His Lordship's Lap

by Breanna Hayse

  “That’s my good girl. I have a gift for you. Close your eyes.”

  “Are you going to make love to me again?” she asked suspiciously.

  He laughed. “No, but this is almost as good.”

  ***

  She twirled before the dressing mirror after he adorned her in a beautiful dress consisting of a white ruffled silk blouse, a vibrant purple jacket with pearl buttons, and multiple layers of matching purple outer skirts that overlapped a soft lifting bustle. The ensemble was completed with a combination of white and purple silk petticoats, white heeled boots and an amethyst studded snood that held her long hair in a graceful sling down her back.

  “I look like a lady,” she whispered, gazing at herself in wonderment.

  “You are a lady. Church and formal events are the only times we allow the women to dress out of the daily uniforms. I had Edward purchase these dresses for you and Marie when he traveled to London last week. I must admit that his taste is exquisite. Purple is my favorite color,” he said, touching her pendant.

  “Mine as well. I’ve never seen jeweled irises. They are stunning,” she asked, touching the silver necklace and earrings whose amethyst petals and emerald leaves glimmered in the morning light.

  “I had them made when I discovered your fondness for irises. I hope you aren’t disappointed that I withheld the purchase of a corset. I find those things abhorrent.”

  “I will have to introduce you to the decorative benefit of that garment.” Vanessa winked. “If properly fitted, they can make a woman look and feel sensual.”

  “You already look and feel sensual. I don’t need you fainting from a lack of air in an attempt to appear even more so. I wish you to be comfortable in your beauty and to leave your suffering to my hands when we are alone.”

  “Suffering as like last evening?”

  “You suffered much for me, didn’t you, my Queen of Pleasure?” he asked, raising the back of her hand to his mouth and kissing it.

  “I did, and I look forward to much, much more, my King of Pain.”

  Time seemed to pause as they stared into one another’s eyes. Clearing his throat and adjusting the growing preponderance under the smooth cloth of his tailored trousers, Harrison announced that it was time to leave.

  ***

  Although the day was fairly sunny and the sky was free of the ominous summer storm clouds, the buggy ride to church was everything but pleasant for Vanessa. The bumps, juts and potholes on the dirt road caused the cab to bounce erratically under her extremely sore backside. Even with the paddled bench and extra pillow, she was left dreading the requirement to sit quietly on the hard wooden pew during the services and further worried about the state of her bottom after Harrison’s distribution of the caramels. By the time they arrived, the parish grounds were already flooded with people and the young woman felt herself pulling back to hide in the corner of the carriage.

  “There are too many strangers, Harrison. I can’t do this.”

  “You have stood before many more strangers than this, darling. Look at me. You will be the First Lady, so hold your chin high and open your arms to those who support us.”

  “And what of those who don’t?” she asked, recognizing the ugly, scowling face of Randolph Keyes from the academy. “How do I handle them?”

  “Let those who oppose us know that you cannot be swayed. Your power comes in the knowledge of who you are, my queen.” He kissed her inner wrist. “Bullies attack those who they perceive as weak, and they can smell fear from a mile away. Disguise your fear with confidence and they won’t know what to do.”

  “You are very good at playing this game, aren’t you?” she asked with admiration.

  “Her Majesty taught me these things, and now I share them with you. My parents are waiting. Let’s make our appearance. Head up, my beauty.”

  He lifted her by the waist from the buggy and set her on the wooden platform next to the buggy’s hitching post. She took his offered arm, lifted the skirts gracefully and stared straight ahead as he escorted her to where the Head of State and his scowling wife waited.

  “Mother? Father? You’ve met Vanessa.”

  “I can’t believe that you brought that tramp to church,” his mother hissed.

  “Now, now, Marta, even the sinful deserve a chance of salvation.”

  “Now listen, you two—” Harrison intercepted.

  “Pardon me?” Vanessa interrupted, raising her eyebrow. “By what evidence have you concluded that I am either a tramp or sinful?”

