Spirit of the Wolf

by Vonna Harper

  “What control? This—damn it—this isn’t the first time.”

  There it was, another example of how little she knew about the man inside the perfect-to-her body.

  “Tell me.” She punctuated her command by slapping one buttock and then the other. “About the other out-of-control times.”

  The air itself seemed to take a breath. Freezing, she waited out the sensation and in the silence that followed, she knew she’d said the wrong thing.

  “I’m sorry.” She kissed the places she’d just slapped. “I have no right asking.” On the brink of letting him know what Addie had told her, she gnawed on her lip. “We’re all entitled to secrets, but if there are too many of them, the relationship suffers. There has to be a certain amount of honesty.”

  “Does there?”

  A brick wall, no way of making Matt open up.

  “All right. That’s up to you, Matt,” she managed. “I love having sex with you, but if we’re ever going to move past that, there has to be trust.”

  This time when he stirred, she let him turn onto his side. His cock reached for her, and it took everything she had not to lose herself in the invitation.

  “We aren’t alone,” he said.

  “I know.”

  “It doesn’t bother you?”

  “Bother? This is the last thing I want to happen, certainly the last thing I ever thought would, but it is. What do you want me to do, deny it?”

  Something in his expression made her wonder if that’s exactly what he needed to hear. Sighing, she stretched out next to him and propped herself on her elbow with her knees slightly bent. Her breasts sagged. He captured both in his workman’s hand.

  “I love how sensitive they are,” he said. “That first night when we were being introduced, I couldn’t keep my eyes off them.”

  Feeling protected and unnerved, she said, “I noticed.”

  “That didn’t bother you? I thought you might tell me to take a hike.”

  Matt had spoken at little more than a whisper. She didn’t know whether that was because he hoped to keep their conversation private or because saying what he had wasn’t easy for him. Outside, the summer afternoon pounded down on the dry earth and made the animals lethargic. In here, energy was a living force.

  If she wasn’t careful, she’d fall into its heat.

  “I developed physically early,” she told him. “Having my mother haul me into a specialty store to outfit me with bras was traumatic.”

  He released one breast and enveloped the other, so his calloused hand scraped and sensitized. Wet heat bloomed in her already-moist pussy.

  “I thought girls can hardly wait to grow.”

  “Some maybe, I don’t know.”

  “You didn’t share that stuff with your friends?”

  “What friends?” She started to wince in reaction to what she’d just said only to shake her head and lower herself onto her back. Pins and needles attacked the arm that had been under her as she rested her hands on her belly. “I moved around so much that a lot of the time I was homeschooled by tutors. Hard to develop friendships that way.”

  Matt sat up and crossed his legs. His knees and shins pressed against her hips. Her attention went to the cock barely out of reach. Extending his hand, he lightly trailed his fingers over her pubic hair. Her head roared.

  “This isn’t the first time you’ve mentioned moving around while you were growing up. I’m sorry I didn’t ask you to explain earlier.”

  “So am I.” Her fingers ground into her belly. “Now. Back then, well, you know.”

  “What happened? Something about your parents’ jobs?”

  In too many ways, Matt was in uncharted territory, land she’d never traveled over. If she was ever going to learn more than what Addie had told her, she first had to give something of herself.

  Incapable of thinking and looking at him at the same time, she stared at the ceiling and fought to ignore the fingers tracing the lightest of trails through her pubic hair.

  Her parents had their own business, she told him. Several years before the birth of their only child, they’d parlayed their organizational and social skills into a service that put on conventions and conferences. Among their clients were corporations, professional organizations, and recreation groups. They still handled everything from venue selection to menus to travel plans. In addition, they were responsible for setting up the meeting rooms, getting bartenders for the open bars, and supplying everything the speakers needed.

  “They’ve run conventions in major cities both here and abroad,” she said as his hand headed for her crotch, and her ability to speak faltered. “Because they have to be there in advance of and after the event, they hauled me everywhere. My favorite were the events held at resorts. I learned to ski and surf. Picked up a little French and Italian.”

  “You’ve been so many places while I . . . What brought you here?”

  Matt needed her sober and clearheaded, something he wasn’t going to get as long as he kept touching her this way. Hating what she had to do, she took hold of his wrist. Instead of placing his hand on his own body as she’d thought she would, she rested it on her belly. He settled his other hand next to it.

  “Talk,” he said. “While you can.”

  And while you’re here to listen. Alarmed by the thought, she searched the room for signs of Ghost Wolf’s presence.

  “My parents love what they do. They call themselves gypsies, albeit wealthy ones because they’re so good at their jobs. For a while they had an apartment in downtown Chicago, but we were there so seldom they gave it up. We stayed in furnished places wherever the conventions were being held. The last I talked to them, they were renting one of those extended-stay executive places in Los Angeles. I hate that city.”

  “I’ve never been, never wanted to.”

