The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated)

by William Shakespeare

  If you're civilised, speak: if you're savage

  kill me or help me. Hello! No answer? Then I'll go in.

  I'd better draw my sword; and if my enemy

  is as scared of swords I am, he'll hardly dare look at it.

  Good heavens, send me an enemy like this!

  Enter BELARIUS, GUIDERIUS, and ARVIRAGUS

  BELARIUS.

  You, Polydore, have prov'd best woodman and

  Are master of the feast. Cadwal and I

  Will play the cook and servant; 'tis our match.

  The sweat and industry would dry and die

  But for the end it works to. Come, our stomachs

  Will make what's homely savoury; weariness

  Can snore upon the flint, when resty sloth

  Finds the down pillow hard. Now, peace be here,

  Poor house, that keep'st thyself!

  You, Polydore, have shown yourself the best hunter and

  you are master of the feast. Cadwal and I

  will be the cook and the servant; that was our agreement.

  The sweat and labour would dry up and die

  if it wasn't for the result it desires. Come, our hunger

  will make simple food taste good; when you're properly tired

  you can sleep on the rock, when unworking laziness

  makes the feather pillow feel hard. Now, here is our resting place,

  our lowly house, standing empty!

  GUIDERIUS.

  I am thoroughly weary.

  I am thoroughly worn out.

  ARVIRAGUS.

  I am weak with toil, yet strong in appetite.

  I'm weak with effort, but strong with hunger.

  GUIDERIUS.

  There is cold meat i' th' cave; we'll browse on that

  Whilst what we have kill'd be cook'd.

  There is cold meat in the cave; we'll nibble at that

  while our prey is cooked.

  BELARIUS.

  [Looking into the cave] Stay, come not in.

  But that it eats our victuals, I should think

  Here were a fairy.

  Wait, don't come in.

  Except for the fact that it's eating our food, I would think

  that this was a fairy.

  GUIDERIUS.

  What's the matter, sir?

  What's the matter, sir?

  BELARIUS.

  By Jupiter, an angel! or, if not,

  An earthly paragon! Behold divineness

  No elder than a boy!

  Re-enter IMOGEN

  By Jupiter, an angel! Or, if not,

  an earthly copy of one! See divinity,

  no older than a boy!

  IMOGEN.

  Good masters, harm me not.

  Before I enter'd here I call'd, and thought

  To have begg'd or bought what I have took. Good troth,

  I have stol'n nought; nor would not though I had found

  Gold strew'd i' th' floor. Here's money for my meat.

  I would have left it on the board, so soon

  As I had made my meal, and parted

  With pray'rs for the provider.

  Good masters, don't hurt me.

  Before I came in here I called, and wanted

  to beg or buy the things I've taken. I promise,

  I have stolen nothing; and I wouldn't have even if I had found

  gold covering the floor. Here is money for my meat.

  I would have left it on the table, as soon

  as I had finished eating, and I would have left

  saying prayers for the provider.

  GUIDERIUS.

  Money, youth?

  Money, youth?

  ARVIRAGUS.

  All gold and silver rather turn to dirt,

  As 'tis no better reckon'd but of those

  Who worship dirty gods.

  All gold and silver should turn to dirt,

  as the only people who value it

  are those who worship false gods.

  IMOGEN.

  I see you're angry.

  Know, if you kill me for my fault, I should

  Have died had I not made it.

  I see you are angry.

  You should know that if you kill me for what I've done,

  I would have died if I hadn't done it.

  BELARIUS.

  Whither bound?

  Where you going?

  IMOGEN.

  To Milford Haven.

  To Milford Haven.

  BELARIUS.

  What's your name?

  What's your name?

  IMOGEN.

  Fidele, sir. I have a kinsman who

  Is bound for Italy; he embark'd at Milford;

  To whom being going, almost spent with hunger,

  I am fall'n in this offence.

  Fidele, sir. I have a kinsman who

  is bound for Italy; he is taking a ship from Milford;

  I was going to him when, almost dead from hunger,

  I committed this offence.

  BELARIUS.

  Prithee, fair youth,

  Think us no churls, nor measure our good minds

  By this rude place we live in. Well encounter'd!

  'Tis almost night; you shall have better cheer

  Ere you depart, and thanks to stay and eat it.

  Boys, bid him welcome.

  Please, fair youth,

  do not think we are rude, and don't judge our good minds

  by the standards of the rough place we live in. Pleased to meet you!

  It's almost night; you will have better food

  before you leave, and we’ll thank you for staying to eat it.

  Boys, make him welcome.

  GUIDERIUS.

