Envious

by Cheryl Douglas

  Dare she tell him the truth? How could she not? He deserved to know how much his support meant to her. “I was just thinking about how nice it is to have you in my life.” She smiled as she realized she should have told him a long time ago how much she appreciated him. “I understand why Lee counts you among his closest friends. You’ve always been there for him and for us. Most people these days are too caught up in their own lives to give much thought to what’s happening with other people, but you’re not like that. You’re different. Selfless.”

  Chris chuckled. “Before you nominate me for sainthood, you should ask whether I have ulterior motives.”

  Although he was smiling, something in the way he looked at her told Katie he was serious. “What do you mean?”

  “I love Lee like a brother, but it was painfully obvious that you guys have just been going through the motions for a long time. Probably since day one.”

  Katie smoothed the white linen napkin in her lap, trying to ignore a stab of pain. Chris was right. She’d spent the last five years with a man she wasn’t in love with because she was afraid to face her demons alone. What did that say about her?

  “I’m not judging either one of you,” Chris said softly. “No one wants to be alone. Sometimes just having someone to hold in the middle of the night is reason enough to stay married.”

  “Do you ever miss being married?” Katie was still getting used to the idea, but she knew when reality set in, she would miss having someone to talk to at the end of the day or share a meal with once in a while. She and Hannah were essentially alone, and she had to figure out how to survive as a single parent.

  “Sure, sometimes.” Chris grinned. “I can’t deny there are things I don’t miss about it, though.”

  “Such as?”

  “Courtney used to call me at five o’clock every night to make sure I was on my way home. She didn’t get the fact that I couldn’t keep banker’s hours. She hated that I had to travel so much. It’s kind of nice to be able to work late or hop on a plane without arguing with anyone about it. But…”

  “But?”

  “It was kind of nice to have someone who cared too.” He set his napkin on the table. “I miss that.”

  “Yeah, it’s nice to have someone in your life who cares.” Katie had lived most of her life feeling as though her sister was the only person who cared whether she’d live to fight another day. That had changed when her mother started battling her alcoholism, and Katie was grateful to have her mother back in her life, but it wasn’t the same as having a partner who thought she was the most important person in his world. She’d never had that. Not even with Lee.

  “I care about you,” he whispered, leaning forward as he braced his elbows on the table. “I hope you know that.”

  Something told her Chris did care about her, perhaps in a way no one else ever had. It was exhilarating and unnerving. “I do. I feel the same way about you.” She hadn’t intended to admit her feelings for him, but it was likely written all over her face.

  “Katie, I—”

  “Oh, look at the time,” she said, glancing at her watch. She didn’t know what he was going to say, but whatever it was, she didn’t think she was ready to hear it. She’d already failed at love once. The thought of trying again with a man she couldn’t stand to lose was too risky. “I’m sure Lee brought Hannah home hours ago. We should probably get going.”

  Chris looked as though there was so much more he wanted to say, but he stood. “Can you stop by my office tomorrow? I’d like to review that business plan with you.”

  She wanted to ask why they couldn’t do it tomorrow night at her home after Hannah went to sleep. Given the tingle dancing up her spine when he stood over her, offering his hand, she decided his office would be a much safer option. “I’ll ask my mother or Cassidy if they would mind watching Hannah for a couple of hours tomorrow afternoon, if that works for you?”

  “I’ll make it work. Just text me the time.”

  Chapter Seven

  Chris stared at the TV screen, barely seeing the picture. His mind was somewhere else—in the bed across the street. He was falling for her, harder and deeper every day, even though it was too soon for him to feel anything for the woman still married to the man sleeping in his guest room. He and Lee went back too far to ever let a woman come between them, but Katie wasn’t just any woman. She was the mother of Lee’s daughter, and if Chris was being honest, he would admit she was the one he could imagine as the stepmother of his own child.

  Lee rounded the corner into the family room. “Hey, did I leave my phone down here?”

  Chris had been so caught up in his thoughts he hadn’t even heard Lee come down. He glanced at the end tables on either side of him. “I think you left it on the kitchen table.”