  Cat didn’t remember closing her eyes, but not seeing Matt made talking easier. Also, this way she could focus on his rough warmth against her belly. Beyond trying to keep emotion out of her voice, she told him about the day that in retrospect had brought her here. As had happened countless times while she was growing up, she was alone two days after she’d turned seventeen. Her parents had just bought her her first car. More to the point, they’d called the dealership where they’d leased their vehicle and told the salesman to deliver whatever was in the best condition with the lowest mileage on the lot but not to go over $7,000. It turned out to be a six-cylinder yellow pickup truck so light in the rear end she could hardly keep it going in a straight line.

  Despite the abominable color, she’d done what any teenager would do. She’d taken it out for a drive. She’d headed east, hoping to get out of the city and into the desert where she’d find quiet and breathing room.

  “I got lost. I kept getting stuck in traffic and thought I’d lose my mind. When I got low on gas, I drove around in circles looking for a station. Then I ran out of gas while waiting in line. Fortunately, a couple of men pushed me; then one had to show me how to pump the gas while other people laughed. By the time I was done, I was even more desperate to get away from it all.”

  Desperate? Yes, she’d said the word. Opening her eyes, she found him staring down at her and nodding.

  “Did you find the city limits?”

  “Which one?” She tried a light tone she didn’t feel. “The cities all run together in the L.A. area. And, no, I never found the end to the congestion. Finally a police officer pointed me in the right direction and I got back to where we were staying.” Taking hold of Matt’s wrist again, she brought his hand to her cheek. Even with the loss of his fingers near her sex, she didn’t regret what she’d done. “My folks were at the convention center, so I walked to it. I was too frazzled to consider getting back in the truck. There were people all over the place, staff, caterers, press, early arrivals. Dad nodded in my direction. Mom didn’t acknowledge me.”

  “Oh, Cat, I’m sorry.”

  “Not the first time,” she managed as he lightly rubbed her cheek
. She didn’t care if he found her tears. “I turned around and walked back to the apartment, bumping into what seemed like more people than I had on the road. I spent the evening in this immaculate and impersonal apartment watching a National Geographic show about Alaska.”

  “Wishing you were there.”

  “Needing to be there—not the cold but the space.”

  “That’s when you learned you weren’t made for city life?” He kissed her on the nose.

  She touched where his lips had been. “You’ve never done that.”

  “I should have. You were only seventeen, which means you couldn’t just pack up and leave.”

  “No.” Even with Matt beside her, memories threatened to swamp her. “But that experience and others taught me that the life my parents chose wasn’t for me. And that I came in second to their career. I can’t believe they thought they could groom me to take over the business. They’re extroverts while I’m . . . I’ve become a country hick.”

  Nodding, Matt guided her into a sitting position so they now faced each other with their knees kissing. He rested his hands on her thighs while hers knotted at the base of her belly. The juices he was responsible for dribbled down her to stain the inexpensive bedspread.

  21

  “After my father died,” Matt said, “and I was sent to live with Santo and Addie, I thought about leaving. Heading for the bright lights.”

  “But you didn’t.”

  “I couldn’t.”

  “Why not?”

  “For a long time I didn’t know. Although I didn’t have a driver’s license, I knew how to drive, but where would I go? Would any other place feel like home? How did you feel the first time you came here?”

  “Love,” she whispered.

  “With the land?”

  “Absolutely.”

  Matt’s hands slid along her thighs and from there to her hips, while her thoughts fell apart. Ghost Wolf could be standing invisible in a corner of the room. Hell, he might be about to attack and tear her apart. But until or if that happened, she’d lose herself in Matt and the things they were saying to each other.

  “Just like that, the first time you saw all this nothing, you were hooked?”

  “Immediately. Completely.” Her skin jumped both where his hands lay and at her waist where she thought he’d head next. “I’ve told you that, haven’t I?”

  “If you did, I wasn’t listening.”

  Matt could be so honest. Yes, there’d been many times when he held silence and action up as barriers against their getting to know each other, but she didn’t believe he’d ever lied to her.

  “Because,” he continued as he spread his fingers over her sides and started upward, heading for her breasts, “I couldn’t think around you.”

  “Couldn’t? Past tense?”

  “I’m trying to change. Hell of a time, isn’t it, with everything blowing up around us.”

  “There is a sense of urgency.” The words were barely out of her mouth when she wondered if she’d heard Ghost Wolf laugh. “Matt, do you think he’s capable of ending everything for us? Killing us?”

  Planting his hands under her armpits and pressing so her breasts were pushed out of shape, he drew her across her folded legs toward him. “That’s not his intention.”

  Keep talking. Don’t let his body break you down. “What makes you so sure?”

  Matt shook his head. “I just know. Ghost Wolf needs me. He won’t destroy me.”

  With his thumbs against her nipples and her nipples straining and needful, she ran her hands around to his buttocks. Despite the awkward position she’d placed herself in, she couldn’t imagine letting it end unless—

  “He doesn’t feel the same about me,” she said into Matt’s chest.

  Releasing one breast, Matt lifted her chin. She had no choice but to look at him. “I won’t let him hurt you.”

  He couldn’t make good on that promise; they both knew that. But hearing the words filled her heart with heat. She’d never asked herself if she could fall in love with Matt; they didn’t have that kind of relationship.

