One S'more Summer

by Beth Merlin

  “Relieved?” Perry asked as he passed me.

  “Absolutely,” I answered, “you’re way too old for her.”

  “Now let’s meet our winner,” I continued. “Straight from Manchester, England, this eighteen-year-old soccer prodigy likes fish ‘n’ chips, long walks by the lake, and action movies. Tara, please meet your date, Jon Roth,” I said excitedly.

  Jon, a good-looking guy with a shaved head and several tattoos, crossed the stage and gave Tara a big bear hug, which she seemed to enjoy. He took hold of her hand, and they walked off the stage together. Tara was already gazing adoringly at him, the kisses from Perry a distant memory.

  After the Dating Game finished, we led the two groups to the Great Lawn so they could hang out and get to know each other. When everything was well under control, I sat down under a large tree in the corner of the field and rested my head against the trunk, exhausted from my first full day on the job. I dozed off for a few minutes before being awakened by Perry, who slid down the trunk beside me.

  “Sleeping on the job, are we?” he asked as he sliced pieces of an apple with the Swiss Army knife.

  “Just resting.” I yawned.

  He wedged out some slices. “Want some?”

  “No thanks. What’s that?” I asked, noticing the small notebook on top of his clipboard.

  “Some music compositions,” he said, tucking the book underneath the papers. “So, Princess, what did your mum send that had you all frazzled this morning?”

  I’d almost forgotten about Alicia and Joshua’s wedding invitation, now concealed underneath my mattress.

  “It was nothing, an invitation,” I said nonchalantly.

  “And?” he said, leaning into me.

  “And nothing. I’d rather not talk about it.”

  “You know what? You’re intriguing,” he said, narrowing his eyes at me.

  “Intriguing?”

  “There is something quite mysterious about you,” he said.

  “Not really.”

  “Then what were you hiding?”

  “Just leave it alone—it’s nothing. It’s a stupid wedding invitation.”

  “Methinks I hit a sore subject. Who’s getting married? Let me guess, your mother for the fourth time? Your younger sister, and it’s killing you she’s getting married first? Someone you shagged? Your boss? An old lover? A young lover? An unrequited crush?” he teased.

  I physically winced after his last guess. Afraid that he noticed, I channeled my humiliation into anger. “You guessed it,” I spat at him. “I have a big, scary skeleton in my closet and the invitation to prove it.”

  He stared at me a few seconds, not quite sure whether he should believe my outburst. I continued my tirade. “Congratulations. You figured me out. I am every awful thing you’ve suggested. Pampered, privileged, and promiscuous. I’ve heard an earful about you too, though. You like them young, right? What, like eighteen or nineteen years old?”

  He sat speechless.

  “I guess we all have our crosses to bear, huh?” I stood up and started walking over to where Jordana and some other counselors had gathered.

  “Gigi. Hey, wait a minute,” he shouted in my direction.

  “Just leave me alone.”

  “What was that about?” Jordana asked, having observed our tiff from afar.

  “He just gets under my skin.”

  “Hey, take a look at that,” she said, motioning to a shadowy part of the field, where two campers were locked in a kiss.

  “Is that Madison and Alex Shane?” I asked.

  “It most certainly is,” Jordana replied like a proud older sister.

  “That won’t end well,” I said.

  “Why do you say that?”

  “Isn’t that the guy Emily Z set her sights on? The one she was talking about in the bunk earlier? He’s like the guy, right? The guy all the girls are crushing on?”

  “I think so,” Jordana said.

  I raised my eyebrows.

  “It’s just a kiss, Gigi. Maybe he likes her?”

  “Maybe,” I said skeptically. “I hope she doesn’t get hurt.”

  “Sometimes it’s worth it,” Jordana said.

  “What is?”

  “Getting to kiss the Alex Shanes of the world, even if they ultimately break your heart.”

  “I’m not so sure,” I said.

  “So who’s sitting OD tonight?” she asked, trying to change the subject.

  “Michelle and Brooke, but I was thinking I might just sit,” I answered.

  “You have to go out. You came to camp to have some fun, right?”

  I shrugged my shoulders. “I just don’t think I’m up for The Canteen tonight.” Imagining Perry making out with one of the younger counselors on the old moth-eaten couch kind of made my stomach turn.

  “Well, that’s perfect because some of the counselors are going into town to Rosie’s. Come on, Gigi,” she pleaded. “It’ll be fun.”

  Rosie’s was the one and only bar in Milbank. I’d never actually been, but from the time I started going to Camp Chinooka, I’d heard wild stories about what went on there. Back when I was a camper, Rosie’s had seemed like the most exciting place to be—even more so than The Canteen, because it was off grounds. Now of legal drinking age and actually allowed to leave the camp premises, curiosity of this once forbidden place got the best of me.

  “Fine, but first, I need to shower. I’ve been in these clothes all day,” I said.

  “Yeah, you are a little funky,” Jordana said, pretending to sniff my shirt.

  Fifteen minutes later, I announced the end of evening activity and called the girls back to their bunks for the night. They reluctantly said their goodbyes and huddled together in small cliques to discuss the night’s events as they walked back to the cabins. I rushed ahead of them to the shower house so I’d have time to get ready before we left for town.

  The Cedar shower house was one of the oldest structures at Chinooka, left untouched since I was a camper. It was nothing more than a cabin that housed about ten shower stalls. Unfortunately, it didn’t have working lights, which wasn’t a big deal when the girls were showering at five but was more of an issue now that it was dark. Using a small flashlight, I fumbled my way into one of the stalls, where I turned on the faucet. Nothing but freezing water came out. I stood, shivering, waiting for the water to turn warmer, but it never did. Realizing it was a cold shower or nothing, I stepped in and took the quickest shower of my adult life. In complete darkness, I managed to shampoo and condition my hair, shave my legs, and loofah my entire body in under five minutes. As soon as I finished, I wrapped myself in a towel and sprinted across the field and back to the bunk. When I walked in, most of the girls were gathered around Madison’s bed, listening to her recount her kiss with Alex Shane.

  “And then Gigi yelled that evening activity was over, so he kissed me one more time and told me he would look for me at breakfast,” Madison said, finishing up her story with an ear-to-ear smile.

  I unwrapped my hair from underneath a towel turban and shook my head, knowing exactly how Madison felt. Having just kissed her fantasy guy, she was completely on top of the world. It would be a long way to fall when she finally came off her high.

  Turning my attention away from Madison, I scanned my overstuffed cubbies, trying to decide what to wear to Rosie’s. After spending the last twelve hours in the same shorts and tank top, I decided I’d feel better if I stepped it up a notch. I pulled out a simple but sexy charcoal tank dress from the bottom of one of the piles and smoothed it out the best I could. I put it on and modeled it in front of the full-length mirror in the bathroom, looking at myself from every angle.

  “That dress is killer,” Tara said, coming up behind me. “Where are you going tonight?” she asked, perching against the sink next to me.

  “Rosie’s,” I answered.

  “Lucky. I wish CITs were allowed off camp grounds,” she said.

  “It’s just a bar. Not a big deal,” I sai
d.

  “A bar that all the best-looking counselors hang out at. Is Perry gonna be there?”

  “I don’t know,” I said, applying mascara to my top and then lower lashes. “What do you care anyway? I saw you kissing Jon goodnight.”

  “He’s all right. He’s no Perry, though,” she said.

  “I’m getting over someone. Maybe I’m just not able to be totally objective,” I said.

  “Really? What happened?” she asked, inching closer to me.

  “Tara, there isn’t that much light in here to begin with.”

  She closed the toilet seat behind me and sat down. “So what happened?”

  The way Tara was perched reminded me of when I was a little girl. I’d sit on the toilet seat beside my mother, watching her as she got ready for an event.

  “Things just didn’t work out,” I answered.

  “Another woman?”