  “Thanks, I’ll check there.” But instead of going in search of his phone, Lee sat on the chair next to Chris’s sofa. Chris refused to tear his eyes away from the screen. He didn’t want to invite conversation when he was trying to work through the chaos in his head. “You never said; how’d it go with Katie tonight?”

  “We checked out the unit, but we also spotted another place that looks interesting. Tomorrow we’ll plug the numbers into the spreadsheet I created and see where we end up.”

  “So you’re seeing Katie again tomorrow?”

  Chris faced Lee when he heard the edge in his friend’s voice. “Yeah, you got a problem with that? I thought you wanted me to help Katie with this business.”

  “I do, I’m just…”

  “You’re just what?” If Lee asked Chris to back off, he didn’t know how he’d handle it. The last thing he wanted was to cause Katie or Lee anymore pain, but walking away from her was unthinkable.

  “Worried about her. She wasn’t herself when she got home tonight. I got the feeling something happened between you guys, but she wasn’t willing to talk to me about it.”

  Was she having the same feelings he was struggling with? Chris could only hope. “You can’t be surprised you’re not the person she’d want to confide in. You just told her you want out of your marriage. She’s still reeling from that.”

  Lee stared at the large flat screen. “I don’t think what was going on with her tonight had anything to do with me.”

  “She’s having some reservations about the business. She’s not sure she can handle it.” Chris wished Katie had as much confidence in herself as he had in her. There was no doubt in his mind she would not only make the business work, but discover who she was in the process.

  “Are you sure there isn’t more to it than that?” Lee braced his elbows on his knees. “I’m not saying that’s not reason enough, but I just got the sense there was more.”

  “I don’t know. If there is, she didn’t talk to me about it.” Chris had wanted to say so much more before she cut him off, but he knew she wasn’t ready to acknowledge what was happening between them. He didn’t want to push.

  “Will you do me a favor?” Lee asked.

  Chris nodded, knowing whatever it was, he would do his best. “Sure, what is it?”

  “Just be there for her. She needs a friend right now, and she trusts you. Recovering addicts often have a hard time expressing themselves. We’re used to using drugs or booze to mask our pain. I want Katie to feel she has an outlet, so she won’t be tempted to go back there again.”

  Chris didn’t want to discount Lee’s fears, but knowing how much Katie loved her little girl, it was difficult for him to imagine her doing anything to jeopardize Hannah’s happiness. “If she needs someone to talk to, I’m there. You don’t have to worry about that.”

  “Good,” Lee said, lacing his hands. “I’m glad to hear that. She has people in NA she can talk to and friends outside of the group, but you and she have always had this…” He lifted his head to look his friend in the eye. “Connection. You and Katie have always had this connection.”

  Chris didn’t know if it was an observation or accusation, but he felt uneasy. He’d never on
ce stepped out of line while he and Katie were committed to other people. He’d always respected the boundaries, even though there was a time or two when he’d observed the widening rift between Katie and Lee that he let his mind wander and played the what if game.

  Lee said, “I didn’t know what the hell to make of it at first. I don’t think Courtney did either.”

  Surely they weren’t going to go there. “Lee, your wife is a beautiful woman, but you have to know I’ve never made a move on her. I have way too much respect for you to do anything like that.”

  “I know.” Lee appeared to be struggling to choose his next words. “You’re a stand-up guy. I know that.”

  Chris was surprised when Lee stood up to leave the room. Chris felt as though he was leaving before he said what he’d come in to say. He should have prompted Lee to finish his thought, but he took the coward’s way out.

  “I’ll see you in the morning,” Lee said, hesitating in the doorway as he looked at Chris over his shoulder.

  “Yeah, sure, g’night.”

  ***

  Katie walked into her sister’s house feeling apprehensive about her meeting with Chris at his office. Could she really let him sink that kind of money into a business that could fail within the first year? She knew the stats. Failure was a real possibility. Given her history, it seemed not only possible but probable.