  Or rather they hadn’t until a few days ago.

  “You’ll take that knife and fend him off with it?” she asked.

  “Knife?” He glanced at it. “Yeah, that one. He’s still here, you know, some part of him anyway. The air is heavy with him.”

  Matt was right, damn him. No matter how desperate she was to throw his words back at him, she couldn’t. “How can he do that, separate his essence from his body, if that’s what he’s doing?”

  “Because he’s different.”

  “Beyond our comprehension,” she whispered, when that touched only the edges of what they’d been experiencing.

  “For now.” Matt looked so sober she grew alarmed. “It smells good in here. What’s that, roses?”

  Trying to keep up with the sudden change in subject, she nodded and explained that she dried some of her roses so she could place them in bowls in her bedroom. Two were on top of her dresser.

  “Where’d you learn something like that? Did your mother—”

  “Hardly.” Somehow her hands had wound up on the insides of his thighs, scant inches from his cock. “It’s one of my few domestic skills.” She wondered if Matt’s mother cared about her home, but then he wouldn’t know. Besides, his cock was killing her concentration.

  Ending her interest in Ghost Wolf.

  His expression bland, Matt looked down at her hands. For the second time today, he ran his fingers into the hair at her crotch and she knew they’d come to the same place.

  Alive, scared, and excited, she cupped her hands around what as far as she was concerned was the most important part of Matt’s anatomy and leaned over their legs until her spine protested. She managed to draw his cock head into her mouth but couldn’t keep it there.

  “Sorry. My technique needs work.”

  “Your technique is perfect. Everything about you is.”

  His words surrounded her, then splintered under a hollow growl. Chilled, she tried to determine where it was coming from only to stop because Matt had again taken hold of her chin and was forcing her to look at him.

  “I mean it—I won’t let him hurt you,” he said.

  Fresh tears burned her eyes. When she nodded, she did so with every inch and ounce of her being. He pushed her away from him, turning her as he did, and she found herself standing on the carpet with her back to Matt and him holding on to her wrists so her arms were behind her. She recalled that earlier time when he’d manhandled her.

  Matt released her, leaving her with nothing to do except let her arms fall to her sides. Aware of her naked body, she faced him to discover he’d slid to the side of the bed and was sitting with his legs over the edge and his cock waiting for her.

  A second growl, softer than the first, stopped her.

  “He doesn’t want this to happen.” Matt indicated his erection. “Because he wants me to himself. But he can’t stop us.”

  “How do you know?” Her mouth didn’t want to work. At the same time, her body softened.

  “He already would have if he could.” Running his hands over his thighs, he sat straighter. “His body’s elsewhere.”

  Did that mean they didn’t have to concern themselves with what was behind the growls? Despite the question, she really didn’t care. She believed Matt. Only that mattered.

  His words and what he was offering her.

  Wiping her sweating hands on her thighs, she put an end to the distance between them. When their knees touched, she stopped and pressed his legs together. That done, she waited until he lifted his gaze from her crotch to her face.

  “Me riding you?” she asked. “That’s what this is about?”

  “If it’s what you want.”

  Want! Hell, the word didn’t come close. Bracing her hands against his thighs for support, she straddled him. She came down slow, glad he was guiding himself into place.

  Into her.

  Long, slow, a
nd strong.

  The bed had come with the house, and although she’d bought a new mattress, she hadn’t gotten around to getting another frame to replace the one that had been built higher off the floor to accommodate an elderly man’s decreased physical ability to get up and down.

  She gave thanks for her procrastination.

  Resting her hands on Matt’s shoulders, she carefully and slowly lifted herself off him. His features went out of focus, either because they were so close or because she couldn’t concentrate on anything except what was taking place inside her pussy.

  He’d become her. Two separate human beings connected in the most primal way. Vulnerable and honest to the max, with their separate flames coming together to create a firestorm. Liquid heat ran over her body to turn her both heavy and weightless. Tightening her sex muscles, she again settled her legs and buttocks against him.

  “Shit!” His fingers dug into her hips as he pushed her upward again.

  Fucking Matt became mechanical and soul-felt, with her body desperate to reach climax and her heart reaching out, hoping to touch his. Her breasts jiggled with every move. The burning sensation in her legs carved a hot path to her cunt until she swore every part of her from the waist down was having sex.

  “Slow it. Just a little.”

  At first doing sex according to Matt’s pace seemed impossible; how could a wild mare cease galloping? But he used his hold on her to control her pace, driving upward and into her as he did until they became one in all the ways that counted.

  Her fingers cramped, yet she couldn’t get them to relax. Matt’s shoulders were hardened by his life. Surely he could take everything she gave him. Cracking open an eye and looking down, she stared at her wildly flopping breasts. Nearly laughed. Her entire body was in motion as she jackhammered Matt. One second her sex muscles held him prisoner. The next they reached their limit and let go.

  He came at her, pent-up energy firing through him so he all but knocked her off him.

  “Ride him!” she cried.

  “Yeah? Who’s doing the most bucking?”