Parents in Training

by Barbara McMahon

  He looked at his wife. She had the same blue eyes and brown hair she’d always had. Her figure was trim and shapely. But the bright smile he liked so much was missing as she stared at him from sad eyes. What did he want from her? Instant denial of any separation? Some argument to convince him they belonged together? She wasn’t giving him that. Maybe he wanted some acknowledgment that what he was asking for wasn’t so off base. He’d made it clear from the beginning that he didn’t see children in the picture.

  “I don’t want to. It’ll change everything.”

  “The pregnancy has already changed everything,” he said.

  Tears spilled from her eyes, but he could tell she was trying to hold them back. One thing he could always say about Annalise: she never tried tricks to get her own way. He felt like the worst kind of heel. Yet he couldn’t reconcile himself to the idea of becoming a father.

  “Think about it. I’ll see you if you decide to come home,” he said, and turned to hurry to his car. He backed out of the driveway, noting the large trees that lined the street. “Leaves everywhere,” he muttered, as he looked at the piles lining the sidewalks where diligent neighbors had raked them. “More work. Doesn’t she see that? Owning a house ties a person down. I need to be free.”

  He drove home on autopilot. He could only think how Annalise had changed and he hadn’t. Was that the problem? Was there something wrong with him that he couldn’t see the wonder of having a baby? That he couldn’t enthusiastically embrace owning a home? Was there something lacking in him? The something that made her so eager to expand their family and change their living arrangements, alter their entire lives?

  Though in honesty he had to admit that initially she’d seemed as shocked as he to learn she was pregnant. She had reconciled herself to the fact faster. Now she seemed to welcome a baby into their lives, was willing to make monumental changes with enthusiasm. He wished he knew her secret.

  Phyllis had not wanted to stay married to him once their reason for joining up in the first place had gone. Maybe there was a lack in him that women saw and he didn’t. Things were spinning out of control. He had to hold on to his own dreams. If he was no longer enough for his wife as he was, what could he offer her?

  Dominic let himself into the flat a short time later. He walked slowly into the living room. Stopping in the archway, he looked at the furniture they’d selected together. He remembered each shopping trip. They’d started with the console table and built from there. The sofa had been next. Then the coffee table. It had taken them months to find one they both agreed upon. He remembered the celebratory dinner they’d shared when they brought it home.

  Piece by piece, he studied it, remembering. Even the flat itself held memories of their excitement the day they’d signed the papers. They’d come back after getting the key and made love in the bedroom, right on the floor.

  Now she not only wanted to move, she wanted to change every stick of furniture. Virtually erase the past and start fresh with an entirely different style. Maybe it was time to end their marriage. For each to go their chosen way. The thought almost brought him to his knees.

  Annalise watched in disbelief as the car drove off. She felt hollow inside. How dared Dominic just walk off and not fight for their marriage? Dozens of arguments sprang into her mind. She was not going peaceably away. If he thought they were over, he had another think coming.

  Returning to the dining room, she cleaned up their meal by rote, tossing the trash out and putting the remnants of their sandwiches in the fridge. Dominic drove her crazy. It wasn’t she who wanted to separate. She was trying to adapt to the new circumstances. Was that so wrong? In a normal progression couples married, lived together for a while, then had children. Then the children would grow up and move out, and they’d be back to being a couple again.

  It wasn’t the horror story Dominic seemed to think it was. But without knowing more details about his first marriage she was hard-pressed to know how to counter his arguments. What two teenagers had faced was vastly different from a mature, successful married couple. Only, she suspected he was viewing the circumstances from those teenage eyes. And reacting to those circumstances—not the actual ones they faced.

  If she’d thought she was angry before, she’d been fooling herself. She was so mad now she could spit nails. How dare he?

  She flipped open her phone and called Lianne.

  “Where are you?” she asked when her twin answered.

  “Somewhere on I-95 between Richmond and Washington. Do you want me to ask Tray exactly where? He’s driving.”

  “No. You’ll be home in a couple of hours, right?”

  “Probably about that.”

  “Come see me, will you? I’m at the house.”

  “What’s up?”

  “Dominic suggested a trial separation.”

  Annalise heard the hiss of surprise. “You’re kidding,” Lianne said.

  “No. He hated the house—thinks I’ve gone off the deep end. And instead of trying to work with me, he just walked away.” She took a breath. “I’m so angry I don’t know what to do. Any suggestions? I’m afraid to call him up right now to let off steam. I might say something I’d later regret—but at the moment, I can’t think of anything that I could say that I would regret. Damn him! It’s not like I planned this baby—or had one with another man!”

  “Whoa—I’ll be there as soon as I can. Do you have your car?” Lianne asked.

  “Yes.”

  “I’ll have Tray drop me, and you can bring me home later,” Lianne suggested.

  “Okay, thanks. Tell him I owe him one.”

  “Give me the directions again. He says we’ll be there in less than two hours.”

  Annalise paced around the room as she told her sister how to get to the house. Then she tossed the phone on the kitchen counter and went to work. She had to do something to expend her energy or explode.