  Cassidy’s housekeeper, Dora, met them at the door and offered to take Hannah out to the pool so she could swim with her grandmother and cousin before lunch. She said Cassidy was in the study and had asked to see Katie before she left. Katie wandered down the hall, admiring the homey touches her sister had added to the opulent mansion since she moved in several years ago. It felt like a real home instead of a testament to her brother-in-law’s success as a music producer.

  Cassidy looked up from the desk and smiled when Katie paused in the open doorway. “Hey, I was just paying some bills. Come in.”

  “Don’t you have people to do that for you now?” Katie teased. Her sister resented people thinking she’d allowed wealth to change her. She was still the same sweet girl she’d been when they were growing up. She was the first one to offer her last dollar to a homeless person or take off her hat if she saw a child who looked cold. Katie couldn’t have been more proud of Cassidy’s selflessness.

  “Shut up and sit down,” Cassidy said, grinning and pointing to the seat across from her. Katie did as she was told but not before sticking out her tongue at her big sister. When they got together, they often reverted back to little girls who enjoyed stealing each other’s Barbie dolls. Cassidy rolled her eyes. “Real mature, sis. You want a drink or anything?”

  “No, I’m good, thanks.” Katie looked at her watch. “I don’t have a lot of time. I have to be at Chris’s office in forty-five minutes.”

  “I have a bone to pick with you,” Cassidy said, pointing at Katie. “Why didn’t you call me the second Lee told you he was leaving? I had to hear about it from my husband.”

  Katie sighed. She knew Cassidy would give her hell for holding out on her, but she hadn’t wanted to burden her sister. Cassidy worried about her too much. “I’m sorry, it didn’t seem like something I should do over the phone.”

  Cassidy looked skeptical. “You know where I live. Why didn’t you stop by?”

  “The truth is, things have been a little hectic since Lee broke the news.” Katie knew it may be a little premature to talk about her partnership with Chris, but she could use some advice. “Just after you left the other night, Chris stopped by to tell me Lee would be coming home late. He saw I was working on schoolwork, and I ended up telling him about my courses.”

  “What did he say?”

  “He was excited. In fact, he offered to invest in my business for an equity stake.” The last thing Katie wanted was for her sister to think she was taking advantage of Chris’s generosity instead of Cassidy’s.

  “Is that so?” Cassidy took a moment to process the news. “Did you accept his offer?”

  “Nothing’s been finalized yet. That’s why I’m going to see him today, so we can discuss his business plan and figure out whether it’s even viable.” Katie wasn’t sure if Cassidy seemed hurt because she’d kept her out of the loop or because Katie hadn’t accepted her help.

  “So you were willing to accept his help but not mine? I know we’ve had our ups and downs over the years, but I thought we’d moved past that.”

  “We have.” Katie squeezed her sister’s hand. The last thing she wanted was to create a rift between them when they’d worked so hard to repair their damaged relationship and broken trust. “It’s just that Chris made the offer, and I… well, I need a lot more than just money to make this work. I need someone with experience building a successful business.” She smiled, hoping it would take the sting out of her words. “’Cause you know I’m totally clueless when it comes to stuff like that.”

  “How does Lee feel about you going into business with his best friend?”

  “He’s been supportive.” Katie still couldn’t figure out why he seemed so eager for her to work with Chris, but she wasn’t going to argue with him. Divorces and child custody cases could quickly take a turn for the worse, but she was holding on to the belief that she and Lee could be the exception, not the rule.

  “I’m glad to hear that. I like Chris a lot, you know that, but the last thing you need is a reason to fight with Lee right now.”

  “I know, you’re right. If Lee wasn’t on board, I might consider backing out, but since he seems to be, that’s not the issue.”

  “But there is an issue,” Cassidy said hesitantly. “I can tell. What is it?”

  “I’m scared.” Katie blew out a breath, wondering if the butterflies in her stomach would ever stop. “What if I mess this up and lose all of Chris’s money or make a fool of myself or—”

  Cassidy cut her off. “Chris didn’t get to be so successful by making stupid decisions. If he offered to partner with you, it’s because he believes you have what it takes to make this work. For the record, I happen to agree with him.”

