“He and I were so different, like opposites.”
Deja blinked at him. Okay, so he wanted to go back to talking about his parents. After that kiss? She’d roll with it. The man might not be in his right head. “That’s not uncommon. Everybody has their own personality.”
Heath seemed far away with his eyes unfocused on the mantel he faced. “He kept telling me to stay calm and not let everything make me fly off the handle. I didn’t think I was that bad, but he acted like it was the end of the world if I got worked up. Maybe he wanted me to be more like her since I looked like her.” He closed his eyes. “I remember her gentle and sad, but then she was sick all the time. Dad said he didn’t know how she hung on so long, and she would tell him it was because of his loving care.”
“You remember that?” She looked at him in doubt. “You were like five or something.”
He nodded.
“Well, you two had your issues. I’ll give you that, but he loved you, Heath. Don’t forget that. It’s the most important part. He loved you for you, and he was proud of you for what you’ve accomplished. Just like you said, the ranch is going good, and you were the one that saved the down payment for it and convinced the bank to give you a loan.”
His attention flicked to her and then to the pretzel bowl. He took her hand and laced his fingers with hers. She got it at last. He was nervous. They had always discussed family, and Heath complained to her about his dad just like she mouthed off about her stepmother, the woman who raised her after her father died of a heart attack. Heath left home to fulfill his dream years ago. She left at eighteen to keep from wrapping her fingers around her stepmother’s throat and strangling the evil wench. Sometimes, she wondered why her name wasn’t Cinderella, but then she had no stepsisters, and no inheritance to steal. Heath could be my prince, though.
“I was thinking,” he began.
“Yes?”
“We could be lovers.” He dropped the suggestion with baldness, not even making it seem like it was the next step. She realized she had expected him to say they should stop playing games and become a real couple. After all, everyone thought they were together. Some assumed it was an open relationship since once in awhile Deja went out on dates, and Heath kept a woman pretty constantly. Right now, they were both single.
“Lovers?” She hoped her tone didn’t reveal her disappointment, but Heath seemed too tied up into whatever thoughts ran through his mind to notice.
“We’ve been attracted to each other a long time. I’d say since high school.” His cheeks grew pink for some reason. “Well, high school for you probably when I stopped being a tall, scrawny kid, and for me when you started growing breasts.”
Deja burst out laughing. “You dirty beast.” She smacked his arm.
Heath let her hand go and gave her a little shake by the arms. “I’m serious, Deja.”
She stood up and put space between them. With him touching her, there was no way she wouldn’t leap into his arms and tell him hell yes, but doing that might screw up a friendship that had lasted years. They both had a lot to lose as neither of them had anyone else, and she told him so.
“Plus, you’re hurting right now, Heath. I don’t want to jump into bed with you as some sort of sexual balm. It wouldn’t be right for either of us. I might end up resenting you, and you might think I’m nothing but a whore.”
He frowned. “That’s impossible, for the simple fact that you’re hesitating. That shows me you’re a better woman than any I know. I agree, this is a serious decision. Maybe I am thinking about it because I’m feeling…you know…off because of Dad, but it has entered my mind different times for a long while. This isn’t new. I want you to think about it. I want to be your lover. If you find a guy you want to be with, you tell me and I will back off. The same goes for me.”
How hard was it for him to find a woman with them throwing themselves at his head every day? “Okay, I will.”
His eyes widened. “Really?”
She put her hands on her hips and put all her weight into one leg. “Why not? You’re hot as hell and have a body I’d like to explore. Why shouldn’t I consider letting you taste my chocolate goodness?”
Heath’s blue eyes seemed to blaze with fire, and he grazed her entire body from top to bottom with just a look at her suggestive words. The front of his sweatpants all of a sudden defined his hard-on as it extended partway down his thigh. Okay, if I wasn’t convinced before he’s attracted to me, now I am.
