Gorgeous Chaos

by T. K. Leigh

  “Dr. Bowen,” Cam spoke into the phone.

  “Dr. Bowen? My name is Detective David Wilder with the Boston Police Department. I’m sending a plane to Jacksonville Airport. We need you up in Boston.”

  Cam’s heart began to race. Boston? Why Boston? It must mean… “What’s going on in Boston?”

  David sighed loudly. “Technically, you’ll be heading to the Cape. Alexander Burnham has requested you be here. It’s Olivia…”

  “Olivia?” he asked quickly, nerves coursing through his body. “What’s wrong with Olivia?”

  “I’ll go through all the details during the flight. Mr. Burnham needs you to be there for her, if and when she wakes up.”

  Cam let out a quiet sob. What happened?

  ~~~~~~~~~~

  TWO HOURS LATER, CAM was sitting on a luxurious Gulfstream heading north. It took him a fair bit to process the story that the man sitting across from him had relayed. It sounded like something from a horrible movie. Yet it was Olivia’s life.

  “We need you to help us understand how this is going to affect her,” the man named David said.

  Snapping out of his shock, Cam knew he had a job to do. Olivia needed him…more than she had ever needed him in the past. All her friends and family were desperate for an explanation.

  “What everyone needs to understand is this guy’s mental state. I’ve looked at her father’s file. This is someone who went into the Marines at eighteen. He did his time and then joined the agency. Hell, he had already been working on special-ops by the time he was twenty-four. He didn’t meet Olivia’s mother until he had already been working for the agency for quite a while. I don’t want to be the one to say it but, based on everything I see in front of me here, this was someone who used his family as a cover-up for who he truly was…a person with no feelings, no emotion. He had been trained to know what people would expect and how to convince them that he was a well-adjusted member of society. That’s what he was doing all those years. He put on a show, pretending to care about his wife and his daughter, but he was just using that as a front to hide his true nature, including his criminal behavior. You know how it is. You're always less likely to expect the doting husband and loving father to be capable of committing horrendous crimes.”

  David shook his head, having trouble understanding. “But my father-in-law, Alexander’s dad…he was in the agency, too. He wasn’t anything like this monster.”

  Cam nodded his head. “Yes, and most people can learn to turn it off. It doesn’t appear Jack ever did. He couldn’t separate his CIA persona with his real persona. After a while, he became the person the CIA wanted him to be. He couldn’t separate it so he had no problem killing his wife. She was just another target in his mind. And Olivia…” He paused, trying to block out all the horrible things that she had endured over the past day. “Olivia…” he trembled. “She was just an asset. Nothing more. The minute she failed to be valuable to him, he had no problem disposing of her.”

  “But he just stepped aside while she was assaulted,” David urged. “Repeatedly. I just can’t understand why any father, no matter how fucked up in the head you are, could do that.”

  “I know,” Cam agreed. “But we have compassion, something this guy never had. He never saw her as his daughter. The bond that most of us have with our own parents never existed between Olivia and her father. Olivia may have felt it, but he never did. Any happy memories she may think she had with him were simply moments that he was playing the part. When push came to shove and he became desperate enough to find that evidence, he was willing to try anything. Including…”

  “Fucking bastard,” David mumbled.

  Cam nodded his head, all his thoughts consumed by Olivia and what kind of mental state she would be in after going through what she did those past twenty-four hours. The air was thick with silence while both men processed everything. As the plane began its final descent, Cam spoke again, “I’m not sure what we can expect when she wakes up. She’s probably going to have a lot of questions that she may not like the answers to. The most important thing is that she be surrounded by people that love her. Her family.”

  ~~~~~~~~~~

  “CAM! THANK GOD YOU’RE here!” Alexander exclaimed when he heard the door open and glanced back to see him walk into Olivia’s hospital room. He jumped up from his chair and hugged the one person that he knew could bring her back from whatever dark place she would be in when she finally woke up.

  “How is she?” Cam asked, his face awash with concern.

