The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated)

by William Shakespeare

Shame to the Duke of Burgundy and thee!

  I vow'd, base knight, when I did meet thee next,

  To tear the garter from thy craven's leg, [Plucking it off.]

  Which I have done, because unworthily

  Thou wast installed in that high degree.

  Pardon me, princely Henry, and the rest:

  This dastard, at the battle of Patay,

  When but in all I was six thousand strong

  And that the French were almost ten to one,

  Before we met or that a stroke was given,

  Like to a trusty squire did run away:

  In which assault we lost twelve hundred men;

  Myself and divers gentlemen beside

  Were there surprised and taken prisoners.

  Then judge, great lords, if I have done amiss;

  Or whether that such cowards ought to wear

  This ornament of knighthood, yea or no.

  Shame on the Duke of Burgundy and on you!

  I swore, degraded knight, that the next time I saw you

  I would tear the garter off your coward's leg,

  which I have done, because you did not deserve

  to be given that great honour.

  Excuse me, princely Henry, and you others:

  this bastard, at the battle of Poitiers,

  when I only had six thousand men

  and the French outnumbered us almost ten to one,

  before we met or any blows were struck,

  he ran away like a complete coward:

  in that battle we lost twelve hundred men;

  myself and other gentlemen besides

  were ambushed there and taken prisoner.

  So judge, great lords, if I have done anything wrong;

  or whether cowards like him should be allowed to wear

  this badge of knighthood, yes or no.

  GLOUCESTER.

  To say the truth, this fact was infamous

  And ill beseeming any common man,

  Much more a knight, a captain, and a leader.

  To tell the truth, this matter was notorious

  and it would look bad for any common man,

  let alone a knight, a captain, and a leader.

  TALBOT.

  When first this order was ordain'd, my lords,

  Knights of the garter were of noble birth,

  Valiant and virtuous, full of haughty courage,

  Such as were grown to credit by the wars;

  Not fearing death, nor shrinking for distress,

  But always resolute in most extremes.

  He then that is not furnish'd in this sort

  Doth but usurp the sacred name of knight,

  Profaning this most honorable order,

  And should, if I were worthy to be judge,

  Be quite degraded, like a hedge-born swain

  That doth presume to boast of gentle blood.

  When this order was first established, my lords,

  Knights of the Garter were men of noble birth,

  brave and good, full of proud courage,

  the sort of people who got credit in war;

  they did not fear death, nor facing danger,

  but remained steadfast in the most desperate situations.

  So somebody who does not have that sort of character

  is just stealing the sacred name of knight,

  dishonouring this most honourable order,

  and he should, if I'm allowed to judge,

  be quite humiliated, like a country peasant

  who tries to boast that he has noble blood.

  KING.

  Stain to thy countrymen, thou hear'st thy doom!

  Be packing, therefore, thou that wast a knight;

  Henceforth we banish thee, on pain of death.

  [Exit Fastolfe.]

  And now, my lord protector, view the letter

  Sent from our uncle Duke of Burgundy.

  You blot on your countrymen, you've heard your sentence!

  So get packing, you who were a knight;

  I banish you from this place, on pain of death.

  And now, my lord protector, let's see the letter

  that our uncle the Duke of Burgundy sent.

  GLOUCESTER.

  What means his grace,

  that he hath changed his style?

  No more but, plain and bluntly, 'To the King!'

  Hath he forgot he is his sovereign?

  Or doth this churlish superscription

  Pretend some alteration in good will?

  What's here? [Reads] 'I have, upon especial cause,

  Moved with compassion of my country's wreck,

  Together with the pitiful complaints

  Of such as your oppression feeds upon,

  Forsaken your pernicious faction,

  And join'd with Charles, the rightful King of France.'

  O monstrous treachery! can this be so,

  That in alliance, amity and oaths,

  There should be found such false dissembling guile?

  What does his grace mean,

  by changing his style like this?

  He just says plainly and bluntly, “To the King!"

  Has he forgotten who is his ruler?

  Or does this curmudgeonly address

  indicate some change in his attitude?

  What's here? “I have, for special reasons,

  moved by compassion at the destruction of my country,

  and the pitiful suffering

  of those whom you oppress,

  left your evil party,

  and joined with Charles, the true king of France."

  O monstrous treachery! Can this really be happening,

  that such false lying trickery could be found

  amongst all the alliances, friendship and oaths?

  KING.

  What! doth my uncle Burgundy revolt?

  What! Is my uncle Burgundy rebelling?

