SEPARATED: CONCLUSION TO UN-RELATED

by Schwartzmiller, Kimberly

  “Are you okay?” Justin asked, coming up behind me and handing me some napkins from his glove box.

  I was breathing hard, still feeling the awful waves of nausea roll over me, and a few seconds later, it passed. “Yeah, I’m okay. Sorry.”

  “For what, being sick?”

  “No, for making you watch that.”

  “It’s no big deal. I have five siblings, trust me, someone’s always throwing up at my house,” he grinned.

  “Thank you for being so nice. You um, you handled that much better than Kellan would have. He would have vomited right alongside me,” I smiled, realizing I felt a lot better.

  “It doesn’t bother me. Are you feeling better?”

  “Yeah, thanks. I hope you don’t get whatever it is I have.”

  He looked down at me for a minute, but didn’t say anything. He started to ask me something, but didn’t. He took me home and walked me to the door.

  “Um, see you later, Abby. I hope you feel better.”

  “I do. Thanks.”

  “Abby, um…if you need to talk, I swear I’m a good listener. No strings attached. I swear I won’t tell anyone.”

  “You won’t tell anyone what?” I asked, perplexed.

  He looked down and said, “Nothing. Maybe I’m wrong…it’s just I have two sisters, and they were both sick, too. Its okay if you don’t want to talk to me about it, I just hope you have someone that you can talk to. You don’t really seem to have any friends. Tyler’s gone and your boyfriend’s so far away, so I just thought, you know, if you want to talk, I’m here.”

  “Talk about what?” I asked, completely confused.

  “Nothing, sorry. I’m sure I’m way off base. I’ll see you tomorrow,” he said and started to walk away.

  “Justin, what are you talking about? What was wrong with your sisters?”

  “They were um, you know…sick like you, and throwing up and stuff.”

  “Well, what was wrong with them?” I asked, thinking I might get some insight on what had been ailing me.

  “They were um…oh, it doesn’t matter…”

  “No, tell me, please. They were what?” I asked, grabbing his arm.

  He looked around to make sure no one was there and then whispered, “They were…pregnant. Both of them. I had two nieces born the same week, just a few weeks ago.”

  “Pregnant?”

  “Yeah. Look, I told you, I won’t say anything. I’ve just been watching you for a long time…so I’ve noticed you’ve been sick,” he looked down at my chest and quickly back up to my eyes, and said, “and stuff.”

  “Watching me?”

  “I’m not a stalker or anything. But, I like you. I always have. You’re beautiful, and nice and sweet…sorry, I’ve kind of had a thing for you for a while now.”

  I stared up at him, shocked by his admission. “Justin, you know I have…”

  “I know. Look, I’m not asking for anything. I know you love him. Um, does he know?”

  “Does he know what?”

  “About…” he stopped and looked down at my belly.

  It finally hit me; he actually thought I was pregnant. He had said as much, but it just didn’t register that he could be talking about me.

  “I’m not pregnant, Justin. I mean, I can’t be pregnant.” I was actually laughing at him, now.

  “Oh, I just assumed…you know, an older guy and all, and you seem so crazy about him.”

  “I am. I’ve been in love with him for years. But, I’m not…pregnant. Trust me, he’s very cautious,” I blushed, knowing I just admitted to sleeping with Kellan.

  “Sorry. I didn’t mean to pry.”

  “No, it’s fine, really. I don’t know what it is, but I’m sure that’s not it,” I grinned up at him again.

  “Okay, good. Sorry. Um, I’ll see you at school.”

  “Okay. Thanks again.”

  “Who was that?” Nancy barked when I walked through the door.

  “A friend from school. I wasn’t feeling well, so he gave me a ride home.”

  “Hmm, I wonder what your brother would think about you running around behind his back with some jock?” she asked snidely. She must have been watching us out the window and noticed his varsity jacket.

  “Kellan isn’t my brother, he’s my boyfriend, and Justin is just a friend. Why am I explaining this to you? I don’t feel well, I’m going to bed.”

