by Donna Fasano
“Bagels and juice and fruit. All packed in your saddlebags.” He was utterly amazed that he was able to respond in such a normal manner.
“I’m a beginner at this riding stuff, myself,” Nicki reminded him, patting his hand where it rested on her leg.
With the heat of her thigh beneath his hand and the softness of her warm palm above it, he was sure his entire body would burst into flame at any moment. Spontaneous combustion. He slid his hand free and took a backward step.
He grinned as he gathered Blaze’s reins in his hand, hoping to cover the chaotic physical response to her nearness. “I’ll remember that I have two amateurs with me this morning.”
They experienced one hair-raising moment when Sona cried out in fear as Sean hoisted himself up into the saddle. But once they were settled and he’d murmured some assurances to his daughter, she quieted, her tiny hands gripping her daddy’s shoulders.
The trails were dappled with sunlight and colorful flowers sprouted here and there among the lush, green underbrush. Oak trees and evergreens towered above them, offering them cool shade from the summer heat.
After a twenty-minute ride during which they had met only a solitary jogger on the wide-open paths of the park, Sean suggested, “How ’bout we stop here and eat?”
“Sounds good,” Nicki told him. Making the dismount look as sweet as a slice of apple pie, she hopped to the ground and looped Pepper’s reins over a low-hanging branch.
Meaning to warn Sona that they were about to dismount, Sean said, “We’re getting down, sweetheart.” Without waiting for Nicki to translate his words, he swung his leg over the saddle.
Pain shot through his head and he squished his eyes shut, grimacing.
“Whoa,” he cried out, reaching up and gently encircling his daughter’s little wrists.
Nicki clapped a quelling hand over her mouth, but not in time to hold back her impulsive laughter. Ignoring the subsiding pain, he cocked his head and fixed her with a glare that had her trying even more valiantly to suppress her humor.
“Well,” she finally said, “I think Sona found the perfect safety handles.”
“Those are not handles,” he said, gritting his teeth as he extricated himself from his daughter’s death grip. “They’re my ears.”
Amusement evidently got the best of Nicki and she broke out in bubbling laughter. She kept trying to hold it off, but little by little it got the best of her. Sona joined in, seemingly quite delighted that she’d caused such a stir in the adults.
“Would you please help get this little urchin off my back?” he asked.
Nicki continued to chortle intermittently as she unfastened Sona’s restraining belt and pulled the child free. All Sean could do was rub his flaming ears.
Sona toddled off toward the picnic table, stopping along the way to investigate pinecones and pebbles and whatever else she could find on the ground. Sean tried to wiggle out of the harness, but one strap caught on his shoulder. Without being asked, Nicki came to his rescue. She peeled the canvas harness off his back and tossed it over his horse’s saddle.
Planting his hands on his waist, he arched his back, stretching the muscles. He bent his neck one way then the other, working out the strain and kinks. Sensing Nicki slipping up behind him, he stilled when he felt the warmth of her palms slide over his tense shoulder muscles.
She kneaded his neck and upper back, digging her thumbs in at just the right places. He was able to stifle the groan of gratification that welled in his throat, but he did allow his eyelids to ease shut. Nicki had magic fingers. However, her gentle touch alone—without any rubbing or massaging—would have made him dizzy with pleasure. Sensual pleasure.
Then he felt her feather light fingertips gently tracing the outer rim of his left ear. His throat went dry and he stopped breathing, waiting.
“The redness is going away,” she whispered. Her tone turned light and deliciously teasing as she added. “I do believe you’re going to live.”
Her voice was close behind him, and it sent a luscious chill raking down every single vertebra of his spine. Wisps of fire flickered deep in his belly, licking at him, rousing a heated passion within him. He wanted to hold her close. Inhale the scent of her hair and skin. Touch the full length of her elegant neck with his fingers, with his lips. And in that one insane instant, he surrendered to the urges that tormented him.
