The Renegade

by Amy Dunne

  Evelyn’s fingertips trailed down from Alex’s stomach to between her legs with a light ticklish touch. As soon as Evelyn touched her where she needed it most, Alex choked back a moan.

  They matched their pace, stroking faster and firmer as their need took control. Alex was teetering on the edge of orgasm and struggled to keep their rhythm. She wanted them to come together and fought to hold on a little longer. Evelyn’s body convulsed beneath her, muscles tensing, back arching. Eyes clenched, Alex buried her face into the pillow, trying to mask her own whimpering. Evelyn’s moans were too loud, and on the crux of orgasm, she bit down on Alex’s shoulder, muffling her cry.

  The sting of Evelyn’s bite sent Alex over the edge into oblivion. Her body trembled and shook as euphoria coursed through her veins. Beneath her, Evelyn’s body writhed.

  Alex’s arm collapsed under the strain of her body. Breathless and weak, she slumped beside Evelyn, her leg draped over her and her hand still stroking Evelyn’s slick silken folds. It took effort, but she rolled her head to the side, her heart swelling with love at the sight of Evelyn’s pink sweaty face, hooded eyes, big grin, and tousled hair. “I love you.”

  “I love you,” Evelyn said, before kissing Alex tenderly on the mouth.

  “I’ll get us out of here. And then we’ll never spend another night apart,” Alex said, her determination weighing her down to the bed. She would do whatever it took, at whatever the cost.

  “I know you will, darling. But until then, let’s make the most of tonight.”

  Desire burned in Evelyn’s eyes. Alex’s sated feeling was immediately overruled. Rejuvenated, her body hummed with arousal. She made a silent promise to herself that she wouldn’t stop making love to Evelyn until she’d caressed and tasted every part of her and Evelyn begged her to stop.

  Chapter Twenty-four

  “You can’t do this,” Alex said, anger rolling off in waves.

  “What choice do I have?” Evelyn asked. She’d warned Alex that this time would eventually come. She had no say in the matter, and it was the last thing she wanted to have to go through with. And Alex’s jealousy was only adding to an already horrendous situation. “As far as everyone here is concerned, I’m his wife. I can’t refuse him.”

  “Make something up. Say you’re sick or Jamie’s sick.”

  Evelyn shook her head, wincing at the dizzy spell it caused. “He doesn’t care about Jamie, and if I’m ill it won’t stop anything. Please, don’t make this any more difficult.”

  Alex paced the floor, her hands balled into fists and her teeth grinding with ferocity.

  Evelyn tried to placate her. “It’s just one night.”

  “That makes it okay?” Alex demanded, directing her anger on Evelyn.

  “No. Of course not.” Evelyn stepped back. She accepted defeat. Alex wasn’t going to calm down any time soon. “I don’t know what you want me to say.”

  “I don’t want you to say anything. I want you to refuse to go and fuck him. That’s what I want. I love you. The thought of you with him—” Alex pummelled the medical bed with her fists.

  Evelyn rushed forward, grabbing hold of Alex’s wrists. The noise would most likely draw attention. They didn’t have long. They’d been risking time together far too much lately, and it was bound to catch up with them. “I hate him. The last thing I want to do is be near him. But I haven’t a choice.” She looked down at Alex’s knuckles. They were bruised and sore. “I love you. Don’t think about it. I know it’s difficult, but not doing so will drive you insane. It’s just one night. Tomorrow, we’ll be back together.”

  Alex pulled her hands away and dropped to her knees. She rested her head on Evelyn’s stomach, her arms hugging her waist. “Don’t go through with it. I’m begging you, Evelyn. If you love me, please don’t do it. There’s got to be a way.”

  Evelyn ran her fingers through the soft, familiar hair. Their relationship was crumbling, and she was causing Alex pain. But how could Alex not see that this wasn’t a choice? There was no magical reprieve. Alex either accepted what Evelyn had to do, or their relationship would suffer. Worse still, she now suspected a terrifying secret that would deliver the final blow to their fragile relationship. A secret that meant Elijah would never let her go and her fate was sealed. She’d put off finding out for too long, and now she had to know once and for all. Her stomach churned and saliva flooded her mouth as the bout of sickness threatened to return at any second. She needed to get out of here. “I’m so sorry.” Evelyn broke their embrace, grabbed her coat, and fled out the door.