  “Your circumstances, my dear,” Lord Ansley said. “We are all aware of my son’s preference for the looser ladies.”

  “I assure you, Sir, that there is nothing loose about me. I was educated in the House of Pankhurst under Cambridge tutors.”

  “Your education has little to do with your dalliances, young woman.”

  “Stop this at once, Father!”

  “No, Harrison, let him have his peace. I am assuming that you are talking about the magistrate’s son, are you not? I expect that you have done a thorough investigation of my past the moment you discovered that I had caught Harrison’s eye. Let’s discuss that right now. He raped me. Granted, I had too much wine and was unable to protect myself from his scheme, but he took me by force in the presence of his friends to win a wager and free himself from marrying a woman of whom he held no interest. Being that you are such an advocate for justice and protecting a woman’s virtue, I would have expected you to understand and be appalled by my situation. After all, this event, which you refer to as a dalliance, conflicts with the very laws that you have established here to protect your people from abuse.”

  She took advantage of his shocked silence to continue, ignoring the audience that she was attracting. “You are known to be a stern leader and an avid follower of truth. So tell me, Head of State, what occurs to women who are raped when under your jurisdiction? Do you punish them for a man’s inability to control his urges, or do you expect the man to be responsible for his actions?”

  She had him cornered. If he advocated her treatment, it would make him look like a hypocrite in front of his people. Before he could sputter an answer, she remarked. “I have no doubt in my mind that you would have put that ill-mannered boy before the public to teach him right from wrong. That is what a good, honest leader does. I also believe that the magistrate fed you the wrong information to save himself from shame. Therefore, I can’t blame you for your conclusion. I’m glad to be in your country, Lord Ansley. I’m tired of living in a world where abuse and manipulation are encouraged, and where the governing officials care nothing for their subjects. Thank you for allowing me to come here and start a new life.”

  Lord Ansley cleared his throat, glancing around at the crowd. “I, um, I apologize for my statement. I wasn’t aware of your situation until now.”

  “Maybe you will ask before drawing conclusions the next time, Father,” Harrison growled. “Mother? You also owe Vanessa an apology. You acted out of line with your demands nor do you have the authority to expel anyone from the academy.”

  “What’s this?” Lord Ansley asked, glancing at his wife. “Did you try to remove this child from our place of learning?”

  “She was disrupting the class. I had no choice.”

  “She threatened a paddle against an engaged woman, Father. It was very distressing to Vanessa and the majority of her classmates. Three of your Unweds were also involved and attacked her verbally as well, using gossip as their source.”

  “I was unaware of this. I offer my apologies to you, Miss Pankhurst, and I ensure you that any gossip regarding you will be forbidden by any in my household, including my wife.” The man leaned forward and kissed the back of her hand.

  “Thank you, Sir. May we please go inside? I find the sun is making me quite warm.” Vanessa asked, noticing Harrison’s tiny gestures to enter the building.

  “After you, my dear,” the older man said graciously.

  “You have him by the balls, my little
queen. He won’t misbehave in public now. I am hoping that he will recognize you to be a formidable enemy if he crosses you,” Harrison whispered in her ear.

  “To be honest, he isn’t my concern. It’s your mother.”

  “Without his support, she has no power. You exposed them to their peers, but also gave Father a means to save face. His pride will force him to maintain that, and he won’t care about the cost to Mother.”

  “I almost feel sorry for her, having to live like this.”

  “It is her own doing. She married him for power and wealth and used blackmail to force him to take her hand. He’s resented her ever since.”

  “Such an ugly way to live. What’s that?”

  “The caramels. Sit next to Father and tuck them into his hand. Trust me.”

  “Harrison, I need to tell you something.”

  “Later. Services are about to start.”

  Reluctantly, she obeyed and touched the older man’s arm to gain his attention before slipping the cloth wrapped candies into his palm. He glanced at her with a raised eyebrow, and she whispered, “Caramels.”

  A partial smile lit his face, and he glanced at Harrison before popping one into his mouth. A second one followed before he started passing the confections to others. Vanessa’s desire to sink under the pew was intense as people began whispering with subdued giggles. No doubt existed that Harrison was going to kill her for this!