With no warning, he turned, smiling at the surprise that registered on her lovely face, grasping her upper arms so she couldn’t step away from him. Her emerald eyes went wide, and the desire flaring inside him forced his smile to wane.
“The morning sunlight turns your hair to copper flames,” he murmured, sure that the metaphor was provoked by the profound fire burning in him—the fire that blazed hotter with each passing second.
Sean pulled her up against his chest, barely touched his nose to her temple. “And you smell wonderful.”
She felt small in his arms. Delicate. And quivery. Like a fragile flower bud. Coaxing that bud to open to him suddenly seemed the most important goal on this earth.
He ran the tip of his nose down along her face, from temple to jaw line and then back up, daring to stroke her cheekbone with first the feathery touch of his chin, and then the light press of his lips. Her skin was as smooth and as pale as polished alabaster.
Inhaling deeply, fully, he was content at this moment to simply be near her. However, that contentment diminished swiftly, and he felt a terrible need to taste her, to touch her.
Sliding his fingers up behind her ear and into her silky tresses, he studied her eyes, wanting to gauge her reaction to what was happening between them. Wanting to gauge her reaction to him.
His newly formed daddy instinct had him darting a quick glance at his daughter, who was busying herself gathering a pile of pinecones and acorns, sticks and small rocks, so Sean felt safe focusing his attention once more on Nicki, assessing her response, discovering exactly what it was she was feeling.
Her expression was unreadable at first. Filled with a dark and thrilling mystery he wanted desperately to solve. Then he deciphered multilayers of complex emotion.
Uncertainty. Confusion. Wonder. Astonishment. Doubt. Was that a touch of fear? he wondered.
Then he saw it. Desire. Rich, heady and deep.
The passion he read in her gaze wavered, seemed to teeter on the very edge of her consciousness, as if she wasn’t sure she should—or even wanted to—feel it. But it was there in her eyes, in her shallow breath, in her trembling body.
As if to confirm his thoughts, she softly whispered, “We shouldn’t, Sean. We really shouldn’t.”
When she spoke the word shouldn’t, her luscious lips puckered oh-so-slightly and he felt that if he didn’t kiss her—then and there—that he’d surely shrivel into nothingness and disappear completely.
“I don’t give a damn,” he said, the overwhelming passion turning his tone to a growl. Staring deeply into her eyes, he asked, “Do you?”
The need pulsing through her evidently matched his own for, without hesitation, she shook her head back and forth once, twice, and then she relaxed into his arms.
She tasted faintly sweet, like warm mint, and Sean savored the pleasant flavor of her. Her mouth was soft and pliant and hot, the taste and feel and scent of her making his body grow feverish.
Breaking away from him, she whispered against his mouth, “Sona.”
Her concern for his little girl—right in the midst of their all-consuming passion—made him want to only hug her harder, kiss her more. Nicki was a marvelous human being. Caring, nurturing. Sexy as hell.
“She’s fine,” he assured her, casting another quick look at Sona to be sure he was telling the truth. His sweet angel baby was focused on separating the items she’d collected into piles. He looked at Nicki, who had closed her eyes, seemingly enjoying this forbidden caress just as much as he.
Maybe he should allow sanity a foothold in his brain. Maybe he should release her and embark on the
impossible task of forgetting that this kiss ever happened. However, the need to hold her, to kiss her, had plagued him for so very long. For the first time in weeks, he felt his agony subside… all because holding her in his arms was having his craving satiated. So he just couldn’t bring himself to give up this precious moment by setting her free just yet. He kissed one delicate eyelid. And then the other. One corner of her mouth. And then the other.
She opened her eyes, and for a single instant, Sean felt as if their very souls connected. It was then that he knew.
He was falling in love.
***
Dr. Smyth listened to Sona’s heart and then pressed the stethoscope to her back. The pediatrician smiled at Sean when Sona squirmed and giggled.
“She sure is a happy child,” the doctor commented.
Sean only nodded nervously. He wasn’t going to allow the good doctor to distract him. He’d heard about infant immunizations, and he wasn’t looking forward to the ones that were surely in his daughter’s imminent future.
