Perfectly Toxic

by Kristine Mason

  “You mentioned to Gillian that Dolly saved Cash. What branch of the service did he serve in?”

  “The Army. He was an explosive ordnance disposal specialist.”

  “So how’d you go about adopting this family?”

  “Diana and I ended up talking for a long time. She did most of the talking. I think she just needed to vent to a stranger. Her husband had a long road ahead of him, and was having a difficult time adjusting to not only being back home, but accepting the loss of his legs. The government was taking care of his pay and housing, but money was still tight. Diana couldn’t get a job because paying for daycare would eat up her salary, and her husband was in no position to take care of the kids. After I told her about Cash and Dolly, we exchanged phone numbers. Later that night, I talked to Cash about her.” She smiled. “He was ready to give that family whatever they needed. So, between him and me, and the boys at the garage, we started paying for daycare so Diana could go to work.”

  “If you met her seven years ago, aren’t their kids in school full-time?” Lola asked.

  “They are. But Diana became a single mom about five years ago. Her husband overdosed on painkillers. I know it’s not easy for her to raise those kids on her own. I can’t afford to send a whole lot, but I’m sure she appreciates every cent.”

  Lola set her elbow on the table, rested her chin in her hand and stared at her. “I don’t know what to do with you. You have to be one of the hardest people to understand, one of the strangest, too.”

  Mel took a drink, then regretted it. The beer had gone warm and flat. She also now regretted telling Lola about Diana. “I’ve been told worse.”

  “Don’t be offended. I wasn’t insulting you. I mean, look at you. You’re this fluffy girly-girl who always has her nails done, always looks gorgeous, always has men turning their heads. You’re sweet and mean. You’re compassionate, and yet you didn’t even blink when you disposed of two dead bodies. How do you do that?”

  “I need a fresh beer. Want one?”

  “Yes, but I still want to know.”

  Mel pushed back the chair, then stood. “How did you handle cleaning brains off the floor?” she asked, bringing up the night that had started ATL.

  “Once I was back at Ryan’s, I cried, then had sex with him.”

  “You weren’t cryin’ for the dead men, though,” Mel said, as she pulled two beers from the cooler.

  “No. I think the whole situation had finally caught up with me. That was a growing period for me.”

  Mel set the beers on the table and thought back to that night. Although her main focus had been making sure Ryan hadn’t been hurt, she’d had the wherewithal to make a mental note of each person in the room. Lola had immediately caught her attention. The haunted look in her eyes could have been mistaken for anger, but Mel had seen that same look in her daddy’s eyes when he went deep inside his head and couldn’t tell the difference between what was real, and the men he’d fought during the war. What Lola had experienced had been more than real. Because of how she’d handled herself that night, Lola had earned Mel’s respect.

  “Not the best way to grow, but there could be worse things.” Mel twisted the bottle open, and took a seat. “As for me, it wasn’t as if I didn’t feel anything when I was rolling those bodies off my daddy’s dock. I had. I felt relief. Those men couldn’t hurt anyone else, and Ryan was fine.” She took a sip of the beer. “You have to understand how I was raised. I didn’t go to the grocery store for my meat. I hunted for it. Killing an animal for food is natural to me. Dumping a body isn’t, but I have more respect for the animals who gave their lives so my family and I wouldn’t starve, than for men who have no regard for human life. Those men weren’t worth thinking about or feeling any guilt for. After hearing what they’d done to all of you, I was glad I could help.” She shrugged. “I don’t think that makes me strange.”

  Lola gave her a small apologetic smile. “I’m sorry. Strange wasn’t the right word. Interesting and admirable are, though. I think it’s amazing that you can rationalize a situation to the point where your logic can clear your emotions.”

  Mel chuckled as she pictured Cash’s reaction to what Lola had just said. “Don’t go admiring me. When it comes to certain things, I’ve been known to be highly emotional and irrational.”

  “Like Cash?”