  She was too churned up over Dominic’s comments to do more than hear his words echo again and again. Nothing had gone right between them for weeks. Was she a fool to think he’d come around? How could he not want a son or daughter? Their life was nothing like he described life in his hometown. She had thought she didn’t want children, but now she was growing more and more excited about the prospect of having a baby. Of being a mother. What was wrong with Dominic?

  “Annalise?” Lianne called.

  “In the kitchen,” Annalise called back, wiping her hands and heading for the front of the house.

  Lianne waved to her husband, and Annalise heard the car drive away before her twin shut the front door.

  “You should lock the door if you’re here alone,” Lianne said, slipping out of her jacket.

  “It’s a safe neighborhood. Thanks for coming.”

  Lianne glanced around and wrinkled her nose. “Cleaning didn’t improve it much.”

  “Don’t you start. Dominic thinks it a dump.”

  “He’s got a point.”

  Annalise glared at Lianne, who simply shrugged and passed her sister on her way to the kitchen to put the tea kettle on.

  “I assume you have an assortment of tea?” her sister said.

  “Yes.” Both twins loved tea—different kinds for different moods.

  Once the water had boiled, Lianne prepared tea and poured them each a large mug full of chamomile.

  “Any place to sit around here?”

  “In the dining room, or on the bed upstairs.”

  “Dining room it is.” Lianne led the way, and once they were both seated, she studied her sister for a moment. “For someone whose husband just left her, you seem remarkably cool about it.”

  “You should have been here two hours ago. I think smoke was coming out of my ears. He didn’t leave, exactly. Just suggested a trial separation. Then said if I decided to come home, he’d be there. Like it’s my decision.”

  “And are you okay with that?”

  “Of course not! Nothing is going right. Becoming pregnant was just as much a s
urprise to me as to him. But I’m getting used to the idea. I can’t imagine not having this baby now. But he doesn’t seem to make any effort to see anything positive. And instead of talking things through, or making an effort, it’s as if he’s washing his hands of me and the baby.”

  “And he didn’t like the house, I take it?”

  “Says it reminds him of his childhood home—which I’ve recently found out he hated. Now that the truth is coming out, I realize how much he glossed over his past and how I let him. Now I want every detail. Only, he’s thinking of ending our marriage. The jerk.”

  “And what do you want, sis?”

  “I want this baby and my husband.”

  “So the giving him time part doesn’t seem to be working—at least not in the short haul. He’s still adamant?” Lianne asked, sipping her tea.

  “He’s horrified I bought the house. But this is the perfect family home. I want it fixed up so it’s warm and welcoming and full of love and laughter. A place we’ll live in for decades, like Grandma Carrie’s home. I want family parties here. You know our flat is hardly big enough for the entire family. We never can sit down to dinner together there. It’s always buffet-style.”

  “Face it, the only place anywhere near big enough for all of us at once is at the sea cottage. Once the rest of the family marries and maybe has a few kids there’s not going to be a house large enough to seat us all at one time. I picture big barbecues at the beach on the sand.”

  “Or in our backyard. It’s huge.”

  “Umm…” Lianne said.

  “I have these pictures in my mind. Of me and Dominic sitting on the grass as a little kid learns to walk. Doesn’t that sound as if everything is going to come out right? The backyard will be a perfect place for children to run around once it’s tamed.”

  “And what does Dominic want?” Lianne asked.

  “He wants nothing to change. I feel as if he’s seeing his first wife when he looks at me. That he feels trapped by the mere thought of my pregnancy. But nothing is like it was when he was eighteen. Why can’t he see that?”

  Lianne shrugged.

  “I probably would never have learned of his first marriage if I hadn’t become pregnant. But history is not repeating itself like he thinks it is. Between that and his father, no wonder he doesn’t want kids. But he sees other families—how can he think his experiences are the only way to be a family?”

  “Because he can’t truly relate?” Lianne offered.

  Annalise tilted her head slightly while she brought up the memories she had of her father-in-law. They rarely visited him. “I never saw the house Dominic lived in when his mother was alive. I know Dominic doesn’t like spending time with his father. Steve is a grumpy old man who is never satisfied with anything. I never really thought about growing up with someone like that before. I guess it could warp a person.”

  “But once that person is an adult, he no longer needs to play those childhood tapes over and over. People move beyond hardship in youth,” Lianne said.

  “So what do I do now? There is a baby on the way. I can’t change that even if I wanted to, and I don’t. I love this baby already.”

  “And you want this house,” Lianne added, glancing around. “Though how you can see the potential is beyond me.”

  “Come back in a few months. You’ll sing a different tune. Sean even has someone lined up to help me. If I can manage it financially.” Annalise explained, and Lianne burst out laughing when she told her about Sean’s new woman-friend.

  “It can’t be serious,” she said, her eyes dancing in amusement.

  “Probably not—when is Sean ever serious? But if the guy can help me, that’s all I care about.”

  “Forget the house. Concentrate on your husband.”

