The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated)
Page 636
The one is filling still, never complete;
The other, at high wish: best state, contentless,
Hath a distracted and most wretched being,
Worse than the worst, content.
Thou shouldst desire to die, being miserable.
If you assumed this sour cold dress to
punish your pride, that would be good: but you
do it from necessity; you would be a courtier again,
if you weren't a beggar. Gladly accepted misery
is better than uncertain wealth, the gods prefer it;
one is always trying to get more, never satisfied,
the other is as complete as you could wish: the man in
the best position without happiness is completely wretched,
much worse than someone in a terrible position who is happy.
You should want to die, as you're miserable.
TIMON
Not by his breath that is more miserable.
Thou art a slave, whom Fortune's tender arm
With favour never clasp'd; but bred a dog.
Hadst thou, like us from our first swath, proceeded
The sweet degrees that this brief world affords
To such as may the passive drugs of it
Freely command, thou wouldst have plunged thyself
In general riot; melted down thy youth
In different beds of lust; and never learn'd
The icy precepts of respect, but follow'd
The sugar'd game before thee. But myself,
Who had the world as my confectionary,
The mouths, the tongues, the eyes and hearts of men
At duty, more than I could frame employment,
That numberless upon me stuck as leaves
Do on the oak, hive with one winter's brush
Fell from their boughs and left me open, bare
For every storm that blows: I, to bear this,
That never knew but better, is some burden:
Thy nature did commence in sufferance, time
Hath made thee hard in't. Why shouldst thou hate men?
They never flatter'd thee: what hast thou given?
If thou wilt curse, thy father, that poor rag,
Must be thy subject, who in spite put stuff
To some she beggar and compounded thee
Poor rogue hereditary. Hence, be gone!
If thou hadst not been born the worst of men,
Thou hadst been a knave and flatterer.
Not on the advice of someone who is more miserable.
You are a slave, whom fortune has never
embraced; she made you a dog.
Had you been from birth, like me, given
all the sweet things that this short life allows
to those who have access to its
sweet things, you would have thrown yourself
in with gusto; you would have wasted your youth
in various lustful beds; you would never have learned
to see everything in proportion, but enjoyed
all the sweetness offered to you. But I,
for whom the whole world was a sweet shop,
had the mouths, tongues, eyes and hearts of men
at my service, more than I could find work for,
an infinite number covering me like leaves
on an oak tree; at the first touch of winter
they fell from their branches and left me exposed
to every storm that blows: for me to bear this,
having only known better days, is a great burden:
your life began with suffering, time
has hardened you to it. Why should you hate men?
They never flattered you: what have you given?
If you want to apportion blame your poor rag of a father
must be your subject, who out of spite impregnated
some female beggar and made you,
a poor rogue by birth. Get out of here!
If you hadn't been born in the lowest situation
you would have been a knave and a flatterer.
APEMANTUS
Art thou proud yet?
Are you still proud?
TIMON
Ay, that I am not thee.
Yes, that I am not you.
APEMANTUS
I, that I was
No prodigal.
I’m proud that I didn't
throw money around.
TIMON
I, that I am one now:
Were all the wealth I have shut up in thee,
I'ld give thee leave to hang it. Get thee gone.
That the whole life of Athens were in this!
Thus would I eat it.
I’m proud I did:
if all the wealth I have was in your body,
I'd give you permission to hang yourself. Go away.
I wish all the lives in Athens were in this root!
I would eat it like this.
Eating a root
APEMANTUS
Here; I will mend thy feast.
Here; I will improve your feast.
Offering him a root
TIMON
First mend my company, take away thyself.
First improve my company, by going away.
APEMANTUS
So I shall mend mine own, by the lack of thine.
That way I would improve my own, by not having yours.
TIMON
'Tis not well mended so, it is but botch'd;
if not, I would it were.
That wouldn't mend it, just botch it up;
whatever the case, I wish you would do it.
APEMANTUS
What wouldst thou have to Athens?
What would you like to give to Athens?
TIMON
Thee thither in a whirlwind. If thou wilt,
Tell them there I have gold; look, so I have.