  Dang, back to him again. “Yep, like Cash. He’s promised to quit the repo business, and it’s why I’m moving back, otherwise I’d be filing for a divorce I don’t want. But Cash went from bomb disposal to repoing. He’s spent his life placing himself in dangerous situations. I’m wondering how he’s going to replace the rush.”

  “You’re worried he’s going to break his promise.”

  “Cash has always been a man of his word. I’m worried he’s going to resent me for forcing him to keep his promise.”

  Understanding softened Lola’s eyes. “I hope that doesn’t happen. I don’t want to lose you, and I’ll miss seeing you every day at the boat shop, but I want you happy. If things between you two don’t work out, you know you’ll always have a place with ATL, and a job at the shop.” She cleared her throat and reached for Mel’s hand. “And a friend if you need to talk.”

  Sweet Baby Jesus, this was weird, but in a good way. “Thanks. I’m going to miss working with all of you, but it’s not like I’m moving that far away. I think one of the hardest things is going to be leaving Daddy again.”

  Harrison walked toward them. Cash and Vlad followed behind, having what she hoped was a friendly argument.

  “If your dad needs anything, you know any one of us would help,” Lola said. “We’d have to meet him first.”

  “Barney, Ryan and Shane know Daddy, they can check up on him for me.”

  “Yeah, but what if I’d like to meet him?”

  “Meet who?” Harrison asked as he reached into the cooler and pulled out a water bottle.

  “Mel’s dad.”

  “Vlad have curiosity for Daddy.”

  “I haven’t met Mel’s daddy, either. I’m not even convinced he exists,” Cash said as he walked over and planted a kiss on her head. “I’m thinking Mel’s an angel sent from heaven.”

  Harrison shook his head. “Do you really like it when he says stuff like that?”

  Mel grinned. “Love it. Give him another one, baby.”

  Cash rested his hands on her shoulders. “Wanna know why I have so many pictures of Mel on my cell phone?”

  Harrison rolled his eyes. “Gee, Cash, why is that?”

  “So that I have proof that angels do exist.”

  “That’s awful,” Harrison groaned.

  “I think it’s sweet,” Mel said, laying her palms over his hands.

  “Hey, Vlad,” Cash began, “can I borrow your cell phone?”

  “Vlad have no phone.” The Russian frowned at Harrison. “Harry took away from Vlad.”

  “Here, use mine,” Lola said, offering the phone.

  Knowing the goofy line Cash was going to lay on them, Mel chuckled. “I think you lost them, honey.” She patted his hand.

  “Yeah, I do, too.”

  Lola held onto her phone. “I’ll bite, what’s the line.”

  “The moment’s over,” Cash said with a sigh, then he leaned down, pressed his mouth to Mel’s ear, and whispered, “I need to call animal control because I just saw a fox.”

  Cash blew against Mel’s ear, smiling when goose bumps rose along her skin. She giggled—Melanie Scarlet Maddox actually giggled. Next to her crying out his name as he gave her pleasure, Cash had never heard a prettier sound. Now that they’d reconciled their differences, he hoped to hear more.

  “Now Vlad know.”

  Mel rubbed her hands along her arms and looked up at the Russian. “What’s that?”

  “The man who can melt Ice Cream Lady,” he said with a grin.

  The sweetest, shyest smile curved her lips. “You really are a big goof.”

  Vlad beamed, then looked to Lola. “Vlad t
ired. Asian Lola take Vlad to hotel.”

  “He just wants to call Barney and check up on his gator,” Harrison said. “But I’m tired, too. I wouldn’t mind going back and falling asleep to the TV.” He glared at Vlad. “Something I don’t get to do in my own house because someone is always complaining about it.”

  “Vlad feel this bad habit for Harry.”

  “Right. It’s way worse than smoking.”

  Vlad pulled out a pack of cigarettes.

  “Don’t bother,” Lola said as she stood. “And I don’t want to listen to you two argue during the drive to the hotel. I’ve had enough of it.” She looked to Mel. “You’re good with me taking your car?”