  GLOUCESTER.

  He doth, my lord, and is become your foe.

  He is, my lord, and has become your enemy.

  KING.

  Is that the worst this letter doth contain?

  Is that the worst news in the letter?

  GLOUCESTER.

  It is the worst, and all, my lord, he writes.

  It is the worst, my lord, in fact it's all he says.

  KING.

  Why, then, Lord Talbot there shall talk with him,

  And give him chastisement for this abuse.

  How say you, my lord? are you not content?

  Well, then, Lord Talbot shall speak with him,

  and punish him for his crime.

  What do you say, my lord? Are you happy with that?

  TALBOT.

  Content, my liege! yes; but that I am prevented,

  I should have begg'd I might have been employ'd.

  Happy, my lord! Yes; if it hadn't been bad etiquette,

  I would have begged to be given this job.

  KING.

  Then gather strength, and march unto him straight:

  Let him perceive how ill we brook his treason,

  And what offence it is to flout his friends.

  Then summon your forces, and march straight to him:

  show him what we think of his treason,

  and what a crime it is to insult his friends.

  TALBOT.

  I go, my lord, in heart desiring still

  You may behold confusion of your foes.

  I shall go, my lord, my heart's desire still being

  you shall see your enemies defeated.

  [Exit.]

  [Enter Vernon and Basset.]

  VERNON.

  Grant me the combat, gracious sovereign.

  Permit me to fight a duel, gracious sovereign.

  BASSET.

  And me, my lord, grant me the combat too.

  And me, my lord, give me permission too.

  YORK.

  This is my servant: hear him, noble prince.

  This is my s
ervant: hear him, noble Prince.

  SOMERSET.

  And this is mine: sweet Henry, favor him.

  And this is mine: sweet Henry, listen to him.

  KING.

  Be patient, lords, and give them leave to speak.

  Say, gentlemen, what makes you thus exclaim?

  And wherefore crave you combat? or with whom?

  Calm down, lords, and give them a chance to speak.

  Tell me, gentlemen, what got you so passionate?

  Why do you want to fight a duel? And who with?

  VERNON.

  With him, my lord; for he hath done me wrong.

  With him, my lord; for he has insulted me.

  BASSET.

  And I with him; for he hath done me wrong.

  And I want to fight him; for he has insulted me.

  KING.

  What is that wrong whereof you both complain?

  First let me know, and then I'll answer you.

  What is this insult which you are both complaining of?

  first tell me, and then I'll answer you.

  BASSET.

  Crossing the sea from England into France,

  This fellow here, with envious carping tongue,

  Upbraided me about the rose I wear;

  Saying, the sanguine colour of the leaves

  Did represent my master's blushing cheeks,

  When stubbornly he did repugn the truth

  About a certain question in the law

  Argued betwixt the Duke of York and him;

  With other vile and ignominious terms:

  In confutation of which rude reproach,

  And in defence of my lord's worthiness,

  I crave the benefit of law of arms.

  Crossing the sea from England to France,

  this fellow here, with his jealous sniping tongue,

  made fun of me for the rose I wear;

  he said that the red colour of the leaves

  represented the blushing cheeks of my master,

  when he stubbornly refuted the truth

  about a question of law that he was

  arguing with the Duke of York;

  he used other rude and disgraceful language:

  in order to pay him back for his rudeness,

  and to defend the reputation of my lord,

  I begged to be allowed a duel.

  VERNON.

  And that is my petition, noble lord:

  For though he seem with forged quaint conceit

  To set a gloss upon his bold intent,

  Yet know, my lord, I was provoked by him;

  And he first took exceptions at this badge,

  Pronouncing that the paleness of this flower

  Bewray'd the faintness of my master's heart.

  That is what I ask also, noble lord:

  for although he has made up a nice story

  to cover up his transgression,

  you should know, my lord, that I was provoked by him;

  he was the first one to mock my badge,

  saying that the paleness of this flower

  represented the faintness of my master's heart.

  YORK.

  Will not this malice, Somerset, be left?

  Can't you drop this argument, Somerset?

  SOMERSET.

  Your private grudge, my Lord of York, will out,

  Though ne'er so cunningly you smother it.

  Your secret grudge, my Lord of York, always appears,

  however cunningly you try to hide it.

  KING.

  Good Lord, what madness rules in brainsick men,

  When for so slight and frivolous a cause

  Such factious emulations shall arise!

  Good cousins both, of York and Somerset,

  Quiet yourselves, I pray, and be at peace.