  By the time the preacher stumbled to the pulpit, half the room was in a twitter. When he dropped his goblet of sacramental wine, several people erupted into contagious uncontrolled laughter which spread like wildfire. Harrison frowned, glancing around the room before looking down into Vanessa’s guilty face. “What’s going on?”

  “I tried to tell you. I put ‘love’ powder into the caramel mix hoping that you would eat it,” she admitted. “I didn’t know you were going to give it to your father and the rest of the congregation!”

  Harrison stared mutely into her face and then broke out in a loud, unstrained laugh. “Dear Lord,” he sputtered, wiping tears from the corners of his eyes. “Please tell me that this isn’t true!”

  “It is. I’m sorry,” she hung her head.

  “Nessa, I didn’t want you to have any of that candy because I placed ‘joy’ power into it. The mixture of the two leads to, well, this.”

  By then, people were grabbing their stomachs and laughing with one another. Lord Ansley wrapped his arm around Vanessa’s shoulders and yanked her next to his side. “You’re a pretty thing. I like this girl, Harrison. You have my permission to keep her.”

  “Thank you, Father, but I don’t require anyone’s permission.”

  “Nonsense. Every boy want’s his father’s approval. Marta! Why are you so sour? This girl is going to be your daughter-in-law!”

  Lady Ansley had apparently not accepted one of Harrison’s caramels. “She is a witch. Can’t you see what she has done to our polite society?”

  “I suspect that what has happened here is a result of Harrison’s caramels and not this little girl. Don’t look so surprised, boy. I know you put joy potion into the things, although I don’t ever remember feeling quite this elated.”

  “Maybe that’s because he made them with ‘love’ this time,” Vanessa suggested, jumping as Harrison pinched her bottom. A tap on her shoulder made her look behind her. It was Marie.

  “What’s happening here? We just arrived, and I’ve never seen this place in such a disarray.”

  “I’ll tell you later. Just don’t eat the caramels. They are spiked,” Vanessa whispered back.

  “You didn’t! Harrison is going to kill you!”

  “This was mostly his doing, not mine. He put something called ‘joy’ into the mixture before I added ‘love,' to them.” She giggled. “I must admit that special candy definitely breaks the ice.”

  “They are going to be like this for hours,” Marie snickered. “Edward! Did you hear what Harrison and Vanessa did?”

  “Stop the chattering, you two,” Harrison scolded, turning around in the pew. “This is out of control. When Sir Landers finds out—”

  The man appeared next to Harrison and tapped his shoulder. “Finds out what, young man? Is this ruckus your doing? The poor pastor can’t even stand up straight and your father—well, I don’t know what to say about him right now.” He gestured to the austere man who had taken to dancing with one of his servants in the aisle while his wife glowered silently from her seat.

  Vanessa and Marie looked at each other and exploded into peals of raucous laughter as Harrison tried to explain what had happened. Edward joined them, wrapping his arms around his stomach as he, too, lost control. Sir Landers shook his head, looked around at the crowd of hysterical people and sighed.

  “I don’t know what to do with you boys at times.”

  “Father, I wasn’t involved in this!” Edward protested. “At least, not this time.”

  “Has this occurred before?” Vanessa asked, wiping her eyes.

  “Every time Harrison brings candy for his father, it is a sure sign that there will be some mischief following. It is usually Edward’s idea, so don’t believe his innocence for a minute. As boys, they were always pulling some prank so why would anything change as they matured into men?”

  Harrison made a face. “It isn’t as though it wasn’t necessary. I just had no idea that my sweet darling was going to add to the mixture.”

  “Hey! Don’t throw me under the buggy. I didn’t know that you were going to give potioned candy to a church group. You said you wanted something sweet, so I thought it was for you.”

  Sir Landers managed to maintain a stoic expression, unaffected by the actions around him. “I want the four of you outside this minute. You would think that I wouldn’t have to scold grown adults as though they were little children.”

