The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated)
Page 445
Most incident to maids; bold oxlips and
The crown imperial; lilies of all kinds,
The flower-de-luce being one! O, these I lack,
To make you garlands of, and my sweet friend,
To strew him o'er and o'er!
Don't be so daft!
You would get so thin that the winds of January
would blow right through you. Now, my fair friends,
I wish I had some spring flowers that would
suit your age; and yours, and yours,
who are still dressed in innocence: oh Prosperina,
I wish I had the flowers that you, frightened, dropped
from Pluto's chariot! Daffodils,
that come ahead of the swallow, and delight
the winds of March with their beauty; violets, dim,
but sweeter than the lids of Juno's eyes
or the breath of Venus; pale primroses,
that die unmarried, before they can see
the bright sun at his strongest (an illness
maids often suffer from); tall oxlips
and the Crown Imperial; lilies of all kinds,
the fleur-de-lys being one of them. Oh, I don't have these
to make you garlands, and to cover my sweet friend
over and over!
FLORIZEL
What, like a corse?
What, like a corpse?
PERDITA
No, like a bank for love to lie and play on;
Not like a corse; or if, not to be buried,
But quick and in mine arms. Come, take your flowers:
Methinks I play as I have seen them do
In Whitsun pastorals: sure this robe of mine
Does change my disposition.
No, like a bank for lovers to lie and play on;
not like a corpse; or if you were, not buried,
but alive and in my arms. Come, take your flowers:
I think I'm acting as I've seen them do
in the Whitsun plays: I think my dress
must have changed my character.
FLORIZEL
What you do
Still betters what is done. When you speak, sweet,
I'ld have you do it ever: when you sing,
I'ld have you buy and sell so, so give alms,
Pray so; and, for the ordering your affairs,
To sing them too: when you do dance, I wish you
A wave o' the sea, that you might ever do
Nothing but that; move still, still so,
And own no other function: each your doing,
So singular in each particular,
Crowns what you are doing in the present deed,
That all your acts are queens.
Everything you do
gets better and better. When you speak, sweet,
I wish you would never stop: when you sing,
I'd like you to do it when you're trading, giving charity,
praying; when you are giving orders for your business
I'd like you to sing them too: when you dance, I wish
that you were a wave on the sea, that would never do
anything but that; just keep moving, stay like that,
have nothing else to do: everything you do,
so wonderful in every way,
adds to what you are doing at the moment,
and makes everything you do heavenly.
PERDITA
O Doricles,
Your praises are too large: but that your youth,
And the true blood which peepeth fairly through't,
Do plainly give you out an unstain'd shepherd,
With wisdom I might fear, my Doricles,
You woo'd me the false way.
Oh Doricles,
you give me too much praise: if it wasn't that your youth,
and the honest blood which can be seen in you,
clearly indicate that you are an innocent shepherd,
if I thought about it I might worry, my Doricles,
that you are wooing me with falsehoods.
FLORIZEL
I think you have
As little skill to fear as I have purpose
To put you to't. But come; our dance, I pray:
Your hand, my Perdita: so turtles pair,
That never mean to part.
I think you have
as little cause to fear as I have intention
to do that. But come, let us dance please:
give me your hand, my Perdita: together like turtledoves
that will never part.
PERDITA
I'll swear for 'em.
I swear they don't.
POLIXENES
This is the prettiest low-born lass that ever
Ran on the green-sward: nothing she does or seems
But smacks of something greater than herself,
Too noble for this place.
This is the prettiest peasant lass that ever
ran in the fields: everything she does and appears to be
makes her look as if she was nobler than her birth,
too noble for this place.
CAMILLO
He tells her something
That makes her blood look out: good sooth, she is
The queen of curds and cream.
He's telling her something
that's making her blush: good heavens,
she is the queen of the dairy.
Clown
Come on, strike up!
Come on, let's have music!
DORCAS
Mopsa must be your mistress: marry, garlic,
To mend her kissing with!
Mopsa will dance with you: give her some garlic
to make her kisses sweeter!
MOPSA
Now, in good time!
Now, behave yourself!
Clown
Not a word, a word; we stand upon our manners.
Come, strike up!