  “I trust you,” Mel responded, and Cash swore the look exchanged between the two women solidified some sort of secret pact.

  “I’m glad. I really love driving your Camaro.”

  “It is bitching,” Vlad added.

  “On that note…” Harrison said, then opened the patio door.

  He and Mel followed their guests to the front door. Once they’d left, and Mel shut the door, he was tempted to pull her into his arms. They hadn’t had the chance to talk after they’d returned from the homeless shelter. He’d wanted to, but the others had decided to stay rather than go back to their hotel rooms. While he had entertained them, and prepared chicken to cook on the grill, Mel had hidden herself in the bathroom for a long shower.

  “It’s still early, are you ready for bed, too?” he asked as he helped her clean up the patio table.

  “No, I wouldn’t mind watching TV.”

  Sounded fine to him. After having a good meal, a couple of beers and a little fun in the backyard with Vlad and Harrison, he wouldn’t mind doing something that didn’t require much thought. “Lemme get Dolly settled for the night.” He headed for where their dog lay on her patio bed. When he lifted her, he looked at the purple collar Mel had made for her. “You’re looking awfully pretty tonight. Your mama knows how to dress you up,” he said, setting her on her bed in the kitchen.

  “She does look pretty.” Dolly lifted her head and her eyes went alert. Mel came over, then took the dog’s head in her hands. “I’ve missed our nighttime routine,” she said, scratching Dolly behind the ear.

  He had, too. Before Mel had left, and he’d been back to his old self, they’d fallen into the habit of putting Dolly to bed as if she was their child instead of their dog. Dolly would, as she was now, eat up the attention. Give them those big, brown puppy dog eyes, nuzzle them with her nose for just one more scratch, then groan and roll on her side as if the process had exhausted her.

  “Want something to drink?” she asked, taking a water bottle from the fridge.

  “I’ll just steal some of yours.”

  She grinned and grabbed two bottles. Once they were in the family room and on the couch, he raised the remote. “So what do you want to watch?”

  “Doesn’t matter,” she said, resting her head in his lap.

  Well, hell. He wanted to throw the TV on and not think. But with Mel laying the way she was, it was hard not to think about touching her, or her touching him. She’d had a rough afternoon, though, and he wanted to show her she could lean on him. That nothing had changed, even if he had. He was still the man she could count on, still the only man she’d ever need.

  He started flipping through channels, found a few things that might interest him, but doubted Mel would want to watch. Or maybe she did. During the past two years, when they’d spent a weekend together, they hadn’t been watching TV. He searched back into his memory bank, trying to remember what she used to like to watch. A couple of the shows she had liked were no longer on the air. She had a strange liking for old sitcoms from the sixties and seventies, but he didn’t know where to find them.

  “You’re making me dizzy,” she said. “Just pick something.”

  “I’m trying. I want to find something for you.”

  She rolled onto her opposite side and looked up at him. “Do you still like to watch shows about cars and the military?”

  “Don’t forget sports. And I’ve gotten into history.”

  Her face saddened. “I feel like it’s been forever since we’ve watched TV.”

  Not forever, but two years. “It’s been a while.”

  “Sometimes I feel like I don’t know you. I mean, I know you, just not the little things.”

  “Like what I watch on TV.”

  “That and other things you might be interested in doing. I know you go to work, then usually meet the guys out after. I know you’ve been doing things around the house—I forgot to tell you I like the color you painted the guest bath.”

  “I only meet the boys once a week. Twice if we have something to celebrate.”

  “Why don’t you go out as much?” she asked.

  When she curled toward him, he turned off the TV, then set the remote on the couch. “You know all this,” he said, smoothing her hair from her face. “I’ve told you before. I don’t like going out. If you think back, nine out of ten times when we talk, I’m at home or at work. Not at a bar.” He gave her earlobe a light tug. “You didn’t believe me, did you?” He couldn’t blame her. When she’d left, he’d been so damned determined to prove he could be the man he was before the accident, he’d gone back to working hard and playing harder.