  I took a shower, ate a few bites of some left-over pizza and went to bed. I was planning on reading until Kellan called, but two pages into the book, I was out. I woke up around 4 am with my phone flashing 10 missed calls…all from Kellan.

  I looked at the last time he called, it was 3:40, so I knew he wasn’t going to sleep until I talked to him so that he’d know I was alright.

  “My God, Abby; where the hell have you been?” he asked, sounding both angry and relieved.

  “I’m sorry. I still don’t feel well. I was waiting for your call, but fell asleep while reading.”

  “Okay, as long as you’re alright.”

  “I’m fine.”

  “But, you’re still feeling sick? You’ve been sick for over a month.”

  “I can’t shake it, whatever it is. I’ll be fine. I haven’t been sleeping well. I think I’ll stay home from school tomorrow…or I guess it’s already tomorrow, and sleep. Maybe I can knock it.”

  We talked for a while, but I knew he was tired after being up all night worrying about me. I finally told him he needed to get some sleep and to stop worrying about me.

  “Once you’re out of that house…and home with me, then I’ll stop worrying.”

  “Where’s home?” I asked, curious as to where he wanted to live after he graduated.

  “With you…anywhere, with you.”

  “I love you. Goodnight.”

  It was finally the last day of school before Thanksgiving break. I still hadn’t managed to get over that nasty bug, and I was getting irritated by it. I was constantly tired and run down, I had no appetite and I had lost quite a bit of weight from not only not eating much, but from throwing up what I did eat.

  I was walking home from school when I noticed a strange car pull up alongside me.

  “Hey beautiful, want a ride?” Tyler grinned.

  “Tyler!”

  He pulled over and got out and hugged me. “I’ve missed you.”

  “How long are you home?” I asked, thrilled to see him.

  “Until Sunday. I thought I’d give you a ride home and ask you over to dinner at my house tomorrow night.”

  “Oh, that sounds so wonder…um, but what about Stephanie?”

  “She’s fine with it. She’s spending the day with her family, and I’m spending the day with you…oh, and my family,” he grinned.

  “I’m not sure…”

  “Kellan already said it was fine.”

  “You talked to him?”

  “Yeah, a few times, actually. He’s kind of worried about you.”

  “I’m fine. Better, now that you’re home.”

  “He said you’ve been sick and distant. What’s that all about?”

  “Boy, you don’t mince words. I’m fine, really.”

  “You look…white as a ghost.”

  “I just can’t seem to shake this flu bug.”

  “Okay, I’ll take you home and pick you up at ten o’clock tomorrow morning, okay?”

  I reached up and hugged him. “Sounds wonderful.”

  Tyler was telling me all about school and how much fun he was having. I was happy for him and jealous all at the same time.

  “So, I’ll see you in the morning. Are you sure you feel alright?” he asked, touching my cheek with the back of his hand. “You don’t seem to have a fever.”

  “I’m fine…I’m just not getting over this…bug. I’m so tired all the time. I can’t eat, and when I do, I throw it up. I’m dizzy and my…” I stopped when I realized I was getting a bit too personal.

  “What?”

  “Nothing,” I s
aid, too embarrassed to say that my boobs were killing me. My cycle was all screwed up from stopping the birth control pills all at once, and that only added to my misery.

  “How long have you been sick?”

  “I don’t know. A month or two, or so…I’m not sure. It just won’t go away. I think a lot of it is stress…I miss him, so much.”

  “I’m sorry. Well, I’ll see you at ten.”

  “Okay. Thank you, Tyler. I’m so glad you’re home.”

  “Yeah, I’m a pretty poor substitute for the big guy, but I’m better than nothing,” he grinned.

  I hugged him tight and said, “I hope Stephanie knows how wonderful you are. You’re not a substitute for anything…I’m sorry that I made you feel that way.”

  “No tears, Abigail! We’re good friends now, and I can live with that.”

  I watched him walk away and realized I was so happy he was home, if only for a short time.

  “Why did you call Tyler?” I asked Kellan that evening.

  “I didn’t want you to be alone for Thanksgiving. I hate that I’m not going to be there.”

  “Me, too! But, you didn’t have to call Tyler…”

  “Don’t you want to go?”

  “I don’t want to stay here alone, missing you.”

  “Then you should go. Have fun. Eat some turkey for me.”

  “Are you sure you don’t mind? What are you doing?”

  He sighed and said, “I was going to talk to you about that, too. I’m going to Margot’s…if that’s okay with you?”

  I thought about it for a second and I figured if he could trust me with Tyler, then I should be able to trust him with Margot…although I hadn’t slept with Tyler. “It’s fine. If we can’t be together for Thanksgiving, then we should be with friends. Have fun…but, not too much fun,” I said, and then regretted it.

  “Abby, I swear…”

  “I know, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. I didn’t mean it. I’m just jealous that she gets to be with you tomorrow.”

  “I’ll call you tomorrow night, okay?”

  “Okay. Goodnight. Oh, wait, if you were planning on going to Margot’s for Thanksgiving, why did you tell me to eat some turkey for you?”

  “Margot’s a vegetarian. I’m pretty sure we’re going to have Tofurkey,” he said, as if just the mention of the word left a bad taste in his mouth.

  “Tofurkey? Okay, I’ll eat some turkey for you…I um, I’ll talk…to you tomorrow,” I said, and quickly hung up to run to the bathroom to vomit, once again.

  I got back into bed and my mind drifted to my much earlier conversation with Justin. I actually smiled when I remembered him telling me he thought I was pregnant. If he only knew that Kellan wouldn’t even kiss me before I was on birth control, he’d have laughed, too. I put my hand to my belly and imagined carrying Kellan’s baby…someday. I fell back to sleep and managed to sleep through my alarm and finally woke to loud knocking at my front door.

  “Abby, where are you?” Tyler yelled.

  I sat up in bed quickly, which sent my head reeling. I waited for my head to stop spinning for a few seconds and then ran to the door.

  “I’m sorry, I over-slept.”

  Tyler looked at me just like he used to, but then caught himself. “Um, still wearing Kellan’s old shirts to bed, huh?”

  I smiled, “Yeah, I guess I’ve kind of outgrown them, but I love them anyway.”

  “Yeah, they work,” he sighed.

  “Tyler…”

  “Hey, I told you, I’ll always love you. Now go get dressed, my mom’s cooked up a storm; yams, turkey, stuffing…”

  The mention of food sent me running to the bathroom. I barely made it to the toilet in time to throw up…or dry heave, as I hadn’t kept anything down in a while.

  Tyler was standing in the doorway, helpless.

  I finished retching and found my way to the sink.

  “God, Abby, how long has this been going on?”

  “I told you, a month or two. I can’t get rid of this bug.”

  “Um, a bug? Are you sure that’s all it is?”

  “Yeah, why?”

  He looked at me strangely. “No reason. Are you feeling better now, or do you want me to stay with you here, today?”

  “No, I’ll be fine. I feel better already.”

  “You and Kellan were like…careful, right?”

  “What?”

  “Never mind, it’s none of my business.”

  He was staring at my stomach, and Justin’s words echoed through my head. “I’m not pregnant!”

  “I didn’t say you were,” he said, but looked away.

  “It was only one night, Tyler…I told you that.”

  “Did you read the book he bought you?”

  “Yeah, I did, thank you very much! I also read the parts about birth control…and I was on the pill.”

  “Oh. Well, that’s good. They’re not one hundred percent effective, you know?”

  “Tyler, I’m not pregnant!”

  “Okay. Well, get ready.”

  Tyler’s entire family was at his house and they all welcomed me back with open arms. I was introduced to the rest of the family, and there were a lot of them. Tyler’s sisters were there. I was amazed by all the noise and commotion, but I felt welcome and managed to join right in.

  Tyler’s sister Jen sat down next to me on the couch and started to nurse her baby. I was kind of shocked, but I didn’t say anything.

  “Jen, we have bedrooms,” Tyler said, looking irritated with his sister.

  “I get tired of being locked away all the time. If you don’t like it, then you go to one of the bedrooms.”

  He rolled his eyes and said, “I’m sorry, Abby.”

  “It’s fine, really. Um, so how old is she?” I asked Jen without looking directly at her.

  “She’s seven months.”

  “She’s beautiful. She’s big for seven months, isn’t she?”

  “Yeah, and she was a big surprise, too.”

  “Oh, you weren’t trying?”

  “No, we were definitely not trying. And, I had no idea I was pregnant. Although I should have known. I was never so sick. I couldn’t eat, I was tired and dizzy. My boobs killed me…”

  “JEN!” Tyler shouted, obviously embarrassed.

  “Oh grow up, Tyler,” she snapped at him and then turned back to me. “I really thought I had the flu. I had only been off my birth control pills for two weeks. I was going to get the Depo shot…”

  She was still talking, I could hear her, but my mind stopped listening, and instead, I focused on what she had just said. She thought it was the flu…couldn’t eat, tired, dizzy, sore breasts…I was suddenly starting to panic. I must have turned white because she finally ceased talking and Tyler was kneeling in front of me.

  “Abby, are you okay?”

  Off of her birth control pills for two weeks…

  “Abby!”

  “What?” I said.

  “Are you okay?”

  “Um, I don’t know.” I stood up, not sure what to do. I needed to leave, go somewhere and think.

  “Are you sick, again?” he asked.

  “Oh, God, I don’t think I’m sick…” I said, and started to panic.

  “What’s wrong?” Tyler’s mother asked, coming out of the kitchen with plates of pumpkin pie. I looked down at the plates and had to run to the bathroom.

  I puked…again. I rinsed out my mouth and washed my face and then sat down on the toilet to think.

  It all made sense; no wonder I couldn’t get over the flu. I didn’t have the flu, I had morning sickness. I reached down to my still-flat belly, searching for any possible sign, but felt none.

  “Are you okay, Abby?” Tyler asked through the door.

  I had to pull myself together. I stood up and slowly walked to the door and opened it. “I um, I’m not feeling well. Do you think you could take me home, please?”

  “Sure. Yeah, come on.”

  “I don’t w
ant to be rude, but would you thank your mom and everyone for me?”

  “Sure. Let’s go.”

  He told his mom I was sick and said he’d be back.

  “Can I get you anything, Abby?” Mrs. Wills followed him out of the kitchen.

  “No, thank you. I um, I think I just need to go home. Thank you for dinner.”

  “Anytime, honey. Don’t make yourself a stranger.”

  I nodded and let Tyler lead me to his car.

  Once inside his car, he turned to me and said, “Are you okay?”

  I looked up at him and started to shake as the reality was once again sinking in.

  “What is it?”

  “I think you were right…” I was breathing hard again, feeling claustrophobic, although that had never been an issue with me before.

  “Right about what?” he asked.

  “Would you take me home now, please?”

  “Abby…”

  “Tyler, please. I don’t want to cry in front of you, again. Please?” I begged, my eyes starting to fill with tears.

  “Okay,” he said softly and headed toward my house.

  When he pulled into my driveway he said, “Okay, you’re home. I don’t really want to leave you…like this.”

  “I’m…fine…”

  “Are you?”

  I shook my head no and the tears started. I couldn’t stop them. Tyler scooted over to me and pulled me into his arms. I was so distraught, I let him.

  “It’s okay. Whatever it is, it can’t be that bad.”

  I looked up into his eyes as the tears poured from mine and nodded. “I know you need to get back to your family, but would you take me to a store, please?”

  “Yeah, sure. What do you need?”

  I swallowed hard and whispered, “A pregnancy test.”

  He nodded and squeezed my hand and drove me to the only store open Thanksgiving night.

  “Thank you,” I said when Tyler walked me to my door.

  “Can I come in with you, for a few minutes? I just want to make sure you’re okay.”

  “I’ll be fine.”

  “Okay. I um, I hope it’s not…well, I hope you get the answer you want. I swear I won’t say a word.”

  “Thank you.” I watched him walk toward his car and suddenly knew I didn’t want to be alone. “Tyler?”

  “Yeah?”

  “I changed my mind. Can you stay for a little while?” I asked, terrified to be alone when I peed on that little stick; a little stick that could change my life, forever.