Kindling

by Agnes H Hagadus

  The former firefighter had to clear her throat. Her voice was breaking. At least on the latter, Jessie knew all too well what it was like to be referred to as a mistake. Her mother had let her know that, nearly every second of every day. It would have been better had Jessie grown up in foster care.

  “What we, as people that may come to understand, but never truly know, need to do is listen. We need to offer a shoulder to lean on.” Jessie reached out her hand. She placed it on Allison’s shoulder, momentarily. “And if you feel like you are falling in love, talk to Geraldine. Talk to Jackeline. Find a support group, even if it’s online.”

  Another deep breath was expelled. Allison already knew this friendship wouldn’t be easy. She was not one to trust, nor was Geraldine. That was a strike against it. But there was so much more.

  It wasn’t the fact Geraldine was making her outside reflect her insides. It was the fact Allison was attracted to her. That it wouldn’t take much to fall in love with the cowgirl.

  “It’s not just that.” Allison’s cheeks were burning. She was embarrassed, to say the least. “I’ve only known Geraldine for a few days, but I feel like I could…”

  “Fall in love?” Allison swallowed before shyly nodding. Jessie began leaning on the back of one of the chairs. She really needed to return to the meeting. But that could wait. A friend was in need. The others would understand.

  “In a way, I’ve been where you are.” The expression on Allison’s face informed Jessie she was skeptical. “I was never shy, like you or Geraldine. I was influenced by my father. He never respected women.”

  Jessie hated her past. But it was a part of her. It made her who she was. “In other words, he had affair after affair. I had one-night stands. I even tried to seduce Candy, who was already married to Kathy. I had no respect for others.”

  “I don’t know if…” Allison wasn’t certain why Jessie was telling her this. It was different than her situation. Jessie had not been an honorable woman. Both she and Geraldine were.

  “It’s different, yet it’s something I had to overcome.” Jessie couldn’t help but laugh. “It’s not you. It’s the older version of me. The things I said to both Candy and Thelma to get them in bed…”

  When Allison took a step back, Jessie knew she had to explain. “I’m not proud of the things I did or the person I was. But it’s a part of me. I have to laugh or go insane thinking how callous I was toward other women. Never taking their feelings into account.”

  It didn’t surprise Jessie when Allison took two steps back. She raised her hands in the air. “I’ve changed. I’m different. I learned.” She lowered her arms. “The thing that changed me the most?”

  Allison was almost afraid to ask. She’d never known anyone who used people. At least not used people for sex. After all, she worked for a huge corporation. They used and abused people, just for the all mighty dollar.

  Jessie leaned in. “Love.” Allison nearly collapsed. It took Jessie’s quick reflexes to steady her. “Yes, it was that simple. I found myself falling in love. It helped I had someone like Candy teaching me what true love is. Not what my mother and father taught me.”

  “I should be getting back to Geraldine and I see you are busy.” Allison managed to look Jessie in the eyes. So commanding. There was definitely something about the former firefighter.

  “But I have to ask you something.” Allison wanted to drink the entire mug of coffee. Her stomach was aching, partially from hunger, but mostly from facing her emotions. “How did you know? I mean I muttered a little. And stammered a little. But was it that obvious? I don’t want to scare Geraldine.”

  Jessie found herself chuckling. “I’m sorry for laughing. I think anyone who sees you looking at Geraldine or the concern you’ve shown for her can see it. But no fear…The one you love is almost always the last to realize it. Or in my case, trust that what I said was true. That I loved Thelma, but there were no others for me. Ever.”

  “Are you telling Allison of your vows?” Thelma hated to interrupt. There had been something transpiring between the two. She knew Jessie would confide in her, at least the basics. If Jessie was helping Allison through something, she hated interrupting.

  “It did sound like them.” Jessie didn’t hesitate in leaning down so she could kiss her wife. When she looked up, Allison was once again blushing. “One last piece of advice, before you bring that tray to your friend. First and foremost, be true to yourself. And be grateful the person you love is in your life. Whether it’s as a friend or if it’s as your significant other.”