Chapter Three
“So, are you going to go for it?” Brenda, her friend and coworker asked. Brenda, as dear as she was to Deja, was not always the voice of reason. The woman seemed to love living vicariously through Deja, which was pretty bad since Deja lived a dull life. The occasional drama of telling a guy she needed to end it and the dude behaving like the fool he was—pair that with cussing Candi out at least once a month—made up Deja’s existence. If those incidents constituted fun for Brenda, the woman needed to get out more. Then again, she did say Heath could melt snow in an ice storm, but she admitted she didn’t have the guts to date a white guy. Hence, Deja had to do it.
Deja leaned against the doorframe in their tiny post office with her legs stretched out and crossed at the ankles. Her boss hadn’t shown yet today for some reason, so she delayed leaving on her route for a few minutes to shoot the breeze with Brenda. “Don’t get me wrong. I’m tempted, but I don’t know. Girl, if you’d seen… Oh, I can’t tell you that, too yummy.”
“Tell me,” Brenda demanded.
Deja eyed another clerk who worked the back with Brenda. She had no intention of letting her in on what she told her friend. The news would spread around town before she finished her route, and Heath would tell her never mind because she didn’t know how to keep her mouth shut.
With a gesture for Brenda to follow, she headed toward the bathroom, and they crowded inside the room just big enough to fit a wheelchair but not much more. At least they took turns keeping it spotless. The only man in the place, their boss, didn’t chip in, but who needed him to do a half-ass job of it anyway?
“Spill,” Brenda said when Deja got the door shut.
She had been referring to the hard-on when she told Brenda she couldn’t share that part, and it was true. Deja didn’t tell her friend everything. Even as a man, Heath was her best friend. She told nothing she thought would embarrass or shame him. Not that he needed to be. Just the imprint told her a lot. “He kissed me.”
“Tongue?”
“Oh yeah.” A tremor shook her voice at the memory, and her pussy clenched.
Brenda’s eyes went round, and her mouth made a little O. Deja knew she guessed her reaction to the kiss by the expression on Deja’s face.
“You gonna hit it?”
That part was the kicker. “He’s just lost his dad. He’s, for lack of a better word, vulnerable. If the roles were reversed, wouldn’t you think he was taking advantage of my weakened state of mind at a time like this?”
“This is Heath we’re talking about, Deja. You love him.”
Brenda’s words took her by surprise. While she spoke often about Heath, she’d never admitted her true feelings deep down inside. “Sure, I love him. He’s family. I—”
“No, girl, you know what I mean. You love him, Deja. You’re in love with Heath. Anyone who really knows you like I do can see it. You light up when you talk about him. He’s the first person you mention every morning when we talk, and the last person every evening when we say good night. If you’re gonna fool someone, at least don’t fool yourself.”
Deja clamped her teeth together, not ready to admit a thing, but tears started in her eyes, and she suspected she held them too wide to hold off the flow. Brenda was right, but maybe that meant she should tell him no.
Brenda laid a heavy hand on her arm, never realizing how rough she could be as a bigger woman. Deja didn’t care about her friend’s build, though, because Brenda had a heart the size of Texas, and she’d go to bat for her any day.<
br />
“Don’t look like somebody just stole your dog, girl,” Brenda teased, “because he loves you too. He just doesn’t know it yet. Men are thick-headed. It takes a boulder to fall on them to get a clue.”
Deja burst out laughing. “Ouch, won’t he be dead?”
“Thick, I told you. Not even a crack, but look, it’s up to you what you do. I say go for it. He might not know he loves you, but he does, and you love him. That means the sex will be like nothing you’ve had before. It won’t be sex. It will be making love.”
“Brenda James, you are a romantic.”
She shook with laughter. “Guilty.”
Deja agreed to come back after her route so they could have a late lunch and do a bit of shopping together.
* * * *
“So, what do you think of this one?” Brenda asked Deja, holding up a nightie.
Deja wrinkled her nose. “There are no nipples in that thing. Damn, I didn’t even know they had raunchy stuff like this here.”
