Volition: Noah & Tessa's Story Book One (A Uniform & Lace Romance)

by Tina Maurine

  “My parents were the foster parents I went to when the state took me from my piece of shit father—he was a loser junkie. You know, I can’t think of a time when he wasn’t either drunk, abusive, or loaded.” He huffed disgustedly. “The parole officer had gotten a call from our park landlord that my dad was two months late on the rent, and every time he came by and rapped on the trailer door, he heard a kid crying inside.”

  “And you were the kid…” my voice wavered, full of emotion.

  “I was.” He ran his hands over his face, scrubbing at it as though he could erase the memories. “Fuck, Tess! I covered my dad up with blankets, I talked to him… Hell, I even made him a goddamn bowl of cereal!”

  He rolled over onto his back and lay blanketed in the dancing lights of the Aurora Borealis. I heard him mutter how stupid he’d been under his breath.

  “The police declared the cause of death an OD, and placed the time a good day and a half before they entered and found me. My social worker brought me to Laura and Dave, who became my parents. They’d been trying to have kids with no luck, so they fostered instead. Their home had just re-opened, and they welcomed me with loving arms.”

  I reached out and placed my hand on his chest, sliding it down his abdomen, tracing his six-pack with my finger tip—I heard his sharp intake of breath, which caused my intimate parts to pulse. He stilled my hand. So far, Noah had played the perfect gentleman all day. He hadn’t gotten too close to me, nor had he tried to score a home run… although I’d allowed him to make a base or two.

  “You know,” he began again after a comfortable silence, “if it hadn’t been for my parents, there’s no way I’d be lying here with you. It’s because of them that I’ve made something of myself. They made me believe that I was loved, at least for a time.”

  “For a time?” Instinctively, I went to console him with my hand, but he held it quiet on his stomach, sighing in the process.

  “Yes. My parents were movers and shakers. They made things happen. Can you believe I was adopted only months after they moved me in?”

  I inhaled in preparation to respond, but he inadvertently cut me off. “Once they realized there was no coming back from the rough spot they were in, they divorced, just as quickly.”

  “No shit…”

  “Yeah. Like I said, when they wanted something, they made it happen.”

  Even though he hadn’t had the perfect childhood, I reflected, it was clear how much he still loved and respected his parents—hell, the intelligence and courteous manner he’d displayed while we shared all day impressed me. “Noah…?”

  He absentmindedly interjected, “You know, Tessa, I can’t remember the last time—shit, if ever—that I felt so comfortable talking to someone that I lost track of time…” He paused to reflect, “Oh yeah,” he smiled, “this happened earlier today with you too. What is it with you, Tessa?” He interlaced his fingers with mine, giving them a gentle squeeze.

  As dark as Noah’s eyes had been when he had been retelling the various parts of his dark history; they shone bright and full of life now. It was as though sharing these things with me had unburdened his soul and freed him; free to shine. My soul welcomed the connection and reciprocated.

  Noah’s strong arm drew me in tightly to him, pulling me from my thoughts of last night.

  Noah is truly a class act, and I REALLY like him and all he seems to be.

  I distinctly recalled, as I lay there with my skin warming in the full light of the morning sun, the precise moment when I realized just how close we’d gotten—more than I’d thought possible in such a short amount of time. He’d brushed a tendril off my cheek.

  My recollection of the sweetness of the moment carved a smile across my lips, which faded as soon as I remembered that it didn’t matter how strong our chemistry was or how much I liked him. He had no room in his heart for me.

  Noah shifted, tucking me in even tighter to him; grabbing my ass and fitting me to him like a puzzle piece. Our legs entwined and our hips molded into each other’s instinctively. My shirt had hitched its way up, leaving nothing between me and Noah’s hand on my ass except my skimpy panties. I wiggled just a little, trying to shift his morning wood away from my specials.

  “Mmm… Good morning, beautiful,” he growled in a husky voice.

  “Good morning, Noah. Dream well?” Insecurity laced my voice. I cleared my throat, drawing attention to the stiffness that jabbed against my very aware body.

  “As a matter of fact, I did. But then, how could I not?” With that, Noah playfully thrust his hips toward me. He chuckled, and I could tell he was smiling; a good thing after how last night’s conversation ended.