  “But what about me and what I want? It can’t be all about what Dominic wants. What kind of marriage is that?” Though she missed him already. Or was it his support she longed for? Something to validate the choices she was making now? Where was the feeling she’d had of being one of a strongly bonded couple? She felt adrift. How often did trial separations end in reconciliation?

  “Then you need to think about what kind of marriage you have. And where you want it to go.”

  “Not much of one if the first hiccup in the road of life has him suggesting a separation.” She thought a moment. “We’ve had a wonderful five years—full and fulfilling. Lots of friends. We travel more than anyone I know.”

  “But how close are you two? I know you have a great life together, but where’s the intimacy if he keeps major things in his past a secret?”

  Annalise nodded, feeling hurt again at Dominic’s revelation.

  “You know, Lianne, the more I think about it, the more I think we had a fair-weather marriage. We both love entertaining. I like nice clothes, and I think he likes me looking nice when we go out. He’s gorgeous, and I love being seen with him. But you’re the one I go to with problems. What does that tell you about our relationship?”

  “I know how he looks at you—as if he can’t wait to get the two of you alone.”

  “There’s never been a problem there,” Annalise said pensively. “But is that enough for a strong marriage?”

  “Who knows? But you have a history together, a basis to build upon. You have similar interests, similar passions. Find a way to reconnect. He’s an only child from an unhappy marriage. Then he himself had an unhappy experience with marriage. Granted, he’s been thrown in the midst of our family since day one, but at the end of the commotion and chaos you and he return to that ultra-serene flat and the tranquility that’s there. No kids crying, no toys strewn everywhere. That’s what he likes. And this expected baby threatens to change everything—from a couple to a threesome, and from a luxury apartment to a house that looks horrible right now. I’d be nervous about the entire situation myself,” Lianne said.

  “So what do you suggest?” Annalise asked.

  “Make a fuss over him. I’m trying to keep Tray happy and not feeling second place to the baby, though you know how much I want this child.

  But I want Tray as my husband as much—if not more. I never thought I’d fall so deeply in love, but I have and it’s wonderful.”

  “Sounds as if I’d be acting with an ulterior motive—butter him up to get my way,” Annalise said. She looked at her sister. “I asked him if he loved me. He never answered.”

  “Men aren’t as open with their feelings. You know that.”

  “A simple Yes, I love you would work,” Annalise said. “What if he doesn’t love me?”

  “Then it’s time you found that out,” her sister said candidly. “You need to come to an agreement as a couple on how you’ll face the future. Especially if he’s to come around about the baby.” Lianne looked around the room and made a face. “But I’m not sure he’ll come around about the house.”

  Annalise took offense. “It’s going to be a showplace when it’s renovated.”

  “You keep seeing this place when it’s all renovated. The rest of us see it as it is today, and it’s a dump. And if he lived in poverty as a kid, this probably brings flashbacks which he doesn’t want or need. When I suggested you go ahead with a home, I had no idea it would take so much work.”

  “Okay, I’ll grant that maybe everyone doesn’t have my vision. But, trust me, this is going to be wonderful. The perfect family home.”

  “If you say so,” Lianne replied dubiously

  The two sisters spent the remainder of the afternoon cleaning the upstairs bedrooms and discussing ways for Annalise to recapture Dominic’s devotion. The talk segued into about how they felt being pregnant and what to name their babies. Not surprisingly, they both wanted the same name if their babies were girls—Caroline, in honor of their grandmother Carrie.

  “So first girl born gets it?” Annalise said.

  “When are you due?” Lianne asked suspiciously.

  “Early June.”

  Lianne looked at her. “This is so weird. I’m due
the first week of June. I can’t believe we got pregnant at the same time.”

  “Twins,” Annalise said, and they both laughed.

  By the time Lianne had to leave for home, the cleaning was complete. Now the renovations could begin.

  After dropping Lianne at her apartment, Annalise called the number for Randall Hawthorne. He answered after three rings, and knew instantly who she was when she identified herself.

  “My brother Sean said you might be available to help me renovate an old house,” she said.

  “My hours at the construction site have been cut due to the weather, so I have several days a week free. When do you need me?”

  “I’m arranging my time so I can work on the house Friday, Saturday and Sunday. I figured working a block of days at a time would be better than spreading things out over the week.”

  “Sounds like a plan. I can do that.”

  They discussed what she could pay, what she wanted done.

  “How about I come over now and check out the place, give you my suggestions on what to start first?” he offered.

  “That would be great. The sooner the better. I don’t have lights in all the rooms, so you need to see them before dark.”

  In less than half an hour Randall Hawthorne knocked on the door.

  Annalise opened it, surprised at the young man standing there. He was as tall as Dominic, with sandy blond hair and an engaging grin. He was muscular from his work, and wore faded blue jeans and a ski jacket over his shirt.

  “Randy Hawthorne, at your service,” he said with an easy smile.

  “I’m Annalise Fulton. Come in.”

  “Great old place. Man, this could really be cool when it’s fixed up,” he said as he gazed around the foyer and then into the living room. Stepping inside, he wandered around, running his hands lightly over the mantel, gazing out the window over the front porch. “But it’s going to take a lot of work.”