Upon the Stars (Love Lines Book 5)

by Diana Nixon

  I stepped closer and wrapped my arms around her, trying to comfort her, but more than that, I was looking for comfort myself. And Eileen, of all people, knew how desperate I was in my misery. She knew everything about my story with Tara. She knew I never stopped caring for her.

  I let her in and we talked and talked, and talked some more, until I felt like I was about to pass out any second. The amount of alcohol in my blood finally took over and I welcomed the dizziness, hoping it would take away at least a part of my misery. I hated being helpless.

  “I can’t believe she never stopped loving you,” Eileen said in a whisper. She was sitting on a sofa, with my head resting on her knees. I was glad that Eileen had come to stay with me. I don’t think I would be able to see or talk to anyone but her right now.

  “Neither can I,” I said, closing my eyes. I felt the magic of sleep swallowing my conciseness. My thoughts were blurred, but still full of memories of Tara. Maybe I would see her in my dream?

  “What did Marion do to her body?” Eileen asked.

  “She charmed it. I’m sure it was Tara’s idea. She didn’t want anyone to cry over her death. She knew we have already been through losing her once, she didn’t want us to suffer anymore.

  “This is so like her…” Eileen smoothed my hair, as if I were a kid, crying over losing his favorite toy and who needed to feel the warmth of someone who cared about him. “Hey, why don’t you go to bed and get some sleep?” She asked.

  “What about you? Will you stay here?” Somehow, I didn’t want Eileen to leave. Her presence made me feel better. At least I knew I wouldn’t try to do anything stupid knowing that she would be there to stop me.

  “I will stay. I don’t think I can face anyone right now. Besides, Christian is helping his father with one of his new projects for the history classes. So I’m all yours for the rest of the day.”

  I smiled. “Thank you.”

  Eileen and Tara were good friends. I knew Eileen grieved over losing her almost as much as I did. I didn’t hide my feelings, and neither did she. Maybe it was a little selfish, but sharing what I was feeling helped me keep my sanity and to not lose my mind because of how terribly broken I was.

  We talk about everything, but never once did we mention Amanda. Eileen knew I was not ready to answer any questions about her. I just needed some time to get a grip on myself and think about what to do with my life.

  “Make yourself at home,” I said, going to my bed. My legs hardly cooperated, but I managed to get there without knocking anything down, and that was the best I could do for now. “There’s tea and coffee in the cupboard, if you need it.”

  “Don’t worry. I’m fine. I will just sit here…and read.” She went to my desk and took the first book that came to her hand. “The Art of Magic,” she read the title. “I hope it will be entertaining.”

  “I don’t think so. The book has always bored me death.”

  She smirked. “I guess reading is one of a very few powers that you don’t possess, Evan. But I’ll give it a try anyway.”

  “Have fun.” I turned away from Eileen and let sleep swallow me. It was such a relief to know that for the next couple of hours or so I wouldn’t need to think. I was so tired of everything. I just wanted to get some rest.

  I didn’t expect anyone to break into my dreams, but Maribel thought it was a perfect time to pay me another visit.

  “Evan!” She called my name.

  I opened my eyes and blinked from the blinding sun, shining above my head. Once again did I find myself on the beach where Maribel took me the last time she created an illusion for me.

  “I’m not in the mood for chatting, sorry,” I said, thinking of how fast I would be able to break out of the damn illusion and get back under the warmth of my blanket.

  “I know. But there’s something very important that I need to tell you.”

  “What is it?”

  “I can help you find Carine Verbeke.”

  I frowned, recalling the name from my conversation with Tara. “The Mistress?”

  “Yes. Your mother gave me her name.”

  “And she got it from Tara, I suppose?”

  Maribel nodded. She looked carefully at me, obviously choosing her next words, “I’m sorry about Tara. I didn’t know her in person, but I know she was a good girl.”