  Alexander shrugged, fighting back the tears. “No one knows. They don’t know when she’ll wake up. She was…”

  “David already told me,” Cam interrupted, knowing that it would be difficult for Alexander to talk about what happened. He walked over to the bed and stared down at Olivia’s lifeless body, fearful of what she would have to go through when she woke up. As if suffering at the hands of the man that gave her life wasn’t bad enough, she would now have to live with that every day for the rest of her existence. Cam prayed she would be strong enough to make it through. He glanced over at Alexander clutching her small hand in his own, his eyes trained lovingly on Olivia, and Cam knew that with him by her side, she could get through anything.

  Sighing deeply, he turned to Alexander. “I’ll let you have some time with her. I’ll be here when she wakes up.”

  Alexander shook Cam’s hand, looking him in the eyes. “Thank you for being here. For leaving your life to be here for me, and for Olivia. It seems that you’re the only one who knows how to get through to her.”

  Cam simply nodded and left the room, heading straight to the men’s room and letting all the pent-up emotions wash over him as he cried for Olivia, praying that she would wake up.

  ~~~~~~~~~~

  “MR. BURNHAM, I’M SORRY.” Dr. Hatheway made a few notes on the chart attached to Olivia’s bed as she spoke to him Saturday afternoon. “I wish I could give you more information, but I just don’t know. All her vital signs are good. But for now, it’s just a waiting game.”

  “What can I do? Do you think she can hear me?” The longer she remained unconscious, the more fearful Alexander became that she was slipping further away.

  “It’s hard to say. Just talk to her as if she was awake. Maybe if she keeps hearing your voice, it will give her something to fight for. She’s in there somewhere. Give her a reason to come back.” She smiled before walking toward the door. “I’ll give you some privacy.”

  He thanked her and turned back to face Olivia. He had never felt so helpless in his entire life. It was the worst feeling in the world, not knowing when or if she would wake up. He vowed to stay by her side until she came back to him. She needed to come back to him.

  “It’s August twenty-fourth.” He sat down and grabbed her hand, toying with her ring. “Our wedding day. Well, what was supposed to be our wedding day.” He caressed her hand, marveling at how small it looked compared to his. “I just wanted to get the horrible memories of this date out of my head. I hated what the day represented.”

  Alexander smiled, remembering the previous year. “Last year, when I went to Mystic to visit your grave, it was so strange. I would normally sit and tell you everything that had happened that year. That’s why I always kept a journal. In fact, nearly every day since the day we buried you, I wrote you a letter, telling you about what was going on in my life.”

  He reached down and grabbed a journal from a large box. “See, this is from the year you were taken from me. I had Carter bring a few things to me. I’m willing to try anything to get you to wake up.”

  Looking over at Olivia’s pale face, he opened the notebook. “This was Mom’s idea, actually. She said that maybe if I wrote to you, I could keep you alive somehow…” He trailed off, trying to hide his tears. Taking a deep breath, he closed his eyes, willing himself to stay strong. It was getting more and more difficult with each passing minute.

  “September first. Dear Olibia…” He looked up, smiling. “Oh,
love, you should see how horrible my handwriting was back then. I can barely read it.” Returning his gaze to the journal in front of him, he continued, “You were put in the ground today. I never even got to say good-bye to you. It’s not fair. One day you were lying in the hospital bed. I told you to wake up. I guess you just didn’t want to listen to me. Why couldn’t you listen to me just once? Is it really that difficult?! I’m sorry, Olibia. I don’t mean to yell at you. It’s not your fault. I don’t know whose fault it is. I miss you. I got back from the funeral this afternoon and I changed into my play clothes. I ran out of the house to go and play with you and then I realized that you’re not there to play with me anymore…”

  Alexander lowered his head, clutching Olivia’s hand in his. “I’m sorry, love,” he sobbed. “I don’t think I can finish.”

  “Find a happier memory, Alex, darling…”

  He turned his head around, surprised to see his mother standing in the doorway. “Ma. What are you doing here?”

