The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated)

by William Shakespeare

Good, I hope he has some influence on that spoiled brat.

  Well, be may chance to do some good on her: A peevish self-will'd harlotry it is.

  Nurse

  Here she comes now with a smile on her face.

  See where she comes from shrift with merry look.

  (Enter Juliet.)

  Capulet

  Where have you been, my headstrong daughter?

  How now, my headstrong! where have you been gadding?

  Juliet

  I have been where I could repent the sin of disobedience to my parents. Now, at Friar Lawrence’s urgings, I am here to beg your forgiveness. (On her knees.) Please, forgive me. From now on, I will listen to you and do whatever you wish.

  Where I have learn'd me to repent the sin Of disobedient opposition To you and your behests; and am enjoin'd By holy Lawrence to fall prostrate here, To beg your pardon:--pardon, I beseech you! Henceforward I am ever rul'd by you.

  Capulet

  Send for the Count. Tell him he is to wed tomorrow morning.

  Send for the county; go tell him of this: I'll have this knot knit up to-morrow morning.

  Juliet

  I saw him at Friar Lawrence’s cell and told him how I felt without being too forthcoming.

  I met the youthful lord at Lawrence' cell; And gave him what becomed love I might, Not stepping o'er the bounds of modesty.

  Capulet

  That is good. Stand up. Everything is as it should be. Now, go fetch Paris and bring him here. We all owe the friar for this one.

  Why, I am glad on't; this is well,--stand up,-- This is as't should be.--Let me see the county; Ay, marry, go, I say, and fetch him hither.-- Now, afore God, this reverend holy friar, All our whole city is much bound to him.

  Juliet

  Nurse, will you go with me to my closet and help pick out the wedding attire for tomorrow?

  Nurse, will you go with me into my closet, To help me sort such needful ornaments As you think fit to furnish me to-morrow?

  Lady Capulet

  There’s plenty of time. The wedding is not until Thursday.

  No, not till Thursday; there is time enough.

  Capulet

  Go Nurse, go with her. We are going to have the wedding tomorrow.

  Go, nurse, go with her.--We'll to church to-morrow.

  (Exit Juliet and Nurse.)

  Lady Capulet

  We are not going to have enough food for the party. It’s almost night.

  We shall be short in our provision: 'Tis now near night.

  Capulet

  Don’t worry. I will get things ready. I promise. Go help Juliet get ready. I’ll be working all night so don’t expect me to come to bed. I’ll be the housewife for once. Where is everyone? I will go get Paris myself and prepare him for tomorrow. I feel like a heavy weight has been lifted now that my wayward daughter is going to be married.

  Tush, I will stir about, And all things shall be well, I warrant thee, wife: Go thou to Juliet, help to deck up her; I'll not to bed to-night;--let me alone; I'll play the housewife for this once.--What, ho!-- They are all forth: well, I will walk myself To County Paris, to prepare him up Against to-morrow: my heart is wondrous light Since this same wayward girl is so reclaim'd.

  (Exit Capulet.)

  Scene III: Juliet’s bedroom.

  (Enter Juliet and Nurse.)

  Juliet

  Those outfits are best, but gentle Nurse, I need to be alone now. I need time to pray for blessings upon tomorrow because you know I am full of sin.

  Ay, those attires are best:--but, gentle nurse, I pray thee, leave me to myself to-night; For I have need of many orisons To move the heavens to smile upon my state, Which, well thou know'st, is cross and full of sin.

  (Enter Lady Capulet.)

  Lady Capulet

  Are you busy? Do you need my help?

  What, are you busy, ho? need you my help?

  Juliet

  No ma’am. We have figured everything out. So, if you don’t mind, I want to be alone. Let the Nurse stay with you tonight, because I know how busy you are with the preparations.

  No, madam; we have cull'd such necessaries As are behoveful for our state to-morrow: So please you, let me now be left alone, And let the nurse this night sit up with you; For I am sure you have your hands full all In this so sudden business.

  Lady Capulet

  Good night then. Go to bed and get some rest because you are going to need it.

  Good night: Get thee to bed, and rest; for thou hast need.

  (Exit Lady Capulet and Nurse.)