“A lot of toddlers usually scream bloody murder during their first visit to my office.” The doctor set Sona on the scale and leaned over to fiddle with the weights until an accurate reading registered.
Sean’s palms felt clammy and he unwittingly rubbed them down the length of his khaki-covered thighs. He didn’t like the idea that Dr. Smyth was going to hurt his little girl with needles, even though he realized that the tiny bit of pain was necessary and just might save Sona’s life in the years to come. Still, he couldn’t help feeling reluctant.
“Hmmm,” the doctor murmured. “Her weight is on the low end of the spectrum.”
Sean’s ears pricked up. “Is that bad?”
“Well, she looks healthy enough.”
“She’s very healthy,” he rushed to say. “As far as I know.”
Dr. Smyth nodded, not taking her attention off Sean’s daughter. The woman held up a ball and seemed pleased when Sona reached for it.
“Her sight and coordination seem normal,” the doctor observed. ‘‘My guess is she didn’t get a whole lot to eat during her time in the orphanage.” She glanced at Sean. “How’s her appetite been since you brought her home?”
“She eats like a horse.”
The doctor smiled. “Good. I’ll just make a note on her chart that will remind us to keep a close eye on her weight.”
The examination continued for several moments, and Sean’s mind was once again nagged by the idea of those needles that he knew loomed in the very close future… like in the next five to ten minutes.
Placing Sona on the floor, the doctor encouraged the child to walk around the tiny room. “Her balance is great. She walks well. Like any other toddler her age.”
Finally, Sean could hold in his anxiety no longer. “Let’s talk about Sona’s inoculations.”
Dr. Smyth seemed taken aback by the abruptness and Sean felt heat suffuse his face.
“Okay,” the pediatrician answered. “We can talk about her baby shots now, if you like.”
Even though he tried to relax, he felt his muscles tense, his jaw tighten.
The doctor studied Sona’s chart. Then she said, “As you know, your daughter received some of the necessary inoculations and her tuberculosis skin test before she was allowed to enter the country. However, there are a few she still needs to get started on.”
“Started on?” He didn’t like the sound of that.
Dr. Smyth nodded. “Immunizations are given in doses. Some of them take three doses. Some take four. And they’re given over a span of time.”
A frown bit into his brow at the prospect of having to suffer through this anxiety on pretty much an ongoing basis for the next year and a half.
Evidently the good doctor noticed his nervous apprehension. “I promise, Mr. Hudson—” she hesitated long enough to grin at him “—I won’t prick you even once with a needle.”
He smiled at her attempt to allay his apprehension, but the thought of seeing Sona cry still shadowed his thoughts.
“You know,” Dr. Smyth continued, “maybe your wife should be in here with you and your daughter….”
“Oh, no—” his head shook back and forth quickly “—Nicki… the lady in the waiting
room. She isn’t my wife. She’s, um, our nanny.”
The our sounded kind of silly, he thought as soon as the plural possessive had tumbled off his tongue. But that’s how he’d thought of Nicki from the first day he’d met her. In a way that was quite personal. Special. So he really didn’t care how it sounded.
“Ah, I see… well,” the doctor said, obviously intent on making a second try. “Maybe you’d like for her to join us, anyway. You know, as a kind of moral support. For both you and your daughter.”
The suggestion caused his whole body to react. He grew calmer immediately, and after moistening his lips, he sighed.
“You know,” he said, “I think that would be a great idea.”
Even though the doctor wielded the syringe with swift expertise, Sona still cried. Nicki and Sean both did what they could to comfort her as the doctor, completely unruffled by the tears, took a moment to jot down her final notes in the file.
“You did a great job, Sona,” Dr. Smyth said, smoothing a loving hand down the child’s arm.
But Sona only hid her face in the crook of her daddy’s neck.
“Mr. Hudson, my secretary will set you up for your next appointment in two months.”
Once the doctor left the three of them alone, Nicki immediately reached for Sona’s clothing.