  “I didn’t do anything!” both Marie and Edward called out, quickly following his gesture to leave the building.

  Once outside, the older man again shook his head. “This is going to ruin our dinner party, you know.”

  “Maybe it will make it more enjoyable,” Edward said. “Having Lord and Lady Ansley present doesn’t lend itself to the most joyous of occasions.”

  “Except that she hasn’t eaten any of those caramels. Didn’t you see how sour she was?” Marie asked, elbowing Edward in the ribs.

  “She’s always sour. I’m sorry, Sir Landers. I had no idea that things would come to this,” Harrison apologized, looking back as another wave of laughter escaped the building. “At least most people could honestly say that church was enjoyable today, right?”

  “Harrison needs a spanking.” Vanessa giggled.

  “Harrison needs an obedient wife who will support him when he’s in trouble with his uncle,” Sir Landers scolded. “Really, Vanessa, love powder in the candy? Let’s head to my place and escape this chaos. Boys, you may ride together. I am taking the ladies with me.”

  “Are we in trouble?” Vanessa whispered to Marie.

  She shook her head. “No. He will blame the boys for all of this. Even Edward, just because he’s a man. Didn’t I tell you that mischief could be fun?”

  “You did, and you are right.”

  “I notice that you are walking with tenderness. Did you enjoy your gardening lesson?” Marie whispered in her ear.

  “Very much so. Oh, thank you, Sir Landers,” Vanessa said as the man offered his hand to help her into his large, spacious coach.

  “My pleasure. Did you hurt your ankle? You are very slow in movement, my dear.”

  “She had a gardening lesson,” Marie giggled, accepting his hand while stepping inside. “She’s having problems walking.”

  “Marie!”

  The older man laughed, settling onto the driving bench. “I gather that the lesson was well learned. Off we go now.”

  Once at his home, he sent Harrison and Edward doing penance by chopping wood while the ladies were entertained in the parlor. Try as she may, Vanessa felt no guilt a
s she watched the bare-chested young men swing the axes against the dried logs.

  “It times like these that I wish I could use a slingshot,” Marie said, joining her at the window. “I would love to see the look on Edward’s face after he is pelted with a ripe tomato, wouldn’t you?”

  “They do look like they could use some cooling off. Are there any new pig bladders around?”

  “In the cellar. The cook fills them with water to stretch them out and keep them from drying so that she can use them to stuff sausage meats.” Marie grinned. “I just happen to know where Edward’s slingshots are hidden, if you are interested.”

  “Get them and I’ll show you how it’s done,” Vanessa whispered.

  After retrieving a dozen cold pig bladders filled with water, Vanessa met her partner-in-crime on the veranda accompanied by the Unwed women from both the Landers and Ansley homes. “What are they all doing here?” she asked. “We’re going to get caught.”

  “They want to learn this craft. Plus, it’s fun to see our future First Lady make mischief with our Lieutenant Governor.”

  “You just want to see me get spanked!” Vanessa scolded.

  “That too,” Marie laughed, joined by the others. She produced two slingshots. “I found these in Edward’s foot chest. I thought that perhaps two of us can fire the bladders while the others hand them to us.”

  “Very well. Just remember to duck behind the wall and don’t let them see us.” With an evil grin, Vanessa aimed the water filled bladder straight at Harrison’s bare back. The second it let loose, she dropped behind the stone wall with the others. Cautiously, she peeked over the top to watch his reaction as the bladder exploded across the span of his broad shoulders. He stood straight, looking around for the culprit and then spoke to Edward, who shrugged. Another bladder flew, catching him on the back of the head.

  Muffling their giggles in their hands, the girls set to work with a flurry of water filled bladders splashing against the men. Unable to avoid the flying bombs, the two tossed their axes aside and began to stomp towards the house.

  “Quickly, Marie! Go into the parlor and pretend to be teaching me how to embroider while the other go back to work. Don’t any of you dare tell on me!” Vanessa ordered, scurrying inside. They were settled in their spots when the two wet men stormed into the room.