You, in the middle of a whirlwind. If you want,
tell the people there that I have gold; look, I have.
APEMANTUS
Here is no use for gold.
Gold is useless here.
TIMON
The best and truest;
For here it sleeps, and does no hired harm.
It has its best and truest use here;
it sleeps here, and can't buy any evil.
APEMANTUS
Where liest o' nights, Timon?
Where do you sleep at night, Timon?
TIMON
Under that's above me.
Where feed'st thou o' days, Apemantus?
Out in the open air.
Where do you eat in the day, Apemantus?
APEMANTUS
Where my stomach finds meat; or, rather, where I eat
it.
Wherever my stomach finds food; or, rather, where I eat
it.
TIMON
Would poison were obedient and knew my mind!
I wish I had control of poison!
APEMANTUS
Where wouldst thou send it?
Where would you send it?
TIMON
To sauce thy dishes.
To spice up your food.
APEMANTUS
The middle of humanity thou never knewest, but the
extremity of both ends: when thou wast in thy gilt
and thy perfume, they mocked thee for too much
curiosity; in thy rags thou knowest none, but art
despised for the contrary. There's a medlar for
thee, eat it.
You never knew the middle road of humanity, just the
highest and lowest: when you had all your fine clothes
and your perfume, you were mocked for being too
delicate; in your rags you have no delicacy, and are
despised for it. There's a medlar for you,
eat it.
TIMON
On what I hate I feed not.
I don't eat what I hate.
APEM
ANTUS
Dost hate a medlar?
You hate a medlar?
TIMON
Ay, though it look like thee.
Yes, though it looks like you.
APEMANTUS
An thou hadst hated meddlers sooner, thou shouldst
have loved thyself better now. What man didst thou
ever know unthrift that was beloved after his means?
If you had hated meddlers earlier, you would
love yourself better now. Did you ever know a
profligate man who was loved once his money was gone?
TIMON
Who, without those means thou talkest of, didst thou
ever know beloved?
Did you ever know anyone who was loved who didn't
have the money that you talk about?
APEMANTUS
Myself.
Me.
TIMON
I understand thee; thou hadst some means to keep a
dog.
I understand you; you had just enough money to keep a
dog.
APEMANTUS
What things in the world canst thou nearest compare
to thy flatterers?
What is there in the world that you can most closely
compare to your flatterers?
TIMON
Women nearest; but men, men are the things
themselves. What wouldst thou do with the world,
Apemantus, if it lay in thy power?
Women are closest; but men, men are all complete
flatterers. What would you do with the world,
Apemantus, if you had the power?
APEMANTUS
Give it the beasts, to be rid of the men.
I'd give it to the animals, to get rid of men.
TIMON
Wouldst thou have thyself fall in the confusion of
men, and remain a beast with the beasts?
Would you like to be part of the fall of man,
and remain an animal with the other animals?
APEMANTUS
Ay, Timon.
Yes, Timon.
TIMON
A beastly ambition, which the gods grant thee t'
attain to! If thou wert the lion, the fox would
beguile thee; if thou wert the lamb, the fox would
eat thee: if thou wert the fox, the lion would
suspect thee, when peradventure thou wert accused by
the ass: if thou wert the ass, thy dulness would
torment thee, and still thou livedst but as a
breakfast to the wolf: if thou wert the wolf, thy
greediness would afflict thee, and oft thou shouldst
hazard thy life for thy dinner: wert thou the
unicorn, pride and wrath would confound thee and
make thine own self the conquest of thy fury: wert
thou a bear, thou wouldst be killed by the horse:
wert thou a horse, thou wouldst be seized by the
leopard: wert thou a leopard, thou wert german to
the lion and the spots of thy kindred were jurors on
thy life: all thy safety were remotion and thy
defence absence. What beast couldst thou be, that
were not subject to a beast? and what a beast art
thou already, that seest not thy loss in
transformation!
A horrible desire, may the gods grant it to you!