  I nodded absently. Even in the illusion, my mind was still blurred by the alcohol, even though after I turned into the Master of Lords, its effect on me was not as strong as it used to be before my life turned into a complete mess.

  “Carine has been trying to contact William,” Maribel said. “Well, not that she did that openly, of course.”

  “You mean she’s been messing with his head, right? Wait a second, how do you know she tried to contact him?”

  “I know everything that is going on in my son’s head. I don’t spy on him or anything, but from time to time, I get into his dreams to make sure that he’s okay.”

  “I see. So how do I find her?”

  “Tell William to let her into his mind. She will talk to him.”

  “Why doesn’t she talk to me in person?”

  “She’s afraid of you. You are the Master of Lords after all. And just like us - Mistresses - you are damn good in masterminding.”

  “But I can’t mastermind Mistresses.”

  “Actually, you can… But for that, you will need to, you know… Become physically involved with one of us.”

  “Oh…Okay. I got it.”

  “Since Carine and Allister- the man who planned the attack - used to be lovers, and she can find him anytime she wants, she can be very helpful.”

  “Shall we invite her to Dever?”

  “I think it’s a good idea. Allister will follow her anywhere, once she uses her power of masterminding on him.”

  “Can’t she tell him to jump off the cliff, or something? You know, to make our job in kicking his ass easier.”

  “Unlike Lords, Mistresses can’t make men risk their lives for them.”

  “Your loss, ladies.”

  Maribel smiled. “I’m glad to know you that your sense of humor is still alive.”

  “Unlike all those people I cared and have lost for the last couple of years…”

  “There are things that can’t be changed, Evan.”

  I laughed hysterically. “I have heard this shit way too many times recently.” Being polite or watching my language were not on my to-do list that night.

  “You will be fine. Trust me.”

  “I promised Tara I would start it all over again, for the hundredth time…”

  “And you will keep that promise, won’t you?”

  “Does it look like I have a choice?”

  I was getting tired of this conversation. I just wanted everyone to leave me alone, at least until l felt like waking up and facing a new day.

  “Don’t blame yourself, Evan. What happened to Tara was not your fault.”

  “If there’s nothing else that you wanted to talk to me about, I’d really want to get back to my bed and enjoy the rest of my sleep.”

  “Of course. As you wish.”

  “I will tell William about Carine.”

  As soon as I said those words, the illusion broke, and I immediately felt better, as if in Maribel’s presence I couldn’t relax. Well, partially, it was true. Just like the last time we met, today I felt a little uncomfortable around her. Like she could actually make me fall in love with her, or something. Obviously, all men, including the Lords, were a little helpless when it came to resisting Mistresses’ charm.

  Good news, I didn’t have any more visitors for the rest of my sleep. So when I woke up, about ten hours later – which, I must admit, was the longest sleep I got in what felt like forever - I felt so much better. To my huge disappointment, there was no sign of Eileen in the room. But there was a note left on my desk.

  “Went to talk to the tribe. Will be back by midnight. Hope you slept well.”

  I looked at my watch; i
t was almost eleven in the evening.

  I thought for a moment, not sure what to do. Getting back to sleep was not an option, since I was obviously more than awake to stay up for the next twenty-four hours or so. So I decided to call William.

  “Just don’t tell me you’ve missed me,” he said, answering the call.

  “Hello to you too, Bro. And no, I haven’t missed you, but I need to talk to you.”

  I heard a weird noise in the background. Apparently, Will was not alone at the moment.

  “Am I interrupting something?” I asked.

  “Yes. I’ve been trying to talk a couple of ten-o’clock girls to entertain me.”

  I smirked. “I’m sure Mel would be happy to hear more about it.”

  Will spoke, “I was just kidding. As a matter of fact, I’m in the lair of one of the most numerous New York hermits clan. And they are not cooperating.”

  “Oh, shit… Do you want anyone to come and take you out of there?”

  “No, thanks. I have met someone I think will help me out.”