  Juliet

  Goodnight. God only knows when we will see each other again. I am cold with fear. Maybe I’ll call them back. Nurse! Oh, what good can she do me? I must do this alone. Here is the vial. What if this doesn’t work? What if I have to get married tomorrow? I will lay my knife beside me in case it doesn’t. What if this is a poison the friar has given me so he will not be dishonored, because he married me to Romeo? No, he would not do such a terrible thing because he is a righteous man. I will not think negatively of him. What if I wake up in the tomb before Romeo gets there? Will I suffocate in the vault? Or, if I live, be surrounded by the terror of death and darkness, and the dead, decomposing bodies of my ancestors. Perhaps, Tybalt, just now laid to rest, will stir like they say of new spirits. So if I wake early, the terrible smells and spirits’ howls will drive me crazy. I will play with the joints of my ancestors, try to wake Tybalt, and finally bash my brains out with a bone. I think I see Tybalt now, looking for Romeo, his murderer. Stay Tybalt, stay. Romeo, I am coming. I drink to you.

  God knows when we shall meet again. I have a faint cold fear thrills through my veins That almost freezes up the heat of life: I'll call them back again to comfort me;-- Nurse!--What should she do here? My dismal scene I needs must act alone.-- Come, vial.-- What if this mixture do not work at all? Shall I be married, then, to-morrow morning?-- No, No!--this shall forbid it:--lie thou there.-- [Laying down her dagger.] What if it be a poison, which the friar Subtly hath minister'd to have me dead, Lest in this marriage he should be dishonour'd, Because he married me before to Romeo? I fear it is: and yet methinks it should not, For he hath still been tried a holy man:-- I will not entertain so bad a thought.-- How if, when I am laid into the tomb, I wake before the time that Romeo Come to redeem me? there's a fearful point! Shall I not then be stifled in the vault, To whose foul mouth no healthsome air breathes in, And there die strangled ere my Romeo comes? Or, if I live, is it not very like The horrible conceit of death and night, Together with the terror of the place,-- As in a vault, an ancient receptacle, Where, for this many hundred years, the bones Of all my buried ancestors are pack'd; Where bloody Tybalt, yet but green in earth, Lies festering in his shroud; where, as they say, At some hours in the night spirits resort;-- Alack, alack, is it not like that I, So early waking,--what with loathsome smells, And shrieks like mandrakes torn out of the earth, That living mortals, hearing them, run mad;-- O, if I wake, shall I not be distraught, Environed with all these hideous fears? And madly play with my forefathers' joints? And pluck the mangled Tybalt from his shroud? And, in this rage, with some great kinsman's bone, As with a club, dash out my desperate brains?-- O, look! methinks I see my cousin's ghost Seeking out Romeo, that did spit his body Upon a rapier's point:--stay, Tybalt, stay!-- Romeo, I come! this do I drink to thee.

  (Throws herself on the bed.)

  Scene IV: Hall in Capulet’s house.

  (Enter Lady Capulet and Nurse.)

  Lady Capulet

  Nurse, hold these keys and go get more spices.

  Hold, take these keys and fetch more spices, nurse.

  Nurse

  The recipe calls for dates and quinces.

  They call for dates and quinces in the pastry.

  (Enter Capulet.)

  Capulet

  Hurry, hurry! It’s three o’clock already. Get the meats ready, Angelica. Don’t worry about the costs.

  Come, stir, stir, stir! The second
cock hath crow'd, The curfew bell hath rung, 'tis three o'clock:-- Look to the bak'd meats, good Angelica; Spare not for cost.

  Nurse

  Go to bed, you old housewife. You’ll be sick tomorrow, if you stay up all night.

  Go, you cot-quean, go, Get you to bed; faith, you'll be sick to-morrow For this night's watching.

  Capulet

  Nonsense! I have stayed up all night before for much lesser reasons and not been sick.

  No, not a whit: what! I have watch'd ere now All night for lesser cause, and ne'er been sick.

  Lady Capulet

  Yes, you used to chase the ladies once upon a time, but I’ll make sure you don’t anymore.

  Ay, you have been a mouse-hunt in your time; But I will watch you from such watching now.

  (Exit Lady Capulet and Nurse.)

  Capulet

  Jealous, jealous woman. Now, fellow…

  A jealous-hood, a jealous-hood!--Now, fellow,

  (Enter Servants, with spits, logs and baskets.)