Music. Here a dance of Shepherds and Shepherdesses
No talking, no talking; we're wasting time.
Come, play the music!
POLIXENES
Pray, good shepherd, what fair swain is this
Which dances with your daughter?
Tell me, good shepherd, what handsome lad is this
who dances with your daughter?
Shepherd
They call him Doricles; and boasts himself
To have a worthy feeding: but I have it
Upon his own report and I believe it;
He looks like sooth. He says he loves my daughter:
I think so too; for never gazed the moon
Upon the water as he'll stand and read
As 'twere my daughter's eyes: and, to be plain.
I think there is not half a kiss to choose
Who loves another best.
They call him Doricles; he says
he owns a good estate: I have his
word on it and I believe it;
he looks honest. He says he loves my daughter:
I believe that too; for the moon never looked
down on the water in the same way as he will
stand looking into my daughter's eyes: to be honest with you
I don't think there's any difference
in their devotion to each other.
POLIXENES
She dances featly.
She dances beautifully.
Shepherd
So she does any thing; though I report it,
That should be silent: if young Doricles
Do light upon her, she shall bring him that
Which he not dreams of.
She does everything beautifully, although
I say it myself: if young Doricles
chooses her, she will bring him things
he cannot dream of.
Enter Servant
Servant
O master, if you did but hear the pedlar at the
door, you would never dance
again after a tabour and
pipe; no, the bagpipe could not move you: he sings
several tunes faster than you'll tell money; he
utters them as he had eaten ballads and all men's
ears grew to his tunes.
Oh master, if you only heard the pedlar at the
door, you would never want to dance to the whistle and
drum again; you wouldn't care for the bagpipes: he sings
different tunes faster than you can count money; he
sings them as if he had eaten the music sheets and
everyone bends their ears to his tune.
Clown
He could never come better; he shall come in. I
love a ballad but even too well, if it be doleful
matter merrily set down, or a very pleasant thing
indeed and sung lamentably.
He couldn't have come at a better time; let him in.
I'm exceedingly fond of ballads, if it has a sad
subject with a merry tune, or a merry subject
set to sad music.
Servant
He hath songs for man or woman, of all sizes; no
milliner can so fit his customers with gloves: he
has the prettiest love-songs for maids; so without
bawdry, which is strange; with such delicate
burthens of dildos and fadings, 'jump her and thump
her;' and where some stretch-mouthed rascal would,
as it were, mean mischief and break a foul gap into
the matter, he makes the maid to answer 'Whoop, do me
no harm, good man;' puts him off, slights him, with
'Whoop, do me no harm, good man.'
He has songs for men and women, of all sizes;
no milliner could make a better fit with his gloves:
he has the prettiest love songs for girls; completely
without vulgarity, which is unusual; with such delicate
nonsensical choruses, ‘jump her and thump
her;’ and when some foulmouthed rascal
wants to make mischief and put some vulgarity
into the song, he has the made answer ‘whoop, do me
no harm, good man;’ pushes him away and puts him down
with ‘whoop, do me no harm, good man.’
POLIXENES
This is a brave fellow.
This sounds like a good chap.
Clown
Believe me, thou talkest of an admirable conceited
fellow. Has he any unbraided wares?
Believe me, we're talking about a wonderfully ingenious
fellow. Has he any new goods for sale?
Servant
He hath ribbons of an the colours i' the rainbow;
points more than all the lawyers in Bohemia can
learnedly handle, though they come to him by the
gross: inkles, caddisses, cambrics, lawns: why, he
sings 'em over as they were gods or goddesses; you
would think a smock were a she-angel, he so chants
to the sleeve-hand and the work about the square on't.
He has ribbons in all the colours of the rainbow;
more laces than all the lawyers in Bohemia could
untangle, even if they came to him in mobs:
linen tapes, garter tapes, cambric, lawn: why he
advertises them as if they were gods or goddesses; you
would think that the smock was a female angel, to hear him sing
about its cuffs and the embroidery on the bodice.
Clown
Prithee bring him in; and let him approach singing.
Please bring him in; and let him come in singing.
PERDITA
Forewarn him that he use no scurrilous words in 's tunes.
Exit Servant
Warn him that he is to use no vulgar words in his tunes.
Clown
You have of these pedlars, that have more in them
than you'ld think, sister.
There is more to some of these pedlars than
you would imagine, sister.
PERDITA
Ay, good brother, or go about to think.
Yes, good brother, more than I want to think about.
Enter AUTOLYCUS, singing
AUTOLYCUS
Lawn as white as driven snow;
Cyprus black as e'er was crow;
Gloves as sweet as damask roses;
Masks for faces and for noses;
Bugle bracelet, necklace amber,
Perfume for a lady's chamber;
Golden quoifs and stomachers,
For my lads to give their dears:
Pins and poking-sticks of steel,
What maids lack from head to heel:
Come buy of me, come; come buy, come buy;
Buy lads, or else your lasses cry: Come buy.
Lawn as white as driven snow;
crêpe as black as the crow ever was;
gloves as sweet as damask roses;
masks for faces and for noses;
black glass beads strung together, amber necklaces,
perfume for a lady's bedroom;
golden caps and belts,
for the lads to give their sweethearts:
pins and collar stiffeners of steel,
everything a girl could want:
come and buy from me, come! Come and buy! Come and buy!
Buy, lads, don't make your lasses cry.
Come and buy!
Clown
If I were not in love with Mopsa, thou shouldst take
no money of me; but being enthralled as I am, it
will also be the bondage of certain ribbons and gloves.
If I were not in love with Mopsa, you would get
no money from me; but being besotted as I am, I
will get you to parcel up some ribbons and gloves.
MOPSA
I was promised them against the feast; but they come
not too late now.
I was promised them in time for the feast; but now
is not too late.
DORCAS
He hath promised you more than that, or there be liars.
He promised you more than that, or someone is lying.
MOPSA
He hath paid you all he promised you; may be, he has
paid you more, which will shame you to give him again.
He has paid you all he promised you; maybe he has
overpaid you, and you're worried you'll have to give it back.
Clown
Is there no manners left among maids? will they
wear their plackets where they should bear their
faces? Is there not milking-time, when you are
going to bed, or kiln-hole, to whistle off these
secrets, but you must be tittle-tattling before all
our guests? 'tis well they are whispering: clamour
your tongues, and not a word more.
Don't girls have any manners any more? Will they
show their privates where their faces should be?
Don't you have milking time, or when you're going to bed,
or sitting round the oven, to whisper about these secrets?
Do you have to gossip about it in front of all our guests?
MOPSA
I have done. Come, you promised me a tawdry-lace
and a pair of sweet gloves.
I've finished. Come on, you promised me a coloured scarf
and a pair of scented gloves.
Clown
Have I not told thee how I was cozened by the way
and lost all my money?
Didn't I tell you how I was conned on the road
and lost all my money?
AUTOLYCUS
And indeed, sir, there are cozeners abroad;
therefore it behoves men to be wary.
Indeed, sir, there are conmen around;
everyone should be careful.
>
Clown
Fear not thou, man, thou shalt lose nothing here.
Don't you worry, man, you won't lose anything here.
AUTOLYCUS
I hope so, sir; for I have about me many parcels of charge.
I hope not, sir; I have many valuable items with me.
Clown
What hast here? ballads?
What's this you've got? Ballads?
MOPSA
Pray now, buy some: I love a ballad in print o'
life, for then we are sure they are true.
Now please, buy some: I love a printed ballad,
I swear, because then we know we've got the right words.
AUTOLYCUS
Here's one to a very doleful tune, how a usurer's
wife was brought to bed of twenty money-bags at a
burthen and how she longed to eat adders' heads and
toads carbonadoed.
Here's one, which has a very sad tune, about a moneylender's
wife who was pregnant with twenty moneybags,
and how she wanted to eat adders' heads and
fried toads.
MOPSA
Is it true, think you?
Is it true, do you think?
AUTOLYCUS
Very true, and but a month old.
Very true, and just a month old.
DORCAS
Bless me from marrying a usurer!
Save me from marrying a money lender!
AUTOLYCUS
Here's the midwife's name to't, one Mistress
Tale-porter, and five or six honest wives that were
present. Why should I carry lies abroad?
You can see it's signed by the midwife, one Mistress