  Good Lord, what madness is ruling you foolish men,

  when for such a small and trivial reason

  you start such great arguments!

  My good cousins, York and Somerset,

  calm down, please, and be at peace.

  YORK.

  Let this dissension first be tried by fight,

  And then your highness shall command a peace.

  Let this argument be tested in combat first,

  and then your Highness can order peace.

  SOMERSET.

  The quarrel toucheth none but us alone;

  Betwixt ourselves let us decide it then.

  This quarrel affects nobody but ourselves;

  let us decide it between us.

  YORK.

  There is my pledge; accept it, Somerset.

  There is my challenge; accept it, Somerset.

  VERNON.

  Nay, let it rest where it began at first.

  No, let it stay where it first began.

  BASSET.

  Confirm it so, mine honorable lord.

  Say you will, my honourable lord.

  GLOUCESTER.

  Confirm it so! Confounded be your strife!

  And perish ye, with your audacious prate!

  Presumptuous vassals, are you not ashamed

  With this immodest clamorous outrage

  To trouble and disturb the king and us?

  And you, my lords, methinks you do not well

  To bear with their perverse objections;

  Much less to take occasion from their mouths

  To raise a mutiny betwixt yourselves:

  Let me persuade you take a better course.

  Say I will! Be damned to your arguments!

  May you die, with your arrogant chatter!

  You presumptuous servants, aren't you ashamed

  to trouble and disturb the King and us

  with these rude noisy outbursts?

  And you, my lords, I don't think it's right

  for you to support their stupid quarrel;

  even less so to use their argument

  to start a fight between yourselves:

  let me persuade you of a better way of doing things.

  EXETER.

  It grieves his highness: good my lords, be friends.

  You're upsetting his Highness: my good lords, be friends.

  KING.

  Come hither, you that would be combatants:

  Henceforth I charge you, as you love our favor,

  Quite to forget this quarrel and the cause.

  And you, my lords, remember where we are:

  In France, amongst a fickle wavering nation;

  If they perceive dissension in our looks

  And that within ourselves we disagree,

  How will their grudging stomachs be provoked

  To willful disobedience, and rebel!

  Beside, what infamy will there arise

  When foreign princes shall be certified

  That for a toy, a thing of no regard,

  King Henry's peers and chief nobility

  Destroy'd themselves and lost the realm of France

  O, think upon the conquest of my father,

  My tender years; and let us not forgo

  That for a trifle that was bought with blood!

  Let me be umpire in this doubtful strife.

  I see no reason, if I wear this rose,

  [Putting on a red rose.]

  That any one should therefore be suspicious

  I more incline to Somerset than York:

  Both are my kinsmen, and I love them both:

  As well they may upbraid me with my crown,

  Because, forsooth, the king of Scots is crown'd.

  But your discretions better can persuade

  Than I am able to instruct or teach;

  And, therefore, as we hither came in peace,

  So let us still continue peace and love.

  Cousin of York, we institute your grace

  To be our Regent in these parts of France:

  And, good my Lord of Somerset, unite

  Your troops of horsemen with his bands of foot;

  And, li
ke true subjects, sons of your progenitors,

  Go cheerfully together and digest

  Your angry choler on your enemies.

  Ourself, my lord protector and the rest

  After some respite will return to Calais;

  From thence to England; where I hope ere long

  To be presented, by your victories,

  With Charles, Alencon, and that traitorous rout.

  Come here, you who want to fight.

  From now on I order you, if you want to serve me,

  to completely forget this quarrel and the reasons for it.

  And you, my lord; remember where we are–

  in France, which is a fickle and changeable country.

  If they see that we are arguing,

  and that we have disagreements amongst ourselves,

  how much that will provoke their disgruntled spirits

  to be wilfully disobedient and rebel!

  Besides, what a bad reputation we will get,

  when foreign princes are notified that

  for a trifle, something of no importance,

  King Henry's peers and his greatest noblemen

  destroyed themselves and lost France!

  Think of the victory of my father,

  my youth, and do not let us lose something

  that we paid for with blood over a trifle.

  [Takes the red rose from Basset]

  I see no reason, if I wear this rose,

  for anybody to think

  that I am more favourable to Somerset than York:

  they are both kinsmen of mine, and I love them both.

  Someone might as well criticise my having a crown

  because the king of Scotland has one also.

  But you can see the difference better

  than I can teach it to you:

  and so, as we came here in peace,

  let us continue with peace and love.

  My cousin York, I choose your Grace