  “If you are talking about one of those mentioned above ten-o’clock girls, I think we’d better send some help your way. I don’t think they are capable of anything but taking your pants off.”

  Will chuckled. “I was actually talking about an old friend of mine.”

  “Something’s telling me it’s a girl. Is she a hermit?”

  “Yep.”

  “I didn’t know your life in New York had been that boring.”

  “Oh, shut up, Evan. It’s all about business.”

  “Right. Anyway, your personal life is not what I wanted to talk about.”

  “Figures. What do you really want?”

  “I have heard about some problems of yours, or to be exact – about a Mistress messing with your head.”

  “And where exactly have you heard about it? Did Eileen tell you something? Because she was the only person who knew about it.”

  “Eileen? No. I’ve heard about it from someone else.”

  There was a long pause on the other end of the line. Then Will spoke again, “Did you talk to my mother?”

  “Um, yeah… She was here. I mean, she visited me in my dream.”

  Another long pause followed. I bet Will wanted to ask why she didn’t want to talk to him, and chose me instead. But he didn’t say a word about that.

  “So what about the Mistress?” He asked.

  “Her name is Carine Verbeke.”

  “I know. I have heard that name during one of her visits.”

  “I see. Well, your mother says you need to open your mind for Carine and talk to her. Turns out she can help us find the man standing behind the wedding attack.”

  “No, really?”

  “Yeah. So next time you feel her, don’t hesitate to invite her for a cup of imaginary tea.”

  “Okay, I’ll do that.”

  “And one more thing, Will… Be careful, okay? We don’t need another death to deal with.”

  “Have I missed something?”

  Sooner or later, everyone would find out about Tara, so I thought there was no point in hiding it from Will.

  “Tara’s gone,” I said, hardly able to make myself say that aloud.

  “Oh, no… I’m so sorry, man. I know you two were close. When did that happen?”

  “This morning.”

  “How did Amanda take the news?”

  “She doesn’t know. No one except Eileen and me do. We didn’t have a chance to tell anyone about Tara.”

  “I see... Anyway, I’ll be back by tomorrow night, hopefully. And I’m bringing a friend with me, so ask someone to prepare a room for her.”

  “Okay, I will.”

  We said goodbye and Will got back to his spy work on the hermits clan. As far as I knew, those living in New York were not such sick bastards as those who came to Tara’s wedding. At least I hoped Will would be able to make them play for our team, and not for the crazy Clarions.

  Someone knocked at the door. I thought it was Eileen, so I didn’t care to check on the guest’s energy first.

  “Finally, you are back,” I said, opening the door.

  “Hey,” Amanda said.

  “Oh… I thought it was Eileen.”

  “May I come in?”

  “Sure.”

  Amanda looked like she didn’t know if she should be here now. Though I made sure none of my feelings would pass to her. She didn’t need to know about them.

  “How was your day?” She asked.

  I cleared my throat before saying, “Eventful.”

  She turned to look at me, and I noticed that she was a little nervous.

  “Is everything all right?” I asked.

  She forced a smile. “I was going to ask you the same question. I didn’t feel you, and Eileen wasn’t there to tell me what was going on, so I thought I would just…come here and talk to you.”

  “I’ve been away for the biggest part of the day. Well, mentally mostly.”

  “Did your mother try to contact you again?”

  “Not exactly… I was in the illusion created by Marion.”

  “Did she let you see Tara?”

  “Yes, but…”

  “How is she?”

  “She’s…gone.”

  “What do you mean she’s gone?”

  “Tara died this morning.”

  Amanda gasped, covering her mouth with both hands. Her eyes filled with tears. “I can’t believe it… Did you get a chance to talk to her?”

  “Yes. We talked.” I didn’t say anything else. But it was not needed. Amanda knew I must have been shattered by what happened to Tara.

  “Oh, Evan…” She came to me and wrapped her arms around me.

  I thought I wasn’t ready to see Amanda or talk to her, but the moment I felt her warmth embrace me, I realized that it was exactly what I needed.