  I couldn’t seem to get comfortable. I wiggled in effort to find that cozy zone, not because he pressed so impressively against me, but because I felt he shouldn’t, or rather that I should at least feel a little more uncomfortable that he was naked and sporting morning wood. After all, this sexy, virile almost-stranger who was now decidedly ONLY my friend lay too intimately close to me.

  Swiftly, his right hand, which had been holding my ass, snapped up to quiet my squirming hip. I whipped my head around, opened my eyes and found myself staring into deep, visibly aroused indigo blue depths.

  How strange that his eyes were nearly clear yesterday, and today they’re azure. Stop thinking about his raging hard-on! Oh man, he smells so, soooo good. Jeezus… We ended it, remember? You are JUST, and ONLY friends because it can NEVER go anywhere, dummy! My thoughts were all over the place, and how could they not be, with Noah there… like he was!

  Noah kept his eyes locked onto mine, his hand firmly placed on my hip. I swear I could feel his heartbeat in his stretched, full member.

  “You’re going to be the cause of my undoing,” he said in a husky, lust-laden voice. “You really should get up, but I cannot have you do any kind of moving… just yet. I need a minute to… unwind.”

  I couldn’t help myself and flashed an ear-to-ear smile.

  “Yeah, yeah go ahead and be proud of yourself. I haven’t been wound this tightly in a long, LONG while.”

  17

  I’d say everyone was up and moving about the bus by ten. Even if Sammie and Dirk hadn’t made an appearance, I could hear they were awake. It was a much later start than I would have preferred, especially since I’d been up for close to three hours already.

  After Noah and I had progressed past the intimate awkwardness, and I’d been allowed to move, get up, and get the day going, things really started clicking. Not just the routine of showering, getting dressed and starting coffee, but Noah and I seemed back on track comfort wise. Honestly, we were hanging out a lot like Ari and I do—as besties. I felt the sexual tension between Noah and me that Ari and I also felt, but truth be told, when do two good looking people of the opposite sex NOT feel some sort of attraction to one another, even if they’re just calling themselves friends? NEVER, that’s when. I was okay with that; harmless flirting, sexual insinuations, and innocent touching were all part of the fun when you can call a single guy a best friend.

  “Hiya, hookas!” Sammie bounded down the hall and stepped down into the kitchen. She made a bee-line straight for the coffee pot. Clad in only a partially buttoned down long-sleeved shirt cuffed to just below her elbow, her hair all kinds of mussed up, she definitely had the ‘freshly fucked’ appearance. I couldn’t outright assume anything, though, until she gave me the 411 later.

  “Enjoy yourselves last night?” I questioned simply enough. Sammie filled her cup to the brim, turned and raised her left eyebrow while smirking a Cheshire Cat half grin.

  “That good, huh?” I quipped and threw her one of my famous Hubba Hubba eyebrow raises.

  Sammie looked at Noah, now wearing a pair of expensive, name-brand sweats, and sauntered over to me. She leaned toward my ear so only I could hear “Tessa. Oh. My. God. You have no idea.” She leaned back and grinned at me, took another look at Noah’s half-clad body and his delicious pecs and abs. “Then again,” s
he added loud enough for everyone to hear, “maybe you do.” She winked and turned to head back down the hall, laughing as she disappeared behind closed doors for what ended up being another couple of hours.

  I looked over at Noah, who sat in the captain’s chair looking like the cat who swallowed the canary.

  “Knock that ridiculous grin off your face. You know, everyone is going to think something went on between us.”

  “So? Let them think.”

  “Easy for you to say. You don’t end up with a reputation.” I rolled my eyes at him, wishing he were a little less cavalier about the whole thing.

  Sure, I was pissed, but couldn’t help but notice how well he filled out the front of his sweats as he lounged there. I licked my lips, dragging my eyes up from his ‘V’, knowing he was commando under them.

  “Tessa.”

  I dragged my attention away from what he looked like, and back to what he was saying.

  “You and I know what really happened. Dirk knows about Pallavi and me. You’ll set Sammie straight. As for Kari and Dax, do you really think they’re going to give us much thought at all? I mean, they’re acting like they’re on their honeymoon. So, trust me. This is NOT a big deal.”