  “Just checking to see how you’re holding up.” She walked over and placed her hand on his shoulder.

  “Not good, Ma. I just want her to wake up. That’s all. Every minute that goes by, I feel like she’s slipping further and further away.” He trembled.

  Colleen sat down next to her son and wrapped her arms around him. “Oh, Alex. I know it may seem so bleak right now, but you need to stay strong.”

  “How do I do that?” he asked, meeting her eyes.

  “Think of what you would say to her if she was awake. She’s probably itching to wake up and she will. She’s a fighter.”

  Alexander clutched his mother’s arms, no longer trying to hide his emotions. “I just can’t lose her. Not again.”

  “You won’t. So buck up and tell her one of your happier memories.” She helped him straighten up. “Come on. I know you’ve got some in there.”

  He thought about her words for a minute. Smiling, he reached down and grabbed his journal from the previous year. He flipped through the pages, searching for a certain entry. “Ah, here it is. August nineteenth. Dear Olivia, I met someone this weekend. I can’t explain it, but this is a girl I actually want to get to know, instead of just bang and then kick to the curb…” Alexander cringed, looking at his mother. “Sorry, Ma.”

  “Alex, darling, I am perfectly aware of all your previous sexual exploits, as is most of the country.”

  He blushed before returning his eyes to his journal, reading out loud once more, “She is absolutely breathtaking. If you hadn’t died, I’m pretty sure you would look just like this girl. She has the deepest brown eyes I’ve ever seen. Her smile has probably broken many hearts, and her lips… Well, I am anxious to get a taste of them.” His heart warmed at the memory as he gazed down at Olivia’s cold lips, thinking how much they had both grown together since that fateful night a year ago.

  “But there’s something about her that reminds me of you. There are so many coincidences. Her name is Olivia, too. Well, technically, it’s Sarah. Olivia is her middle name, but she goes by Olivia. She also lost her parents in a car accident. I know I shouldn’t read too much into it, but what are the chances? There’s something about her, though, that I just can’t put my finger on. The way she carries herself is almost tragic. Her gorgeous eyes show the chaos deep within her soul, and I want her to let me in to see what’s underneath her hard exterior.”

  Gazing over at Olivia’s body, he recalled the first time he saw her beautiful brown eyes. It seemed as if there was a glimmer of recognition there. The first time he touched her, he felt an electricity and excitement that he couldn’t remember experiencing with another person in all his years.

  Returning his attention to the journal in his hands, he continued, “I first laid eyes on her as she was running down State Street, trying to get away from some creep who was chasing her. Turns out he was some guy she used to ‘date’. Apparently, her idea of relationships is quite like mine. Fuck and then leave. But, with her, it almost seems like she does that to keep everyone away, as if she doesn’t want to get close. I just can’t figure it out. And there are too many coincidences. After finally giving up hope of finding you, I run into this girl. Is it you? Part of me wants it to be you. But another part of me hopes that you are safely looking over me from above because if you are still alive, why did Dad tell me you died? Why the secrets?”

  His chin quivered as memories came flooding back. He wasn’t ready to say good-bye yet. She had to come back to him. They hadn’t even started living their lives together. Tears fell from his eyes as he buried his head against Olivia’s still body, not wanting to come to terms with the idea of losing her all over again. “Please… Don’t leave me…”

  “Alex…”

  That was his Olivia’s voice, he was sure of it. His eyes went wide and he looked at his mother, hoping that she had heard it, too. Her seat was empty. He returned his gaze to Olivia. Her eyes were closed and there was no hint of movement. Maybe he was losing his mind from the lack of sleep. Still, he was certain that he heard her say his name.

  “What was it that your mama always said when we were arguing? The best solution to any problem is music?” He shrugged. “Something like that anyway…”

  He looked over to where his guitar case sat in the corner of the room with the other items that Carter had brought to him. “Maybe that’s the answer.” He walked over and grabbed his guitar out of the case. Olivia lived and breathed music. Maybe it was what she needed to wake up. He didn’t care how stupid it sounded. He was desperate and willing to try anything.

  Looking out the window into the darkness of the night, he checked the tuning on his guitar. He was starting to have a bad feeling about what that day would bring. It was, after all, August twenty-fourth. A day that had brought him nothing but sorrow and pain in the past.

  He thought for a minute about what to play. It needed to be something Olivia would want to hear. “You’ve been on a bit of a Coldplay kick lately, haven’t you?” he asked, looking at her, hoping she would answer. “Okay. Coldplay it is then, love.”

  He began playing the opening chords of Till Kingdom Come, looking over Olivia’s beaten frame as he sang for her. Hoping to see any sign of movement as he played, he poured his heart into the song. He thought about all those hours he and Olivia would spend in the music room at their house, fooling around and playing together. It always brought back memories of their time as children. He wished that he had told her everything sooner. There were so many things he wanted to share with her. He wanted to reminisce about their past. He just hoped it wasn’t too late.

  As he sang the words, he knew that they were true. He would never leave Olivia’s side. He would sit there and wait for her, no matter how long it took. It was fate that they had found each other again. He knew, deep down, that fate would bring her back to him once more. When she woke up, he planned on never letting her go. He vowed to be an open book and never keep anything from her again.

  After finishing the song, he placed his guitar back in the case. He stood up, looking down at Olivia, silently pleading for her to wake up. He watched her for several minutes, looking for a sign of movement. Shaking his head in defeat, he walked over to the window and stared out at the night sky.

  “I think a part of me has always been waiting for you…”

  Alexander turned abruptly at the sound of the voice coming from the bed. Olivia’s eyes were open and her one good arm was reaching for him.

  “Olivia?” He rushed to her side, frantically pressing the nurse’s call button.

  “Alex… I’m so sorry,” she whispered, tears streaming down her face.

  The door to the room swung open and Dr. Hatheway ran inside. “She’s awake? I don’t believe it.” The doctor feverishly began checking her vital signs. “My name is Dr. Hatheway. Do you know where you are?”

  “In the hospital,” Olivia responded, her eyes frantically scanning the room as she tried to comprehend what was going on.

  Alexander stood t
o the side, anxious to be able to hold Olivia but couldn’t with the medical staff checking and prodding her.

  “Good. Do you know why you’re here?”

  Olivia nodded slowly, biting her bottom lip, trying to stop her chin from quivering. “Yes. I was shot, kicked, and…”

  “ENOUGH!” Alexander roared, the entire room becoming eerily silent.

  Everyone turned to look at him.

  “Please. I beg you. Do not make her relive what she’s been through. Not now…” He didn’t know if he could bear hearing those words come out of her sweet mouth.

  “I apologize. I was just trying to determine whether she’s suffered any memory loss,” Dr. Hatheway said to him before turning back to Olivia. “Do you know the man standing over there?” she asked, gesturing toward Alexander.

  A peaceful look crept across her face. “Yes. I’ve known him my entire life. He saved me…”

  A warmth spread through Alexander’s body when he saw Olivia smile. “Actually, love, Simon saved all of us. I owe him my life right now…”

  “Simon? I don’t understand…”

  “Don’t worry about it now. When you’re ready, we’ll talk about it. But, for now, just relax.”

  “Well, everything looks stable. How are you feeling?” Dr. Hatheway asked.

  “I hurt all over. My shoulder and chest and foot and stomach…”

  Alexander grabbed Olivia’s hand, looking up at the doctor. “Olivia, there’s something I need to tell you…”

  She looked into Alexander’s eyes and immediately became concerned when she saw them begin to water with new tears. “What is it?” she asked nervously.

  “Darling, did you know you were pregnant?”

  She slowly nodded, lowering her hand to her stomach, Alexander placing his over it as well. “I just took a pregnancy test the morning of…” She trailed off, her voice shaking. “Why are you talking in the past tense, Alex?” Her eyes flew from his to the doctor's, landing back on Alexander’s, desperately wanting someone to tell her what was going on.