“Yeah, but do you like it?” her friend insisted. “I know Heath will love it.”
“Girl, please, I could go in there butt naked and it would be all good.” She chewed the inside of her cheek, examining the sheer material of the nightie. Did she even dare? Hell, she hadn’t come to a final conclusion that she’d even say yes to Heath. Yet, here she was, allowing Brenda to talk her into shopping for something sexy for their first time together.
“I’m saying,” Brenda agreed. “But is it the look you’re going for? Do you want to be the sweet and innocent virgin like this white piece here, or do you want the red one with holes where the nipples go? I think it comes with crotchless panties too.”
Deja shook her head. “Number one, I’m nobody’s virgin, okay?”
Brenda slapped her hand in a high five, and they laughed.
“Second,” Deja continued, “I’m not sure I’m going to do this.”
“You’ll do it.” Brenda’s tone held complete confidence. She stuffed a few more pieces into Deja’s hands for her to peruse. “On the off chance you don’t go for it, I will call you crazy, and you’ll have some nice stuff for the next guy.”
“Like I need this stuff to beat a guy off with a stick. I’m already having to turn them down.”
Brenda let out a whoop that had heads turning their way in the store. “That’s what I’m talking about. You know you have it, Deja, so you have to flaunt it.”
Deja hated to correct her. “It’s not that I know I have it. It’s that there just isn’t much competition in this town. Anybody who looks like anything or has any ambition in his life has moved on. Everybody else has to pick through the leftovers.”
“Well, damn, here I was thinking you had enough self-esteem for all of us, and you go and bust my bubble.”
Brenda’s pout made Deja crack up. “Oh, my self-esteem is fine. I’m just messing with you. I guess you’ve convinced me. I will take the white and the red and decide when we’re together which one I’m going for.”
“So you’re definitely doing it?”
She sighed. “Yes, Brenda, I’m doing it. I’m going to be Heath’s lover.”
The gasp behind them made both Deja and Brenda spin around to see Candi standing there. Red crept into the woman’s face until Deja thought she would pass out. Her shaped eyebrows stretched almost to her hairline and then crashed low on her forehead. Her wide mouth tightened into a bow, and she curled her manicured nails as if they were claws. Deja put a hand on her hip and waited. Let her try something if she wanted. Before she could say anything, Brenda leaped in front of her, moving faster than Deja gave her credit for. “How you doin’, Candi, honey? I thought you’d be at the diner at this time, what with the late lunch and early dinner crowd coming in.”
Brenda said crowd, but gathering one wasn’t too hard when the diner where Candi worked happened to be one of two decent places to eat in town. Aside from that, she had to wonder if Candi followed her around the way they bumped into one another. Then again, someone like Candi would know about this place selling racier items. Deja hadn’t given it a second thought in passing, until today.
“I’m on break, thank you very much,” Candi snapped. She scraped another look over Deja and pivoted on her heel to flounce away. Deja watched her go, knowing full well she’d overheard their conversation. Candi would either redouble her efforts or give up. She got her answer when the woman stopped before a man near the door and put a hand on his chest, casting him an alluring smile and fluttering her lashes. Too far away, Deja couldn’t hear what she said, but knew it would be an invitation to her bed. Deja examined the man and recognized the stranger she’d seen at the burial. She never did ask Heath if he knew him or if he’d approached him to give his condolences, and she knew for a fact he never came to the house. Maybe he was new in town.
“Hey, Brenda, you know him?” She gestured with a point of her chin, trying to be subtle.
Her friend turned to look. “Mm, not bad.”
Not bad where? Does she see that nose?
“He has that rugged, dangerous look,” Brenda said, coming close to purring. “Too bad the skank got to him first, but then he doesn’t look like he’s going for it.”
Deja considered looking away and making Brenda do the same before the man caught them, but she couldn’t help herself. Around there, almost everybody knew their neighbor, and anyone else who wandered into town within a couple of hours. This guy eluded the usual gossip mill if Brenda hadn’t picked up news on him. She wouldn’t stoop to asking Candi when she finished her play for the guy. Ah well, maybe the wind would soon blow him out of town the way it brought him in.