  Were you a woman, youth,

  I should woo hard but be your groom. In honesty

  I bid for you as I'd buy.

  If only you were a woman, youth,

  I should try my hardest to marry you.

  I really mean what I'm saying.

  ARVIRAGUS.

  I'll make't my comfort

  He is a man. I'll love him as my brother;

  And such a welcome as I'd give to him

  After long absence, such is yours. Most welcome!

  Be sprightly, for you fall 'mongst friends.

  I'm glad enough that

  he's a man. I'll love him as my brother;

  and I'll give you a welcome such as

  I would give him after a long absence. You are most welcome!

  Be cheerful, for you have found friends.

  IMOGEN.

  'Mongst friends,

  If brothers. [Aside] Would it had been so that they

  Had been my father's sons! Then had my prize

  Been less, and so more equal ballasting

  To thee, Posthumus.

  Amongst friends,

  brothers.[Aside] I wish they had been

  my father's sons! Then my inheritance

  would have been less, so I would have been more equal

  to you, Posthumus.

  BELARIUS.

  He wrings at some distress.

  He's wringing his hands, something is upsetting him.

  GUIDERIUS.

  Would I could free't!

  I wish I could free him from it!

  ARVIRAGUS.

  Or I, whate'er it be,

  What pain it cost, what danger! Gods!

  So do I, whatever it is,

  however painful it would be, however dangerous! Gods!

  BELARIUS.

  [Whispering] Hark, boys.

  Listen, boys.

  IMOGEN.

  [Aside] Great men,

  That had a court no bigger than this cave,

  That did attend themselves, and had the virtue

  Which their own conscience seal'd them, laying by

  That nothing-gift of differing multitudes,

  Could not out-peer these twain. Pardon me, gods!

  I'd change my sex to be companion
with them,

  Since Leonatus' false.

  Great men,

  who had a court no bigger than this cave,

  with no servants, and had to

  be accountable to themselves for their behaviour, without

  the empty praise of the crowds,

  could not do better than these two. Pardon me, gods!

  I'd change my sex to be their companion,

  since Leonatus has proved false.

  BELARIUS.

  It shall be so.

  Boys, we'll go dress our hunt. Fair youth, come in.

  Discourse is heavy, fasting; when we have supp'd,

  We'll mannerly demand thee of thy story,

  So far as thou wilt speak it.

  This is the way it will be.

  Boys, let's go and butcher the carcass. Fair youth, come in.

  Talking is tiring and hungry work; when we have eaten,

  we'll politely ask you for your story,

  as far as you want to tell it.

  GUIDERIUS.

  Pray draw near.

  Please come in.

  ARVIRAGUS.

  The night to th' owl and morn to th' lark less

  welcome.

  You are more welcome to us than the night is to the owl or the morning is to the lark.

  IMOGEN.

  Thanks, sir.

  Thank you, sir.

  ARVIRAGUS.

  I pray draw near.

  Exeunt

  Please come in.

  Enter two ROMAN SENATORS and TRIBUNES

  FIRST SENATOR.

  This is the tenour of the Emperor's writ:

  That since the common men are now in action

  'Gainst the Pannonians and Dalmatians,

  And that the legions now in Gallia are

  Full weak to undertake our wars against

  The fall'n-off Britons, that we do incite

  The gentry to this business. He creates

  Lucius proconsul; and to you, the tribunes,

  For this immediate levy, he commands

  His absolute commission. Long live Caesar!

  This is the basis of the emperor's instructions;

  that since the common people are now fighting

  against the Hungarians and Dalmatians,

  and since the legions that are now in France are

  too weak to undertake our wars against

  the rebellious Britons, that we ask

  the upper classes to do this business. He has made

  Lucius proconsul: and he commands

  that you tribunes must follow his orders in this current business. Long live Caesar!

  TRIBUNE.

  Is Lucius general of the forces?

  Is Lucius general of the forces?

  SECOND SENATOR.

  Ay.

  Yes.

  TRIBUNE.

  Remaining now in Gallia?

  And he's stayed in France?

  FIRST SENATOR.

  With those legions

  Which I have spoke of, whereunto your levy

  Must be supplyant. The words of your commission

  Will tie you to the numbers and the time

  Of their dispatch.

  With those legions

  which I have spoken of,which you must supplement

  with your people. The written orders will tell you

  how many to send, and when

  to send them.

  TRIBUNE.

  We will discharge our duty.

  Exeunt

  We will do our duty.

  Enter CLOTEN alone

  CLOTEN.