  “Thank you.” The last words helped more than Allison could say. “I’d better get this food to Geraldine. I’m hoping she’s remaining. Better yet, I hope she’ll come stay with me.” Allison walked past Thelma. She paused and turned toward the couple. “As a friend.”

  Jessie once again found herself chuckling as Allison winked. She waited until Allison was out of earshot. “I was worried about her. But I think she’s going to be all right.”

  “We will be, too.” Thelma had had trouble sleeping. She’d left Jessie for a good hour. She’d come across Abby as her new friend had tried to wear out her young daughter. Too much excitement and new people for young Alex.

  “You’ve been in a positive mood since we woke up.” Jessie retrieved the tray, grateful when Thelma took the basket of bagels and opened the kitchen door for her. “I know it wasn’t the way I woke you, at least not completely.”

  As they made it to the stairs, Dallas was slowly making her way to the main floor. If Jessie didn’t know any better, she’d swear Dallas was walking a little stiff. And not because she slept wrong or cold weather, either.

  “Morning.” Dallas merely nodded as she continued on to the kitchen. Jessie shook her head. “I do believe the younger Lucy wore out Dallas. Good for them.”

  Thelma slapped her wife’s arm. “Stop. Though it would be good for Lucy. She needs to believe in herself, though, before making a commitment to anyone. I think that was my problem. Others had belittled me so that I’d forgotten to believe in myself.”

  “And there was my reputation.” Jessie avoided the gentle second swat. It wasn’t putting herself down. It was teasing. And telling the truth at the same time. “It was understandable you avoiding me, at first.”

  They’d made it to the study which had turned into the base of operations. “While it was definitely a red flag, it was more what people, especially former lovers, had done to me in the past. Please, don’t be so hard on yourself.”

  “I try.” Jessie knew, deep within, the darkness of her past was a part of herself. That she would be a completely different person without those experiences. She couldn’t help wishing things had been different.

  Thelma hesitated a moment. She gently kissed her wife before entering the office. It was abuzz. There were laptops, tablets and all sorts of electronic devices that didn’t belong to the bed and breakfast.

  More strangers had arrived during the night and early morning. Thelma could honestly say she was surprised by how Sam and Abby’s promised army had mobilized nearly instantly.

  “I’ve brought the caffeine. The better half has brought the fuel.” Jessie placed the tray of mugs and canister of coffee upon the main desk. It was the only place remaining to set anything. The basket of bagels and croissants joined the coffee.

  “It’s gonna be a necessity. At least until we have the cameras in place.” Sam stretched. She hadn’t slept much. It was something she had been blessed or cursed with. There always seemed to be this energy within. Unfortunately, it seemed her daughter had inherited it.

  “I did make a discovery I wanted to tell you about.” Sam pulled out a set of blueprints she had downloaded. They weren’t the original as most during the timeframe simply built their houses.

  “I managed to find a set of blueprints for the house.” Sam managed to lay it out on the desk. Thelma and Jessie held hands as they approached. “Does the name Kane mean anything to you?”

  “Th
at’s Candy’s maiden name.” Technically it was still Candy’s last name. They had chosen not to take one another’s last names or hyphenate them.

  “I don’t know why I thought there was a connection to either of you.” Sam didn’t have to look up to know the expression she was receiving.

  It was something Sam possessed. Though she never spoke of it, not even to Abby, she sensed things. Sometimes, it was about a person. She could definitely read most people, like the back of her hand. Sometimes, it was in regards to a place.

  “The last ownership, other than the state, was a trust setup in the Kane name.” Sam had done extensive research. “Someone drained the trust but left the manor alone. It fell empty until Thelma purchased it.”

  Thelma was floored. It wasn’t something she’d ever expected. “Do you think, after all this is over with, that you could possibly discover more? It might mean a great deal to Candy and her family.”

  “That’s why I brought it to your attention. It’s a little positivity. Plus, we can return to this. Or someone can.” Sam could turn it over to Olivia. She was an expert at research, better than Sam had ever been.

  “Thank you. Anything to look forward to is needed.” Thelma felt the squeeze of her arm. She had to remain positive. Not only for her boarders, but for herself.

  Since others had harmed her in the past, remaining positive was not always easy for Thelma. She had an amazing wife. She had her supportive friends. There were also the failed businesses that haunted her.

  So it wasn’t only for others that Thelma had to remain positive. She didn’t want a relapse. There were too many counting on her. Including the woman she loved more than anything.

  “Now, onto the business at hand.” Sam turned her back on the couple. “I don’t think things are as bad as I first suspected.”

  “My name is Tessa.” The woman was imposing, to say the least. She was as tall as Jessie and her hair just as dark. But there was something in her eyes.

  Yes, they were the color of a bright summer day. But there was hurt in them. And something else. Thelma couldn’t quite place what it was.

  “I’ve been scouring the grounds.” Tessa turned toward Sam. “Without a tagalong.” Sam rolled her eyes, before returning to her task at hand. “While boss lady is right that someone has been on the land for months, I think some of the signs are of squatters. They might only be a day or two old.”

  “Squatters?” Thelma hated to think of it. But even in these modern times, there were so many that were homeless. There were so many that went hungry. With the money she had, she could get them started on their way. If only she knew about them to help.

  “They pose no threat. In fact, I found this on the very edge of the property line.” Tessa held out the envelope. This was different than their normal cases. It hit close to home.

  Thelma felt her constant shadow as she took possession of the envelope. There was no writing on it. Inside, she found a five-dollar bill. There was a simple note stating they were grateful for the use of land for a week and sorry they didn’t have more money to repay them.

  “I still recommend the cameras, at least until we can sort out who is behind the burning of the cross.” Tessa straightened to her full height. “Olivia and I plan on camping out on the farthest boundary. Walking it at night, as well as having Steve monitor the cameras from here.”

  “Thank you. This money will go into a fund. For those that don’t have money to stay. Or for food.” Thelma felt arms wrap around her from behind. “Let us know what we can do for you, besides stay out of the way.”

  “I think, for now, it’s best to be there for your boarders. We’ll keep you apprised of anything.” Tessa wasn’t accustomed to being in the position of leader.

  After all, since she was a youth, Tessa had been told who she could love. She had been told what she would do. Her family even forced her to spend time in jail, just so she could be there if anyone was sent there.

  It was a miracle Tessa was a free woman. But with money, education and connections, anything was possible. The one thing that wasn’t possible was love. Something Tessa thought would not be bestowed upon her.

  “I think we need to have a little alone time. Won’t be too far.” Thelma glanced at her wife. “Perhaps a trip to the stables? I know you love working with the horses.”

  “Have both your cellphones fully charged.” Tessa felt her cellphone vibrate. “If anything new comes about, we’ll let you know. And don’t hesitate to call.”

  Thelma nodded before allowing herself to be escorted out of the study. It was difficult to leave. Not knowing was the most difficult part. Sitting around in the study watching her new friends work wouldn’t ease her apprehension and they might get in the way.

  After another stop to the kitchen, Thelma and Jessie found themselves in the stable. Was it the scent of the hay? Was it the scent of the horses? Was it the animals themselves? Was it the sound of the thunderstorm raging outside? Whatever it was, Thelma instantly found herself relaxing.

  Jessie took a sip from her coffee before placing it on one of the tables. She picked up a brush. The young woman was still learning to care for horses. Part of her wished for Geraldine’s guidance in the arena.

  Thelma, on the other hand, wasn’t exactly a fan of the horses. She loved their majestic beauty. She loved how loyal they were. It was the height issue.

  Not even Jessie knew Thelma had this irrational fear of heights. In everyday life, she was able to mask it. But horseback riding brought the fear to the forefront. Now riding in the carriage was amazing.

  “Are you regretting any of this?” Jessie knew it was up to her to break the silence. It was supposed to be about getting away for a few moments. But Thelma needed a nudge.

  “I’ll never regret marrying you.” Thelma knew that wasn’t what Jessie’s question was in regards to. She was stalling. Her strength and self-confidence were waning. It happened, unfortunately, from time to time.

  Jessie placed the brush back in its place before making her way to her wife. “You are deflecting. Understandably, but we need to keep talking about this. About whether we are truly making a difference. Or if bigotry and hatred are winning.”

  “You know me too well.” Thelma made her way to the railing. The horse Jessie had been brushing snorted at her. “Easy, big boy.” Thelma relaxed as she felt arms wrap around her from behind.

  “I do know you. It’s like when we first met. And when your memories were first returning.” Jessie remembered, all too well. The most painful time, for her, was when Thelma couldn’t remember the love they shared.

  For Thelma, it was a time that remained blurry. Her memories were never clear. Sometimes, she’d have a flash of the violence that had cost her her memories. Sometimes, she’d have flashes of the journey that brought them together. Would she ever fully regain her memories?

  Thelma turned in the loving embrace. “I’m working on it. I see it in Lucy. And in Allison. Geraldine doesn’t even know how to let anyone get close, let alone push them away.”

  “We are an unruly lot.” Jessie gently kissed her wife. The kiss slowly deepened. Tongues began dueling. The horse’s whinnying caused the two to separate.

  “Killjoy.” Thelma couldn’t help but laugh. While she wasn’t fully relaxed, some of the tension had been released. There was a little tension settling elsewhere, but that would be fun to be released.

  “What say we check on lunch?” Jessie wanted to sweep up her wife and show her once again how much she loved and desired her. That could wait for later. Now, she wanted to be prepared should anything new be revealed.

  Thelma was tempted to suggest taking their kiss to the loft. Unfortunately, now was not the time for that. Not even with the expertise of Sam and her friends. After all, it was their bed and breakfast.

  “After you, my lady.” Jessie retrieved both their coffee mugs, before taking Thelma’s hand. It wasn’t long before they were using the back entrance near the kitchen.

  It was
sad that soon there would be need of a passcode or special key to enter any of the entrances, besides the front door. Times were changing. More than Thelma or Jessie cared to admit.

  Elvira was busy cooking her specialty. It was grilled chicken with garlic sauce. There would be mixed vegetables and salad. What meal was complete without biscuits and cornbread?

  “Morning Miss Thelma, Miss Jessie.” Elvira loved her job. But she hated what the world was becoming. It was something she had witnessed growing up as a woman of color in the heart of Albany. Now, it was projected toward nearly anyone different, whether it was the color of the skin or how one worshiped or how one loved.

  “Morning, Miss Elvira.” Thelma wasn’t much of a cook and was grateful Elvira had agreed to stay on. Everyone on staff had agreed to remain. It was something Thelma was thankful for. Not everyone would stay when there was a chance of danger.

  “Lunch will be ready at half past twelve.” Elvira removed the biscuits and cornbread from the oven. They were hastily covered by a clean dishtowel to keep them warm. “I’ve made enough for a small army.”

  It was Elvira’s way of saying she’d made enough for those staying at the bed and breakfast and those that were now working to make certain everyone remained safe.

  “I’m certain Sam and her friends will be grateful for a true Southern meal.” Jessie tried to sneak one of the cornbread from beneath the towel. For her troubles, she received a slap on the arm from Elvira and a slap on the butt from Thelma.

  A round of laughter ensued. Thelma was more determined than ever to make certain their bed and breakfast remained open. They wouldn’t make a lot of money, but they would ensure the happiness and safety of others.

  ()()()()()()()()()()()()()

  Dallas had hated leaving the warmth of the bed she shared with Lucy. In all her years, she had never experienced anything like the night of lovemaking she had shared with Lucy. And that was the key. It was based on love, not physical pleasure.