, prizest him 'fore me?

  Arrogant Winchester, that haughty prelate

  Whom Henry, our late sovereign, ne'er could brook?

  Thou art no friend to God or to the King.

  Open the gates, or I 'll shut thee out shortly.

  Cowardly Woodvile, do you rate him above me?

  Arrogant Winchester, that proud churchman

  whom Henry, our recent King, could never stand?

  You are no friend to God or to the king.

  Open the gates, or I'll make sure you lose your job.

  SERVING-MEN.

  Open the gates unto the lord protector,

  Or we 'll burst them open, if that you come not quickly.

  Open the gates to the lord protector,

  or we'll break them open, if you don't hurry.

  [Enter to the Protector at the Tower Gates Winchester

  and his men in tawny coats.]

  WINCHESTER.

  How now, ambitious Humphry! what means this?

  Hello there, you ambitious umpire, what's the meaning of this?

  GLOUCESTER.

  Peel'd priest, dost thou command me to be shut out?

  You moth-eaten priest, have you ordered me to be shut out?

  WINCHESTER.

  I do, thou most usurping proditor,

  And not protector, of the king or realm.

  I do, you are a rebellious traitor,

  not the protector, of the King or the country.

  GLOUCESTER.

  Stand back, thou manifest conspirator,

  Thou that contrivedst to murder our dead lord;

  Thou that givest whores indulgences to sin:

  I 'll canvass thee in thy broad cardinal's hat,

  If thou proceed in this thy insolence.

  Stand back, you brazen conspirator,

  you who plan to murder our dead king;

  you who give whores permission to sin:

  I'll trap you in your big Cardinal's hat,

  if you carry on with this insolence.

  WINCHESTER.

  Nay, stand thou back; I will not budge a foot:

  This be Damascus, be thou cursed Cain,

  To slay thy brother Abel, if thou wilt.

  No, stand back; I shall not move an inch:

  this is Damascus, you can be damned Cain,

  and kill your brother Abel, if you wish.

  GLOUCESTER.

  I will not slay thee, but I 'll drive thee back:

  Thy scarlet robes as a child's bearing-cloth

  I 'll use to carry thee out of this place.

  I will not kill you, but I'll drive you back:

  I shall use your scarlet robes like a sling

  for a child, and carry you out of this place.

  WINCHESTER.

  Do what thou darest; I beard thee to thy face.

  Try what you dare; I challenge you to your face.

  GLOUCESTER.

  What! am I dared and bearded to my face?

  Draw, men, for all this privileged place;

  Blue coats to tawny coats. Priest, beware your beard;

  I mean to tug it and to cuff you soundly:

  Under my feet I stamp thy cardinal's hat:

  In spite of pope or dignities of church,

  Here by the cheeks I 'll drag thee up and down.

  What! You are daring and challenging me to my face?

  Draw your swords, men, this place has special laws;

  blue coats against brown coats. Priest, watch out for your beard;

  I mean to pull it and give you a good beating:

  I shall stamp your cardinal's hat under my feet:

  disregarding the Pope or the dignity of the church,

  I'll drag you up and down by your cheeks.

  WINCHESTER.

  Gloucester, thou wilt answer this before the

  pope.

  Gloucester, you will answer to the Pope for this.

  GLOUCESTER.

  Winchester goose, I cry, a rope! a rope!

  Now beat them hence; why do you let them stay?

  Thee I 'll chase hence, thou wolf in sheep's array.

  Out, tawny coats! out, scarlet hypocrite!

  Here Gloucester's men beat out the Cardinal's

  men, and enter in the hurly-burly the Mayor of

  London and his Officers.

  You old lech, someone bring me a rope!

  Beat them away; why are they still here?

  I'll chase you out, you wolf in sheep’s clothing.

  Get out, brown coats! Out, you scarlet hypocrite!

  MAYOR.

  Fie, lords! that you, being supreme magistrates,

  Thus contumeliously should break the peace!

  Enough, lords! How terrible that you, supreme judges,

  should so insolently disturb the peace!

  GLOUCESTER.

  Peace, mayor! thou know'st little of my wrongs:

  Here's Beaufort, that regards nor God nor king,

  Hath here distrain'd the Tower to his use.

  Peace, mayor! You don't know my grievances:

  here's Beaufort, who has no regard for God or the King,

  who has commandeered the Tower for his own use.

  WINCHESTER.

  Here's Gloucester, a foe to citizens,

  One that still motions war and never peace,

  O'ercharging your free purses with large fines,

  That seeks to overthrow religion,

  Because he is protector of the realm,

  And would have armour here out of the Tower,

  To crown himself king and suppress the prince.

  Here's Gloucester, an enemy to citizens, />
  one who always wants war and never peace,

  taking your money out of your purses in levies,

  who wants to rule over religion,

  because he is protector of the kingdom,

  and wants the armour out of the Tower,

  so he can crown himself king and depose the prince.

  GLOUCESTER.

  I will not answer thee with words, but blows.

  I'll give you your answer with blows, not words.

  Here they skirmish again.

  MAYOR.

  Nought rests for me in this tumultuous strife

  But to make open proclamation:

  Come, officer; as loud as e'er thou canst.

  There's nothing I can do about this battle

  but to make an open announcement:

  come, officer; as loud as you can.

  OFFICER.

  All manner of men assembled here in arms

  this day against God's peace and the king's, we charge

  and command you, in his highness' name, to repair to

  your several dwelling-places; and not to wear, handle, or

  use any sword, weapon, or dagger, henceforward, upon

  pain of death.

  All of you men who have gathered here with weapons

  today against the peace of God and the King, we order

  and command you, in the name of his Highness, to go back to

  your residences; and not to wear, handle, or