  Katie smiled. Her sister always knew what to say to make her feel better. “Thank you. You don’t know how much that means to me.”

  “Believe me, I do.” Cassidy got a faraway look in her eye, as though her mind was somewhere else. “Drake was the first person who’d ever really believed in me, and let me tell you, that changed my life. The fact that someone like him saw something in me made me realize that maybe I’m more than I ever gave myself credit for.” Katie stared at her sister, blinking back tears. Cassidy had come so far, thanks to her husband’s love and support and her fierce determination to create a better life for herself. “Jesus, we were really messed up, weren’t we?” Cassidy laughed through her own tears. “I can’t speak for you, but my self-esteem was so low...”

  Katie didn’t want to tell Cassidy she still wondered whether she would ever accomplish anything to make her daughter proud. She knew getting off drugs was an accomplishment, and she believed she was a good mother, but she wanted more. She wanted to make a difference. “Yeah, I know what you mean.”

  “But look at us now,” Cassidy said. “We’re all grown up with beautiful daughters. I have a great husband. You’re on the verge of getting your degree and starting a new business. Who would’ve thought we’d get here?”

  When Cassidy put it that way, Katie had to admit she had come a long way from the girl who would do anything, including steal from her sister, to get her next fix. If she could get off drugs, maybe, just maybe, she could build a successful business—with Chris’s help, of course. “I’m glad I came. I really needed a pep talk. I’ve been so nervous about this meeting with Chris.”

  “Why?”

  “Because it feels like D-day, that’s why.”

  “D-day?” Cassidy asked, looking amused.

  “Decision day. We can’t continue to waste time on this idea if we’re not going to move forward with it.”

  “What’s yo
ur gut telling you to do?” Cassidy picked up a black lacquer pen and slid it between her fingers. “Does it feel right?”

  “I don’t know.” Katie thought about how she’d felt when she stepped into the newly renovated building last night. If she had to describe the feeling, she would say she sensed she belonged there. But she couldn’t base business decisions on emotions instead of hard facts and numbers. “Chris and I went to see these two places last night and went to dinner afterward. I have to admit—”

  “Hold up a minute,” Cassidy said, letting the pen fall to the desk. “Did you say you and Chris went out for dinner together last night? Just the two of you?” Katie nodded, realizing a moment too late she should have kept her mouth shut. The last thing she needed was her sister and brother-in-law speculating about her relationship with Lee’s best friend. “Why am I just hearing about this now?”

  “It was a business dinner. Lee knew all about it.” Not that Lee had a right to voice his opinion, Katie reminded herself. He was the one who’d moved out.

  “A business dinner, hmmm.” Cassidy tried to wipe the smug smile off her face. “Are you sure that’s all it was? I’ve always had the feeling Chris might like you.”

  “Don’t be ridiculous,” Katie said, trying to suppress the little flutter in her stomach. That time, it had nothing to do with nerves and everything to do with the possibility that Chris might be interested in her. “Chris could have his pick of women.”

  “Why is it so hard to imagine he’d pick you?” Cassidy asked gently. “You’re an amazing woman. I know it hasn’t been easy for you to learn to believe in yourself. It wasn’t a walk in the park for me either, but I got there, in no small part because of Drake’s faith in me. Maybe Chris could help you rebuild your life the same way Drake helped me.”

  Drake and her sister were soul mates. Katie didn’t actually believe any man could feel that way about her. Her relationship with Lee had been her first healthy relationship with a man. Lee was the first guy she’d ever been with who didn’t want to use her. But she wasn’t foolish enough to believe she was a princess just waiting for her prince. Life didn’t work that way. At least, her life didn’t. Katie stood before she settled her purse strap on her shoulder. “That’s a sweet sentiment, but I think it’s time to take off the rose-colored glasses, sis. I’m not Cinderella. I’m not expecting some man to show up at my door and whisk me away from all my troubles.”