The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated)

by William Shakespeare

  As you have done here—Jessica!—

  And sleep and snore, and wear your cloths out—

  Jessica, come here, I’m calling you!

  LAUNCELOT

  Why, Jessica!

  Jessica!

  SHYLOCK

  Who bids thee call? I do not bid thee call.

  Why do you call her? I didn’t tell you to call her.

  LAUNCELOT

  Your worship was wont to tell me that

  I could do nothing without bidding.

  You always told me

  I couldn’t do anything unless you said I could.

  Enter Jessica

  JESSICA

  Call you? what is your will?

  Did you call? What do you want?

  SHYLOCK

  I am bid forth to supper, Jessica:

  There are my keys. But wherefore should I go?

  I am not bid for love; they flatter me:

  But yet I'll go in hate, to feed upon

  The prodigal Christian. Jessica, my girl,

  Look to my house. I am right loath to go:

  There is some ill a-brewing towards my rest,

  For I did dream of money-bags to-night.

  I am invited for dinner, Jessica,

  Here are my keys/ But why should I go?

  The invite is not because they like me. They’re just flattering me.

  But I’ll go out of spite, to feast at the expense of

  The wasteful Christian. Jessica, my girl,

  Look after the house. I am hesitant to go:

  There’s something up that is making me uneasy.

  I know because I dreamt of money bags last night.

  LAUNCELOT

  I beseech you, sir, go: my young master doth expect

  your reproach.

  Please, sir, go. My new master is expecting

  you to approach.

  SHYLOCK

  So do I his.

  And I expect his reproach.

  LAUNCELOT

  And they have conspired together, I will not say you

  shall see a masque; but if you do, then it was not

  for nothing that my nose fell a-bleeding on

  Black-Monday last at six o'clock i' the morning,

  falling out that year on Ash-Wednesday was four

  year, in the afternoon.

  And they have been making plans. I will not say you

  will see a masquerade, but if you do, then it wasn’t for

  nothing that my nose started bleeding on

  this past Easter Monday at six o’clock in the morning,

  exactly like it did on Ash Wednesday four

  years ago in the afternoon.

  SHYLOCK

  What, are there masques? Hear you me, Jessica:

  Lock up my doors; and when you hear the drum

  And the vile squealing of the wry-neck'd fife,

  Clamber not you up to the casements then,

  Nor thrust your head into the public street

  To gaze on Christian fools with varnish'd faces,

  But stop my house's ears, I mean my casements:

  Let not the sound of shallow foppery enter

  My sober house. By Jacob's staff, I swear,

  I have no mind of feasting forth to-night:

  But I will go. Go you before me, sirrah;

  Say I will come.

  What, there’s going to be a masquerade? Listen to me, Jessica:

  Lock up my doors and when you hear the drum

  And the disgusting squealing of the crooked flute

  Don’t crawl up to the windows

  Or stick your head out to look into the street

  To look at the Christrian fools with painted faces,

  Instead, plug up my house’s ears, I mean my windows:

  Don’t let the sound of shallow foolishness enter

  my serious house. By Jacob’s staff, I swear,

  I’m not in the mood to go out feasting tonight,

  But I will go. Go on ahead of me, then,

  And tell them I will come.

  LAUNCELOT

  I will go before, sir. Mistress, look out at

  window, for all this, There will come a Christian

  boy, will be worth a Jewess' eye.

  I will go ahead, sir. Mistress, look out the

  window later, and you will see the arrival of a Christian

  boy well worth the glance of a Jewess’ eye.

  Exit

  SHYLOCK

  What says that fool of Hagar's offspring, ha?

  What did that fool say to you, huh?

  JESSICA

  His words were 'Farewell mistress;' nothing else.

  He said ‘Goodbye mistress,’ and nothing else.

  SHYLOCK

  The patch is kind enough, but a huge feeder;

  Snail-slow in profit, and he sleeps by day

  More than the wild-cat: drones hive not with me;

  Therefore I part with him, and part with him

  To one that would have him help to waste

  His borrow'd purse. Well, Jessica, go in;

  Perhaps I will return immediately:

  Do as I bid you; shut doors after you:

  Fast bind, fast find;

  A proverb never stale in thrifty mind.

  The fool is nice enough, but he eats a lot.

  He is slow as a snail when he works, and he naps

  As much as a cat. Bees that don’t work can’t stay in my hive

  So I am letting him go, and letting him work

  For the one that will have help to waste

  The money he borrowed from me. Well, Jessica, go inside.

  I may very well return immediately.

  Do as I tell you and shut the doors behind you.

  Lock things up and you will find them where you left them,

  Which is a saying that is always fresh in a thrifty mind.