  I went over to Noah and pulled him up out of his chair. My eyes fluttered across his sculpted chest, pausing on his ‘Lisa’ tattoo.

  Lisa? Lisa… I felt the briefest stab of jealousy that he had cared so much for another woman, even more than Pallavi, that he tattooed her name over his heart.

  “I need a hug,” I said timidly.

  I’d borrowed one of Dax’s shirts this morning after my shower to wear over my bikini. To my dismay, Noah unbuttoned it and wrapped his strong arms around my barely-clad body. He pulled me to him tightly, nuzzling into my neck.

  God, I love the feeling of his bare skin against mine.

  I relaxed into his embrace. We stood snuggling in each other’s warmth, pulling energy from the other. A quiet moan of contentment escaped Noah, as I became keenly aware that the third party in his pants had joined us.

  “Noah?” I sighed. “Noah. We’re just friends.” I did everything I could to keep myself from taking a peek.

  He gave a frustrated growl, “I know, but… shit, Tessa, there is just something about you. I can’t—He can’t help himself.”

  Trust me, handsome; the frustration’s mutual.

  When Noah lifted his head and his pale blue eyes anchored onto my jade ones, my knees actually buckled. He gave me the same kind of look a lover gives; the kind that says a million things he feels but cannot express verbally.

  “Ahem.” At the sound of someone clearing their throat, we finally tore our heady gazes apart, and I peeled my body from his. Keenly aware of how uncomfortably cold the room had suddenly gotten, I immediately pulled my shirt closed and began buttoning it.

  The two lovebirds stood in the kitchen, Dax in his expensive sweats and Kari in a Chambray shirt. He had his arms wrapped around her waist from behind, holding her tightly to him.

  “It looks like a sweats and chambray kind of day,” I said jokingly, gesturing to what we were all wearing. I was trying to quickly move past what they had seen, had time to process, and most definitely had questions about.

  “Looks like!” Dax said enthusiastically as he squeezed Kari and winked at Noah. Kari tipped her head back. He placed a sweet kiss on her lips before she set about making their coffee.

  “So, what’s the plan for the day?” I asked as I positioned myself in the leather recliner, kitty-corner from Noah and across from the honeymooners. I crossed my legs, now feeling very aware of how naked I was. “You know, it might be really nice before we leave to swing by our room to pack some clothes.”

  “Pack, schmack. I vote we go shopping in Reyk!”

  Dax grinned like an idiot at Kari’s suggestion, as his hand indiscreetly made its way up her naked thigh.

  The morning’s laid-back cadence continued until about twelve, when we all decided to get a move on. Dax prepped the outside while Kari and I cleaned up what little mess we’d made. Noah made our bed and folded it away.

  On the way, Dax and Kari spent the majority of the time planning out ideas for their eminent road trip. Noah and I… well, to put it frankly, we fucked each other with our eyes pretty much the entire time. It started out flirtatious, friendly even. Dax cranked up the music, so there was no point in shouting over the tunes from our seats opposite one another. We gestured at first like clubhouse sign-language, the comical kind you create when you are a kid to keep others from understanding what you were talking about. I can pinpoint the exact moment when our innocent, friendly flirtation changed to something more; his eyes went from a light-Caribbean blue to deep cerulean.

  After this, and for the rest of the drive, I became aware of his every movement. I watched how he licked his full lips, and how he ran his long, strong fingers through his hair. I even took note of how his breathing changed instantly when R. Kelly’s “Your Body’s Callin’” came on the radio.

  Could he possibly remember? That night. That song. THAT dance we had? No, impossible. He’s a guy, after all, and one who did that kind of thing all the time.

  I pulled myself out of my head in time to see that Noah’s countenance had changed; his face had grown more troubled. He shifted uncomfortably, readjusting what looked like a semi in his pants. I glanced up toward the front of the bus, then back at Noah. He was devouring me with his stalker eyes—those ones I now appreciated, that stole the breath from my lungs.

  From here on out, our eyes FUCKED. We were in our own world where nothing else mattered. His breathing quickened, his desire hardened, his eyes darkened and grew more intense and demanding, challenging even. My pulse quickened, my mouth became dry and my lips swelled. I couldn’t look away from this intriguing, sexy-as-fuck man that sat before me, nor could he look away from me. My body vibrated with need, and not just sexual need. It was far greater. I craved him; to be near him, to be with him. My soul ached for fulfillment. The desire I felt consumed me. My volition held me prisoner to the unattainable ‘what if’.

  The loud music that flooded the bus suddenly muted. “Tessa,” Dax shouted, shocking me out of my headspace. Two things happened instantaneously: I thought of Pallavi and Suri, and just as I pulled my eyes from Noah’s hypnotic ones, my gaze focused on his Lisa tattoo.

  Reason ONE. Reason TWO.… just friends. Enough said.

  “Tessa.” Dax was still trying to get my attention, and everyone was looking at me since the music was still off. “Can you pour me up a cup of the good stuff, Suga?”

  I grabbed Dax the coffee he requested, and then settled in for the remainder of the ride, along smooth roads surrounded by fun scenery… not something I usually enjoy, since I am not a huge fan of road trips. We flew past land still mostly covered in snow, but as we got closer to town, the Icelandic grasses and tundra landscape emerged. Lucky for us, Dax was driving, since some of the road signs in town made absolutely NO sense to me whatsoever.

  “Well, here we are! There are over 100 shops and businesses and three floors to cover. What do you say we meet back here no later than 1800? I’ll go ahead and leave the key on the inside right rear tire, so if you get back before us, you can get in.”

  “Sounds good!” I glanced at Noah and found him staring at me with an arrogant smirk affixed on his face. Today’s going to be an interesting test of how well we can be ‘just friends’.

  “Hidey-ho!” Sammie made her appearance from the bunk room, grabbed Dirk and bounced off the steps. She’s definitely in the mood to shop.

  My growling stomach reminded me I needed to eat. I hadn’t had more than a couple of cups of coffee on the bus earlier, and my watch read 1645. I’d found a couple of pairs of nice jeans, a few shirts and a few sexy boudoir pieces that, believe it or not, Noah picked out for me. I wasn’t sure how I felt about wearing the sexy panties, but they were cute and fit well, so I figured it would be a little rude to put them back and pick out my own.
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  “Hey, Tess? Where’s your head at?” Noah playfully nudged me. “Are you really okay with the whole Vi thing?”

  Okay, yeah. Like, right? Right now? He wants to ask me this now? Like I could even say “Fuck NO, I’m not okay. I was really starting to like you and now you feel about as far off limits as a married guy with a family. Oh, that’s right?! You DO have an instant family.” Sure…yeah. Like he wants to hear the truth.

  “Jeezus, Tessa. Where are you?”

  I looked up at Noah. We’d taken a seat at the indoor food court, and I was supposed to try to decide what kind of crappy fast food I wanted to poison my body with. He’s right, I realized. I am a bit in my head, not very talkative today, but I’ve been plenty pleasant, just not overtly into him. After all, why should I be?

  “Sorry, Noah. It’s not you. What do you want me to say? Sure, then. For you, I am A-Okay with Vi and Suri; why shouldn’t I be?” The sarcasm oozed off my lips like dark molasses. “We only just met two days ago. That’s what you want me to say, isn’t it?”

  Fucker—it was three years ago! It’s such bullshit that I obviously feel more for you than you do me.

  I know I sounded far more put out than I should’ve, but I didn’t feel like being nice just for the sake of being nice. If I didn’t feel it, why should I act it, right? After I snapped at him so rudely, Noah frowned at me. I saw his shoulders slump, and he sat there quietly, awkwardly.

  I know, I know. Don’t lay into me… I chose this weekend road trip, but in my defense, it was before you became completely unavailable.

  “Tessa, I’m sorry. I guess I just didn’t realize how difficult this whole hanging out together thing would be. I was just hoping that because we’d made such a genuine connection, maybe you were supposed to be in my life in some way.” He rubbed his hands roughly over his face, as though trying to erase the scene that unfolded before him, before he continued. “I guess it isn’t fair for me to ask you to be just my friend. Maybe that’s not what you’re looking for.” He sighed, his penetrating blue eyes growing shades darker than they were this morning, when we were playfully cuddled in bed.