  I am near to th' place where they should meet, if

  Pisanio

  have mapp'd it truly. How fit his garments serve me! Why

  should

  his mistress, who was made by him that made the tailor, not

  be

  fit too? The rather- saving reverence of the word- for 'tis

  said

  a woman's fitness comes by fits. Therein I must play the

  workman.

  I dare speak it to myself, for it is not vain-glory for a man

  and

  his glass to confer in his own chamber- I mean, the lines of

  my

  body are as well drawn as his; no less young, more strong,

  not

  beneath him in fortunes, beyond him in the advantage of the

  time,

  above him in birth, alike conversant in general services, and

  more remarkable in single oppositions. Yet this

  imperceiverant

  thing loves him in my despite. What mortality is! Posthumus,

  thy

  head, which now is growing upon thy shoulders, shall within

  this

  hour be off; thy mistress enforced; thy garments cut to

  pieces

  before her face; and all this done, spurn her home to her

  father,

  who may, haply, be a little angry for my so rough usage; but

  my

  mother, having power of his testiness, shall turn all into my

  commendations. My horse is tied up safe. Out, sword, and to a

  sore purpose! Fortune, put them into my hand. This is the

  very

  description of their meeting-place; and the fellow dares not

  deceive me.

  Exit

  I am near the place where they should meet, if Pisanio

  has got it right.How well his clothes fit me! Why shouldn't

  his mistress, who was made by the same one who made the tailor,

  not fit me too?More so, as - apologies for the dirty pun - they say

  a woman's randiness comes in fits.So I must be the workman.

  I can say it to myself, because it's not vain when a man

  is only addressing himself - I mean, my physique

  is just as good as his; I'm just as strong, I'm no

  poorer than him, at the moment I'm ahead of him in luck,

  above him in class, his equal on the battlefield

  and better than him at duelling.But this blockheaded

  thing prefers him to me.What a thing mortality is!Posthumus, your

  head, at the moment sitting on your shoulders, shall within

  the hour be cut off; your mistress will be raped; your clothes will be cut to pieces

  in front of her face; and once all this is done, I'll kick her home to her father,

  who might be a little angry at my treatment of her; but my mother,

  who is able to control his anger, will turn everything into

  praise for me.My horse is tied up safe.Out you come, sword, with a

  bad purpose!Fortune, let me get my hands on them.This is the exact

  description of their meeting place, and the fellow won't dare try and trick me.

  Enter, from the cave, BELARIUS, GUIDERIUS, ARVIRAGUS, and IMOGEN

  BELARIUS.

  [To IMOGEN] You are not well. Remain here in the

  cave;

  We'll come to you after hunting.

  You are not well.Stay here in the cave;

  we'll come back after hunting.

  ARVIRAGUS.

  [To IMOGEN] Brother, stay here.

  Are we not brothers?

  Brother, stay here.

  Aren't we brothers?

  IMOGEN.

  So man and man should be;

  But clay and clay differs in dignity,

  Whose dust is both alike. I am very sick.

  So all men should be;

  though they may be different in class,

  their dust is identical.I am very sick.

  GUIDERIUS.

  Go you to hunting; I'll abide with him.

  You go hunting, I'll stop here with him.

  IMOGEN.

  So sick I am not, yet I am not well;

  But not so citizen a wanton as

  To seem to die ere sick. So please you, leave me;

  Stick to
your journal course. The breach of custom

  Is breach of all. I am ill, but your being by me

  Cannot amend me; society is no comfort

  To one not sociable. I am not very sick,

  Since I can reason of it. Pray you trust me here.

  I'll rob none but myself; and let me die,

  Stealing so poorly.

  I'm not that sick, though I am not well;

  but I'm not such a namby pamby as

  to pretend I'm dying when I'm sick.So please, leave me;

  stick to your daily routine.Breaking routines

  upsets everything.I am ill, but you being with me

  won't make me better.Company doesn't help

  when you don't feel like it.I am not very sick,

  since I can think about it.Please trust me on this.

  I'll rob no-one but myself, and let me die

  for being such a poor thief.

  GUIDERIUS.

  I love thee; I have spoke it,

  How much the quantity, the weight as much

  As I do love my father.

  I love you; I have told you,

  in the same way and just as much

  as I love my father.

  BELARIUS.

  What? how? how?

  What?What's that?

  ARVIRAGUS.

  If it be sin to say so, sir, I yoke me

  In my good brother's fault. I know not why

  I love this youth, and I have heard you say

  Love's reason's without reason. The bier at door,

  And a demand who is't shall die, I'd say

  'My father, not this youth.'

  If it's a sin to say so, sir, I am just as sinning