“Oh, Lord,” Sean helplessly murmured. “I hate the idea of coming back here. No wonder children scream bloody murder.”
“Scream bloody murder?” Nicki asked as she slipped a sock onto Sona’s little foot.
“It was something the doctor said before you came in,” he told her. “That her patients scream bloody murder. What I find amazing is that the parents of her patients don’t scream. And kick. And run for their lives.”
Nicki chuckled. “When Dr. Smyth came toward Sona with that needle, I thought for sure you were going to do just that.” She quickly sobered. “It’s necessary, you know.”
He nodded, resignedly. “I do know.” He cradled the back of his daughter’s head with the palm of his hand. “It’s just that… I thought my job was pretty clearly mapped out. To protect Sona from harm.”
“And you’re doing that,” Nicki told him gently. “By bringing her here.”
Again, he nodded. “But I feel so awful. So guilty.”
Nicki roused Sona from Sean’s protective embrace long enough to tug the child’s dress over her little head. Then Nicki fastened the button at the back.
“I have to admit,” Nicki said. “I thought my heart was going to break when I saw Sona begin to cry. But Dr. Smyth did her best to be quick.”
He looked at Nicki and felt a rush of relief that she was here to share this miserable experience with him.
The three of them went out into the reception area and Nicki took Sona from Sean so he could pay for the office visit. Waiting at the counter for his credit card, he became acutely aware of Nicki standing by his elbow as she gently rocked Sona back and forth.
Since discovering his deep feelings for Nicki, he’d felt torn. On one hand, he wanted to tell her. He wanted to see if she might be willing to make a go at a real relationship with him. But on the other hand… he knew he should keep his mouth shut.
Was he willing to see her hurt? Because if he was to become involved with Nicki, that was the sure outcome. Pain and distress for her.
Who was he kidding? he silently asked himself. “The other hand” was the only hand—the only choice—he had. He simply must keep his mouth shut.
The receptionist promised to email Sean the receipt, and then they scheduled the date of Sona’s next visit. He murmured a farewell, and turned to Nicki. His breath caught as he looked into her clear, beautiful eyes.
And he wondered how on earth he was going to be ab
le to keep silent about what was in his heart.
Chapter Nine
“Hi, Bob,” Nicki called out as she entered the barn.
As usual, the reserved caretaker nodded a silent greeting and then continued his task of spreading fresh hay in Blaze’s stall.
The elderly man did his job, and did it well, without an abundance of conversation. Heck, without practically any conversation. Bob Davis was definitely a man of few words. And that’s why Nicki felt safe coming into the barn to do the thinking she needed to do.
“Would you mind if I help you with the grooming today?” she asked the caretaker.
“That’d be fine,” he said, casting her only a cursory glance.
Pepper’s stall smelled of sweet, fresh hay. Nicki greeted the animal with a soft hello as she smoothed her palm down the length of the animal’s neck. The grooming brush felt a bit heavy in her hand, but Nicki quickly got used to the weight of it as she ran the bristles over the horse.
The two weeks that had passed since she and Sean had shared that soul-shattering kiss in the park had been the most wonderful of her life. She knew in her heart that the flirtatiousness between them didn’t—no, couldn’t—mean anything. Sean had told her early on, when she’d suggested he find himself a real wife, that he simply wasn’t interested in a relationship. And even if he was, Nicki knew she wouldn’t be staying here much longer. In fact, she’d received an email that there was a teaching position for her in Slovakia. Seems she was needed immediately, but the job would be held for her for two weeks. She’d come out to the barn to plan the best way to break the news to Sean.
Another week here with him and Sona should be sufficient, she surmised. Then she could fly to Slovakia with time to spare, time to find a place to live and get her bearings in the new town, before starting the job.
With each day that passed, Sean seemed more and more comfortable in his new role as Sona’s daddy. And the toddler was obviously happy in her new home here in America. Before too much longer, neither one of them would need Nicki. However, that had been the whole idea from the beginning.