While they stared, the man’s gaze rose from Candi’s flushed face to lock with Deja’s. Brenda was right. He did have that dangerous air to him, and she shivered. Who the heck did he come into a woman’s boutique to shop for, and was she nuts to even get involved with a guy like him? She hoped her assessment of his character was wrong, for the woman’s sake, and was glad she and hers weren’t on his radar. She took Brenda’s arm and pulled her in the direction of the cashier. They had been there long enough.
* * * *
Heath ran a hand over his forehead, swiping away the moisture. He straightened and stretched his stiff muscles from bending over for so long. Because his ranch wasn’t one of the biggest, and he needed to conserve money, he had to do a lot of the labor himself, along with the couple of guys he hired to help out. After mucking out the barn, his drenched shirt clung to his skin, and he unbuttoned it, dragged it off his shoulders, and used the material as a towel to clean up some of the moisture on his chest. When he was done with the barn, he moved outside to his tractor. Time to feed the cattle.
“Ready?” Buck called when he spotted Heath.
“Yeah.”
Buck was a friend and one of his ranch hands. Buck pissed him off with his notions a good bit of the time, but he didn’t need to be told what to do or learn how to run the ranch. His friend had worked various jobs on ranches in the area and down in Texas for years. He too had a dream like Heath did, to have his own, but Heath was grateful he’d agreed to help him when his time came first.
Heath drove the feed wagon out while Buck went to get the minerals. They would add in some corn by-product and hay and have the mixture he fed his animals twice a day. The job took a bit of time, what with how slowly the cattle ate and how much of it, but he wanted them healthy for when the time came to sell. Taking shortcuts wasn’t something he entertained.
Today he put in extra hours, having risen earlier than usual so he could work until it hurt to breathe. At least then he wouldn’t think of losing his father so much. He knew over time, the pain would ease, but the loneliness of having no family wouldn’t. Sure, he had Deja, and having her made the difference between sinking into despair and moving forward, but what about if she found a man to share her life with? Part of the reason he’d suggested they become lovers was so that wouldn’t happen. Selfish, he knew, but he didn’t deny it. W
hy did family mean so much to him? Maybe it was because he never had a good relationship with his father and his mother died so early in his life. Sometimes, he dreamed of finding a wife and settling down to have a houseful of kids, but then for some reason, he never made the effort. A few flings here and there was all it amounted to.
As he stepped from the truck, he winced at the shooting pain in his head. He rubbed his temple and cursed. Because he woke earlier than usual trying to escape his thoughts, he forgot to take his meds. “Hey, Buck, I’ll be right back. I need to do something real quick at the house.”
Buck called after him, but Heath pretended not to hear. The only person who knew he took meds regularly to ward off the pain and to suppress the vivid dreams he had on the regular was Deja. He didn’t need anyone else knowing. Having taken them all his life, he was used to it, and they helped for the most part.
He entered his house through the back door and headed to his bathroom. The pill bottle sat in the cabinet there, and he popped it open to dump two into his palm. Come to think of it, his father usually stocked him up when he drove over to Oklahoma City. Heath had allowed him to keep up the practice because his time was so consumed making his ranch a success. He took the bottle back out of the cabinet and dumped the rest of the pills into his hand. Ten days worth remained. How the hell could he be so irresponsible as to not find out where his father got the supply after all this time? He thought about it and came to the conclusion that the pills were the single thing they never argued about. He needed them. His dad had asked to do that small favor for him, and he’d allowed it because of that. Now what? He had to have them or suffer without them. Maybe his father had information in his papers.
Heath left the bathroom and strode along the hall to stop at his dad’s bedroom door. He’d closed it the day he got the news, and when he opened it now, the familiar scent of the man hit him hard. He slammed the door and backed away. He had work to do.
Tiger Bound Page 2