  Exit

  JESSICA

  Farewell; and if my fortune be not crost,

  I have a father, you a daughter, lost.

  Goodbye, and if my luck holds out,

  I will lose a father and you will lose a daughter.

  Exit

  Enter GRATIANO and SALARINO, masqued

  GRATIANO

  This is the pent-house under which Lorenzo

  Desired us to make stand.

  This is the roof that Lorenzo

  wants us to wait under.

  SALARINO

  His hour is almost past.

  It’s after the time he said he’d be here.

  GRATIANO

  And it is marvel he out-dwells his hour,

  For lovers ever run before the clock.

  It is surprising that he is late

  Because lovers are usually early.

  SALARINO

  O, ten times faster Venus' pigeons fly

  To seal love's bonds new-made, than they are wont

  To keep obliged faith unforfeited!

  Yes, time flies ten times faster

  for those who are newly in love that it does for those

  who have been married a long time and are trying to remain faithful!

  GRATIANO

  That ever holds: who riseth from a feast

  With that keen appetite that he sits down?

  Where is the horse that doth untread again

  His tedious measures with the unbated fire

  That he did pace them first? All things that are,

  Are with more spirit chased than enjoy'd.

  How like a younker or a prodigal

  The scarfed bark puts from her native bay,

  Hugg'd and embraced by the strumpet wind!

  How like the prodigal doth she return,

  With over-weather'd ribs and ragged sails,

  Lean, rent and beggar'd by the strumpet wind!

  That’s the case for a lot of things: who rises from a feast

  With the same sharp appetite as when he sat down?

  Where is a ho
rse that can retrace again

  His careful footsteps with the same intense heat with which

  He first ran them? All the things we want

  Are chased after with more enthusiasm than they are enjoyed.

  Just like a fashionable young man or a favorite son—

  A fully decked out ship leaves her bay,

  Lovingly embraced by the wind,

  But like the prodigal son she returns,

  With weather worn ribs and ragged sails,

  Made lean, torn and destitute by the same wind.

  SALARINO

  Here comes Lorenzo: more of this hereafter.

  Here comes Lorenzo. We can talk more about this later.

  Enter LORENZO

  LORENZO

  Sweet friends, your patience for my long abode;

  Not I, but my affairs, have made you wait:

  When you shall please to play the thieves for wives,

  I'll watch as long for you then. Approach;

  Here dwells my father Jew. Ho! who's within?

  My good friends, thanks for your patience with my delay.

  It wasn’t me, but my business, that made me late.

  When you, too, have to be thieves to get your wives,

  I’ll wait as long for you, then. Come here.

  This is the house of my future father-in-law. Hello! Who’s inside?

  Enter JESSICA, above, in boy's clothes

  JESSICA

  Who are you? Tell me, for more certainty,

  Albeit I'll swear that I do know your tongue.

  Who are you? Tell me, so I can be certain,

  Although I swear I know you by your voice.

  LORENZO

  Lorenzo, and thy love.

  It’s Lorenzo, your love.

  JESSICA

  Lorenzo, certain, and my love indeed,

  For who love I so much? And now who knows

  But you, Lorenzo, whether I am yours?

  Lorenzo, for certain, and my love for sure.

  Who else do I love so much? Who knows now

  but you, Lorenzo, whether I am yours?

  LORENZO

  Heaven and thy thoughts are witness that thou art.

  As God is my witness, you know you are mine.

  JESSICA

  Here, catch this casket; it is worth the pains.

  I am glad 'tis night, you do not look on me,

  For I am much ashamed of my exchange:

  But love is blind and lovers cannot see

  The pretty follies that themselves commit;

  For if they could, Cupid himself would blush

  To see me thus transformed to a boy.

  Here, catch this box—it will be worth the trouble.

  I am glad it is dark and you can not see me

  Because I am ashamed of my appearance.

  But love is blind and lovers cannot see

  The silly things they do.

  If they could, Cupid himself would blush

  To see me transformed into a boy.

  LORENZO

  Descend, for you must be my torchbearer.

  Come down because you are to be my torchbearer.

  JESSICA

  What, must I hold a candle to my shames?

  They in themselves, good-sooth, are too too light.

  Why, 'tis an office of discovery, love;

  And I should be obscured.

  Really, I have to hold a light to my disgrace?

  My disguise is, in fact, itself a bit sleazy.

  The light will serve to reveal

  What really should be kept hidden.

  LORENZO

  So are you, sweet,

  Even in the lovely garnish of a boy.

  But come at once;

  For the close night doth play the runaway,

  And we are stay'd for at Bassanio's feast.