  *

  Evelyn slumped to the floor inside the toilet cubicle. Her hands were shaking so bad she dropped the pregnancy test. She couldn’t bring herself to pick it up. Numbness saturated her body and mind, caused by blind panic.

  How could this have happened? She’d taken the pill. They were running short, but she hadn’t missed a single day. Except she knew of one occasion that might have failed her. On her wedding day, she’d been violently ill before the ceremony, and that night she’d had to go through with her matrimonial obligations. The chances of that one time were small, but not impossible.

  Joe had mentioned it before Alex and Murphy arrived. But in her ignorance, she’d pushed it from her mind. She returned the test that evening, thinking nothing of it. The sickness, and realising how late she was, had forced her to do the maths.

  She’d thought the test would be negative. She’d pinned all of her hope on it. Only it wasn’t.

  She was pregnant.

  Pregnant with Elijah’s child.

  “Shit,” she whispered hoarsely. Tears began to stream, but she couldn’t bring herself to wipe them away. She’d thought herself in hell only this morning, but now she knew the true meaning of hell. She was pregnant and Elijah would never, ever let them go. Even if they managed to escape, he’d be relentless in his search for them. And what about Jamie? Elijah had threatened once they had children, Jamie would be surplus to their requirements. He wouldn’t think twice about hurting him because there would be a new baby he could manipulate and exploit her emotions with.

  She wasn’t ready for a baby. Especially not Elijah’s baby. How could she willingly bring a child into this world? No hospitals. No midwifes. No pain relief. No sanitation. No equipment. No medical staff, other than herself. Would she have to try and deliver her own baby? What if there were complications during the pregnancy or birth? What if the baby wasn’t immune to the Red Death? How could she bring up a baby in this fucked-up community led by its psychotic father? What future would the baby have?

  It was cruel. And it wasn’t supposed to happen.

  She pulled some toilet paper down and blew her nose. A headache from crying split through her head and she was on the verge of vomiting again.

  “What am I going to do?” she whispered to herself. She lifted her top and looked down at the flesh on her stomach. It was flat and smooth. Other than the morning sickness and tiredness, she’d not shown any signs of pregnancy.

  Her thoughts turned darker. She couldn’t have this baby. It was wrong. She knew the medication she had in the medical room. Her brain racked itself trying to come up with combinations and dosages that would do what was needed, but not cause too much pain or potential risk. But the risks were huge. If she got infected, took an overdose, something went wrong, who would look after Jamie?

  “What are you doing?” she asked herself through gritted teeth. The baby was Elijah’s, but it was also hers. Could she really get rid of it? Hadn’t enough life already been lost? But…what if the child took after Elijah? Ruled over people with fear and manipulation? What if the child was a girl? Would her life be condemned to serve men for the rest of her life? Be forced to marry and have children when she was only a child herself?

  It was too much to comprehend.

  “Evelyn?” Alex’s voice came from outside the cubicle. “I’m sorry. I know you don’t have a choice and I shouldn’t have given you an ultimatum. It just kills me that I can’t
save you.”

  “I need to be alone. Forget about the argument. It’s okay.”

  “I can hear you’re crying. Please, let me in.”

  Evelyn shook her head, but couldn’t speak the words through her disjointed sobs.

  “Please, just open the door? Whatever it is, I can help.”

  Help? No one could help. That was the problem. She was the only one medically trained, and yet it was she who was going to be giving birth.

  Her breathing was laboured, to the point where she couldn’t catch her breath,

  Another gentle rapping on the stall door. “Evelyn, let me in.”

  Unable to stand, Evelyn managed to reach the lock and flick it across. Alex carefully opened the door as far as she could, but there still wasn’t enough room. “You need to move back a little bit.”

  Evelyn was too consumed by panic to listen. She couldn’t breathe.

  “Right, I’m climbing over the top. Watch your head.” Within seconds, Alex hiked herself up and over the stall walls. She lowered herself carefully and ended up with a foot on either side of the toilet seat. “It’s okay, I’m here.” There was no room, but Alex manoeuvred around until she could see Evelyn’s face. “Just breathe. Slow breaths. Breathe in my hands.” She cupped her hands and tried to put them over Evelyn’s mouth.

  Evelyn panicked and struck out, knocking Alex’s hands away.

  “Trust me,” Alex said, trying again. “Focus on my breathing. Try and copy.”

  Evelyn watched, and although it went against everything her body felt, she willed herself to copy Alex’s breathing. Gradually, her breathing calmed. “Thank you,” she said in a painful croak.

  “What’s happened?”

  Evelyn shook her head and pointed at the floor. She watched as Alex looked and finally spotted the test. She bent and picked it up, hitting her hip against the toilet roll dispenser. She seemed to ignore the pain of her hip, focused solely on the test.

  “This says it’s positive,” Alex said quietly. She continued to stare at it warily, as if it might jump up and attack her. “Whose is it?”

  Evelyn wiped more tears. “Mine.”

  Alex’s head snapped to the side. “Yours?”

  Evelyn nodded and tried to hold in her whimpers. The way Alex was looking at her made it worse. It mirrored her own shocked horror.

  “So, you’re…”

  “Pregnant,” Evelyn said in a whisper.

  “And the father is?”

  “Elijah.”

  “Shit,” Alex said.

  Evelyn let out a half moan, half snort of laughter. “Shit” didn’t come close to describing how horrendous this situation was.

  “What are your options?”

  Evelyn shook her head. “Well, as I can’t go out and get the equipment or medication I would need to do anything safely, I don’t have a choice.”

  “You’re going to keep it?”

  “What else can I do?” Evelyn asked, blotting her face with a snotty ball of tissue. “I haven’t got my head around it yet, but I don’t think I could get rid of it. Part of it’s me. I know the circumstances are awful, but that’s not the baby’s fault.”

  “Are you going to tell him?”

  Evelyn shook her head vehemently. “Never.”

  “What about when you start to show or give birth?”

  Evelyn grabbed Alex’s hands. “We need to escape. We need to get out of here,” she said urgently. “I need you to help me. We only get one chance at this. Please say you’ll help me, because I don’t know what else I can do. I’m terrified. I’ve never been so terrified.”

  Alex rushed forward and wrapped Evelyn in a tight hug. The comfort and relief, although short-lived, was what they both craved. “I’ll get you out of here. I promise.”

  “You don’t make promises.”

  “I don’t make promises I can’t keep. I’ll take you somewhere safe and I’ll look after you, Jamie, and the baby. I’ll never let anything hurt you. It’s going to be okay. I love you.”

  Evelyn began to cry again, but Alex held her and whispered the same promises over and over again. Perhaps she wasn’t alone after all. Perhaps there was hope.

  *

  Alex put Evelyn to bed in the room she and Jamie shared. She stayed with her for a while, watching her sleep. She made a silent promise that she would get Jamie and Evelyn out of there or die trying.

  Jamie came in and she motioned for him to be quiet and told him that his mum was feeling poorly. Jamie kissed Evelyn’s forehead and sat at the bottom of the bed watching her. Alex felt it was time to leave them. She whispered to Jamie that if he or Evelyn needed anything, that he must come and fetch her.

  She had the pregnancy test broken into pieces in her pocket and needed to think of a way to dispose of it without being seen. All bins were monitored. When she spotted Paddy and Scott, a disgustingly convincing idea struck. She went up and walked around the grounds with them and when Paddy relieved himself, she took the black bag off Scott and picked up the excrement. With a sleight of hand, she managed to fit the pieces of the broken test into the bottom of the bag. She tied it up securely, and when it came to throwing it away in the outside bin, she hoped nobody would want to have a thorough inspection.

  She reached the main building as Elijah was leaving. He gave a smarmy smile and made chitchat. It took all of Alex’s self-restraint not to punch him in his smug face. David came out a few seconds later, followed by another person, who was pushed out the door by Phil.