  …what do you have there?

  What's there?

  First Servant

  Stuff for the cook, sir. I’m not sure what it is.

  Things for the cook, sir; but I know not what.

  Capulet

  Well, hurry up.

  Make haste, make haste.

  (Exit first Servant.)

  Sir, go get drier logs. Peter can tell you where they are.

  Sirrah, fetch drier logs: Call Peter, he will show thee where they are.

  Second Servant

  I’m not dense, sir. I can find the logs without Peter’s help.

  I have a head, sir, that will find out logs And never trouble Peter for the matter.

  (Exit second Servant.)

  Capulet

  Right, good fellow. He’s funny. Oh my, it is already daylight. Paris will be here with the music soon. I think I hear him coming. (Music plays within.) Nurse! Wife! Nurse!

  Mass, and well said; a merry whoreson, ha! Thou shalt be logger-head.--Good faith, 'tis day. The county will be here with music straight, For so he said he would:--I hear him near. [Music within.] Nurse!--wife!--what, ho!--what, nurse, I say!

  (Enter Nurse.)

  Go wake Juliet. Get her ready. I’ll go and chat with Paris. Hurry up! The groom is here already. Hurry up, I say.

  Go, waken Juliet; go and trim her up; I'll go and chat with Paris:--hie, make haste, Make haste; the bridegroom he is come already: Make haste, I say.

  (Exit all.)

  Scene V: Juliet’s bedroom with Juliet lying on the bed.

  (Enter Nurse.)

  Nurse

  Miss! Miss! Juliet! Hurry, you sleepyhead! Your love has arrived. Wake up, bride! What not a word? Do you want to sleep because you know with Paris, you will not get much sleep? God forgive me! She is sound asleep and I hate to wake her, but I must. Madam, madam! The Count will wake you up soon enough. Are you dressed already and asleep again? You must wake up, lady! Oh, no! My lady is dead! Help! Oh, curse the day I was born! Someone get me a drink! My lord! My lady!

  Mistress!--what, mistress!--Juliet!--fast, I warrant her, she:-- Why, lamb!--why, lady!--fie, you slug-abed!-- Why, love, I say!--madam! sweetheart!--why, bride!-- What, not a word?--you take your pennyworths now; Sleep for a week; for the next night, I warrant, The County Paris hath set up his rest That you shall rest but little.--God forgive me! Marry, and amen, how sound is she asleep! I needs must wake her.--Madam, madam, madam!-- Ay, let the county take you in your bed; He'll fright you up, i' faith.--Will it not be? What, dress'd! and in your clothes! and down again! I must needs wake you.--lady! lady! lady!-- Alas, alas!--Help, help! My lady's dead!-- O, well-a-day that ever I was born!-- Some aqua-vitae, ho!--my lord! my lady!

  (Enter Lady Capulet.)

  Lady Capulet

  What is all the noise in here?

  What noise is here?

  Nurse

  It is a sad day!

  O lamentable day!

  Lady Capulet

  What is the matter?

  What is the matter?

  Nurse

  Look, look! Oh what a terrible day!

  Look, look! O heavy day!

  Lady Capulet

  Oh me, oh me! My child, my only child! Wake her up or I will die right here! Help, help! Get some help!

  O me, O me!--my child, my only life! Revive, look up, or I will die with thee!-- Help, help!--call help.

  (Enter Capulet.)

  Capulet

  Be ashamed of yourself. Hurry up and bring Juliet!

  For shame, bring Juliet forth; her lord is come.

  Nurse

  She is dead. Deceased. Dead. Curse the day!

  She's dead, deceas'd, she's dead; alack the day!

  Lady Capulet

  Curse the day. She is dead! She is dead!

  Alack the day, she's dead, she's dead, she's dead!

  Capulet

  Ha! Let me see her. She’s cold. Her heart has stopped and her body is stiff. She has been dead for some time now. She is as dead as the sweetest flower in a field of frost. Cursed time! I am an unfortunate man!

  Ha! let me see her:--out alas! she's cold; Her blood is settled, and her joints are stiff; Life and these lips have long been separated: Death lies on her like an untimely frost Upon the sweetest flower of all the field. Accursed time! unfortunate old man!

  Nurse

  Oh, what a sad day!

  O lamentable day!

  Lady Capulet

  Oh, what a dreadful day!

  O woful time!

  Capulet

  I am speechless.

  Death, that hath ta'en her hence to make me wail, Ties up my tongue and will not let me speak.

  (Enter Friar Lawrence and Paris, with Musicians.)

  Friar Lawrence

  Hey, is the bride ready to go to the church?

  Come, is the bride ready to go to church?

  Capulet

  She is ready to go, but she will not be returning. Oh my son, the night before your wedding day, your bride has died. There she is. Death, who stole her innocence, is my son-in-law now. Death is my heir. I believe I will die. Death is all there is left.

  Ready to go, but never to return:-- O son, the night before thy wedding day Hath death lain with thy bride:--there she lies, Flower as she was, deflowered by him. Death is my son-in-law, death is my heir; My daughter he hath wedded: I will die. And leave him all; life, living, all is death's.

  Paris

  I have waited so long for this day and this is what I get.

  Have I thought long to see this morning's face, And doth it give me such a sight as this?

  Lady Capulet

  Curse this awful, dreadful day! This is the most miserable hour time I ever saw. My one and only child, the one thing I had to rejoice, and death has taken her from me.

  Accurs'd, unhappy, wretched, hateful day! Most miserable hour that e'er time saw In lasting labour of his pilgrimage! But one, poor one, one poor and loving child, But one thing to rejoice and solace in, And cruel death hath catch'd it from my sight!

  Nurse

  Oh, terrible, terrible day! The saddest day! The most painful day, I have ever lived. Oh, hateful day! I have never seen a blacker day than this. Oh, painful day!

  O woe! O woeful, woeful, woeful day! Most lamentable day, most woeful day That ever, ever, I did yet behold! O day! O day! O day! O hateful day! Never was seen so black a day as this: O woeful day! O woeful day!

  Paris

  Tricked, divorced, wronged, spited, now dead! Death has stolen my love. Oh, love of my life! My love is dead!

  Beguil'd, divorced, wronged, spited, slain! Most detestable death, by thee beguil'd, By cruel cruel thee quite overthrown!-- O love! O life!--not life, but love in death!

  Capulet

  Despised, distressed, hated, martyred, killed! What a terrible time! Why now? Why does my only child have to die? My child! Oh, child! Take my soul and not my child’s. My child is dead and so is my joy.


  Despis'd, distressed, hated, martyr'd, kill'd!-- Uncomfortable time, why cam'st thou now To murder, murder our solemnity?-- O child! O child!--my soul, and not my child!-- Dead art thou, dead!--alack, my child is dead; And with my child my joys are buried!

  Friar Lawrence

  Be at peace, now. What a shame! But, we can’t solve anything with all of this confusion. She was a gift from heaven, and now to heaven, she has returned. She is better off. She has eternal life. All you wanted was for her to be married. That was your idea of heaven, but you cry because she has inherited the true heaven. Your love for her makes you crazy. It is better to die young. Dry up your tears and bring your best rosemary to place on her corpse. Take her to the church in her best clothes as the customs demand. Although we are sad, we should be happy for her.

  Peace, ho, for shame! confusion's cure lives not In these confusions. Heaven and yourself Had part in this fair maid; now heaven hath all, And all the better is it for the maid: Your part in her you could not keep from death; But heaven keeps his part in eternal life. The most you sought was her promotion; For 'twas your heaven she should be advanc'd: And weep ye now, seeing she is advanc'd Above the clouds, as high as heaven itself? O, in this love, you love your child so ill That you run mad, seeing that she is well: She's not well married that lives married long: But she's best married that dies married young. Dry up your tears, and stick your rosemary On this fair corse; and, as the custom is, In all her best array bear her to church; For though fond nature bids us all lament, Yet nature's tears are reason's merriment.

  Capulet

  Everything we prepared for the celebration is now for a funeral. Change the happy music to sad, the wedding food to a burial feast, and the bridal flowers to a funeral spray. Just reverse everything.

  All things that we ordained festival Turn from their office to black funeral: Our instruments to melancholy bells; Our wedding cheer to a sad burial feast; Our solemn hymns to sullen dirges change; Our bridal flowers serve for a buried corse, And all things change them to the contrary.