  You are still sweet

  Even when you are dressed like a boy.

  Come on, let’s hurry—

  The night is passing

  And we are late for Bassanio’s feast.

  JESSICA

  I will make fast the doors, and gild myself

  With some more ducats, and be with you straight.

  I will lock the doors and grab

  Some more money and be right down.

  Exit above

  GRATIANO

  Now, by my hood, a Gentile and no Jew.

  I think she acts more than a Gentile than a Jew.

  LORENZO

  Beshrew me but I love her heartily;

  For she is wise, if I can judge of her,

  And fair she is, if that mine eyes be true,

  And true she is, as she hath proved herself,

  And therefore, like herself, wise, fair and true,

  Shall she be placed in my constant soul.

  Damn, but I love her like crazy!

  She is wise, if I’m observing correctly,

  And beautiful, if my eyes see right.

  And she is loyal, and has proven that.

  And with her being so wise, beautiful and faithful,

  She will have a place in my heart forever.

  Enter JESSICA, below

  What, art thou come? On, gentlemen; away!

  Our masquing mates by this time for us stay.

  Well, you’ve finally come down? Let’s go, gentlemen!

  Our mascarading friends are waiting for us.

  Exit with Jessica and Salarino

  Enter ANTONIO

  ANTONIO

  Who's there?

  Who’s there?

  GRATIANO

  Signior Antonio!

  Signior Antonio!

  ANTONIO

  Fie, fie, Gratiano! where are all the rest?

  'Tis nine o'clock: our friends all stay for you.

  No masque to-night: the wind is come about;

  Bassanio presently will go aboard:

  I have sent twenty out to seek for you.

  Gratiano! Where is everybody?

  It’s nine o’clock—our friends are waiting for you.

  There won’t be a masquerade tonight. The wind has turned direction,

  And Bassianio wants to ship out tonight.

  I’ve got twenty men out looking for you.

  GRATIANO

  I am glad on't: I desire no more delight

  Than to be under sail and gone to-night.

  I’m glad to hear it. I can’t think of anything more

  I’d rather do than to leave tonight.

  Exeunt

  Flourish of cornets. Enter PORTIA, with the PRINCE OF MOROCCO, and their trains

  PORTIA

  Go draw aside the curtains and discover

  The several caskets to this noble prince.

  Now make your choice.

  Open the curtains to reveal

  The trunks to this noble prince.

  Now, make your choice.

  MOROCCO

  The first, of gold, who this inscription bears,

  'Who chooseth me shall gain what many men desire;'

  The second, silver, which this promise carries,

  'Who chooseth me shall get as much as he deserves;'

  This third, dull lead, with warning all as blunt,

  'Who chooseth me must give and hazard all he hath.'

  How shall I know if I do choose the right?

  The first one is made of gold and it bear this inscription:

  ‘Whoever chooses me will get what many men want.’

  The second, which is made of silver, bears the promise:

  ‘Whoever chooses me will get all that he deserves.’

  The third, made of dull lead, bears a blunt warning:

  ‘Whoever chooses me must give and risk all he has.’

  How can I know which one to choose?

  PORTIA

  The one of them contains my picture, prince:

  If you choose that, then I am yours withal.

  One of them contains my picture, prince.

  I
f you choose that one, then I am yours forever, and so is the picture.

  MOROCCO

  Some god direct my judgment! Let me see;

  I will survey the inscriptions back again.

  What says this leaden casket?

  'Who chooseth me must give and hazard all he hath.'

  Must give: for what? for lead? hazard for lead?

  This casket threatens. Men that hazard all

  Do it in hope of fair advantages:

  A golden mind stoops not to shows of dross;

  I'll then nor give nor hazard aught for lead.

  What says the silver with her virgin hue?

  'Who chooseth me shall get as much as he deserves.'

  As much as he deserves! Pause there, Morocco,

  And weigh thy value with an even hand:

  If thou be'st rated by thy estimation,

  Thou dost deserve enough; and yet enough

  May not extend so far as to the lady:

  And yet to be afeard of my deserving

  Were but a weak disabling of myself.

  As much as I deserve! Why, that's the lady:

  I do in birth deserve her, and in fortunes,

  In graces and in qualities of breeding;

  But more than these, in love I do deserve.

  What if I stray'd no further, but chose here?

  Let's see once more this saying graved in gold

  'Who chooseth me shall gain what many men desire.'

  Why, that's the lady; all the world desires her;

  From the four corners of the earth they come,

  To kiss this shrine, this mortal-breathing saint:

  The Hyrcanian deserts and the vasty wilds

  Of wide Arabia are as thoroughfares now

  For princes to come view fair Portia: