Outside, he threw himself into feeding the cattle until Buck noticed. “Hey, pace yourself, dude. You’ll throw out your back, and then what? Who’s going to pick up the slack?”
Heath pulled off his hat, ran fingers through his wet hair, and stuffed it back on. “Just have some things on my mind is all.”
“Like what?”
They worked together to toss more hay into the feeder. He needed to buy a new tractor, as the used one he purchased a few years ago gave him more trouble than it was worth. He hesitated to talk to Buck about his feelings regarding his dad, but discussing Deja was fine.
“I asked Deja about becoming lovers,” he blurted.
Buck looked around as if checking to see if anyone else was near. “You mean like girlfriend-boyfriend stuff?”
Heath frowned. “Yeah, I guess.”
Buck said nothing for a long time. Heath thought he had no opinion on the matter, or he wanted to avoid an argument. Then again, that never stopped the man from voicing what he felt. When they took a break and sucked down a few bottles of water, Buck swiped an arm over his face then used the hose to douse his head. Heath waved a hand, deciding not to follow suit.
“So don’t you have anything to say?” he insisted.
Buck pulled a tin can from his pocket and stuffed a few bites of tobacco into his mouth, frustrating Heath all the more. He spit and spoke at last. “The way I see it, if you want to have a piece of that black meat, you do it in secret. Hell, I always wondered why you and she was best friends, but sounds like you want to get serious. I think—”
“I think you’ve already said more than enough,” Heath bit out. “I never figured you to be prejudiced.”
“I’m not,” Buck denied.
“What do you call it?” Heath took a step toward him, but Buck held up his glove-covered hands, retreating.
“Come on, Heath, I’m your friend.”
“Fuck off.”
Buck wouldn’t let it go. “You’re telling me you’re okay with having her for a girlfriend, or hell, a wife? I mean, if you didn’t have any reservations, don’t you think you would have done it before now? And why wait until your dad was gone? Why now? Because he wouldn’t approve? Maybe you’re doing it because you’re scared you’ll lose another person, and you don’t want that.”
Even as his anger boiled, Heath couldn’t deny the sense Buck made. Had he really made Deja the offer because he didn’t want to be alone? If that were the case, he was no better than a child, a little boy, unable to get along in the world without help. He grabbed Buck up by the collar of his shirt and jerked him hard. When he raised a fist to smash into his friend’s nose, he paused. Punishing Buck for his small mind didn’t mean he was the better man, and it didn’t clarify for him if he felt the same.
“Go ’head, if you think it will help,” Buck said. “Then we can get back to work.”
Heath sneered at him, but he backed off. Ignoring Buck was the least of his issues. When the day came to an end, he mounted his horse and took to the fields behind his property. Riding hard and letting the wind hit his face would clear his mind. He knew now Buck wasn’t the friend he thought, and he had no intention of talking to him again. Anyone who thought Deja wasn’t good enough because of the color of her skin could not be a part of his life. He couldn’t afford to switch out ranch hands, so he would keep Buck on, but the friendship ended there.
After he had gone until both he and the horse were winded, he came to a stop by a stream and let the animal drink. Heath dismounted and strolled a few feet away. He searched the clear blue sky, but no answer came to him. In fact, pain shot through his head, and his legs buckled. He stooped, catching himself with one hand on the ground, and a vision exploded across his mind’s eye. A man stood before him and extended a hand out. The reality of it impacted him so much he reached out in return, but there was no one there. More agony, as if his head would explode, made him fight not to pass out. He had waited too late to take the pills, and the stash ran low. The option of putting off searching his father’s papers had come to an end.
When he could stand, Heath stumbled back to his horse and rode home at a reduced pace. He popped more pills, although he couldn’t afford to, and washed them down with a beer. Not a good idea, but facing his dad’s things needed something extra. Rather than wait until all the pain receded, he squared his shoulders and headed into the room. He left the door wide to air out the place.
A half hour later, Deja shouted down the hall. “Hey, Heath, you here?”
“In Dad’s room,” he called back, glad for the interruption. She appeared in the doorway, and he allowed his gaze to rove her slender body. Small of stature and figure, but she had big breasts. He hadn’t been lying when he told her his body came alive when she started growing them. Deja’s breasts rivaled every other woman’s he’d ever met, and they were perky too. He dreamed of tasting them and running his thumbs over the hardened nipples, or letting them tease his palms.
She was spicy with her sarcastic wit that kept him laughing, but her beauty outshone even that. She grew her hair just past her shoulders and kept it braided most of the time, pinned high on her head because of the Oklahoma heat, she said. He liked it down, brushing her shoulders, so he could pull it whenever he wanted. Thinking that way brought to mind him tugging it while he fucked her in the ass, and his cock grew hard. He shifted his position so she wouldn’t see.
“What are you doing?” she asked.
“Packing his things.” He dropped his gaze back to his task and stared at the box of clothes. Another held random papers, bills he had no idea why his father even kept. From his quick scan, none of them held a clue to his meds, but he would go through them a second time with care once he was done organizing everything.
Deja dropped beside him and began folding clothes for another box. “You don’t have to do this now, you know. It hasn’t been that long. All your emotions are still fresh. You have to wait awhile.”
He forced a smile. “I’m not as fragile as you seem to think I am, Deja.”
She cast him a look of doubt, and he grabbed for her. She darted away on her hands and knees before he could capture her, but his fingers brushed her side, so close to the beginning swell of her breast. Desire hit him hard, but he resisted it. When he didn’t pursue her further, she twisted around and sat on her ass to watch him.
“About what I said,” he began.
She lowered her lashes and fiddled with the shirt she folded. “Yeah, about that.”
“Don’t you think people will question our being together?” he asked.
Her gaze flew to his face. “Are you serious?”
“You don’t think so?”
She frowned. “I never thought you’d feel that way. You always acted like our being different races meant nothing to you. I guess I thought wrong.”
“Don’t jump to conclusions, Deja. That’s not what I’m saying.” He stood up and paced. “I don’t want to use you. I don’t want to be with you for the wrong reasons either.”
“Sounds like you’re just making excuses.” She heaved her shoulders and appeared to make a conscious effort to calm down. “As far as I’m concerned, I do what I want to do. If anyone doesn’t like it, fuck ’em. I know even in this day and age, people will have an issue. I’d be a naïve idiot not to realize that, but neither do I govern my life in a way that’s based on what others think of me. If you do, maybe you’re not the man I thought you were.”
He gritted his teeth and shoved his hands into his pockets. “I just said I’m not like that, damn it! I asked you because Buck brought it up and—”
“Oh, of course, Buck. We know what an upstanding guy he is.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
She rocked back on her heels and crossed her arms over her chest. The movement brought his gaze to her luscious rack, and he chastised himself for not thinking past her physical person. He’d hurt her feelings, something he hadn’t meant to do.
“I
told my friend about what we were thinking, and she was all for it. She’s black, by the way.”
“And mine is a jerk because he’s white?”
She shrugged.
“Look, I brought it up because I wanted to be sure I don’t harbor those feelings. I think you deserve better than that. Deja, we’ve been friends for years, and I don’t want to screw it up. Tell me you understand.”
“I understand.”
He peered at her, wondering if she really did or just said she did to make him drop the subject. “I want to be with you, but I have to be sure it’s not because of my dad or anything else. I want to be sure my motives are right.”
“And yet, you’re the one who brought it all up.” She pushed up off the balls of her feet and her hands. “I think I should go for the time being. Give me a call, okay?”
“You’re not angry?”
“No, I’m not.”
He knew she lied, but he let her walk out the door.
Chapter Four
Deja sat across the table from Hank, her date, and regretted ever saying yes. Okay, she planned to force herself to move on from Heath, but Hank might not be the one. She had to give the man credit. After all, he didn’t mind being out on an obvious date with her, including candlelight, dress clothes—dress for him meant clean jeans and a plaid shirt with a tie—and a restaurant other than the diner where Candi worked. Earlier, when it appeared he was headed over there, she disabused him of that notion and told him if he didn’t take her to Robbie Bob’s Steak and Grill, she would go home. He got a grip fast, but their conversation left something to be desired.
“So then, I felt the best thing for me to do was to put my hand up there and help get him out,” Hank was saying. “Sometimes, you have to do that when your calf is in trouble.”
Deja put her fork down with absolute care and swallowed. She would not be sick. Not in this restaurant where everyone would see, and not in front of Hank, even if she didn’t like him. This was Heath’s fault. She knew he hadn’t hurt her on purpose, but that didn’t change the fact that he had. If he didn’t have reservations about being seen in public with her as anything but friends, then he should never have brought it up. Sure, he could blame it on Buck, but she’d heard the uncertainty in his tone. Heath didn’t have a prejudiced bone in his body as far as she knew. She didn’t believe he thought she was less than him because of her skin color, but seeing her as a girlfriend might be beyond him, and she would not under any circumstances sit around waiting for the impossible. Let him mull it over and second-guess himself until he was blue in the face. She would do what she could to get past him, and when she called this ridiculous date a wrap, the next guy could come on.
Her cell phone rang, and she welcomed it as an excuse to interrupt Hank’s monologue. “Excuse me a minute. I have to take this. Hello?”
“Hey,” Heath said.
A thrill ran over her at the deep, rumbling timbre. “Hey.”
“I was thinking you should come over,” he suggested.
“No, I don’t think so. I’m busy.” Temptation to make it clear she was out on a date came over her, but she resisted. She wanted to be the bigger woman and not try to make him jealous. If he wanted to be with her, he would do so without the manipulation. A few days had passed since they last spoke, not unheard of given how busy he got sometimes, but it still pissed her off with the note they parted on.
“Don’t be stubborn, Deja,” he coaxed. “We can have fun together just like we always have.” Deja cursed him in silence, moving her lips. Hank, watching her, paled as if she’d said it to him. Men are stupid. “You know there’s so much more to my life than you.” She hung up.
New determination rolled over Deja, and she picked up her knife and fork to cut her steak. She pointed the knife at her date. “Listen, Hank, if you want to find a good woman, a decent one, you better learn what to say to her and what not to say. You’re, what, twenty-five?”
He reddened. “Twenty-nine.”
She chuckled. “I’m thirty-two. Anyway, it’s time we get it together, don’t you think?”
His expression brightened. “Get together?”
“I said get it together! That means you need to learn how to talk to a woman. I told you no all this time because of the way you approached me. I didn’t like it.” She noted his embarrassment but plowed on. If she didn’t set the man straight, who would? “And I don’t want to know the details of you birthing cattle at the dinner table. It’s gross. You should have called the vet, for Pete’s sake.”
“But that’s all a part of the natural—”
“Hank.” He fell silent, and she gentled her tone. “I’m sorry. There’s probably a woman who’s right for you, but I’m not her. I give you credit for being bold enough to try. Maybe the way you speak and the subject matter is just right for someone else, not me.”
“So you want me to take you home? I thought we would see a movie later. I was going to drive you over to the next county to see one in that new theatre they got over there.”
She didn’t mind admitting to herself she’d wanted to go check it out, but she had expected the trip would be taken with Heath. No, she had to get over him. If their friendship survived this bump and she forced her feelings to settle down after he’d given them hope, maybe, but she could not count on it.
“Well,” she began, but paused when she heard the screech of tires outside the window. She peered out, but caught only her own reflection and leaned closer, shading her eyes. Her stomach dropped when she recognized the black Dodge Ram. “Ah hell.”
Hank squinted, looking too. “Who is that?”
Deja rolled her eyes. “You don’t want to know.” Who the heck told him about the date anyway? Then again, it was bound to happen. The fact that it took Heath this long to hear took a miracle. That he showed up took her by surprise.
While she sat there, eating the food that had gone cold and pretending to enjoy herself, she waited for Heath to come inside and locate them. Whoever built the restaurant had thought it would be fun to give it a few turns and unnecessary walls. The place had thrown up the cowboy theme all the way down to the stirrups and saddles hanging on the wall as if waiting for a rider to come in and hoist them over his shoulder on the way to his horse.
Deja felt Heath arrive before she saw him. The heat in his gaze burned and excited her at the same time. She sat with tension in her shoulders while trying to appear relaxed. Rather than ignore him, she smiled his way. “Hey, Heath, what are you doing here?”
A scowl marred his handsome face. He was less put together than usual, having mis-buttoned his shirt. “Let’s go, Deja.” Her guess was whoever called told him to get his ass down to Robbie Bob’s stat. She speculated on whether Brenda made the call. No, even if she didn’t agree with Deja’s decisions, she had her back. Unlike Buck. He would be glad I moved on.
“As you can see, I’m on a date, Heath. Was it important?”
Heath bore down on her and grabbed her hand. Deja yanked away, but he held on. While Heath held her in a firm grip, he didn’t hurt her, but Hank jumped to his feet and stalked over to them. “Get your hands off my woman, Heath. Just like she said, we’re on a date.”
“Whoa, big boy.” Deja stood up and managed to tug her hand free of Heath’s. Who was Hank calling his woman? Hadn’t he heard a word she said about her not being the right one for him, and didn’t he seem willing to take her home early? She put a hand on each man’s chest and pushed. Neither budged. Heath was big and all defined muscle. Hank had nothing to be ashamed of in size, but a layer of softness coated whatever muscle he had beneath. She felt the resistance when she tried pushing him back. He had to be a good two hundred fifty pounds, at least.
“Your woman?” Heath sneered. “You’re mistaken. Deja, I said let’s go.”
Before she could say a word, stupid Hank swung on Heath, probably trying to impress her. Heath dodged the punch with ease and threw one of his own. The impact of fist meeting jaw made her cringe, an
d Hank smashed into the table behind him, sending dishes, food, and the patrons who sat at the table, crashing to the floor.
She’d never seen Heath act jealous, not even when she ran into him with her past boyfriends. He never once called them out or demanded she leave with him, and it pissed her off that he acted like this now.
“I think you need to leave, Heath. I don’t remember saying I belong to either one of you, and I don’t like how you’re acting. If you want to talk to me, you can give me a call tomorrow, and I might squeeze you into my schedule.”
She thought he would make another demand, but his anger seemed to drain away. The rage in his eyes turned to a plea, and her heart stirred. “Deja, give me a chance…please. That’s all I’m asking for.”
She gasped and then nodded. Hank still lay on the floor, knocked out. Deja gathered her purse and rifled through it for money. She laid a couple twenties beside her plate and gingerly stepped over Hank’s legs and the mess on the floor. “Tell him I’m really sorry when he wakes up, okay?” she asked those standing around who had watched the interchange.
When they had settled into Heath’s truck and headed down the road, Deja shook her head. “You know he could press charges, right?”
“Let him. I have witnesses that he swung first.”
“Damn, Heath, why did you act like that?”
He grabbed for her hand, and she let him hold it, her heart racing so much it was hard to catch her breath.
“I think you know why, but we can talk about it at home. You’re willing to come?”
She licked her lips. “Okay, let’s go.”
* * * *
Deja walked into Heath’s living room rubbing her arms. The night had grown cool, and she’d worn a short-sleeved blouse to her date. Heath followed behind her, picking up on her thoughts as if they were connected. “You wore that to your date?”
Tiger Bound Page 3