  The face looked familiar—well, what could be seen under the swelling, dried blood, and bruising.

  Ben. It was Gemma’s boyfriend. And he looked liked he’d been beaten half to death. His slightly less swollen eye stared at her, and his hands were handcuffed behind his back.

  She was so shocked, she stared open mouthed. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw David watching her and she turned to him. “What the hell happened to him? Did you get ambushed on your scouting expedition? Is everyone okay?”

  David’s expression remained cold. “Do you recognise him?”

  Alex looked back at Ben. “No. I’ve never seen him before. Although it’s hard to tell with all that,” she said, pointing to his face. “Do you need me to fetch Evelyn to check him out?”

  “No,” Elijah said. “We don’t waste time or resources on traitors. Take him to a cell. I’m going to go and seek divine guidance on what his fate should be.” He walked off.

  “Sure you don’t know him?” David asked with a sneer. “He keeps looking at you.”

  “I’m positive,” Alex said, feigning revulsion. “I don’t think he can see anything. You can’t really be thinking of putting him in a cell. He needs help.”

  “No point helping a dead man walking,” Phil said with a laugh.

  Without another word, David walked away and Phil shoved Ben harshly from behind to follow.

  *

  Alex rushed back to her room to check on Murphy, making sure he was okay. The only question they’d asked him was whether he’d seen Ben before. He answered no.

  Although she felt bad for waking Evelyn up, she had to inform her about Ben. She went to the room and asked Jamie to go find Scott and ask if he could feed Paddy. He eagerly left with a smile on his face.

  “What is it?” Evelyn asked, looking exhausted.

  “Ben’s here. They found him and have now got him in a cell. From the looks of it, he’s in a bad way. I didn’t know what else to do.”

  Evelyn sat up and rubbed her face. “Oh, God.”

  “What?”

  “I think they’ll kill him.”

  Alex gasped. “Surely not. He’s a child.”

  “He kidnapped a man’s wife, and not just any man—David’s wife.”

  “Have they ever killed anyone before?”

  Evelyn shrugged. “There’s no proof. But people suspiciously went missing in the first few months. On scouting expeditions, they’d decide they weren’t coming back or get fatally injured or killed in at
tacks by others.”

  Alex sat on the bed. “And no one asked about it?”

  “They were always the men that were questioning Elijah’s beliefs or divine communication. We never had definitive proof, especially as the women aren’t allowed to leave camp.”

  “How long do you think we have until they decide?”

  “It depends on Elijah. If he’s taking drugs to help him speak to God, which is his usual practice, it could be a day or two. If he’s already made his mind up, I can’t even hazard a guess.”

  Alex could feel the pressure mounting. She needed time to work out a plan to escape. It wasn’t just working out how to go about it, it was also organising those people who wanted to leave without the others knowing. It’d take time. And with the men coming back, it had to be in the next few days. But by the sound of it, Ben didn’t have that long.

  A timid knock on the door interrupted their talk. Tanya crept into the room, leaving the door slightly ajar.

  “Are you okay?” Evelyn asked.

  “I didn’t know if you knew, but I think I saw Ben. He was all bloody.”

  “Yes. Alex just told me,” Evelyn said wanly.

  “It’s not right,” Tanya said.

  “I’ll see if I can have a word with Elijah later and calm him down,” Evelyn said, but her tone didn’t sound hopeful.

  “There was something else, too.” Tanya looked even more timid than usual.

  “Do you want me to leave?” Alex asked.

  “No. Tanya, anything you can say to me, you can say to Alex. Okay?” Evelyn asked.

  Tanya hesitated but nodded. “I nipped in to see you today, but you weren’t there. I was wondering if you have my tablet?”

  Evelyn’s hand flew to her mouth. “I’m sorry. I completely forgot.”

  “Is it what I think it is?” Alex asked.

  Tanya and Evelyn shared a look. “Yes. But even with the ones Gemma gave back, we’ve nearly run out,” Evelyn said in a whisper. “I don’t have any up here, Meet me down in the medical room in fifteen minutes and I’ll get it for you.”