  “I guess you could say that,” I answered.

  “Men are assholes,” she said bluntly.

  “Men?” I said, shooting her a look.

  “Men, boys, guys, whatever. They’re all jerks,” she said, rolling her eyes. “You should go out and have a good time tonight. You look hot, Gigi. Go make him sorry he ever looked at that other chick. Can I borrow this for the dance?” she asked, picking up the tube of light pink Christian Dior lipgloss from the sink. I nodded and took one last look at myself in the mirror before hurrying out of the cabin to meet Jordana by the front gate.

  Chapter Six

  Two nights after Alicia came home from Singapore, we met at a trendy midtown sushi restaurant not far from her office. She called to let me know that, as usual, she was running about an hour late. I had a drink at the bar while I waited, hoping to calm my nerves. I was only slightly more relaxed by the time she came tearing into the restaurant rattling off her usual apologies.

  “I could not get off this conference call,” she said, giving me a kiss hello on the cheek.

  She looked stunning. For a woman who’d supposedly been stuck in meetings for the last several weeks, you would have thought she just returned from a vacation in the Caribbean.

  “You look great,” I said, admiring how sophisticated and elegant she always looked, no matter how frazzled.

  “You, my friend, are the one who looks great,” she said, taking off her coat. “What have you been doing these last few weeks?”

  Deciding to go work at Chinooka had begun to lift the dark cloud looming over my life, and I was finally starting to come back to myself. Of course, my best friend would notice this not-so-subtle change.

  “I’ve actually been doing quite a bit these last couple of weeks,” I started to explain before the hostess came over to tell us our table was ready. We sat down and I continued. “Actually, I’m no longer working for Diane von Furstenberg. I was let go—fired, actually, if I’m going to be accurate.”

  She put her hand over her mouth in disbelief.

  “Ali, I’m fine. It’s really for the best, and things hadn’t been clicking there for me for a while now,” I said.

  “But you loved that job.”

  “It was just a job. I’m a designer. I can still do that, just not under their label.”

  “I just can’t believe they let you go. You’re so talented,” Alicia said.

  I grimaced, thinking how lucky I was to have always had someone in my life who believed in me so completely. A knot of violent guilt tightened in my gut.

  “I’m fine. I’ll figure something out.”

  “Of course you will, and of course you can stay with me as long as you need to while you figure it out,” she said, putting her hand over mine.

  “You’re getting married in less than four months. While I appreciate the offer, I can’t stay with you. Besides, I have a plan.”

  “Great, let’s hear it,” she said, leaning over the table.

  “Well, here’s the part I don’t know how to tell you,” I said, trying to recall the speech I’d practiced so many times in my head.

  She pushed her hair behind her ears. “Just tell me.”

  “I ran into Joshua at Bloomingdales and he told me you moved your wedding up to August.”

  “It just made sense with the timing of my promotion. After dating him for almost my whole life, we figured what’s the point in waiting?”

  “It makes sense, complete sense,” I said, swallowing. “I just don’t know if I’ll be here for it.”

  “Not be here for the wedding?” She sank down into her seat and was quiet for a few seconds. She took a sip of her ice water. “Where will you be?”

  “I’m not sure. Traveling, maybe?”

  I was telling her yet another lie, but in the grand scheme of betrayals, I figured this small fib was part of my greater effort to do the right thing. “I just need to get out of here and get some distance and some new ideas. I need to feel inspired again. I think I need this summer to reinvent myself a bit.”

  “Then you should go,” she replied firmly.

  “Do you hate me?”

  “Of course not, Gigi. You’re like a sister to me. I love you enough to see you need this right now. The wedding’s a formality. Joshua and I have been as good as married for years. Who would know that better than you?”

  “Right, who would know that better than me,” I repeated the words back to her.

  “Where will you go?”

  “I don’t know. Wherever the wind takes me?” I said jokingly.

  “Just make sure it blows you back, eventually. I’ll miss my best friend too much.”

  “Thank you for understanding, Ali.”