If you were a lion, you would be tricked
by a fox; if you were a lamb, the fox would
eat you; if you were a fox, the lion would
suspect you, if you happen to be accused by
the ass; if you were an ass, your stupidity would
torment you, and all you would be living for would be to
make a breakfast for the wolf; if you were a wolf, your
greediness would torture you, and you would often
risk your life for your dinner; if you were a
unicorn, pride and anger would confuse you and
you would cause your own downfall in your anger; if you were
a bear, you would be killed by a horse;
if you were a horse, you would be taken by a
leopard; if you were a leopard, you would be related to
the lion and you would be punished for his transgressions;
the only way you could be safe would be to run away,
being absent would be your defence. What animal could you be,
that didn't suffer at the hands of another animal? And what
an animal you are already, if you can't see that you would be
worse off as an animal!
APEMANTUS
If thou couldst please me with speaking to me, thou
mightst have hit upon it here: the commonwealth of
Athens is become a forest of beasts.
If anything you said could please me, you
might have just said it: the state of
Athens has become a forest of animals.
TIMON
How has the ass broke the wall, that thou art out of the city?
How did the ass break through the wall, to let you out of the city?
APEMANTUS
Yonder comes a poet and a painter: the plague of
company light upon thee! I will fear to catch it
and give way: when I know not what else to do, I'll
see thee again.
Here comes a poet and painter: may the plague of
society land on you! I don't want to catch it
so I'll go: when I can't think of anything else to do, I'll
come back and see you.
TIMON
When there is nothing living but thee, thou shalt be
welcome. I had rather be a beggar's dog than Apemantus.
When you are the last living creature, you will be
welcome. I would rather be a beggar's dog than Apemantus.
APEMANTUS
Thou art the cap of all the fools alive.
You are the King of fools.
TIMON
Would thou wert clean enough to spit upon!
I wish you were clean enough to spit on!
APEMANTUS
A plague on thee! thou art too bad to curse.
A plague on you! You are too wicked for simple curses.
TIMON
All villains that do stand by thee are pure.
Any villain standing next to you would look pure in comparison.
APEMANTUS
There is no leprosy but what thou speak'st.
There is no leprosy to compare with what you say.
TIMON
If I name thee.
I'll beat thee, but I should infect my hands.
If I say your name.
I would beat you, but I don't want to catch anything.
APEMANTUS
I would my tongue could rot them off!
I wish my tongue could rot your hands off!
TIMON
Away, thou issue of a mangy dog!
Choler does kill me that thou art alive;
I swound to see thee.
Get lost, you son of a bitch!
It tortures me to see that you are alive;
it makes me faint to see you.
APEMANTUS
Would thou wouldst burst!
I wish you would burst!
TIMON
Away,
Thou tedious rogue! I am sorry I shall lose
A stone by thee.
Get lost,
you tedious scoundrel! I am sorry to have to waste
a stone on you.
Throws a stone at him
APEMANTUS
Beast!
Animal!
TIMON
Slave!
Slave!
APEMANTUS
Toad!
Toad!
TIMON
Rogue, rogue, rogue!
I am sick of this false world, and wil
l love nought
But even the mere necessities upon 't.
Then, Timon, presently prepare thy grave;
Lie where the light foam the sea may beat
Thy grave-stone daily: make thine epitaph,
That death in me at others' lives may laugh.
To the gold
O thou sweet king-killer, and dear divorce
'Twixt natural son and sire! thou bright defiler
Of Hymen's purest bed! thou valiant Mars!
Thou ever young, fresh, loved and delicate wooer,
Whose blush doth thaw the consecrated snow
That lies on Dian's lap! thou visible god,
That solder'st close impossibilities,
And makest them kiss! that speak'st with
every tongue,
To every purpose! O thou touch of hearts!
Think, thy slave man rebels, and by thy virtue
Set them into confounding odds, that beasts
May have the world in empire!
Rogue, rogue, rogue!
I am sick of this false world, and will love nothing
except the necessities of life.
So, Timon, go and dig your own grave at once;
put it where the light foam of the sea can wash
against your gravestone daily: make your epitaph
that through me death is laughing at the lives of others.
[To the gold]
Oh you sweet killer of kings, that causes division
between fathers and their natural sons! You bright polluter