  I pressed her to my chest, letting her love for me cure the bleeding wounds that my heart was covered with. They still hurt like hell, but it was not something that could be changed in just a few hours.

  It was so good to hold Amanda in my arms again. Until this very moment, I didn’t realize how much I loved her. The mere thought of losing her too, made me sick. Maybe deep down inside I still had feelings for Tara, or maybe it was just the guilt that I didn’t know how to take out of my heart, but with the magical bond or without it, my love for Amanda was very strong. Stronger than I could have ever imagined it to be.

  I moved so I could see her face and smiled, saying, “Thank you for coming. I don’t think I would have found enough courage to see you tonight.”

  “I knew something was wrong with you, even though I didn’t feel anything.”

  “You are so much braver than I am.”

  She smiled and kissed me on the lips. There wasn’t anything passionate about that kiss. It was supposed to comfort me, and it worked.

  “Do you want me to leave?” She asked. “I can stop by in the morning…”

  “No,” I said firmly. “Stay.”

  She nodded and I pulled her into my embrace again.

  We stayed like that for a few moments, then I went to start a fire in the fireplace. Amanda and I sat in front of it, welcoming the warmth coming from it.

  We didn’t talk. But the silence, as well as Amanda’s presence didn’t bother me. On the contrary – she made me feel alive. It was so good to know that a part of me – the one that preferred living in the present and not in my past – was still able to feel things, love and hope for something good.

  My dreams could be purely nightmares. I could still be broken and feel myself lost; I could still be haunted by the memories of my time with Tara, but I wasn’t going to give up on myself. Because underneath it all, I wanted to live, a long and happy life. And I wanted to love.

  I would pick myself up, again, piece by piece, no matter how huge the hole inside me was. I would forgive myself and let my guilt go, sooner or later. I just needed a little more time…

  I knew Ei
leen would never tell anyone about what Tara told me. I was thankful for the time she spent with me today. At least with her, I didn’t need to pretend. She knew the real me; I could be myself with her, talk nonsense, cry and not even for a second feel like I was not man enough to keep my emotions to myself. She was just that good in reading me, as if I were an open book for her. Sometimes I hated it, but on days like today, I welcomed it more than anything.

  As for Amanda, I knew she would love me, as if nothing had ever happened. With her by my side, I wouldn’t need to be afraid of losing myself again. She would give me all the time I needed to come to understanding everything that had happed to Tara. She would give me time to accept the fact of her death. And she would wait for the moment I would be ready to start writing a new chapter in my life, with her…

  Chapter 16

  Eileen

  Reading one of Evan’s textbooks, the one that ‘always bored him to death’ turned out to be very useful. One of the chapters was telling about the magical bonds. I knew a lot about how they worked, considering I myself was a part of one of them. But there was one thing that sounded new to me. According to the book, supernatural bonds are not always created with the help of magic, they can be inherited as well. But I had never met anyone whose bond could be hereditary.

  That’s why I thought about the Waroi clan. They had that special powers no one else from our world possessed. They didn’t use any traditional magical rituals or spells, but I was sure they did have a bond that worked differently from anything I had even seen in my life.

  I left Evan a note, saying I would come back by midnight, even though it was almost ten in the evening, and left to see the tribe. To my surprise, Christian didn’t mind me leaving Dever that late in the night; for a moment, I thought he was glad to know that I was no longer an enemy of the tribe and that my friendship with Tai was getting stronger.

  I was still sure Christian had been hiding something from me. I had never seen him training so much, or working with his father on the secret projects that no one knew anything about. If I didn’t know better, I would say they were plotting something. Naturally, I didn’t want to think that the something was not going to involve me.

  I stopped in the middle of the road, not sure where to go. It was dark in the forest, but I had a flashlight with me. I looked to the right, then to the left, trying to feel the traces of Tai’s magic. They would lead me to the tribe. But to my surprise, I didn’t feel anything.