  “You don’t have to thank me. I see in your eyes that you need this,” she said.

  “More than anything.”

  “I don’t know if I should tell you this now, but I was going to ask you to be my maid of honor tonight,” she said.

  “Alicia …”

  “I understand,” she said, taking my hand in hers. For a split-second, I wondered if she really did know more than she was letting on.

  We finished dinner and made small talk about Singapore and the wedding. As usual, Alicia was all business, going over every detail like it was some sort of merger. If I were the one marrying Joshua, I wouldn’t be worrying about florists or bands, place cards or photographers. I wouldn’t need a wedding planner to advise me on how to design the wedding of my dreams. All I would need was Joshua, wholly and completely wanting to commit to me. But, Alicia had that. She had the love of her life wholly and completely wanting to commit to her. Why shouldn’t she have the perfect venue as well?

  We finished eating, and the waiter came to ask if we wanted to see the dessert menu. I was completely stuffed, but before I could answer, Alicia told him to please bring it over.

  “I couldn’t eat another thing, but you should definitely order something if you’re in the mood for something sweet,” I told her.

  “I asked Joshua to meet us here, so I should probably order something so they don’t kick us out of the table while we wait for him,” she said.

  I shifted uncomfortably in my seat. I hadn’t seen Joshua since the day at my apartment a few weeks earlier and hadn’t spoken to him since our phone confrontation. I wasn’t at all prepared to sit across a table from him, especially with Alicia there.

  “You know, Ali, I should probably get going. I’m not feeling a hundred percent,” I said.

  “What’s wrong?”

  Before I could answer, she stood up and motioned Joshua—who’d already walked into the restaurant—toward our table. He leaned over and gave me a kiss on the cheek as a hello. Then he gave Alicia a kiss on the lips before sitting down next to her in the booth. The waiter came over to take his order.

  “I’ll just have a Grey Goose with a splash of tonic. Ladies, do either of you want a refill of anything?”

  Alicia ordered another Chardonnay.

  “I’m fine, thanks,” I said.

  Alicia clinked her fork against her glass. “Gigi has an annou
ncement.”

  “It’s really not that big of a deal,” I said.

  “Of course it is,” Alicia responded before motioning for me to speak.

  “I lost my job, so I’m going to take some time for myself this summer and figure some things out. I won’t be at the wedding,” I said as fast as I could get the words out.

  “Where are you going? “Joshua asked, never taking his gaze off my face.

  “I haven’t completely decided yet. I just need to get away from here and get a different perspective on things,” I answered.

  “I gave her our blessing,” Alicia chimed in. “The wedding’s a silly formality. You agree Gigi should get away, right?”

  I held my breath, waiting for any small indication that he wouldn’t want me to leave.

  “Of course she should go,” he said.

  “See?” Alicia continued. “I knew Joshua would understand.” She put her hand over his. “It’s been so long since the three of us have been out together. I’m so lucky to have not one but two best friends,” she said, putting her other hand on mine.

  Joshua smiled and put his arm around her. She leaned against his chest, and he kissed her forehead the same way he’d always kissed mine.

  “Gigi,” she said, sitting back up, “I don’t know what made me think about this, but do you remember when we were eleven, or maybe twelve, and Joshua and I got married at the Camp Chinooka carnival?”

  I did remember. I remembered how I stood watching their pretend ceremony, certain even then that someday I would stand witness to their real one.

  “I was your maid of honor and the best man. Of course, I remember.”

  “And you set up our honeymoon by the lake,” Alicia added.

  I’d decorated one of the old cabanas at the lakefront with pink and white crepe paper as a surprise for them. Alicia and Joshua had spent about thirty seconds together post-nuptials before our counselor interrupted them.

  “I’m sure this honeymoon will be a step up from that one,” I joked.

  Joshua sat silent.

  “Did I tell you where we’re going?” Alicia asked.

  “No, I don’t think you did.” I knew she hadn’t. It wasn’t information I would soon forget.