  “I’m sorry. I know you did. It’s not that I didn’t believe you, it just hard to picture you relaxing.”

  “We used to relax together all the time. Our old hammock doesn’t owe us a dime.”

  She grinned. “Those were some fun, lazy Sundays.”

  He couldn’t agree more. There’d been nothing like holding Mel while they lay in the hammock, talking, kissing, then later dozing off for a nap. “I think about those days all the time.”

  “It’s nice knowing I’m not the only one.” She touched his chest. “How come you took the hammock down? I noticed it wasn’t up the last two times I was here.”

  “Why didn’t you ask me when you first noticed?” He suspected why, but had learned over the years to never assume anything when it came to Mel. How she could ever think he could be bored with her, he didn’t know. The woman knew how to keep him on his toes.

  “I don’t know,” she said, her gaze on his chest as if his old t-shirt was fascinating. “I guess I was afraid of your answer.”

  “You didn’t think I took it down as a way to show you I was done with those days, did you?”

  “That would have been a reason I could’ve handled.” She finally looked up at him, her eyes cautionary. “I think if you told me you took the hammock down because it hurt too much to look at it, that would have hit me hard.”

  What was she talking about? “I told you how much I missed you every time I saw you or we talked.”

  “Hearing is one thing, seeing is another.”

  He took her right hand from his chest. “Kinda like you not wearing my ring or using my name.” He kissed her ring finger. “Knowing you don’t acknowledge that I’m your husband…” He drew in a deep breath hoping to keep the disappointment at bay and from his voice. They were supposed to be healing, not hurting each other. “I get why you didn’t tell anyone from home about me.”

  Her eyes filled with tears. “I told Lola about us.”

  “What’d you tell her?” he asked, worried it couldn’t have been good when she looked about to cry.

  “I told her how I ended up in Tallahassee, how you gave me a job—minus the fact that I used to steal cars—and how we bought this home together.”

  “When you have your mind set to something, you get it. I would probably still be in my old condo if it wasn’t for you.”

  “This coming from a man who grew up with nothing, and became a hero and a successful businessman.”

  He wanted to look away, yet he wanted to keep looking into her expressive eyes, eyes that don’t lie, and make sure she was telling him the truth. “I’m no one’s hero.”

  “You’re mine. You helped me get my life
on track.”

  “I gave you a job. You’re smart. You could’ve found one without my help. That doesn’t make me a hero.”

  “It’s not just the job. I’ve told you before I liked the excitement of stealing cars, but hated myself every time I did it. I was risking too much, and for what?”

  He tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. “People say money doesn’t buy happiness, but it’s nice to have some to pay the rent and buy groceries.” This, he knew all too well. If he hadn’t joined the Army, he probably would have wound up getting into all kinds of trouble. When he’d been a kid, his mom would have him shoplift for her. He could remember thinking stealing was so damned easy, why pay for what you could take?

  “I know you understand better than most people would. Still, you took a chance on swamp trash, and treated me better than I’d ever been treated. No matter what happens between us, I’m grateful for you, and for the hope you gave me.”

  “You don’t think you gave me the same? I never planned to get married. Ever. I never wanted kids and the responsibility that came with it. I didn’t want to have to worry about disappointing my wife and kids when I screwed up.”

  Her eyes widened a fraction. “You never told me this.”

  “Because when I met you, that saying, ‘Never say never,’ dropped on my head like a four hundred pound car engine. Once we started dating, I still worried about screwing up, but I figured you’d keep me on track and make sure that didn’t happen.” He ran his finger along her soft cheek. “I never had anyone love me the way you did.”

  “Do,” she said, a tear slipping down her cheek. “The way I do love you.” She rubbed her hand along his chest again. “When I was talking to Lola, I told her how you survived war and a beating that should have left you dead or paralyzed. I believe there’s a reason you survived Iraq and the accident, not to mention a childhood that would’ve landed most people in prison.”